why do i have reservations about reward charts?

[chozen]

sometimes i really think a reward chart might be useful but for some reason im not so sure of them. do any of you see anything wrong with using a reward chart? and if so why. im sure there is a wrong way and a right way to use them and im not sure what the right way is.

[crl]

There is a whole Alfie Kohn, no rewards, internal motivation school of thought that disapproves of reward charts. I am not a proponent so I would be the wrong person to explain it. But I am sure someone else will do a great job! Or you could google (or visit mothering.com's forums).

Catherine

[wellyes]

Well, it is a bribe. You're (essentially) paying kids for their behavior / actions / choices. Does that mean they're bad? Of course not. They have their place. I wouldn't hesitate to use one to PT. But it would not be my first choice for most other behavioral learning. Like chores, politeness, etc.

I'm sure it depends on the kid and the circumstances. I think a reward chart is a useful option in the parenting toolbox but I wouldn't personally go there unless other options were failing me.

[niccig]

Mainly for me, we forgot to keep checking off what was done. Difficult to earn rewards when not recording it.

I know it works for some goods, families, but I don't think it'll work for us.

[Raidra]

I have read Alfie Kohn, but I'm not a real follower or anything.. and I had already formed my opinions about reward charts before reading him. :)

To me, reward charts seem very artificial. There are very few things that I'd want to bribe my children with, and I wouldn't bother with a chart for them. I think a chart takes away the 'natural consequence' aspect that I go for. For instance.. I picked up an Imaginext toy on clearance after Xmas. The kids happened to see it a few days ago and wanted to play with it. I told them that I wasn't about to give them any new toys until they start picking up after themselves better. Sure, I could have spent time and energy creating a chart to keep track of how often they clean up, but I think that takes the focus off what the problem really is.

For most other things that I've seen people use reward charts, we just don't feel like certain things need to be rewarded. To use potty training as an example.. children have to learn to use the potty at some point. I don't see the need to reward them for doing something completely normal and expected. It's like when my mother joins us for dinner.. she goes nuts praising the kids for eating their food. I just don't get it.. they're eating because they're hungry, not because they want to hear 'good job'.

I don't think reward charts are necessarily harmful, it's just not something we do.

[vludmilla]

I am not a fan of reward charts but I have used them sparingly in my professional practice. They tend to work best with younger children or those with cognitive disabilities. It is also best to use them for short periods of time. I think that some children respond better to them than others and if you do decide to use them, be sensitive to whether or not they seem to work for your child. I think that even when a reward chart could be a good idea, it can be difficult to get it right. A reward needs to be motivating for the child but that doesn't mean it needs to be or should be a big reward. Overall, I think that there are good reasons to be concerned with using reward charts but I wouldn't say that they should never be used because they have the potential to be helpful but they are not a great one-size-fits-all intervention.

[Melaine]

We have been using one with the girls but we don't do any rewards. Just the chart. They like knowing what they have to do and "checking it off" essentially. I guess it's more like a preschoolers to-do list in our house.

[icunurse]

For us, the idea is to make them half helpful and half "chore". So, we have 8 items and 3-4 are things that are important that DS *should* be doing, but might need to work on this week/month (like doing his homework without being told, no fighting with his sister). The rest are things that we feel are good helps to the household and age-appropriate, but not necessarily jobs that we would outright expect of him right now (feed the cat, take out garbage). He is able to read the chart in his room, so he is on his own to use it as a reminder and benefit from it.

[lalasmama]

We have been using one with the girls but we don't do any rewards. Just the chart. They like knowing what they have to do and "checking it off" essentially. I guess it's more like a preschoolers to-do list in our house.

More or less, that's what our's is too. It's DD's reminder of order when getting ready for school in the morning, when certain chores should be done, and, occasionally, things we are working on. Sometimes we do checks, sometimes stickers. She actually asked for me to start doing them again. Ugh, she's way more organized at 7yo than I am at 30-something!

[egoldber]

I have used them occasionally, positive only, no "back sliding" for certain things, mainly PT for younger DD and then when we removed the pacifier from daytime usage. My younger one responds very well to having a tangible, short term reward offered as a carrot for a behavioral change. My older one, not so much.

[KrisM]

I've tried them and had little success. The best one was for finishing up DS's potty training. He was trained, but too busy. So, there were stars given when he stayed dry, used the potty, etc. Lots of stars. When he had enough, he got to go to my dad's to run the trains. It worked great and 2 weeks, he was completely done.

Since then, we've tried them for chores, sleeping in your own bed, etc and it's not something that works.

[fivi2]

I did not use them at home, but we just started. Twin B's therapist recommended a variation of one for certain things and it was working, so I started a more traditional one at bedtime. It has only been a few nights, but at this point I am wondering why I waited. We had about 6 months of her fighting bedtime, not getting enough sleep, being miserable (4-5 yo). Now she stays in bed to earn her sticker. We can phase it out eventually, but for now it is the only thing that is working. (knock on wood!)