I think I'm doing this right...?

[HIU8]

Ok, for DD's birthday we are inviting the whole class. This includes a little girl in the class who left DD out and invited all the other girls. Since we said whole class she is included. Here is my question...This little girl is a twin. Her twin brother is in another class. Do we invite her twin brother as well? Most parents have been doing that (or the twins parents have just been bringing him along anyway). It is the right thing to do to just include the twin brother, right?

[Globetrotter]

This has come up before. IMO, when they are little and if it's a big "invite the whole class" party, you should invite both twins. However, it seems this is something they have to adjust to eventually so I don't think it's a must.. it's one of the hard things about being a twin!

Are you inviting other siblings? If not, you need to specify that you cannot accomodate siblings due to space limitations but send a private message to the twins' parents (or talk to them) and make an exception for the brother.

[AnnieW625]

I would address her invitation to both of the twins. In DD1's class I only invited the girls because I didn't want a party with potentially 30 kids (16 kids from DD1's preschool (including the 9 other boys), plus 8 to 10 other kids from daycare), but when the mom with a twin boy in the same class RSVP'd I emailed her back and told her that she could bring boy twin if she needed to. He ended up not coming, but I at least wanted to give her the option.

[HIU8]

Thanks.

[janeybwild]

I would address her invitation to both of the twins. I

I would not invite a sibling from another class just because they were twins,. If you are friends with both kids, then invite them both, but not out of any sense of obligation.

[randomkid]

I would not invite a sibling from another class just because they were twins,. If you are friends with both kids, then invite them both, but not out of any sense of obligation.

:yeahthat: Why is it different inviting a twin sibling vs any other sibling? As twins grow up, they will have different friends. It doesn't make sense to me to invite a sibling just because they are a twin, unless your DC is friends with both children.

[HIU8]

DD is not friends with both--either really. The one twin (the girl J) in DD's class invited all the girls in the class to her party-except DD. We found out afterwards by accident (one of the mom's asked why DD was not there). However, since we are doing entire class we are inviting this girl. Her twin brother has been to all the parties of the kids in DD's class (Have no idea if he is invited of is just brought). DD, though, barely knows his name. I asked one of the other moms and she looked at me like I had 2 heads---of course invite A, he is J's twin for heaven's sake (her words to me).

[sidmand]

I really don't think you need to invite the twin either. Especially if I don't know the child well, I might not even know they had a twin—YKWIM?

But if that's the way it's always been done and it would cause more problems than it's worth, I think you need to make that call. But in most circles I don't think you need to invite the twin. Like someone said, what's the difference between a twin in another class and a sibling?

[infomama]

I would not invite a sibling from another class just because they were twins,. If you are friends with both kids, then invite them both, but not out of any sense of obligation.
:yeahthat:

[minnie-zb]

DD is not friends with both--either really. The one twin (the girl J) in DD's class invited all the girls in the class to her party-except DD. We found out afterwards by accident (one of the mom's asked why DD was not there). However, since we are doing entire class we are inviting this girl. Her twin brother has been to all the parties of the kids in DD's class (Have no idea if he is invited of is just brought). DD, though, barely knows his name. I asked one of the other moms and she looked at me like I had 2 heads---of course invite A, he is J's twin for heaven's sake (her words to me).

Weird. I see no reason why you would need to invite him or why he would want to come: it is a girly party! I'm in the don't invite camp.

[HIU8]

I don't see a difference either. But, I get the feeling that these parents lobby for both to be invited to things since they are always both there.

[WolfpackMom]

I don't see a difference either. But, I get the feeling that these parents lobby for both to be invited to things since they are always both there.

Then just invite them both. If youre inviting the entire class anyway I dont think its a big deal to have one more kid, I doubt others will care because any siblings of other classmates aren't in the same grade and aren't twins. A lot of people treat twins as a package deal (whether they should or not). I would just invite him and be done with it rather than having all this worry over a birthday party. You dont risk offending anyone by inviting him, but you do risk offending them if you dont so....

[minnie-zb]

I don't see a difference either. But, I get the feeling that these parents lobby for both to be invited to things since they are always both there.

Live dangerously: just invite her and see what happens. I'm betting they rsvp no. Or they will ask if they can bring him. In which case I'd say it is all girls, but he's welcome to come. I guess I'm feeling sassy today.

ETA: I'm sorry, I misread. I thought you were only inviting the girls. Oops. I need the bag over my head.

[HIU8]

Thanks, I figured I should just invite him and be done with it. Just double checking as it's actually our first twin encounter/issue at our preschool (there are other sets but they are in the 4's and 2's so we have not had this come up for us yet).

[veronica]

As a soon to be mom of twins, I would not expect both to be invited, if only one was in the class. I am striving that I treat, and other's treat, my twins as individuals and would never be offended if only one twin was invited, in your circumstance.

As of right now, DD and DS are so close in age, that parents have offered to have DS come to, but we have never brought him to any of DD's events anyway.

And..I'm sorry that your DD was not invited to her bday in the first place. DD's PreK class clearly states in their policy that if invites go out, you must either invite the entire same sex as your chile or the entire class, whichever you choose.