Would this bother you? (preschool teacher comment)

[Jacksmommy2b]

So at dinner tonight, J (who is 4) was trying to talk over M and I and when I asked him to wait his turn to add to the conversation he replied with "I know, I know zip your mouth and throw away the key." (complete with motions)

When we asked him where he heard that, he told us that his preschool teacher said it to him when they were walking to the playground. He said it and made the motions in a way that lead me to believe it isn't the first time he's heard it.

FWIW, it is a private, religous preschool and he is in a class of 15. (and we have never had any behavioral issues with J or concerns with his teacher.)

WDYT?

[DrSally]

I don't really like that, but I also don't like "you get what you get, and don't have a fit" (which both kids have heard in preschool, but I never say).

[twowhat?]

It wouldn't bother me, esp since you have no other concerns. Every teacher has their own way of discipline, and I'd be totally OK with that. If anything, the kids probably think it's fun to zip their mouths and toss the key:) I would just emphasize at home why we take turns to speak.

eta: our girls both say "you get what you get, and don't throw a fit" which I've never heard before! But it doesn't bother me... It reminds me of that song on Yo Gabba Gabba: "You don't always get what you want. It won't help if you keep on asking!"

[Neatfreak]

I don't see what is negative or harmful about it. Am I missing something?

[SnuggleBuggles]

Doesn't bother me. It can be a good way to teach the kids to really stay quiet. They can better imagine closed mouth if they lock it up tight. At ds2's preschool the kids have to "put a bubble in their mouth" when they walk down the hall sometimes. Same sort of thing.

Beth

[Green_Tea]

When it's time to be quiet the preschool teachers at the school all three of my kids attended said, "Zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket!" with appropriate motions.

I have adopted it as my own :tongue5:.

(FWIW, they also said, "You get what you get and you don't get upset!" and I am totally on board with that as well.)

[llama8]

not offended at all. Nothing wrong with it.

[MontrealMum]

DS' teacher says this too - not his main one, the one he only has one day a week on the main one's day off. And he's started saying it at home. I know some people don't find anything wrong with it, but it just strikes me as being rude and dismissive. Actually, I find it almost akin to "shutup". It's certainly not something we say at home. I do understand the need for kids to be quiet and to learn appropriateness - if you'd met mine, you'd understand! But I don't think it needs to be so abrupt. I'd prefer "please be quiet", "wait your turn" or something similiar. Something that actually acknowledges that although they're trying to say something, that the time is inappropriate - not the child; and that if they wait, they might be able to say it at a later time. They're such parrots at this age that it's horrific trying to get rid of a word or phrase once it takes hold.

We haven't complained about it at DS' school even though this is his 2nd year with this teacher. And considering that he didn't speak much last year, being told to zip it seems doubly annoying when battling a speech delay. But we do have other concerns about this particular teacher, as do other parents, so we may be saying something regarding those. I wouldn't say anything if the "zip it" style of discipline were the only concern. In any case, I'd rather that he not have her next year. ETA: he's in a class of 8. I thought I'd add that since the OP mentioned her child's class size.

[Uno-Mom]

Could be said totally wrong! Could be totally ok. In my mind it would depend on tone of voice and situation. In your spot, I'd use all your other interactions with the teacher to make an educated guess whether she was just using a humorous line to set an appropriate rule, or whether she was mean about it.

Sprog is much too young to receive this line but if I for some reason knew one of her teachers said that to an older kid ... it wouldn't worry me. Based on a million other interactions I would believe the teacher was being warm and humorous (if slightly sarcastic) when they said it.

[DrSally]

And considering that he didn't speak much last year, being told to zip it seems doubly annoying when battling a speech delay.

Oh boy, that would steam me up!

[DrSally]

Could be said totally wrong! Could be totally ok. In my mind it would depend on tone of voice and situation. In your spot, I'd use all your other interactions with the teacher to make an educated guess whether she was just using a humorous line to set an appropriate rule, or whether she was mean about it.
... Based on a million other interactions I would believe the teacher was being warm and humorous (if slightly sarcastic) when they said it.

Very true about the tone of voice thing.
But, I don't think kids this age get sarcasm (not that the comment in OP is especially sarcastic, just an OT comment about sarcasm and young kids).

[MontrealMum]

Yes, this is why it probably bugs me more than most parents. And I do agree that all the teacher's interactions should be taken into account. In our case, they're not great and like I said, we have other concerns about her. But in others' situations - it may depend.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Doesn't bother me. It can be a good way to teach the kids to really stay quiet. They can better imagine closed mouth if they lock it up tight. At ds2's preschool the kids have to "put a bubble in their mouth" when they walk down the hall sometimes. Same sort of thing.

Beth

:yeahthat:

i don't see anything wrong with it either. as PP said, i find it it similar to the line "you get what you get and you don't get upset", which DH sometimes says to DS when he's being fussy/picky at mealtimes. and i agree with PP that it may be fun for kids to repeat the rhyme or imagine throwing a key away and thus make it more likely for them to listen.

[lhafer]

I don't necessarily find something "wrong" with it, but I believe that preschoolers can be taught to be quiet in a bit of a nicer manner.

My 5 year old talks constantly. I mean constantly making noises, sounds, talking, humming, singing, etc. Evaluations are showing potential Aspergers. I am not sure she has ever been told this particular phrasing before...she's been to full time day care, home with me, and is now in a private, church based preschool.

When the teachers want the kids to be quiet, they tell them to put a bubble in their mouth and to not let it go. She knows that this means to be quiet.

While I don't necessarily have issues with the zip it comment, i don't particularly like it either.

[KpbS]

DS1 first heard this when he was three. But his teacher (she was one who was the most experieced having taught 20 years) did not include throw away the key. That part bothers me a little but I do feel tone is really important here. If the kids use hand motions it bothers me less--it probably is fun like a PP mentioned. :shrug:

[JTsMom]

When I've seen teachers use this, it hasn't been in a rude way at all. It's usually said in a nice tone, to the entire class, as an activity is about to begin- an assembly, walking down the hall, when important instructions are about to be given, etc. I've never heard it used as, "Johnny, shut up.", kwim? The kids usually enjoy those sayings b/c they're so catchy. If I heard it used as "Zip it.", I'd have a major problem with it.

[mommylamb]

I guess I see this differently than the majority of posters. Zip it and throw away the key would bother me too. It seems a lot worse than zip it, lock it and throw it in your pocket. It seems very disrespectful of the kids. Like- you should never talk again, instead of making it clear that now is not an appropriate time to talk. I feel very strongly about teaching my child to respect me, in part by speaking respectfully to my child, so zip it seems harsh and unnecessary. As an adult, I can't imagine someone saying that to me, and I don't think it's right to say to a kid either. Not sure it would be a big deal in absence of other concerns, but I might say something about it.

[ohsara430]

It wouldn't really bother me, but I don't like it either. I think there are better phrases to use. The "zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket" is better since it basically says save it for later. One of our schools also uses hand raising to get the kids quiet. They tell the kids to imagine there's a string attached to their hand and the bottom of their chin. When they raise their hand the string is being pulled tight so they can't talk. The teachers then ask for everyone to be quiet and the teacher raises their hand and waits for the students to do so. Once everyone is quiet they put their hands down and proceed with whatever they were doing.

I think the "zip it...." phrase bothers me less if it's to a group of students. If it were aimed at one students then I think it's less appropriate and things like "no talking," "wait your turn," "you need to be quiet," etc are better.

[Cuckoomamma]

Really don't like the throw away the key part.

[infomama]

I can see how it would bother you if that isn't your family's normal choice of words. Sometimes phrases can seem harsh just for that reason alone. We would never say that to our dd but I don't think it would bother me enough to say anything to the teacher.

[wellyes]

It doesn't bother me in terms of rudeness. It's kinda a rude thing to say, but obviously meat humorously. Kid humor is not adult humor.... they respond to silliness. Like dumb slapstick that makes me roll my eyes (thinking of the Clifford cartoon which makes me daughter laugh hysterically).

The only thing it pinged for me is that adults should never tell kids to keep secrets from their parents, ever ever. But this isn't exactly the same. And preschool teachers obviously have to have the ability to shush the kids.

[n2ou]

Think of the non-auditory learner - This might be a fun way to get a whole class (not sure about OP class size, but my ds's K class has 26 kids) to transition. Little hands and arms come back to each child and the auditory&tactile approach gets the majority on board to be quiet to listen to the new instructions, line up for specials etc. For the non-auditory learners this is a good visual.

[JamiMac]

I wouldn't be in the least bit offended. My kids preschool told them to "put a bubble in their mouth". It's much, much better than shut up or even quit talking, and it gets the point across to them imo.

[lalasmama]

When it's time to be quiet the preschool teachers at the school all three of my kids attended said, "Zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket!" with appropriate motions.

I have adopted it as my own :tongue5:.

(FWIW, they also said, "You get what you get and you don't get upset!" and I am totally on board with that as well.)

:yeahthat:

DD went to a private Christian preschool. When she came home with the "zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket" I wasn't pleased. But it grew on me. And now when DD and DNiece are driving me bonkers with their "must tell you every.little.thing when you are trying to talk to Auntie", I use the saying. It works! And the kids don't take it as being mean. Just a silly reminder that it's quiet time!

"You get what you get and you don't throw a fit" came from the same place. And I use it too. I can't imagine trying to keep 15 preschoolers happy while passing out treats and hearing little Sally say "Suzy has a pink one, I want pink too!" and then "Monica has red, I want red! No I HATE YUCKY BOOGER GREEN! I WANT RED! I WANT PINK!" DD sees a quarter machine, and wants to best little toy in there, and "you get what you get, you don't throw a fit" helps her remember that she doesn't always get her choice, and she needs to be happy that she's getting something.

[traciann]

I am a substitute teacher right now and I think I have heard every phrase out there. The main point is to get kids to walk silently in the hall. It seems like an easy thing to do, but trust me its hard with kinders through 3rd graders! I highly doubt that the teacher means it in an ugly way, and I know that kids do not take it literally that they cannot talk once they get to their location. (ie throw away the key) I wouldn't take it seriously at all.

[MontrealMum]

I know that kids do not take it literally that they cannot talk once they get to their location. (ie throw away the key) I wouldn't take it seriously at all.

Maybe yours don't, but I wouldn't make that assumption about all kids. My DS' main teacher was on vacation for a week and this "zip it" teacher was the sub. He came home in his accident clothes 3 times that week because he'd had an accident during naptime. One day he came home in a sweater (no shirt) and pants w/o undies because he'd managed to go thru two sets.

It's gotten so bad with "accidents" on her normal day that I come to expect that it's a given that he'll have had an accident. Last year, we tried giving her pullups to put on him on her days just to cut down on the darned laundry, but she kept forgetting. I looked at the hooks on the wall the last time she worked and 3 out of 8 kids - and that's just the kids who were left by the time I got there, maybe there were more - had large plastic bags full of wet stuff. I've talked to other parents, and their kids are coming home with wet things most days she works as well. Why is this? She pulls this zip it crap, so they don't feel that they can tell her when they have to go, and then most of them leak during naptime which is directly after lunch. When they NEVER leak for the regular teacher. Every kid in that room has been fully PTed for over a year. It was a requirement for moving to the room.

Who knows what else they're not telling her, but I'm hearing a lot about "E hit me", "A took my truck" etc. only on the days she works and when I ask if DS told the teacher he just looks at the floor and says no.

I want my child to feel that he can tell me, or any trusted adult, anything. It's my job to teach him to go to adults if he's being hurt or bullied, if he has a difference of opinion with another kid that he can't handle himself, or if he has a pressing issue like needing to use the bathroom. And this is seriously undermining my efforts.

[wimama]

When it's time to be quiet the preschool teachers at the school all three of my kids attended said, "Zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket!" with appropriate motions.

I have adopted it as my own :tongue5:.

(FWIW, they also said, "You get what you get and you don't get upset!" and I am totally on board with that as well.)


When I've seen teachers use this, it hasn't been in a rude way at all. It's usually said in a nice tone, to the entire class, as an activity is about to begin- an assembly, walking down the hall, when important instructions are about to be given, etc. I've never heard it used as, "Johnny, shut up.", kwim? The kids usually enjoy those sayings b/c they're so catchy. If I heard it used as "Zip it.", I'd have a major problem with it.

:yeahthat: My DS K4 teacher uses the Zip it, Lock it and put it in your pocket." line on the class. From what I understand it isn't used to single out any one child. She says it when it is important that she has the whole classes attention and she needs them to be quiet. Like when we were leaving to take a walk to the neighborhood firehouse. The kids needed to hear what the adult chaperones and their teacher were telling them to do. I would have an issue with this being used to single out a particular child and I don't care for the throw away the key version. My DS also learned the "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit" in daycare. Both sayings don't really bother me if used sparingly. Kids seem to respond to catchy sayings, more so than a "SHH, it's time to be quiet."

My all time favorite daycare saying was "Put your listening ears on" or "Where did your listening ears go". I do prefer this to the "Zip it" line. Because, who hasn't considered the possibility that their child's ears have fallen off because they obviously are not listening to you. All the kids loved this saying and would respond by putting their hands up to their ears to put their ears back on. It was too cute!

[traciann]

Maybe yours don't, but I wouldn't make that assumption about all kids. My DS' main teacher was on vacation for a week and this "zip it" teacher was the sub. He came home in his accident clothes 3 times that week because he'd had an accident during naptime. One day he came home in a sweater (no shirt) and pants w/o undies because he'd managed to go thru two sets.

It's gotten so bad with "accidents" on her normal day that I come to expect that it's a given that he'll have had an accident. Last year, we tried giving her pullups to put on him on her days just to cut down on the darned laundry, but she kept forgetting. I looked at the hooks on the wall the last time she worked and 3 out of 8 kids - and that's just the kids who were left by the time I got there, maybe there were more - had large plastic bags full of wet stuff. I've talked to other parents, and their kids are coming home with wet things most days she works as well. Why is this? She pulls this zip it crap, so they don't feel that they can tell her when they have to go, and then most of them leak during naptime which is directly after lunch. When they NEVER leak for the regular teacher. Every kid in that room has been fully PTed for over a year. It was a requirement for moving to the room.

Who knows what else they're not telling her, but I'm hearing a lot about "E hit me", "A took my truck" etc. only on the days she works and when I ask if DS told the teacher he just looks at the floor and says no.

I want my child to feel that he can tell me, or any trusted adult, anything. It's my job to teach him to go to adults if he's being hurt or bullied, if he has a difference of opinion with another kid that he can't handle himself, or if he has a pressing issue like needing to use the bathroom. And this is seriously undermining my efforts.

I was referring to a zip it line during transitions from a location (which I never use). It sounds like the sub they are using doesn't know how to manage a classroom. If that many students are having accidents, I would speak to the director.

[twowhat?]

with wet things most days she works as well. Why is this? She pulls this zip it crap, so they don't feel that they can tell her when they have to go, and then most of them leak during naptime which is directly after lunch. When they NEVER leak for the regular teacher. Every kid in that room has been fully PTed for over a year. It was a requirement for moving to the room.

Who knows what else they're not telling her, but I'm hearing a lot about "E hit me", "A took my truck" etc. only on the days she works and when I ask if DS told the teacher he just looks at the floor and says no.


Wow, it sounds like this sub has issues that go way beyond using "zip it..." types of lines (which IMO isn't an issue in and of itself)... I'm sure other parents have to have complained? Definitely worth a call to the director - I wouldn't want a sub like this in our kids' classroom. Sounds like none of the kids are comfortable with her for lots of reasons - I feel bad for your DS on the days she is there!

[DrSally]

Wow, it sounds like this sub has issues that go way beyond using "zip it..." types of lines (which IMO isn't an issue in and of itself)... I'm sure other parents have to have complained? Definitely worth a call to the director - I wouldn't want a sub like this in our kids' classroom. Sounds like none of the kids are comfortable with her for lots of reasons - I feel bad for your DS on the days she is there!

:yeahthat: That's terrible.