New motherhood questions

[mackmama]

A friend and I were talking about babies and new motherhood. We also had some random questions, so I thought it'd be fun to post them here.

1) What are your best tips to soothe a crying baby?

2) For SAHMs: Does your SO/spouse act as "relief duty" after you've had a full day with baby?

3) When you need to go to dentist, doctor, or other appointments - do you take baby with you? Do you hold baby during the appts? If not, what do you do if baby starts fussing?

4) SAHMs who are first-time moms: What did your day typically look like (be specific) when baby was 2-4mo?

5) How involved is your SO/spouse in taking care of baby?

6) Was there *one* "new motherhood" book that was especially helpful to you? (any type - serious, funny, educational, etc)

7) For moms who went back to work: How old was baby when you returned to work, and who took care of baby?

[Smillow]

1) Nursing.

2) No.

3) Yes, yes, fortunately he was very good during those times.

4) At 2 months DS had just stopped screaming through the night, so I was still in survival mode. He nursed round the clock still, but at night he would nurse & then go back to sleep (as opposed to just screaming if he wasn't nursing from 11 pm to 5 am). I don't really remember beyond that.

5) He changed diapers and fretted excessively :rolleyes:

6) Happiest Baby on the Block (DVD)

7) n/a

[SnuggleBuggles]

1. Ditto pp- nurse! 2nd best- go for a walk.

2. Yes, my dh would take over.

3. I'd schedule appts for when dh could watch the baby. One appointment I had to take ds2 and eventually one of the nurses took him for a walk. I guess there have been a few appointments over the years that I have had to take a baby but I always try my best to avoid it! And, no, I did not hold the baby during the appointments. Except for that one time the nurse helped it, fussing has been a non issue.

4. Sorry! Too long ago! I did write it down somewhere though. I love being able to refer back to it! Especially after ds2 was born and the differences in the day were really pronounced with a 2nd!

5. He did everything except breastfeed! He was a fantastic help. Often I would finish nursing and hand the baby off for diapers, baths...

6. "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears.

7. n/a

beth

[crl]

1. Hold baby and walk around talking in a calm voice. That was the most likely to work with both my kids, assuming they had been fed and weren't wet/poopy.

2. Eh, dh went back to work right away. He helped when he could. And my parents came for a bit.

3. Never took my kids with me to my appointment except when I was realky sick once and got a same day appointment. I kept ds in the ergo and the nurse practitioner worked around him. (So nice.) Otherwise, I hire sitters.

4. Ds was adopted at 13.5 months. With dd I had ds (age 7) to take care of so our days were structured around him. Get up and feed and change baby in between helping ds get ready for school. Walk ds to the bus. Dd often napped then. She napped erratically throughout the day and I either slept when she did or did chores. We picked ds up at about 4 pm and walked home. She would stay in the pikkolo and we would all hang out outside playing with the neighbors. Dinner was awful because she would be screaming and imwould be trying to get food on the table for ds. We often went for an evening walk with dd in the stroller as it calmed her and then ds and I could at least talk.

5. Dh has always been great with the kids when he is home. He just works a lot.

6. Sorry no recommendations.

Catherine

[sadie427]

Please don't take your baby or small child to your adult doctor or dentist appointment unless it's a true emergency. It's disrespectful of their time, possibly dangerous if the child is mobile, and can get in the way of your care.

[alexmommy]

1) What are your best tips to soothe a crying baby?
nursing, singing, rocking, hold them tummy-down on your arm while walking, check to see if they are not too hot or too cold

2) For SAHMs: Does your SO/spouse act as "relief duty" after you've had a full day with baby?
yes, DH is awesome. After supper is Daddy & baby time, I do dishes then have me time until baby's bedtime.

3) When you need to go to dentist, doctor, or other appointments - do you take baby with you? Do you hold baby during the appts? If not, what do you do if baby starts fussing?
I try not to. DH's work has a liberal sick leave policy, he can take off work to watch DS when I have a dr appt. When I've had to take DS alone, I schedule the appointment during a good time (not meal time or nap time), strap him in a stroller and bring plenty of food and entertainment for him, if he fusses (usually not, he's a pretty laidback little guy) I distract him with food, entertainment or point out something interesting to him in the office. When DS was 6 weeks old I had to take him alone to my b/gyn follow-up. Didn't have a stroller then, so I front-carried him in my Ergo. It actually worked out okay. One of the nurses was happy to hold him when they weighed me. :)


4) SAHMs who are first-time moms: What did your day typically look like (be specific) when baby was 2-4mo?
It's been awhile. Lots of nursing, diaper changing, and doing household stuff when I could. I didn't get out much, except for quick grocery store trips and the occasional mommy group or library story time. DS was not sleeping through the night.

5) How involved is your SO/spouse in taking care of baby?
Very. I research all baby-related stuff and report (and make a lot of those decisions), but DH bathes DS, changes diapers when he is home, plays a lot with him, does most of the bedtime routine. DH is awesome with him.


6) Was there *one* "new motherhood" book that was especially helpful to you? (any type - serious, funny, educational, etc)
educational--Baby 411, funny--Diaper Diaries (I read this while nursing DS and it totally cracked me up)

7) For moms who went back to work: How old was baby when you returned to work, and who took care of baby?
n/a

[american_mama]

>> 1) What are your best tips to soothe a crying baby?
Essentially, watch the DVD "Happiest Baby on the Block." Swaddle the baby, make shushing sounds, sway/swing/bounce the baby. He has two others - suck (nurse or give pacifier) and one other, but the first three were the most important for me. Loud white noise is also important. For my third child, at night, we put him in a bouncy seat at night facing us, with us facing each other or the TV with lights on low, and would bounce the seat with our foot while talking or watching TV. It was awesome - quality couple time or relaxation time while simultaneously putting the baby to sleep.


>> 2) For SAHMs: Does your SO/spouse act as "relief duty" after you've had a full day with baby?
If I was being positive, I'd say "he did a little." If I was being negative, I'd say "he only did a little" becuase honestly, what he did never seemed like anything remotely enough. And he has no longevity; 15 minutes of holding the baby, usually while circling around me and thus giving me little mental break, and he'd want to do something else.


>> 3) When you need to go to dentist, doctor, or other appointments - do you take baby with you? Do you hold baby during the appts? If not, what do you do if baby starts fussing?
Sometimes my husband could come home from work to take care of the baby, but I usually took the baby with me and left him or her in the stroller or car seat. If they fussed, the doctor would speed up or the dentist would usually ask the receptionist to take the baby. I switched to that dentist for permanent care because of that. Also, as I had more children and got more mom friends and babysitters, I did sometimes ask them to watch my kids. It sucks to pay a babysitter because you have to get a cavity filled, but I've done it.

>> 4) SAHMs who are first-time moms: What did your day typically look like (be specific) when baby was 2-4mo?
Don't remember. But I do remember often feeling like I was the only one doing X (sleeping late was my big thing, or putting the baby to bed so late at night). I also constantly wondered what other mothers do - were they maintaining a great schedule, religiously burping their child after every feeding whereas I was not, etc. Those feelings of comparing myself to other moms have really diminished over the years. More and more, I started gauging what I was doing by whether it worked for us or not and I stopped thinking there was a right way to do things, if only I could figure it out from others (while carefully hiding what I thought were all my weaknesses). It helps to do a lot of self-talk about what is going well, what your preferences are, the certainty that others have their weaknesses too (trust me, they do, even if you can't see them) and to stay away from people or conversations that make you doubt yourself.


>> 5) How involved is your SO/spouse in taking care of baby?
Not as much as I wanted, hoped, or expected. But not terrible either, and more than my dad was or his dad was.

>> 6) Was there *one* "new motherhood" book that was especially helpful to you?
For fun, during pregnancy, I laughed and laughed at "Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy and Birth" despite it not being my philosophical bent at all. Read "Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth" in the hospital after DD2 was born and loved it; great for pregnancy. For the soothing techniques, I think babies should be born holding "Happiest Baby on the Block" in their hands. I can only think of two other mothering/infant care books I read, both of which were ok, but it's the above three that stand out.

[niccig]

1) nursing, rocking

2) DH didn't get home until DS was already asleep, so he did the mornings from about 5am and I got to sleep until he left for work, about 9am.

3) Depended on the appointment. I had some where I knew it would be quick in and out. Otherwise, got a sitter.

4) We were dealing with reflux, so a lot of me holding him and praying he would sleep. Loved my carriers.

5) He was very involved when home. Problem is, not always home to help.

6) http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023 told you what could reasonable expect them to sleep at certain ages...helped set realistic expectations for STTN etc. Any book that tells you what is developmentally appropriate so you have realistic expectations of their behaviour.

7) n/a

[maestramommy]

1) What are your best tips to soothe a crying baby?
Swaddling, holding, nursing, swing, take your pic:loveeyes:

2) For SAHMs: Does your SO/spouse act as "relief duty" after you've had a full day with baby?
Yes

3) When you need to go to dentist, doctor, or other appointments - do you take baby with you? Do you hold baby during the appts? If not, what do you do if baby starts fussing?
When I was a new mom, I always took the baby with me. It was more doable back then,.

4) SAHMs who are first-time moms: What did your day typically look like (be specific) when baby was 2-4mo?
It was pretty fragmented. Mostly involved nursing, changing, watching her, changing, nursing to sleep. But not scheduled. If she was napping I was getting something done.

5) How involved is your SO/spouse in taking care of baby?
As involved as one can be for someone that WOH FT

6) Was there *one* "new motherhood" book that was especially helpful to you? (any type - serious, funny, educational, etc)
Mommy Mantras. I didn't get it as a new mom, but I would highly recommended. It was a mixture of serious and funny, mostly empathetic.

[smiles33]

Since no WOHM have replied,i thought I would chime in.

1) nursing! Worked in almost every situation.

2) n/a

3) nope, I scheduled when DDs were at daycare or DH/MIL could watch.

4) n/a

5) DH is a very hands-on dad and better at soothing both girls (I always resorted to nursing).

6)none

7). DD1 was 4 months and DD2 was 3 months. I missed my job with both girls and was happy to return to work, though o f course I missed them.

[jjjo1112]

1) What are your best tips to soothe a crying baby?
Nursing and swaddling

2) For SAHMs: Does your SO/spouse act as "relief duty" after you've had a full day with baby?
Absolutely - With my first, as soon as DH would walk in the door, I passed the baby to him. Then I was able to take a shower, change my clothes, eat something- things that are hard to do the first few weeks of having your first baby :)

3) When you need to go to dentist, doctor, or other appointments - do you take baby with you? Do you hold baby during the appts? If not, what do you do if baby starts fussing?
I only took the baby with me if my mom or DH was coming along to stay out in the waiting room. Mostly that only happened until the baby was old enough to take a bottle of pumped milk and then I went by myself.

4) SAHMs who are first-time moms: What did your day typically look like (be specific) when baby was 2-4mo? Those first few months consisted of lots of nursing :) We used to get out and do things too. Every tuesday we went to a baby and mom movie- it was awesome, you could nurse and didn't have to worry if the baby was crying plus you met other moms. One morning I went to a breastfeeding support group and another morning I went to a playgroup for infants 0-6 months. I met some of my mom friends that way and even though our first borns are now 5.5, we still get together for a mom's night once a month.

5) How involved is your SO/spouse in taking care of baby? Usually I do all of the night time feedings since I was nursing. At first we tried, I nursed then he changed the diaper and burped the baby, but it seemed silly to wake him up for that since :) DH is awesome and very involved in all other aspects of parenting although I tend to make most of the decisions on things like which pedi, breastfeeding, when to introduce what foods, etc but I think that's because I am a labor/delivery and NICU nurse and DH feels like I'm more informed.

6) Was there *one* "new motherhood" book that was especially helpful to you? (any type - serious, funny, educational, etc)
Absolutely - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child was hands down the best book - it broke down sleep cycles and nap cycles by age and really helped me get my kids sleeping nicely. As it is my 5 yo, 4yo and 2yo still nap for 2 hours daily and go to bed between 6:30 and 7:30. It is so nice to have kids that have predicatable sleep patterns because you can actually plan to get things done or even better put them to bed at night and have the whole evening to yourself :)

7) For moms who went back to work: How old was baby when you returned to work, and who took care of baby?
My kids were all between 6months and 12months when I went back to work part-time. My mom or MIL watched them. I work the evening shift so I leave at 2:30pm and DH gets home at 5:30pm so it's only a few hours.

HTH, Jackie

[alirebco]

Please don't take your baby or small child to your adult doctor or dentist appointment unless it's a true emergency. It's disrespectful of their time, possibly dangerous if the child is mobile, and can get in the way of your care.

Um, I never would have been able to go to the doctor for myself then until DS was 2 since I didn't have anyone to watch him. When he was a small baby, he was obviously not mobile and so would either be in his carseat or stroller. I would hold him if he was fussy but it would never interfere with my care or would be considered dangerous.

[lmh2402]

1. ditto all pps that suggest nursing. and the HBOtB tips really worked too. and/or being held in a carrier upright against my chest...and moving/walking/walking/walking.

2. yes. sort of. he tried.

3. i preferred to not take him - i would try to schedule for when DH or my mom could stay with him, but sometimes he had to come. and in those instances, i would hope he wouldn't fuss if he had to stay in the stroller.

4. i really can't recall. i was a very stressed out new mom and he was not an easy baby with severe reflux for months and months and months. i really feel like the first 6 months of his life were survival mode.

5. eh. he followed directions if they were very specific and he wasn't on his own for long periods of time

6. happiest baby on the block

7. i'm answering for SAHM and working b/c i went back two days a week when DS was 12 weeks - my mom was with him both days that i worked until we moved this past sept. now a nanny is here one day and my mom is here one day


Please don't take your baby or small child to your adult doctor or dentist appointment unless it's a true emergency. It's disrespectful of their time, possibly dangerous if the child is mobile, and can get in the way of your care.

not trying to be nasty or snide, but this whole statement really rubs me the wrong way. particularly the bolded part.

[maestramommy]

Please don't take your baby or small child to your adult doctor or dentist appointment unless it's a true emergency. It's disrespectful of their time, possibly dangerous if the child is mobile, and can get in the way of your care.

what did you do when you had a dental or medical appt?

For myself, I didn't have any sitters I was using. Dora stayed in the stroller. I remember taking her to my first prenatal appts when I was preggo with Arwyn. My OB chatted with me while she was opening and closing cabinets. He didn't care, he was awesome. Later in the pregnancy I did start leaving Dora with a friend who was a sitter. I think I only did that when I had my u/s. For the rest it didn't seem necessary.

I'm sure many of us would've liked to not bring our babies/toddlers to appt, but not everyone has an option. And I've never met a doc who had a problem with it, unless it was clearly stated in their office policies, like the neonatologist, whose office specifically told me so when I made the appt.

[Melaine]

Please don't take your baby or small child to your adult doctor or dentist appointment unless it's a true emergency. It's disrespectful of their time, possibly dangerous if the child is mobile, and can get in the way of your care.

Are you volunteering to babysit?

Some of us SAHMs do not have childcare options and have no choice but to bring our kids to some or all doctor and dentist appointments. I don't have family in town, and my husband cannot take time off of work for less than an emergency. It isn't disrespectful of their time, IMO, because I am paying for their time (and paying dearly, I might add). It isn't dangerous if you keep them safe as you should in any public setting, and it won't get in the way of your care if the medical staff is professional and considerate.

Sorry, but this post really rubbed me the wrong way.

ETA: Didn't realize others had responded. Didn't mean to create a pile-on, I had not read previous posters.

[bubbaray]

1) What are your best tips to soothe a crying baby? Nursing and swaddling. Dr. Karps Happiest Baby on the Block techniques.

2) For SAHMs: Does your SO/spouse act as "relief duty" after you've had a full day with baby? Kinda.

3) When you need to go to dentist, doctor, or other appointments - do you take baby with you? Do you hold baby during the appts? If not, what do you do if baby starts fussing? DH would often meet me there and take the baby.

4) SAHMs who are first-time moms: What did your day typically look like (be specific) when baby was 2-4mo? Can't remember -- deleted that time from the memory banks!

5) How involved is your SO/spouse in taking care of baby? Pretty involved when he was home. I EBFd both and both refused bottles, but everything else he did help with.

6) Was there *one* "new motherhood" book that was especially helpful to you? (any type - serious, funny, educational, etc) Dr. Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block book AND DVD.

7) For moms who went back to work: How old was baby when you returned to work, and who took care of baby? 13months for DD#1, 12 months for DD#2.

[bubbaray]

Please don't take your baby or small child to your adult doctor or dentist appointment unless it's a true emergency. It's disrespectful of their time, possibly dangerous if the child is mobile, and can get in the way of your care.


This attitude is completely unrealistic for MANY parents. Exactly WHO is to look after the baby at my well-mommy visits (which, BTW, were also well-baby visits)?? What about my every-6m dental cleaning?? I really don't think a 2mo baby will "get in the way of my care". A 2yo and a pap test, that's gonna be a challenge, but really. OP's child is apparently between 2-4mo. Very portable and easy to deal with.

[sadie427]

Sorry if I upset people. I feel strongly about this for a few reasons, primarily:

1) A toddler was killed in our area at their parent's physical therapy appointment due to a tragic accident. Not going to post more details.

2) As a medical provider, this has sometimes been problematic. Again, not going to post details, but at the very least it can extend the appointment, taking time from other patients, and at the worst can be dangerous.

I get babysitters for medical appointments, or have a friend or my husband watch the child.

[bubbaray]

I get babysitters for medical appointments, or have a friend or my husband watch the child.


How nice for you. We didn't find a babysitter until my oldest was FIVE and my youngest was 3. We have no family to look after our children. And, daycare doesn't start until 1y of age here. There were just some times that my DH couldn't take off work and I still had appts.

So, you're telling me that it would be preferable to go without medical and dental care (including the post-partum period) for five years? I am baffled that a medical practitioner would be OK with that.

[ohsara430]

1) What are your best tips to soothe a crying baby? We like to call it "baby at the club", we held DD and just gently bounced from side to side - hard to explain but think of bouncing with a slight bend of the knee and back up.

2) For SAHMs: Does your SO/spouse act as "relief duty" after you've had a full day with baby? At the 2-4 month stage definitely, although DH was working out of state 4 days/wk but when he was home, this mama needed a break.

3) When you need to go to dentist, doctor, or other appointments - do you take baby with you? Do you hold baby during the appts? If not, what do you do if baby starts fussing? For the first 6 months I took her with me, I never had a care provider seem put out by it. My GP actually loved it that I brought DD, he liked checking up on her at the same time and understood that as a BFing mama DD could need me at any time those early months. She stayed in her stroller during the appointment unless she was getting fussy and I would hold her. When I can I try to leave her with DH but that's not always practical and where we are now we don't have family near us so if she has to come with she has to and I don't feel bad about it. I wouldn't take her a dentist appointment because of the time involved in a cleaning and picked a dentist who specifically had evening hours for this reason.

4) SAHMs who are first-time moms: What did your day typically look like (be specific) when baby was 2-4mo? Gosh I was totally in survival mode at that point because DD was severely colicky. I always BF her at 7am and that's how we started our day. She usually went to bed around 10pm if I remember correctly. I tried to sleep when she slept. I spent most of my time trying to soothe her crying to no avail and BF her. It was rough.

5) How involved is your SO/spouse in taking care of baby? DH is very involved. He always has been. I EBF for the 12 months and while he couldn't feed her he always brought me a glass of water or a snack - per our doulas recommendation. When he was home he would hold DD so I could rest or have a little time to myself and still does. Now he gives DD her bath at night and often puts her to bed. He really likes having some special daddy/daughter time.

6) Was there *one* "new motherhood" book that was especially helpful to you? (any type - serious, funny, educational, etc) We liked the Happiest baby on the block DVD. I'm not into books, I liked our birthing class and there's a birthing class on DVD available through Netflix that was pretty good/informative also.

7) For moms who went back to work: How old was baby when you returned to work, and who took care of baby? NA

[kijip]

How nice for you. We didn't find a babysitter until my oldest was FIVE and my youngest was 3. We have no family to look after our children. And, daycare doesn't start until 1y of age here. There were just some times that my DH couldn't take off work and I still had appts.



I get disagreeing, but I don't get the anger. The fact that you chose not to find a sitter till your kids were older does not mean anything about Sadie427's ability or commitment to get a sitter or other care.

For me, I generally don't take my kids to my doctor's appointments, except for my post birth check ups and occasionally while nursing at a counseling appointment for ppd. Frankly, especially in the toddler stage, I can't see my kids being vaguely containable. I can totally see myself needing to spring of the exam table (wearing lordy knows what!) to run after a child into the hallway. Not wanting to run down a hallway in an exam gown, I stick to appts that my spouse is available for. Most massage and spa places have no kids rules, I can't imagine why it would be any easier to handle kids in a medical office. I suppose my only variation on this is when they are lumps in the sling or ergo and the appointment does not require putting them down. I had to take my youngest to a number of my mom's appointments, but he was immobile at this point and of course there were usually 1-3 adults besides my mom at these appointments, so baby would usually be clear out of the way in the hall.

Also, most of the time I go to the doctor there are sick people in the waiting room. I would just as soon not take my kids there unless there was no other option.

[TxCat]

1) Nursing or going outside - I think the change in scenery always helped DD calm down.

2) I was on maternity leave for 3 months and during that time, DH would usually try to "relieve" me when he came home from work, but often it just wasn't practical, ie, if the baby needed to nurse.

3) I never took the baby with me. One of the following people watched DD during the early months for appointments: DH, MIL, DD's god-mother. Now we have a nanny. However, my OB told me specifically that it is never a problem to bring the baby to the appt. if necessary.

4) I'll answer for when I was on maternity leave.
DD was still only sleeping in 2-3 hour stretches at night at that point. She usually got up around 6 am, and I would nurse her, and try to get her back to sleep right away to get a little bit more sleep for both of us.

~8 am - DD would get up for the day, and we would nurse. Then playtime for about an hour, and I would try to get DD down for her morning nap around 9 or 9:15 (she was only good for an hour "awake" time first thing in the morning). Nap for 45 minutes. Then we usually followed the "eat, play, sleep" schedule for the rest of the day, with her awake for about 2 hours at a stretch, and eating about every 2.5-3 hrs on average. She was taking about 3 naps a day, each averaging about 45 minutes (she's always been an awful napper). When she napped, I usually used that time to: shower, eat, and do laundry. If I needed to do errands, I usually tried to go after her morning nap, and carried her in her Moby. We also usually went for an hour walk in the afternoons sometime between 2 and 5. Then bath at 6:30, and in bed by 7.

5) Pretty involved. Now DH gives DD her bath and puts her to bed most nights. When she started sleeping more through the night (ie, 1-2 wake-ups), he would get up with her for the first wake-up, and I would take the 2nd. He also loves to do all the diaper changes.

6) Baby 411 has probably been the most overall helpful. Happiest Baby on the Block didn't work that great for us - we tried all the suggestions, but it wasn't life-changing or anything. I found the Girlfriends' Guides entertaining, but not necessarily that helpful.

7) DD was 3 months when I went back to work full-time and we have a wonderful nanny who watches her during the week.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

1) Holding upright, patting on back. Nursing only worked for my kids if they were hungry

2) Heck yes!! My DH is pretty good about that.

3)When DS was 6 months or younger, i took him to my doctor appointments very very rarely, only if DH could not watch him (we did not have a sitter then). like my 6week postpartum check up and a few other random appts. It wasn't too bad in the early months when he would just sleep most of the time and wasn't mobile, and could be soothed with a pacifier. Past 1yo, no way, no how would i take DS to one of my appointments.. i scheduled them all when i the sitter was available. We don't have any family in town at all, but once i got preg with #2 we made it a priority to find someone to look after DS in these situations, since i would be having lots of appts coming up that i knew my DH could not be there for, and my DS is not the type to just sit happily in a stroller during appts..ihe'd totally wreak havoc, no question. maybe my DS is odd (extremely mobile, will not sit still in a stroller, gets into *everything*) but i see the previous PP's points that going to appts alone with a toddler can really suck for everyone involved (i could see my DS potentially causing some major damage in a dr's office if i didn't have an extra person to restrain/entertain him). though i think this poll is mostly about young babies (<4mos) who are not mobile so it's a moot point anyway...

4) 2-4 mo was by far the easiest age for my DS. slept through the night (after 3mo) and napped a lot during the day. when he napped i did stuff around the house (cleaned, cooked), when he was awake i played with him. even when he was awake i could get some stuff done, as he would play on his activity mat. I was able to get way more stuff done then than i did when DS was mobile and walking around and getting into everything, and napping much less during the day.

5) A ton. my DS prefers DH to me, if that says anything.

6) Baby Laughs by Jenny McCarthy...seriously funny!

7) n/a

[kijip]

1) What are your best tips to soothe a crying baby? Nursing, rocking while standing up, the football hold.

2) For SAHMs: Does your SO/spouse act as "relief duty" after you've had a full day with baby? Not strictly a sahm but hell to the yes. We both refuse to settle for less than a well balanced partnership approach to parenting. My husband was and is amazing with the kids. We do relief duty for each other when one of us has just about had it. Luckily, we have pretty much never both had it at the same time. And I think that is in large part because we both are in, whole hog, on this parenting gig. the biggest blessing this brought me: my husband got up in the middle of the night and did everything but nurse so that I could just rest and nurse- bring me water, change diapers etc. And he would get the kids breakfast going while I did the early am nursing. It is so nice to have that sort of tag teaming.

4) SAHMs who are first-time moms: What did your day typically look like (be specific) when baby was 2-4mo?- my time at home in the age range was completely abnormal. My mother was dying of cancer. My days were a lot of nursing while baby wearing and shuttling my mom all over town for cancer treatments.

5) How involved is your SO/spouse in taking care of baby? See above. I married what my mother always referred to as "a keeper" when it came to childcare and such.

6) Was there *one* "new motherhood" book that was especially helpful to you? (any type - serious, funny, educational, etc) - I enjoyed Opting In on the motherhood side of things, and HBOTB for the baby care side of things.

7) For moms who went back to work: How old was baby when you returned to work, and who took care of baby? - With my youngest, he was past 10 months when I returned to work that required leaving him. My husband and dad did childcare duty when this happened.

[bubbaray]

I get disagreeing, but I don't get the anger. The fact that you chose not to find a sitter till your kids were older does not mean anything about Sadie427's ability or commitment to get a sitter or other care.
.


She said that people shouldn't go to medical or dental appointments with their children and I think that is completely unrealistic for a lot of people. Her original post on this thread was pretty condescending. JMHO.

[MommyAllison]

1) Nursing. Walking while wearing the baby, too.

2) Yes, to some extent. DH came home for lunch everyday, but evenings he often had to work. He played with and held DD a lot when he was home, and made lunch for both of us every day. Honestly, I *need* a break more from my older kids than I did from infants - and DH does take over when I'm done these days.

3) I think the only Dr appt I had when DD was under 12 months was my OB 6 week checkup, and I did bring DD - I think I did end up holding her while they did my exam - fun times. For the dentist, DH & I would schedule our appts back to back (so me from 10-11, him from 11-12) and would trade off w/DD - until she was over a year, then Grandma would watch her so we could both have appts at the same time.

4) Lots of nursing and napping with DD. Playing when she was awake, with soft toys, looking at books, etc. We went shopping and on mommy playdates with my friends too - we all had babies within 8 months of each other that year. She was an early winter baby, so walks didn't start until 4-5 months.

5) Very, when he was home, but his schedule was very crazy. He changed lots of diapers, brought me water & snacks when I was nursing constantly the first week, cooked, cleaned up, etc. He took 1 week off work, though he did have to go in for some things and worked from home a bit too. Around 5 months DD went through a month long stage where she would *not* go to sleep at night - we'd have to pace w/her for an hour to get her to sleep, and DH took equal duty with me. (The mei tai eventually solved that problem and saved our sanity!)

6) The Nursing Mothers Companion was the most helpful, because it helped me correct DD's latch after LCs brushed it off as fine. It also reassured me that it was ok that DD was nursing for 40 minutes/side at the beginning - she did get faster with time. :)

7) n/a

[MissAndi]

My LO is 10 weeks, so I'm living this right now. :)

1) What are your best tips to soothe a crying baby?
Nursing. Altho, in the last 3 days, walking around doing lunges calms him (whether just being held, in the Bjorn or a sling). Not just bouncing around or swaying... the walking must include lunging. Deep lunging. I haven't decided if this is a good thing or not.

2) For SAHMs: Does your SO/spouse act as "relief duty" after you've had a full day with baby? Sometimes. He mostly takes care of the dog and the kitchen. So, he feeds me which is great since my LO has nursed almost around the clock since he was born making me a very hungry mama. He does help out with diapers and will entertain him so I can shower once a day. This is wayyyy more than his dad did.

3) When you need to go to dentist, doctor, or other appointments - do you take baby with you? Do you hold baby during the appts? If not, what do you do if baby starts fussing? I've had numerous doc appts. One I did not take him to and ended up having to go get a test done and being gone for 5 hours. Bad in so many ways since I"m BFing, but it did not go well at home either. For the others, I've made sure that I mentioned when making the appointment that I would be bringing my infant. I always bring the car seat in so during any exam, I have somewhere safe for him to rest. Usually, one of the nurses or other staff swoop in and take him for the duration of my appointment. But, I do definitely give the folks a head's up and a chance to request I not bring my infant. I've nursed during several appointments to keep him happy. Again, though, I always ask if it's ok. Did I mention previously that he eats constantly?

4) SAHMs who are first-time moms: What did your day typically look like (be specific) when baby was 2-4mo? Hm... let's see... We'll just do the last 24 hours, shall we? 3am...finally asleep!. 7am wake up and eat. diaper change 9.30am wake up and eat and diaper change. 11.30am wake up and eat and diaper change. 1.pm wake up, diaper/outfit change, eat, play 3pm walk around the neighborhood and eat at outdoor cafe (in the shade). 4pm walk to get dessert. change diaper, eat some more. 5.30pm walk home, change diaper, play, and bath. 7.30 diaper change, eat, and nap. 8.30 eat and squall and eat and squall until 11.30. eat, pretend to sleep, change diaper, fuss. 12:30, pretend to sleep again. Giggle at mommy because she thinks she can get some sleep, too. squall, eat again. 1:00 squall and eat. 2:00 fall asleep, but wake up because the dog make a ruckus fluffing up his bed just so, eat. 2:30 eat fall asleep... 3am...sleeping... I think. This is a fairly typical day. I try to get out once a day...whether that's been a doc appointment, the grocery store, or a walk around the neighborhood. He'd pretty much eat 24/7 if that was an option.

5) How involved is your SO/spouse in taking care of baby? He gives the bath. He does change some diapers. Mostly, though, my DH is focused on taking care of me and everything else, so I can focus on DS.

6) Was there *one* "new motherhood" book that was especially helpful to you? (any type - serious, funny, educational, etc) I liked Happiest Baby on the Block and the La Leche League book about BFing. It's really informative. Also, I got my DH a book called Be Prepared. It's a funny how to book. I've actually found it useful as there are lots of diagrams and pictures.

[mackmama]

Quite ironically - last night I lost a filling from my tooth. So today I need to go to the dentist and will have to bring baby (who has veen *very* fussy lately). I think I got an hour of sleep last night stressing about how it will go. Please wish me luck and send "be good to mommy" vibes to LO. :)

[SnuggleBuggles]

Quite ironically - last night I lost a filling from my tooth. So today I need to go to the dentist and will have to bring baby (who has veen *very* fussy lately). I think I got an hour of sleep last night stressing about how it will go. Please wish me luck and send "be good to mommy" vibes to LO. :)

You should ask the friend you were chatting with about these things irl to babysit for you. :)

Beth

[mackmama]

You should ask the friend you were chatting with about these things irl to babysit for you. :)

Beth

I wish! She lives in a different state.

[vdrake71]

1) What are your best tips to soothe a crying baby?
Nursing, walking, changing diaper, bath, swaddling

2) For SAHMs: Does your SO/spouse act as "relief duty" after you've had a full day with baby?
Typically no. If he does, it sometimes is more of a distraction since he will watch TV and just let the baby cry.

3) When you need to go to dentist, doctor, or other appointments - do you take baby with you? Do you hold baby during the appts? If not, what do you do if baby starts fussing?
Sometimes I will take the baby with, but I try not to. When the baby is younger, hopefully they will sleep in the car seat. Typically, they do not want you to hold the baby. Sometimes, I have had the nurse or someone else come in and ask to hold the baby.

4) SAHMs who are first-time moms: What did your day typically look like (be specific) when baby was 2-4mo?
I always tell everyone that I disappear for the first 3 months. Since I nursed all of my children, I am on duty 24 hours a day. We tried with the first one to have my DH get up and change the diaper, but then we were both sleepy the next day. With the second, third, and fouth child, my DH took off two weeks (I had a c-section all 4 times), and then the next two weeks he took off 3 days a week, and then the next two weeks he took off 2 days a week. As far as night, I have slept (or use a co-sleeper) with my kids until they were 6 weeks or 3-4 months). At the end of 3 or 4 months, hopefully, they are starting to develop a schedule. Also, if they were fussy, typically after 4 months, they will start to be less fussy.

5) How involved is your SO/spouse in taking care of baby?
Not to involved. He enjoys them when they are older.

6) Was there *one* "new motherhood" book that was especially helpful to you? (any type - serious, funny, educational, etc)
What to expect in the 1st year.

7) For moms who went back to work: How old was baby when you returned to work, and who took care of baby?
3 months for the first two children and my mom took care of them. After that, my mother refused to watch anymore kids. We interviews some nannies, but they were going to cost about $40,000 plus extras (benefits, ect).