Do you wear white/ivory color to the wedding?

[moonsky]

I normally don't but saw some people do and wonder whether it is appropriate.

[rlu]

I think you may find the answers vary by culture. I don't wear all-white or mostly-black to a wedding. I have worn a white with floral print before and don't think it was in bad taste. Generally what I wear depends on what I have in the closet for the season and time (daytime vs evening) of the wedding.

[infomama]

I have not and probably wouldn't but I wouldn't condemn someone who did.

[Cam&Clay]

Southerner born and bred. If I wore white to a wedding, I would hear my mother's voice in my ear the entire evening.

I still have ill feelings towards the date of a friend of mine at my first wedding in 1993 who wore off-white lace to my wedding. I'm getting all fired up just thinking about it.

[mackmama]

I think it can be okay depending on the season and the style of the dress. I'd probably stay away from something floor length and flowy :) If it's a pattern on a shorter white dress, though, I think that's okay.

[Green_Tea]

Primarily white or ivory, without an obvious print? Absolutely not. In fact, I was at a wedding just a few weeks ago where someone wore a long white cocktail dress. Pretty much everyone I spoke to asked me who the chick in white was. The bride was appalled.

(This was at a wedding in the US. Of course if I were somewhere else in the world where wearing white to someone else's wedding was considered appropriate or even encouraged, my answer would be different.)

[ahrimie]

I wouldn't just in case it offends the bride.

[vludmilla]

I would wear something with a white background but I don't think I would wear an all-white dress to a wedding, not that I think I would really be competing with the bride but just so as not to even have the appearance of doing so.

[WolfpackMom]

I would not wear white or ivory unless it had a heavy pattern over it. I wore an ivory dress to a wedding a few weeks ago, but it had a heavy black print on it where it was all black on the bottom and worked its way up to ivory and black print (if that makes sense).

[kijip]

No, heck no.

I did wear an ivory and black patterned dress to a wedding once but that was with a cardigan and I ran it by the bride.

[fivi2]

Primarily white or ivory, without an obvious print? Absolutely not.

:yeahthat:

Honestly I can't even wrap my head around someone thinking it was okay. (I am from the South).

Black, I probably wouldn't, but wouldn't be as appalled by someone else doing it.

[SnuggleBuggles]

No way.

Beth

[Snow mom]

A large, vibrant pattern on a white background? Maybe.

A white dress? No way, no how.

[bubbaray]

No, definitely not.

[edurnemk]

Nooooooooo. At every wedding I've ever been to, there's at least one guest wearing white, though, but it's kind of frowned upon. (Everyone talks about the woman in white behind her back)

I have a couple of acquaintances who had beach weddings and requested that all the guests wear white/cream colored clothes. But other than that, I've always heard it's a no-no.

ETA. like others have said white background with a color print, is OK, but all white or mostly white, no way.

[boilermakermom]

No, no, no!!!! I agree with a PP-if I did that I would her my mother and grandma he whole time!!! Traditionally, only the bride should be I white! I usually stick with a black cocktail dress.

[JoyNChrist]

I have an ivory sheath dress that has a gold lace overdress thing with beads and stuff, that I've worn to a few weddings. But I think it reads more gold than ivory, because I asked several people before I wore it and they said it was fine (and we're southerners, so they would have told me if it was a no no).

But in general, no!

[dcmom2b3]

:nono: No way. Prints with white or based in white/ivory would be fine, IMO. But all white or ivory whether short or long? :nono:

This of course assumes that it's a western, christian wedding. But honestly, I haven't ever worn a white dress to any wedding, even if the bride wasn't going to be wearing white because of her traditions. Makes no sense to buy a "wedding guest dress" that isn't versitile.

[crl]

Nope. I won't wear white/off-white, black or red. I think these "rules" are considered dated by many, especially the black and red, but I figure why risk it.

Catherine

[cntrymoon2]

No way. I am cringing at the memories of having to talk my future mother in law out of a tiered, floor length ivory halter top CLEAVAGE dress.

[Sillygirl]

Absolutely!




If I were the bride.

[MommyAllison]

White dress, no way. But I think I've probably worn a white dress shirt (with a skirt) and not thought twice about it. Maybe I should have? Are white shirts off limits too? I assumed it was just dresses. :bag

[fumofu]

What is a big no - that is reserved for the bride. Don't steal the spotlight, it's her day! And I wouldn't wear it just to avoid the scrutiny of others.

I try to avoid wearing black but did at my sister's wedding. I couldn't find anything that fit me well, and I had limited time to look for a dress. So I tied a pink ribbon around the waist of my knee-length dress.

[brgnmom]

Heck no. I would not ever wear a white or ivory dress to a wedding (the only exception was at my own church wedding when I was the bride :wink2:).

[tabegle]

Nope! I too still get fired up about dh's cousin (and her mother) that both wore a white dress to my wedding. :32: I don't care that it was knee length. It was all white. Wear hooker-red all you want (like the cousin's sister) but don't wear an all white dress.

It's been 10 plus years and I still wonder if someone in dh's family did something to piss them off for 2 people from one family to wear white dresses to my wedding.

Sorry, I guess I'm venting still... :bag

[conniez]

Sorry had to add my 2 cents. I wouldn't, and I still am upset to this day that BIL's gf at the time wore a white cocktail dress to my wedding. Still upset when I think of it & this was 12 years ago. Maybe I would feel different if I liked the person, so it could be partly because his gf was a b*tch! lol

[TwinFoxes]

Well, I'm from California, not the south, and even I think it's incredibly inappropriate to wear white to a wedding. ;)

[DrSally]

Plain white or ivory dress wo/obvious print/overlay--NO!
My friends MIL wore a solid white dress to her wedding--Tacky!

[Melaine]

No, definitely not. I have to say that tradition still sticks with me; if I see someone wearing all white I feel like that is rude.

[tribe pride]

Well, I guess I'm definitely in the minority, because I've worn a knee length mostly-white dress to a wedding (white with small blue stripes going down, and blue embroidery at the waist). Up close you can see the blue pattern, but from a distance it looks all white. I've also worn black to several weddings, and know LOTS of people who do the same (both my peers, as well as women my parents' age).

Honestly, it never crossed my mind that these dresses might have been inappropriate- oops! I'm kind of surprised that so many people (not necessarily here, but in general) might worry that wearing a white (or black) dress would offend the bride. I wouldn't have cared at all what people wore to my wedding, and don't really remember what anyone had on. The only reason I know what some people wore is by looking at our wedding pictures. But really, even if a lot of women had worn white, it's not like they would have been able to "steal the spotlight," so to speak. Clearly, everyone knew who the bride and groom were, regardless of what we were wearing. And really, what everyone else had on just wasn't on my radar my that day! In the grand scheme of things, it just doesn't seem like that big a deal to me.

FWIW, I grew up in the NE, but now live in the South, and I've seen people wear black to weddings in both regions. Not sure about white- I'll have to keep my eyes open! However, I TOTALLY get that this is a custom and can be a gracious way of showing deference to the bride. And maybe I ought to keep that in mind next time I dress for a wedding- clearly, it matters to some brides! I had thought that it was more of an outdated tradition and that, really, no one cares all that much. Like wearing white shoes after Labor Day or something. I realize that not wearing white can be a way of showing deference to the bride. I guess I'm just kind of surprised that a bride would care what other people wear to begin with.

[newnana]

I was at one once where the mother of the groom wore a white dress. Looked like a bridal gown. EVERYONE was talking about it, and this is a pretty laid back group.

Not okay.

[BabbyO]

I once wore an all white dress to the wedding. It was knee length (so clearly not a wedding dress - at least not in this wedding) and I had the permission of the bride before hand. I was young and poor and trying to make something in my closet work.

I wouldn't do it now.

[MommytoEliana]

I guess I'm in the minority too. If someone wore a white/off-white dress that was clearly a FAR different style than any wedding dress was remotely to be, I don't see what the big deal is. If all I had was a cute ivory linen shift dress, for example, I wouldn't feel compelled to rush out for something different just for a wedding.

That said, I'm in the Midwest--our rules of etiquette are probably far more relaxed than many places.

[ilfaith]

I have a friend whose sister was maid-of-honor (and only attendant) at her small destination wedding. The bride wore a fairly simple ivory linen gown. Her sister packed a few dresses for the trip, and at the last minute decided to wear a long ivory linen dress to the wedding...yes it was simpler than the bride's (a basic sheath as opposed to the bride's fuller skirted gown with Battenburg lace), but in pictures it was difficult to tell who was the bride (hint, she was the one glaring at her sister).

[BabbyO]

I guess I'm in the minority too. If someone wore a white/off-white dress that was clearly a FAR different style than any wedding dress was remotely to be, I don't see what the big deal is. If all I had was a cute ivory linen shift dress, for example, I wouldn't feel compelled to rush out for something different just for a wedding.

That said, I'm in the Midwest--our rules of etiquette are probably far more relaxed than many places.

I wouldn't wear a white dress to a wedding now...but that is more a personal thing. I have to agree...living in the midwest, it seems to be more casual. I'm also one who really wouldn't care. There may have been white dresses at my wedding....I don't really know.