Childcare During Labor & Delivery

[MissM'sMom]

I am at 32 weeks, and we are trying to get our L&D master plan in place. We have a very curious and independent 2.5 year old, and we need to figure out our child care plan for when I start to into labor.

Unfortunately, we don't have any family nearby who could come on a moment's notice, and we have been hesitant to ask friends and neighbors, especially if things get going at 2 or 3 in the morning. We are also worried about our DD, who seems to be in a phase with "stranger danger," and gets really upset when "new" people enter the house (this is even her uncle, who she had just seen two weeks earlier, and the older girls down the street, who she sees almost every day). I am worried that even if we do find someone willing to take on the early morning call, DD will absolutely freak out if she wakes up and we aren't there.

So, what did you do if you had the same situation? I know we'll have to bite the bullet and probably ask some friends, but I am still worried about my DD and her reaction. Thanks!!

[arivecchi]

We had our nanny take care of DS1. Do you have a trusted sitter? That's what I would do. I would also hesitate to bother friends if I went into labor in the wee hours of the morning.

[ett]

Like PP said, if you have a trusted sitter that would be great. But I would not hesitate to ask a close friend or neighbor for help if need be. I would be more than happy to help out a friend in this situation, even in the middle of the night. It's a one time situation and if they had kids, they would have gone through the same themselves.

[MoJo]

We ended up asking three friends and one neighbor to be on our call list since we had never left JellyBean with a sitter. The neighbor would have stayed here in the overnight situation; we would have dropped DD at two friends' houses or had the third just meet us at the hospital. (I was using a hospital-based birth center where kids were welcome & there was a living-room style waiting room with toys etc.)

My "hour of need" ended up being at 6 p.m. and no one on my call list was available. Thankfully, the birth center waived their usual rule that the mom needs a support person and any children need a different person to be their caregiver. . . . and baby was born almost as soon as we got to the hospital. Jelly Bean watched the whole thing, and after a while went back home with DH. It was OK.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

i agree with arivecchi, would also start looking into getting a sitter ASAP. not just for childcare during the labor, but maybe for afterwards for things like your baby's pediatrician appts, etc. if you can't find a sitter, i would at least start letting your dd get comfortable with a few friends who live in town who you trust. i agree with PP that most people would be happy to help out a friend in this sort of situation.

i had to deal with similar situation just a couple weeks ago. i went into labor at 35weeks, and was off to the hospital at 3am with contractions every 3 minutes. we called our sitter and a friend who had offered to help with DS, but unfortunately we couldn't reach either one, so we ended up waking DS up and schlepping him with us to the hospital. it wasn't too horrible once he finally fell asleep in his stroller after a few hours...DH just walked him around in his stroller, gave him snacks etc. also, in the morning we were finally able to reach our sitter and she came to the hospital and was able to walk DS around in his stroller while DH could stay with me in the final stages of labor & the birth. it wasn't too bad because DS was familiar with the sitter and plus he could still see us every now and then. now that i think about it, i guess it worked out well, if we had just left in the middle of the night while he was asleep (like we had originally planned) he might have freaked out if he woke up in the morning to us not being there.

[ohsara430]

Have you thought about a doula? The doula could help either take care of your DC or be with you while DH watches your DC at the hospital. Obviously this setup would depend on hospital rules and such but it might work well. Or the doula could be at your house to watch your DC during the sleeping hours and then a friend or babysitter could take over and doula could meet you and your DH at the hospital.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I've had some friends, not especially close ones, ask if I could be on call for childcare during labor. I was always happy to be on the list of potential sitters. I have no problem with a middle of the night wake up to help and I think many people would feel like me. It's a one off, important thing. I'd just really explain to big sibling what could happen. The Care Bears have a book about a new baby (A Sister for Sam) and the parents go to the hospital at night and big sibling wakes up with g'parents being there. I am sure there are other books that address that scenario, perhaps "Baby on the Way" by Dr. Sears.

Anyway, don't hesitate to ask someone that you would be willing to do it for. Odds are if you would do it i they asked you then they will do it if you ask them. :)

Beth