Anyone else have family that don't listen/know what you're doing

[niccig]

My MIL can remember what classes I'm taking and what I'm doing, but my parents have no clue. It's nothing age-related, I just think they can't be bothered to listen to what you say. It is frustrating to have same conversation every time we speak.

[tiapam]

Yeah, I have had that experience. Do you only talk on the phone to your parents or also email? I think if only on the phone it is easy to tune out or later forget the details of what seems like an ephemeral conversation - how is the weather, what are you doing later, etc. Also, people tend to multitask on the phone.

[KrisM]

My MIL gets very confused and remembers very little, but I think it's an age thing. She has sent me birthday cards for "granddaughter" before :).

My grandma is bad, too. I think when I'm talking to her, she's busy thinking of what she's going to say next and doesn't really listen to me. She was really surprised a couple of weeks ago that DS1 takes TKD. I know I've told her before that.

[momof2girls]

YES! My mother is always doing something else when she is on the phone with me. So, I just don't call b/c it is rude and annoying. She didn't even know what my major was for 4 yrs in college. She doesn't keep track of ANYTHING that goes on in my life simply b/c I never really have her full attention.

[fortato]

Every week I seem to have to remind my mother not to call me at 11am... that's when I leave to pick up Jack from preschool.

She acts surprised...every.single.time.

[mom2khj]

I have to repeat things I've told my mom all the time. It drives me nuts!

[elliput]

Every week I seem to have to remind my mother not to call me at 11am... that's when I leave to pick up Jack from preschool.

She acts surprised...every.single.time.

This was my DH calling when I am trying to get the kids in the car to go to therapy. DD's therapy schedule has been the same since Sept 2009. I think he finally may have figured it out.

My DH also can't be bothered to look at the calendar which I have placed in a very prominent spot. He was surprised to find out DD didn't have school last Friday. It had been written on the calendar for weeks in red. :irked:

[ellies mom]

My DH also can't be bothered to look at the calendar which I have placed in a very prominent spot. He was surprised to find out DD didn't have school last Friday. It had been written on the calendar for weeks in red. :irked:

We have this problem too. For awhile, I would hand write things in his very own calender but it didn't help. Now, we have fully linked google calenders on our computers and smartphones. That does help but he still tends to ignore everything especially when some sort of payment is due.

[hellokitty]

Yeah, it is like that with both sides of parents. Both sides are pretty self-absorbed. My oldest is 7 yrs old and neither side has caught on to the fact that nap time is always around 1pm. So, they insist on trying to visit at that time, etc., and I get aggravated that after THIS many yrs that they still act clueless. Like you said, it has nothing to do with age, just simply that they don't give a crap. And I too find it irritating that every wk I am basically telling them info that they should already know if they would bother to care. I understand your frustration.

[ha98ed14]

My MIL can remember what classes I'm taking and what I'm doing, but my parents have no clue. It's nothing age-related, I just think they can't be bothered to listen to what you say. It is frustrating to have same conversation every time we speak.

This is my SIL every time I see her. Huh? What are you doing these days? I see her every week! Really, I cannot stand her.

[chlobo]

This was my DH calling when I am trying to get the kids in the car to go to therapy. DD's therapy schedule has been the same since Sept 2009. I think he finally may have figured it out.

My DH also can't be bothered to look at the calendar which I have placed in a very prominent spot. He was surprised to find out DD didn't have school last Friday. It had been written on the calendar for weeks in red. :irked:


DH is like this too. Just this morning I had a dismissal note for DD and it mentioned her friend. He said "Oh, you're having a playdate" and I'm like "NO, she has theater" Ugh. Pay attention.

[Globetrotter]

oh yeah, I finally gave my mom my RESUME so she could refer to it to figure out "what I do/did."

[AJP]

This is my MIL. So self absorbed that she can't be bothered to listen. She asks something and is already thinking about someone else or talking about something that is all about her/her feelings/how tired she is etc that she doesn't listen to the answer! Annoying! I just keep talking over her and give the answer she asked for lol.

[niccig]

Yeah, I have had that experience. Do you only talk on the phone to your parents or also email? I think if only on the phone it is easy to tune out or later forget the details of what seems like an ephemeral conversation - how is the weather, what are you doing later, etc. Also, people tend to multitask on the phone.

We skype. I wish email was better. I sent an email last year replying to my sisters and mother about some travel plans for this year and in it I said I'm not sure what we'll be doing because I applied to go back to grad. school. Both my sisters called/emailed asking about it. Nothing from my mother. A month later I'm talking to her on the phone and again mention grad school. She was all surprised and annoyed I didn't tell her. I said I did, and her reply "oh, I must not have read that email. " I found the email and sent it to her with "this is what I sent a month ago" and I then went into more detail about grad school. Never got a reply to that message either. And of course the questions she asked yesterday were explained in that email.

I don't think she reads emails either :irked:

[niccig]

oh yeah, I finally gave my mom my RESUME so she could refer to it to figure out "what I do/did."

Good idea. I might have to resort to this. Write up exactly what's going on and give it to her to refer to as a cheat sheet.

[PunkyBoo]

My mom doesn't listen or care. She's interested in what Boo is up to, but DH, Punkin and myself, not so much. I pointed out to DH the other day how my mom knows all my sister's friends, all her kids' schedules, teachers, friends, etc... But she doesn't know any of my friends. She doesn't know any of my friends' names. She doesn't even know Punkin's teacher's name or any of his friend's names. Granted, she lives next door to my sister, which is NOT how close I'd like her to be to us... but I do wish she'd at least ask.

[momof2girls]

My mom doesn't listen or care. She's interested in what Boo is up to, but DH, Punkin and myself, not so much. I pointed out to DH the other day how my mom knows all my sister's friends, all her kids' schedules, teachers, friends, etc... But she doesn't know any of my friends. She doesn't know any of my friends' names. She doesn't even know Punkin's teacher's name or any of his friend's names. Granted, she lives next door to my sister, which is NOT how close I'd like her to be to us... but I do wish she'd at least ask.

OMG....I could have written that EXACT thing including my sis living next door to my mom!

[candaceb]

The one that's currently driving us crazy is MIL referring to DH as "papa". SIL's sort-of husband (they haven't lived together since before my 3 year old niece was born) is referred to as "papa" and he's a total loser. Part of the motivation for DH definitely not wanting to be referred to as "papa" is not being the same as our niece's father. MIL CANNOT get this straight. Every time she asks DS about his "papa" we tell her that we're saying "daddy" instead. Every time it is news to her as if she has never heard it before. I think DH is going to lose it the next time it happens. The worst part is that it always happens while we're skyping with her, which is something we're doing entirely for her benefit!

[SpaceGal]

Ugh my mother and my in-laws are totally like that. Granted I haven't ever had a heart to heart conversation with my in-laws they jsut ask the general...weather, work, kids, income...etc. My mom who you would think is my mom, doesn't know anything about my interests, likes or dislikes. All she knows is how to pick out what bothers me and nag.

[ohiomom]

The one that's currently driving us crazy is MIL referring to DH as "papa".

Wow, we have this totally in reverse. MY parents, especial DF canNOT figure out the DH is Papa here and not daddy. The use of daddy is completely offensive to DH and he thinks they are being manipulative. I just think they are being lazy and rather insensitive about it. In our case both terms are completely cultural and a major, major point of contention impeding the relationship between DH and my parents. Maybe I should get him a nametag... Ugh!