Starting my new job - anxious

[DietCokeLover]

I start my new job on Monday. Well, actually, I have training on Monday and Tuesday, then I start the next week. I'm only working Mon and Tues mornings, but I am feeling all kinds of anxiety about it. I haven't worked in my field in 6 years and I'm really not excited about being away from my DC, even though they will be with DH at home.

I just always wanted to purely be a SAHM. I haven't really wanted to be a career woman or even a working woman. Just Mommy.

Anyway, I am trying to be thankful for this opportunity. In so many ways, it is "a God thing". We live in such a remote area, that it is unusual that I could find a job working the number of hours that I want to, without having to drive an hour or more to get there. The pay is good and it will enable us to pay off all our debt within about 4 months. So, for all of that I really am thankful.

But, I can't help feeling really sad about MY dream of staying with my kids. I somehow feel like I have "sold out" on myself somehow. I don't know, can't really explain it. (this is not a commentary on anyone else or anyone else's choices regarding work/ home.... just my own.)

Anyone BTDT?

[fivi2]

Good luck!

FWIW - I went back to work full time about 5 months ago. Overall I still wish I could be at home, but it has been good for me in a lot of ways. It is nice to expand my world a bit and to feel competent at something other than yelling at my kids ;) I do like earning money and feeling like if something happened I'd be in a better position to take care of us. Although we are still paying off some debt, we will (hopefully) be in a pretty good place soon and be less stressed about finances.
And, my girls and I were starting to get on each others' nerves more and more. So a little separation has been good for us.
Right now I think that if I could work part time, it'd be just about perfect!

This sounds like a great opportunity for you. And remember - if it doesn't work out, you can always quit! I find it easier to deal with situations if I don't feel like I am trapped there.

[scrooks]

I agree with the pp... Sometimes a little separation from the kids is good for everyone. Right now I work 2 days a week and I really enjoy the "grown up" time. It sounds like a really great opportunity and I hope you have a great first day!

[SnuggleBuggles]

If you can be debt free in 4 months, why not just make this a 4 month plan? :) Best of luck!
Beth

[jenfromnj]

Vibes for a good experience with work! I also have been working 10-15 hours per week lately (some in the office, some at home) and although I love being home with DS, I am really enjoying work.

I look at working very p-t as the best of both worlds--lots of time to do the SAHM thing, but also a chance to use my "work mind", to make some extra money and to have some adult interaction that doesn't revolve around kids.

[niccig]

Since I have gone back to school, DH does more with DS and this is good for their relationship. I was the one that did everything for DS, now DH does more. I can see how that has helped them be closer.

Think of the work time as time DC get with DH to strengthen their bond. Then you get to go home and be with them as DH will want a break.

Being debt free and then saving money for emergencies, extra fir college will be a gift to your children as well as less stress over finances. Having grown up in financially stressed household, this is huge gift IMO. I know it is not what you planned, but if you can give more financial security and only be away for 8 hours, it really is a good situation as you will be with them the remaining 160 hours in a week.

Maybe if you look at what DC will be gaining by you working 2 mornings, bonding time with DH and greater financial security, it will be easy to deal with the change in plans.

[SkyrMommy]

I agree with the PPs... sending you lots of good thoughts for a great start and peace with your decision. I hope that everything works out for the best.

[DietCokeLover]

Thanks all. I appreciate the words of encouragement.

[cchavez]

I feel for you. I was at home full-time for 5 years and then I started contracting 2 days a month a couple of years ago. I know it is a very small sacrifice but since they are two Saturdays a month, it feels like I am really sacrificing family time. However, it has been great for me to use my skills and in the long run if something ever happens to DH, I will have fresh skills and no huge gap in my employment. So I think of working as giving my family security....hth.

[liz]

Good luck tomorrow!!

FWIW, I work PT and I find it to be a good balance. I get a break from being home/the kids,
I get to use my skills and I feel I appreciate my kids more because I get to miss them, IYKWIM.

Anyway, calm 1st day of work vibes coming your way!

[Melaine]

I hope this becomes a bit of refreshing time for you to get a break from full-time parenting. I know you are great at it, so they will be glad to have you!

I can understand the anxiety, but I'm sure you are making the right choice by giving it a shot. And then you will get to come home to DC, who will be happy to see you and DH will appreciate you more since you were gone....it will be great!

[bubbaray]

Wanted to wish you a GREAT first day!!! :grouphug:

[WolfpackMom]

You're going to do great!!! And I agree with PPs it very well may be great for your relationship with the kids, sometimes a little space and adult time is helpful. I work fulltime but DS is in part time daycare (since I work from home I keep him with me part time). Those days we are seperate helps me appreciate him all the more, and helps me appreciate ME a little more.

[Indianamom2]

I hope this becomes a bit of refreshing time for you to get a break from full-time parenting. I know you are great at it, so they will be glad to have you!

I can understand the anxiety, but I'm sure you are making the right choice by giving it a shot. And then you will get to come home to DC, who will be happy to see you and DH will appreciate you more since you were gone....it will be great!

:yeahthat:

Melaine said exactly what I was thinking...plus the fact that you have an amazing opportunity to be debt free in 4 short months. And my only other advice is that a "God thing" is always going to be a good thing for you and your family.:hug:

You're going to be great!

[DietCokeLover]

Thanks again y'all. Y'all are great!

LOL - but I don't know how much adult time I'll get... I'm a child therapist. I'll be with Kindergardners and 1st graders all morning! :) But, I love them, so it will be good. I LOVE that I can get paid to play with kids!

[Tammy]

Good luck on your first day! :hug:

[liamsmom]

LOL - but I don't know how much adult time I'll get... I'm a child therapist.

Lol! Good luck on your first day!

[twowhat?]

Congratulations on the new job! And hoping for a great first day tomorrow. The anxiety takes time to go away, and IME it gets harder before it gets easier. I don't meant to be a downer but just want to give you a realistic view. For me it probably took a good 6 months - around the time that the girls stopped getting sick so often from daycare. The worst part of it for me was having sick kids, and feeling spread so thin because any work I missed had to be made up, meaning time taken away from spending time with the girls, and getting sick so often myself, resulting in more missed days and more nights/weekends working, etc. Once our routine settled down and I got into the swing of things (I also became a LOT more efficient at doing my job than I was before having kids), and the girls got over that initial first onslaught of illnesses, then things got a lot better. I enjoy my adult time, and being able to go out for lunch every now and then, or run quick errands during my lunch break. I make the most of my time spent with the girls and I honestly do not feel like anyone has suffered because of me going back to work. It's just a new normal.

Good luck!!

[smiles33]

I am guessing the anxiety is probably from your mixed emotions about going back to work. Give yourself permission to judge the job honestly and hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised by how you feel at the end of the week. At the very least, like PP have said, your family will be more appreciative of all that you do even if you quit at the end of the week. If you know that this is an option that may be just temporary, it relieves some of the pressure and guilt you may be feeling about forgoing your dream job of being a SAHM.

Best case scenario: you enjoy the change of pace, your family appreciates you more and likes (or at least tolerates) the alternate arrangements, and you pay off your debt in 4 months and start adding to your nest egg.

Have a great first day!

[goldenpig]

Good luck on your first day! :cheerleader1:

[KpbS]

Thinking of you on your first day--so glad you
could land this job! That is awesome!! I hope all goes well and I bet it will be refreshing to be out and have some separation from your everyday life/running a business. It is definitely an added bonus that your dh can be w your DC and you don't have to pay for childcare. Have a great first day :hug:

[plusbellelavie]

Just wanted to wish you Good Luck and hope your first day of training went well! :bighand:

[MoJo]

Blessings on your first day!

As another very part-timer, I find that I'm more ready to be with my kids after just a little break from them. . . and I think it's very good for DH to take responsibility for the kids just a little. And it's a huge family security issue, knowing that I could put food on the table if something happened to DH or his job. . . and knowing that he could take care of the kids if somethinhg happened to me.

My oldest tells me she's sad I have to leave. . . and my DH does better with the kids if he gets them out of the house. So my best suggestion is helping them plan something fun that your kids can look forward to that DH can do with them. In our house, that's something simple like a walk, a trip to a park, or going out to eat for breakfast at a place that runs a great weekday special.

If this is a God thing, I truly believe it will be a good thing for everyone involved!!!

[PAfirsttimemom]

Good luck to you! Hope you end up really enjoying the part-time work. Wishing your family a smooth adjustment period.