Fake eyelashes, eyeshadow, etc. @ 5 year old's Chuck E Cheese party!

[smiles33]

Still in shock to have seen DD's friend with a full face of makeup including fake eyelashes, eye shadow, lipstick, and nail polish (with silver glitter "French manicure" tips). Yes, i get that it is her birthday but she is 5. Wow. Not what I expected at all (and at Chuck E Cheese, as opposed to some princessy/makeup party, which i would have declined). Now I need to manage DD's expectations as her 5th birthday is coming up....maybe this should have been in the BP.

[sunshine873]

I think that's a bit much for just about anyone, unless they're party involves a club, dinner & dancing. Really? For a 5 year old? Ewwwwww.

[MamaMolly]

I'd be uncomfortable with that. Did they offer them as favors or was it just the party girl all tarted up?

My Lula will be 5 in the fall. We will be in the middle of a move and away from friends and family, so I was thinking of taking her to a nail salon for a mommy~daughter mani/pedi. But he!! no she won't be getting false eyelashes and press on nails until she can drive herself to the store and buy them herself.

I understand that people have different comfort levels with this sort of thing. Our line is that Lula had to be 5 years old OR potty trained day and night for nail polish. She was an exceedingly reluctant potty trainer, but she really really really really wanted that nail polish and she finally did it. Our neighbor friends let their daughter wear polish on her toes before she was three. What ever, I couldn't care less. But I don't think I'd be comfortable with the situation you described above. FWIW I tell Lula all the time that Child X does what her mama says, and Lula does what her mama says. Different rules for different families.

[fortato]

That's a bit much for an ADULT at a CEC party....

Yikes.

[smiles33]

Yes, just the party girl was dolled up. Her mom had a full face but no fake lashes.

I guess I just feel SO conservative now. DD isn't even allowed CLEAR nail polish except for her birthday and my brother's wedding. Yes, like MamaMolly we tell her our house, our rules, but it is hard to justify with "only ladies wear makeup" now that she knows some big girls do.

[Indianamom2]

Wow.

I will let DD wear nail polish as a reward for something (or bribe!), but no way will we do eye shadow and fake lashes. Heck, I don't even wear fake lashes (but I could sure use them!).

DD just had her nails painted on Sat. as a treat since I really wanted her to get her hair cut, but her sensory issues make that really hard for her. She wanted to paint her nails...so it was a win-win for us. I let her pick out the color and she picked a sparkly deep pink. I have no problems with that.

But beauty pageant makeup for a 5 yr. old b-day party at CEC....nope!

[ladysoapmaker]

DD#1 loves to paint her finger nails (bright garish purple). I have no problem with it but then again she knows she's not allowed to wear it to school. Her cousin (who is now 12) will ask if she can put on makeup on DD#1 but again the rule is only in the house and it must be washed off before either bedtime (if they had a sleep over) or we leave the house. Also we emphasize the no sharing of certain products. Q-tips are our friend. My MIL is a Mary Kay consultant so they are learning not to tart themselves up but to make it look natural. I only wear mascara and so have very little experience with good makeup. So I like DDs having a chance to learn in a "safe" environment.

Now the party you described and the birthday girl. The poor dear... I feel sorry for her and the mom.

Jen

[babyonway]

That's a bit much for an ADULT at a CEC party....

Yikes.

That is EXACTLY what I was going to post!

[Melanie]

Yeah, that's a bit much for a 5 yo. But clearly we are not in the majority with this opinion given the amount of those tart-your-daughter-up places and parties.

[maestramommy]

That's so odd. I mean for a CEC party?? I agree with Kristen. *I* don't wear makeup for a CEC party!

[AnnieW625]

That would bother me even more than seeing a set of three 5 or 6 yr. old friends yesterday in sparkly Barbie silhoutte tees, bright pink fuschia sparkly pants, and silver ugg style boots at Legoland yesterday. Wow was that out of place!

DD1 wore her hair in a ballet bun, and had blush on to the lone CEC party she's been to but that was because she had her Nutcracker performance that afternoon! Makeup yeah not needed.

[carolinamama]

I so don't want my daughter to wear makeup like that EVER in her life, let alone at 5 years old. I find that somewhat strange personally. I have never in my life worn that much makeup so I'm hoping DD will not be into that type of thing.

[94bruin]

What's a CEC party?

[boolady]

What's a CEC party?

Chuck E Cheese

[Melaine]

I don't have a problem with nail polish, but fake eyelashes on a preschooler?! That's taking it way beyond "dress-up" IMO. Weird.

[MMEand1]

I thought I was the only one with a make-up problem...my 5 yo came home from school saying her friends told her she is not pretty unless she wears make-up! :0

Why do all these little girls (and their parents - because you know someone is buying it for them) think they have to grow up so much faster than necessary?

[brittone2]

Marketers and the whole "kids getting older younger" thing they push. (KGOY or age compression in the marketing world).

http://www.usatoday.com/money/advertising/2007-04-11-tween-usat_n.htm

Thought this little bit was appropriate...talking about "tarted up" trolls, horses, and Tinkerbell ;) It mentions horses with high heels (!?) and long eyelashes...not sure whether to laugh or cry when I read this stuff.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/41895570/ns/today-parenting/

from the above: (emphasis mine)
But representatives at Mattel, the makers of the wildly popular Monster High Dolls, say its controversial line of toy dolls, featuring the teen offspring of monsters, aims to show kids it's OK to be different.
“Monster High is all about celebrating your imperfections and accepting the imperfections of others," says Margaux Vega, spokeswoman for Mattel.
She acknowledges that the dolls, which sport fishnet stockings, heavy makeup and ultrashort skirts, appeal mostly to 5- to 7-year-olds. But they also have online personas and webisodes aimed at older kids that tell each doll's backstory.
"Clawdeen Wolf is the teenage daughter of a werewolf. In the webisodes, she has to shave and wax and pluck between classes," Vega says. "Girls of a certain age know about the embarrassment of unwanted hair in unwanted places.”


So it is about "celebrating your imperfections" and "accepting the imperfections of others"when they are pushing the idea of hair removal/vanity on dolls that they know appeal to 5-7yo? Give me a break. Teen interests being pushed down to very young children under the guise of "celebrating individuality". Blech.

[megs4413]

I'm surprised at how harsh some of these responses are....aside from the fake eyelashes, I guess I don't see the big deal. My daughter loves make up (granted, i wear a lot, so she watches me put it on) and though I don't let her wear any normally, if she'd asked for her birthday? I guess I probably would have yes as a treat for her birthday, though i don't think i'd consent to fake eyelashes, that just seems odd.

of course, i've even *GASP* taken my daughter to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique...i never considered that people thought that was shameful "tarting up." she had a fanastic time and looked adorable, IMO. i'm so glad we got to do that together.

[marie]

Count me among the WTF? crowd. Of course, maybe I'm not the best judge since I am makeup illiterate. I was in a show last year and needed to wear false eyelashes. I had no idea where to start but a 16 year old cast member knew exactly what to do! :rotflmao:

Walmart came out with a whole line of cosmetics for 8-12 year olds last month. :shake:

http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2011/02/09/walmarts-geogirl-doesnt-every-8-year-old-need-to-exfoliate/

[bubbaray]

Could it be that she had a dance performance or cheerleading performance right before?

My girls have to wear heavy stage makeup for ballet performances. IRL they look like clowns, but on stage they look normal with the harsh lights (their performances are on a large professional stage in a 1000 seat theatre). Its only for dress rehersals and performances and they are VERY happy to wash it off afterwards!

However, I nearly fell off my seat when I saw one of their little dancers a couple of weekends back. Turns out she is also into competitive cheerleading and had a tournament. Holy cow, I thought stage makeup was heavy, this was REALLY heavy. Sparkly green eyeliner, fake lashes (which the little dancers don't wear), tips, etc.

So, that is my long-winded way of saying, maybe there was a reason for it?

Even if there wasn't, different strokes for different folks. My kids have done the BBB experience and loved it. I have gotten completely slammed here for that, but whatever. Works for us. And, like I said, my girls are not asking to wear makeup because the stage stuff isn't exactly comfortable.

[BabbyO]

I might agree to makeup and nails for a special occasion, but seriously the eyelashes.

I've worn them...in a show and for a halloween costume. I'd pretty much never put fake eyelashes on a child that age...stage or not. I think its tricky getting them on and I'm pretty good at not blinking (from years of putting contacts and drops in my eyes). I'd never trust that a child could hold still enough and not blink enough to prevent the glue from getting in their eyes.

Seems a bit strange to me...but then again, I'm not her mom.

[smiles33]

I'm surprised at how harsh some of these responses are....aside from the fake eyelashes, I guess I don't see the big deal. My daughter loves make up (granted, i wear a lot, so she watches me put it on) and though I don't let her wear any normally, if she'd asked for her birthday? I guess I probably would have yes as a treat for her birthday, though i don't think i'd consent to fake eyelashes, that just seems odd.

of course, i've even *GASP* taken my daughter to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique...i never considered that people thought that was shameful "tarting up." she had a fanastic time and looked adorable, IMO. i'm so glad we got to do that together.

I hope my posts didn't come off as really judgmental. I think this experience just illustrated how much more conservative I am when it comes to makeup for 5 year olds than I thought. I fully understand that other parents happily allow makeup for their daughters and I guess I always assumed that meant lipstick and maybe pink nail polish, not full eye makeup and two toned silver glitter manicures.

Again, I didn't mean to imply that my conservatism is normal or the "right" thing to do.

[dec756]

nailpolish, yes i think it is super typically and a fun activity to do with mom. makeup..pushing it, but might be alright as a birthday exception. fake eyelashes wayyyy overdoes the whole thing for me. i dont have daughters but i KNOW my mother would have never allowed that...

[MamaMolly]

I'm surprised at how harsh some of these responses are....aside from the fake eyelashes, I guess I don't see the big deal. My daughter loves make up (granted, i wear a lot, so she watches me put it on) and though I don't let her wear any normally, if she'd asked for her birthday? I guess I probably would have yes as a treat for her birthday, though i don't think i'd consent to fake eyelashes, that just seems odd.

of course, i've even *GASP* taken my daughter to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique...i never considered that people thought that was shameful "tarting up." she had a fanastic time and looked adorable, IMO. i'm so glad we got to do that together.

Well, as the first to have used the phrase 'tarted up' I feel like I should clarify my feelings on the subject. I didn't intend to make anyone feel judged or shamed. For the record I don't have a problem with Bibbidy Bobbidy Boutique. I don't even know enough about it to have an opinion, really. So let me ask about your experience with it. Do you feel like your DD looked like a little girl playing dress up or a little girl that was dressed up like an adult? For me, that is where I draw the line between sweet/cute/fun and 'tarted up'.

We let Lula have lip balm and nail polish, and I have personally used dark purple glitter nailpolish a a blatant bribe to get my DD to potty train. That said, I do think full face makeup on a 5 year old is inappropriate. Even on her birthday.

[bubbaray]

I really think the phrase "tarted up" when used to describe a child is inappropriate, regardless of the context.

JMHO.

[mommy111]

Forget the kid, I don't think its horrible as a kids' treat, but chuck-e-cheese and full makeup on the mom???? That is where I think the problem lies :ROTFLMAO:
My DD was horrendously fond of makeup especially since a few of her friends wore it and since a friend got her a whole nail polish and lip gloss set (12 of them, oh horror, that I confiscated!!!) However, since she was getting more and more curious about the whole thing, I told her she could have them, wear them over the weekend and has to remove them for school. After intense use for 2-3 weeks, she went back to realizing that books are more interesting than make-up :) Phew!!
I think since kids are going to be exposed to these things all their lives, its good to get them to explore them in a contained environment where you can explain/help. Better that than her feeing the need to put on lipstick and hide from me.
And I am very anti-make-up and come from the perspective that kids are being sexualized at very young ages now, and that this detracts from what is truly important in their lives: who they are as people and what they do with their lives.

[megs4413]

Well, as the first to have used the phrase 'tarted up' I feel like I should clarify my feelings on the subject. I didn't intend to make anyone feel judged or shamed. For the record I don't have a problem with Bibbidy Bobbidy Boutique. I don't even know enough about it to have an opinion, really. So let me ask about your experience with it. Do you feel like your DD looked like a little girl playing dress up or a little girl that was dressed up like an adult? For me, that is where I draw the line between sweet/cute/fun and 'tarted up'.

We let Lula have lip balm and nail polish, and I have personally used dark purple glitter nailpolish a a blatant bribe to get my DD to potty train. That said, I do think full face makeup on a 5 year old is inappropriate. Even on her birthday.

the BBB is all sparkles and fairy dust and sticker jewels. it's definitely dress up. i've let her wear lip gloss on occasion when she's asked to use some of mine. i fail to see how that equates to "tarting her up" and I'm honestly not sure how you meant it if it wasn't intended to shame parents who allow their daughters to play with makeup sometimes. i mean, it's not like she's doing her face every day before going out....that would be ridiculous. but it's monkey see, monkey do around here. mommy plays with makeup every day, so DD wants to be like mommy. i don't think that's a bad thing....i certainly don't think of myself as a "tart" simply because I do full face makeup every day.

as i said before, the eyelashes seem really extreme, but i guess it's possible the mom wears them regularly??? and so the daughter asked for it on a special occasion? i can't see myself saying yes to those (i won't let her have eye makeup besides like glitter on the eyelids or something), but i certainly wouldn't judge someone for saying yes on a birthday...on a trip to the grocery store? yeah, i would think it was bizarre.

[xmasbabycomin]

BBB doesn't bother me so much if you can handle the whole idea of your daughter being a "princess", because that's kinda what it seems like they're playing up to. I like the fantasy/dress-up idea of it, but I haven't done it w/her b/c a. she hasn't really wanted to, and b. I'd rather wait until I know she understand that the life of a princess is really just fantasy...well, this is a whole other discussion.

But a whole face of makeup at CEC w/eyelashes is just inappropriate IMO. Yes, maybe she had a recital or something, but if that were DD and that were the case, I certainly would've been throwing that fact around so everyone knew I didn't let her walk around like that for no reason. I think there's a time and a place for dress-up and out in public where there are random strange men and impressionable friends is not the best place.

Of course, it's still not as bad as the elementary school costume contest I judged where there was a girl - she looked to be about 5 - dressed as Pamela Anderson....stuffed red bathing suit and everything. The year before we had Dolly Parton-some teachers were saying how cute the girl looked! I told my husband we had to remember which teachers they were so we could be sure to request DIFFERENT ones. :0

[MamaMolly]

the BBB is all sparkles and fairy dust and sticker jewels. it's definitely dress up. i've let her wear lip gloss on occasion when she's asked to use some of mine. i fail to see how that equates to "tarting her up" and I'm honestly not sure how you meant it if it wasn't intended to shame parents who allow their daughters to play with makeup sometimes. i mean, it's not like she's doing her face every day before going out....that would be ridiculous. but it's monkey see, monkey do around here. mommy plays with makeup every day, so DD wants to be like mommy. i don't think that's a bad thing....i certainly don't think of myself as a "tart" simply because I do full face makeup every day.

as i said before, the eyelashes seem really extreme, but i guess it's possible the mom wears them regularly??? and so the daughter asked for it on a special occasion? i can't see myself saying yes to those (i won't let her have eye makeup besides like glitter on the eyelids or something), but i certainly wouldn't judge someone for saying yes on a birthday...on a trip to the grocery store? yeah, i would think it was bizarre.

I appreciate your feedback on this. It is helping me define (for myself, really!) my comfort area in regards to makeup, etc.

I'm also not very good at censoring my vocabulary lately. Instead of saying 'tarted up' I probably should have said 'inappropriate for a child'. I've given this a lot of thought. I wanted to examine where the phrase came from for me. I'd like to think I'm kinder than that, though today it doesn't look that way. I come from a pretty judgmental 'Bible Belt' Southern upbringing, with what could be generously described as Victorian mores. I have some knee jerk reactions about things, and only stop to think about them when someone calls me on it. So I thank you for that. :)

:popc1: <------ me with a bag full of food for thought.


ETA: and FTR I love makeup, wear makeup, and have no issue with adults wearing makeup. Nor do I have issues with little girls engaged in pretend play that is age appropriate.