PDA

View Full Version : JFF: how long did you wait to announce your pregnancy



janine
04-19-2011, 09:38 AM
Obviously there will be some variation, some people feel more comfortable telling earlier than others for a host of reasons. For the purpose of this poll answer in terms of telling everyone for public knowledge (work, casual friends, exteneded family).

ETA: For those who have yet to tell, answer for when you expect to.

daisymommy
04-19-2011, 09:51 AM
Within a few weeks for all of our kids. So that would have put me at about 2 months each time. We were very excited, all 3 were planned, there was a holiday coming up right after we found out each time so it was the perfect time to announce.

And we decided early on that if I was ever to miscarry, we would want the support and encouragement of everyone, not to have to hide my sadness & grief from everyone and act like nothing happened. No matter how early on a loss would occur, it would have still been a baby in our families/friends eyes. So either way, we felt like there was no reason to wait to tell.

KrisM
04-19-2011, 10:18 AM
I could only vote once, so I picked 15-18 weeks, since that what it was for the boys. DD was about 12 weeks.

With DS1 we wanted to tell DH's family first, so it took a bit longer since it required a vacation. DD we told my family first and it was 12 weeks. With DS2, my grandma was going through cancer treatment and we waited until things were calmed down a bit from that before telling people.

kdeunc
04-19-2011, 10:21 AM
I was different with each pregnancy. With DS1 we announced to family around 9-10 weeks and everyone else after 12 weeks. DS2 was a probably 12-14 weeks. DD was about 18 weeks. We had an amnio with her and wanted to wait until after that to announce. I lost a pregnancy between DS2 and DD. No one knew about that pregnancy until the miscarriage. I also think that played into our decision to wait so long with DD.

arivecchi
04-19-2011, 11:12 AM
I waited as long as possible both times - around 16-20 weeks. I don't live near family so it was not difficult. I was kind of in shock both times and needed the time to get used to the idea and get over morning sickness without people asking questions. BTW, both kids were planned, but I was still in shock. ;)

AnnieW625
04-19-2011, 11:37 AM
I didn't vote because I did something different each time.

With DD1 I told my parents, ILs, future godparents, and other close family members at 8 weeks, the day of my first OB appt. I told my co workers about two weeks later because I was falling asleep at my desk.

With the baby we lost I told my parents, sister, and brother at 9 weeks. I told other close friends and co workers at 13 weeks. I couldn't keep it a secret much longer at all. I showed really early.

With DD2 I told my parents, and siblings at 12 weeks. I told my dad to tell my grandma on the day of the NST test because my grandpa was dying so we to keep her upbeat as soon as the RN U/S tech told us that the measurements to rule out Down Syndrome were good. I told a few close co workers, mom group, and my boss at 14 weeks, and pretty much everyone else had it figured out by 20 weeks. I also think we told my ILs at 14 weeks once I was in the clear for birth defects and such. I was very happy I didn't show super early that time.

janine
04-19-2011, 11:45 AM
sorry that I didn't check off the feature to vote more than once :duh:...it doesn't allow me to edit that!

lmh2402
04-19-2011, 11:46 AM
for immediate family, really early

got BFP 10 DPO. waited for darker line and feeling like it wasn't seeing things with my eyes - like 14/15 DPO.

told DH. he flipped out (happy) and he called my sister

that was on a friday. we were already scheduled to go out to dinner with my family that night b/c DH had just gotten a new job. he begged that we tell them that night.

so we did. then we called his parents.

my mom & sister were actually with me for first appt and to see heartbeat. in fact, they were there and DH wasn't - he was away on biz.

my dad apparently started calling my extended family b/c he could not contain his excitement. he went so far as to track down his sister, traveling through china at the time...i started getting calls from people (aunts/uncles, cousins)...caught me off-guard at first, but my family is very close and i'm super comfortable with all of them, so it was ok by me and DH.

i was happy/comfortable with our parents/siblings knowing so early. i personally wouldn’t have told my extended family so early if left to our own devices. but like daisymommy said, we had already discussed (while TTC) the risks of telling people early and then suffering a loss...and we knew we wanted people to know/receiving support from them. in the end, it worked out b/c DS is here, and people were excited with us/for us for pretty much whole ride.

MommyAllison
04-19-2011, 12:19 PM
DD - told family at 6 weeks, everyone else when 2nd trimester started

DS - told family at 10 weeks, everyone else when 2nd trimester started

This time - haven't told anyone yet, planning to tell family at 14 weeks and everyone else after that

I voted 15 weeks, since that is when we told "everyone". We haven't had a miscarriage before, but have watched so many friends & family go through it, and have decided to wait every time to announce. I am a very private person and this is the best way for me.

MacMacMoo
04-19-2011, 12:41 PM
SqueekMoo - we told everyone immediately

We moved cross country and were no longer near family.

Matthew - DH told his work within a week of us finding out to keep them in the loop, family and friends had to wait till after the 20 week ultrasound

Petrie - DH's work knew right away. We miscarried, we told family that week.

Sproutlet - DH's work knew right away. Everyone else had to wait til the 20 week ultrasound.

lowrioh
04-19-2011, 12:45 PM
With DD1 and DD2 we waited until 12 weeks but with DD2 I started showing really early so all of my observant co-workers and friends had already figured it out.

Tondi G
04-19-2011, 12:51 PM
with DS1 it was around 8 or 9 weeks ... we told family and since it was the 1st grandchild my mom couldn't keep quiet about it. All was well so it wasn't an issue. We had 2 MC's in between so when DS2's pregnancy came along we didn't tell till after 12 weeks!

Mommy_Mea
04-19-2011, 12:57 PM
For both DS and DC2, we waited until after the 1st trimester/first U/S to tell "the rest of the world". My sister miscarried at 13 weeks, and she had just told EVERYONE, and I know how painful it was for her after that. So I wanted to keep the people "in the know" to a small group initially.

So we told most of our immediate family throughout the 1st trimester, somewhat because of timing (everyone together for Thanksgiving, etc), but also because I knew they would all be there for us if I miscarried. We definitely told more people, and earlier, with DC2.

eh613c
04-19-2011, 03:00 PM
We wanted to wait after the 1st trimester. We didn't want to tell everyone right away because of the high risk for a miscarriage.

SnuggleBuggles
04-19-2011, 03:10 PM
Both times we waited till after the 1st trimester. I wanted to just feel more secure. I dislike attention and sympathy unless I really need it. I want to be able to open up, as needed, just because I have to.

Beth

janine
04-19-2011, 03:50 PM
In my case with both I told my mom and sister at week 7-8. They would be the ones I would turn to in case of a loss. I am also very private and do not like alot of people knowing my personal business especially if it is upsetting to me.

With # 1 I told rest of the family after 1st trimester (week 13), meaning IL's, my father, aunts/uncles etc. I told work and friends after the anatomy scan (around week 19) - people were starting to guess at this point.

With #2, I will hold off on rest of family, friends, work until after week 18 or the anatomy scan. It certainly is tougher staying quiet these last 4 weeks.

HIU8
04-19-2011, 09:54 PM
I didn't vote. It was different with DS and DD. With DS we waited until 12 weeks to tell family and 14-15 weeks to tell friends (only 1 friend knew literally from conception b/c she was with me when I came home from the RE's office to rest0--b/c DH had a meeting he was leading). With DD we told immediately (about a day after we found out). FIL was dying and we wanted him to know so we ended up telling family right away. I was 12 weeks at FIL's funeral. So pretty much everyone else found out then.

soon2b4
04-19-2011, 10:30 PM
I think we told family between 7 & 10 weeks each time. Then everyone else after the first trimester.
This time we told my family pretty early because we went on a ski trip with them and I needed to explain why I had decided not to ski...

swissair81
04-21-2011, 10:19 AM
With #1 we told our parents right away, siblings waited until after the first tri, and everyone else waited until they noticed.

#2 basically the same, except I told my sibs when I put on maternity, and dh's after the first tri.

#3 was the same as number 2.

#4 was a doozy. we told our parents when we found out, and my siblings when I put on maternity, but then I started bleeding and I found out that I had a 40% chance of losing the pregnancy. I refused to tell anyone- even my grandmother. DH's siblings found out around 20 weeks. My neighbors and community knew earlier because I was on bedrest and people were making me meals and doing my kids' carpools for me. I had one sister in law who was super insulted. She assumed I wasn't telling her because she was struggling with infertility. I tried to tell her that I didn't tell anyone, but she didn't buy. My DH called her up and knocked some sense into her and she apologized. Incidentally, she had twins in December.

indigo99
04-22-2011, 11:34 AM
This time, I told my brother, sister, and BF the first week. DH's family found out after first trimester. The public announcement on facebook was just last week.

Carrots
04-22-2011, 03:38 PM
I waited until 16 weeks with the triplets. With DD A, I was so terrified to tell anyone that we waited until 2 weeks after the level 2 u/s. With K we announced around 19 weeks after the level 2.

firemama
04-22-2011, 10:22 PM
We told only my mom and sister right away. My mom was really itching to tell people and when I was close to my 2nd trimester, she got confused when I said it would be okay to tell people. Actually, she didn't listen as usual. So she went and told a friend and I found out because that person sent me a Christmas card and they said congratulations... I was so hopping mad! Next time around we are not telling ANYONE until my 2nd trimester. Period.

Pinky
04-22-2011, 10:37 PM
We told family and coworkers within a week of getting a positive test with the first pregnancy but then miscarried around 8 weeks. The aftermath was awful and I vowed to never tell early again... Even after I thought I had told everyone about the m/c I would run into people I hadn't seen for a while and would have to relive everything over and it would make for a really awkward situation for both me and the other person. Just an awful experience all around.

With DD we waited until the beginning of the second trimester to tell... we live far away from family and at the time didn't talk to them on a daily basis so it was easy to hide even with me being extremely sick.

I just found out I'm pregnant again and this time, if I have the same morning sickness it will be hard to time because my family calls nearly everyday to "talk" with DD. When I was sick before I could barely even answer the phone for months...