Mommies of Toddlers Confess....

[amldaley]

Saw this and wanted to share. Some are horrifying and some I do, too, and did not think were so bad.

For instance, I am shocked at the bathtub one and the bedtime one. But the artwork one? If you have a DC in daycare, you get it. The artwork is overwhelming.

Also, interestingly...a couple of these have been recent thread topics here on BBB!

And, last but not least...I really want Julie (JoolsPlus2) to see the picture in the article. :wink2:

http://news.holidash.com/2011/05/03/confessions-of-a-mother-guilty-things-mothers-secretly-do/?icid=main%7Chp-laptop%7Cdl7%7Csec1_lnk3%7C212412

[DebbieJ]

I was a single mom for 2 months one summer when DS1 was 2 1/2 and DH was working out of town on a project. Our routine was to stay up late and sleep in late. We still got the same amount of sleep as we normally would, we just shifted it a few hours later. I don't see any problem with that if you don't really have anywhere to be.

[catsnkid]

I am guilty of taking a day off and sending DS to daycare and letting him eat food before I pay for it. He also insists on sampling my drinks and I let him sip my decaf iced coffee- he didn't want it after that.

That picture looks like it is a stock pic from a few years ago, the car seat looks like an older model.

[newg]

whoa, how old is that picture!!!!

I let dd1 (3yrs old) play in the backyard by herself now........the yard is fenced in, I can see the entire yard from our kitchen....so I'll let her play while empty the dishwasher or feed DD2 at the dinner table....

some of those are a little crazy though!

[DietCokeLover]

I'm surprised by the hair dying comment!

[amldaley]

I am guilty of taking a day off and sending DS to daycare

See, I thought that was weird to even be on the list!

I guess I don't see the "guilt" in that!

Working moms need time at home, without LO's, to get stuff done. Period.

I see it as the same as a SAHM getting a sitter or leaving LO's with DH for an evening to get out to go shopping alone, or have dinner with girlfriends just for the adult conversation.

Mama's need time sometimes!!!!!!!!!!! My DD LOVES daycare and she thrives there. Where is the taboo in that?

[Green_Tea]

I'm surprised by the hair dying comment!

:yeahthat:

Pretty much everything else I have done, or have a friend who has. But I have never met a someone who would fess up to dyeing their kid's hair!

[Allisonsmommy]

I am guilty of opening something in the store and letting my daughter eat it before we buy as well. I also have let my daughter be alone in the bath (but she is nearly 4 and i JUST started this and never go more than maybe 50 feet away. I can't imagine doing that when she was 2!

I also am a clean freak and while i do like to keep many of her art i do throw away a good amount of it, especially if she does 5 or 6 paintings in a day.

[sweetsue98]

My DD goes to daycare so I'm guilty of throwing away her artwork. She's only one so her artwork is not the best....

What really surprused me is the bathtub one....not sure if I would leave a 2 year old.

[DebbieJ]

I am guilty of opening something in the store and letting my daughter eat it before we buy as well.

When DS1 was little, we were in the grocery store buying produce. The peaches were in season and very fragrant, so I picked one up, put it to his face, and told him to smell it. Instead he leaned in and took a HUGE bite! LOL!

Rather than fight him on it, I gave him the peach and he happily gnawed on it while I shopped in peace. When I got to the checkout, I just had the cashier weigh one of the peaches twice so I was sure to pay for it.

And I have been known to open something and eat it MYSELF before paying for it. My grocery store has these little loaves of pretzel bread and sometimes I'll grab one from the bakery and eat it while I'm shopping. And I always make sure I pay for it on the way out.

[Raidra]

The only ones that really surprise me are the bathtime one (letting the 2 year old bathe unsupervised) and the undeserved early bedtime punishment. The punishment one strikes me as especially horrible. :(

I don't think the hair dye comment is shocking, but it makes me sad. I have red hair and I wish one of my kids did.. but I'm not about to dye it.

[TwinFoxes]

That was quite a hodge podge. Some of the "confessions" were like "who cares?" (tossing art? Please, my kids aren't in daycare and I'm nota clean freak, but I can't keep it all!) and some were really mean. I can't believe someone pretended their kids were naughty to send them to bed early! Making your kids feel guilt for no reason is mean I think (although fibbing about it being bedtime an hour early didn't bug me).

What did you guys think of the "little squirt" tshirt? I didn't get the joke at first. Now that I do, I wouldn't dress my DDs in it.

[wellyes]

I've done a few of those, including not hovering over a toddler in the bathtub (I am in the next room but talking to her the whole time), pre-eating at the grocery store and pitching artwork. I have plenty of mommy guilt in me, but none about those things.

[amldaley]

That was quite a hodge podge. Some of the "confessions" were like "who cares?" (tossing art? Please, my kids aren't in daycare and I'm nota clean freak, but I can't keep it all!) and some were really mean. I can't believe someone pretended their kids were naughty to send them to bed early! Making your kids feel guilt for no reason is mean I think (although fibbing about it being bedtime an hour early didn't bug me).

What did you guys think of the "little squirt" tshirt? I didn't get the joke at first. Now that I do, I wouldn't dress my DDs in it.

ITA on all above.

As for the tee shirt...ugh. Just b/c it is a play on words does not mean it's cute. I agree that you can dress your kids however you wish, but it is in poor taste and says something about how that woman values her child. And, aside from all of that....EWWW.

[Green_Tea]

ITA on all above.

As for the tee shirt...ugh. Just b/c it is a play on words does not mean it's cute. I agree that you can dress your kids however you wish, but it is in poor taste and says something about how that woman values her child. And, aside from all of that....EWWW.

I have to be honest with you, though - before this thread and taking the time to *really* think about it, I would never have picked up on the double meaning of "little squirt." I wouldn't buy a shirt that said that (because I don't buy "Mommy's Little Slugger" or "Daddy's Little Princess" type stuff), but if someone gave it to us, I'd likely dress my kid in it without thinking twice. I would be HORRIFIED if someone berated me for it - simply because it would NOT have been a reflection of my taste or how much I value my child. It would have been me, being clueless.

That being said - I am not sure that I would jump to the conclusion that what you see is what you get when it comes to how much someone values their kid as related to what they're dressed in (assuming they're NOT clueless like I am.) Sometimes people just have a different sense of humor. I know a lot of people who dress their kids in things I don't deem appropriate for my own kids, but I don't think they love or value their kids less.

[amldaley]

I have to be honest with you, though - before this thread and taking the time to *really* think about it, I would never have picked up on the double meaning of "little squirt." I wouldn't buy a shirt that said that (because I don't buy "Mommy's Little Slugger" or "Daddy's Little Princess" type stuff), but if someone gave it to us, I'd likely dress my kid in it without thinking twice. I would be HORRIFIED if someone berated me for it - simply because it would NOT have been a reflection of my taste or how much I value my child. It would have been me, being clueless.

That being said - I am not sure that I would jump to the conclusion that what you see is what you get when it comes to how much someone values their kid as related to what they're dressed in (assuming they're NOT clueless like I am.) Sometimes people just have a different sense of humor. I know a lot of people who dress their kids in things I don't deem appropriate for my own kids, but I don't think they love or value their kids less.

I was basing that purely off the way the "confession" was written. In THAT scenario, the mom purposely put her daughter in a shirt she knew others would find crude. THAT is what I have an issue with. I think it is using an unassuming or unaware child for her own amusement. And I, personally, do find that it degrades her child.

However, I don't think it was appropriate for someone else to walk up to her and comment on it, either though - for exactly the reasons you said above. I definitely agree with you on that!

[Green_Tea]

I was basing that purely off the way the "confession" was written. In THAT scenario, the mom purposely put her daughter in a shirt she knew others would find crude. THAT is what I have an issue with. I think it is using an unassuming or unaware child for her own amusement. And I, personally, do find that it degrades her child.

However, I don't think it was appropriate for someone else to walk up to her and comment on it, either though - for exactly the reasons you said above. I definitely agree with you on that!

I agree. That is degrading.

(Still reeling over "little squirt" realization. I'm 36 and just now finding this out? I need to get out more!)

[amldaley]

I agree. That is degrading.

(Still reeling over "little squirt" realization. I'm 36 and just now finding this out? I need to get out more!)

We're the same age. I remember "Squirt" being a nickname lots of people called little kids in the 70's. Along the lines of "Hey, kiddo". It never occured to me either until I heard something similar recently. I think it is only an issue in the context of "Daddy's Little Squirt".

I met a woman who called her son, "Spot". I curiously asked why. She got all annoyed while her boyfriend laughed and laughed b/c it was a family joke that she had (warning...crude comment to follow) "rolled over in the wet spot." She had no intention of having another child but he was an "accident". The kid was 5 years old and answered to "Spot". And she told me this story right in front of him.

For some reason, the tee shirt scenario in the confessions just reminded me of this - so maybe that is why I find it particularly sad.

[Melanie]

I was thinking about the picture "Well, at least the handle isn't up!" LOL. I always see people with the handles up.

ETA: PS - when I was a kid, kids were called 'squirt,' and until this moment I NEVER thought of it in that way. Eeks!

And I have been tempted to run some natural stuff through Dc hair to have the sun lighten it during summer months, and then I feel really guilty about thinking of doing it and never have!

[Sweetum]

I had no idea that it was not right to open something in the grocery store to use right then when I'll be paying for it. We always drink water if thirsty and now DS expects a banana as soon as we go into TJ's! Sorry, I didn'know...

[niccig]

I had no idea that it was not right to open something in the grocery store to use right then when I'll be paying for it. We always drink water if thirsty and now DS expects a banana as soon as we go into TJ's! Sorry, I didn'know...

This isn't something to be guilty about. How else was our to get through a grocery trip without a screaming child???

And it's nothing new. My mother tells a story of the cashier wondering what was wrong, did they have mice, as several packets were open and bites taken out of things - my mother pointed to my younger sister and I riding in the basket.

[TwinFoxes]

I had no idea that it was not right to open something in the grocery store to use right then when I'll be paying for it. We always drink water if thirsty and now DS expects a banana as soon as we go into TJ's! Sorry, I didn'know...

This was one of the "who cares?" ones to me. I get the girls a pretzel roll every time we shop at Wegmans. They snack on it through the store. I've taken an empty bakery bag up to the cashier and tell them "one roll" when they ask what's in it. Wegmans also gives out lots of free samples, so I assume they don't have a problem with people eating in the store.

[TwinFoxes]

We're the same age. I remember "Squirt" being a nickname lots of people called little kids in the 70's. Along the lines of "Hey, kiddo". It never occured to me either until I heard something similar recently. I think it is only an issue in the context of "Daddy's Little Squirt".



I agree. I think "Squirt" is a nickname. But "Daddy's little squirt" is meant to be a double entendres. I do wonder where the "confesser" hangs out. It's not only acceptable to consider dressing your kid in that shirt, but someone else will berate you for it, and you in turn tell that person off. Fun town!

[dogmom]

Egg + Sperm = Baby, no way getting around that. Sure, "Daddy's little squirt" is crude, I think degrading is in the eye of the beholder. I would never assume that someone that thought less of their child or was degrading them by the shirt unless I observed them for a long period of time and thought: "Oh, they treat their child like spilled jizm" (how do you spell that?, afraid to google) vs "My child is a product of My husbands virile little swimmers." One is degrading, one is crude, but maybe funny. One could make an argument that "Daddy's Little Princess" could be degrading, but I'm not going to.

[TwinFoxes]

Oops double post!

[Melaine]

The hair dye one really freaked me out, and the bathtub one. I wouldn't do the t-shirt (although, I also might not have gotten the double meaning if I saw it on another kid), I wouldn't do the close TV watching, can't imagine a safe situation for letting a toddler play outside alone, wouldn't do pizza for breakfast.

But seriously the hair dye and the bathtub one are disturbing to me.

[DebbieJ]

i met a woman who called her son, "spot". I curiously asked why. She got all annoyed while her boyfriend laughed and laughed b/c it was a family joke that she had (warning...crude comment to follow) "rolled over in the wet spot." she had no intention of having another child but he was an "accident". The kid was 5 years old and answered to "spot". And she told me this story right in front of him.


:47: Omg!

[wellyes]

The 'little squirt' thing is crude but I think it is equally inappropriate to put a child in a 'spoiled princess' t-shirt and I see those all the time. They sell them both at Target.


I had no idea that it was not right to open something in the grocery store to use right then when I'll be paying for it. We always drink water if thirsty and now DS expects a banana as soon as we go into TJ's! Sorry, I didn'know...

I feed my kid at the grocery store sometimes-but- what I dont' understand about feeding bananas is that they're sold by weight. How do you pay for it?

[ahisma]

We're the same age. I remember "Squirt" being a nickname lots of people called little kids in the 70's. Along the lines of "Hey, kiddo". It never occured to me either until I heard something similar recently. I think it is only an issue in the context of "Daddy's Little Squirt".

That one surprised me too, because I think of "squirt" as being a totally acceptable nickname and NEVER would have thought of that. I turn 36 next week, so I guess it must be a more recent connotation.

[Katigre]

What really surprused me is the bathtub one....not sure if I would leave a 2 year old.
That one didn't surprise me - she said she was in the adjoining bedroom in eyeshot, not in another part of the house out of sight/out of mind.

[Smillow]

I feed my kid at the grocery store sometimes-but- what I dont' understand about feeding bananas is that they're sold by weight. How do you pay for it?

I think at TJ's they are sold by the each;)

[smiles33]

I agree with much of what has already been posted but am surprised by those who eat food before purchase while shopping. I was always taught that was rude and "stealing" from the store when people take a grape or open a box of crackers before getting to the cash register. I understand you intend to pay for it when you get up front, but the concept is foreign to me. I have never seen anyone at my grocery stores eating fruit/food inside the store (with the exception of TJ or Costco samples). Now i am going to look for it to see if it is more common.

[Melanie]

I agree with much of what has already been posted but am surprised by those who eat food before purchase while shopping. I was always taught that was rude and "stealing" from the store when people take a grape or open a box of crackers before getting to the cash register. I understand you intend to pay for it when you get up front, but the concept is foreign to me. I have never seen anyone at my grocery stores eating fruit/food inside the store (with the exception of TJ or Costco samples). Now i am going to look for it to see if it is more common.

Same here, but it seems to be one of those issues that splits people down the middle. I think my mom just always worried what if something "happened" and we had to leave without paying. It never did to her, but it did to me once - I had forgotten my wallet! They put my cart into the cooler case and I came back in an hour to pay. I'd have felt like a total thief if we'd eaten some of it. When my kids were little I just brought snacks for them to munch on in their cart covered-seats or strollers. Less stress for me and they were still happy. Now I'm working on teaching them that boredom does not equate snack time so they just deal with it!

[daisymommy]

That one surprised me too, because I think of "squirt" as being a totally acceptable nickname and NEVER would have thought of that. I turn 36 next week, so I guess it must be a more recent connotation.

It took me 5 minutes to figure out what in the world you guys were talking about! I thought it was just a cute nickname, like Sport or Buddy, and couldn't understand what the problem was ;).

My kids each get a cookie or banana to munch on as we stroll through the store; it keeps them quiet :shy:. I always bring an empty bakery bag with me so I can remember to pay, and no cashier has ever batted an eye when I mentioned it.

The hair dye thing is ridiculous. How vain. Be happy with the child you have! I pitty that child as they grow older. What's next, managing their weight at a young age?

And the bathtub thing? My father is a pastor. Last year he was called to the hospital by one of his church members. Her 3 year old DD was left alone in the tub while she was doing laundry. She slipped and fell, hit her head and drowned. My father came to pray over her and they removed life support. The parents other 2 kids were taken away and the mother was charged with endangerment and neglect.
I'll never leave my small (under 5 probably) kids alone in the tub after that!

[Smillow]

And the bathtub thing? My father is a pastor. Last year he was called to the hospital by one of his church members. Her 3 year old DD was left alone in the tub while she was doing laundry. She slipped and fell, hit her head and drowned. My father came to pray over her and they removed life support. The parents other 2 kids were taken away and the mother was charged with endangerment and neglect.
I'll never leave my small (under 5 probably) kids alone in the tub after that!
That is heartbreaking & a good reminder - I have been more lax about running into another room quickly while DS is bathing. Not a good idea! Thank you!

[AnnieW625]

Things we do:
I let my DD1 play on play structures un assisted
I throw most artwork unless it has hand, thumb or foot prints on it. I am a sucker for that kind of stuff.
I let my girls play alone in the backyard but we have a window that looks out from our kitchen and I can see them at all times.
We have left DD1 alone in the bathtub or shower, but our house is so small that we are not more than 10 feet from her if we aren't in the bathroom.
DD1 has eaten pizza for breakfast, I don't think we've tried this with DD2 yet, but it wouldn't bother me.
I have never once dyed my own hair so I would not dye my child's hair.

We don't:
go to bed most nights past 9pm (DD2 is a pumpkin by 7:00)
eat food in the store before paying for it.
take vacation when our daycare is open; however I might do a half day or two throughout the year and leave the girls at daycare; I kept DD1 in daycare last summer so I could have quality time with DD2 when she was a newborn.

[wellyes]

Her 3 year old DD was left alone in the tub while she was doing laundry. She slipped and fell, hit her head and drowned. My father came to pray over her and they removed life support. The parents other 2 kids were taken away and the mother was charged with endangerment and neglect.
I'll never leave my small (under 5 probably) kids alone in the tub after that!

That's horrible. I am assuming that there were other factors, or that "doing laundry" meant being further away for longer than anyone is talking about here. I do not think it's typical that when children die in accidents while under parent's supervision, the other kids are taken away.

[MamaMolly]

I suspect that this is going to be an unpopular comment, so ready your tomatoes. ;)

IMO this is a silly made up posting on a blog. It is intended to get us, as mothers, fired up. Feel guilty about real stuff if you must, not made up BS. Isn't there enough to berate ourselves about that we don't have to buy into a pre-fab guilt trip?

[Smillow]

I suspect that this is going to be an unpopular comment, so ready your tomatoes. ;)

IMO this is a silly made up posting on a blog. It is intended to get us, as mothers, fired up. Feel guilty about real stuff if you must, not made up BS. Isn't there enough to berate ourselves about that we don't have to buy into a pre-fab guilt trip?

Yeah, I tend to agree!

[DebbieJ]

I stay in the bathroom while DS2 is in the tub and use it as time to give the place a quick wipe down. With three boys in the house, my bathroom is disgusting!

[egoldber]

what I dont' understand about feeding bananas is that they're sold by weight. How do you pay for it?

I know that at TJs and Target they are sold X cents each, not by weight. I let my kids snack on things that are unit priced, but not ones sold by weight.

Most of those were just silly.

[TwinFoxes]

I agree with much of what has already been posted but am surprised by those who eat food before purchase while shopping. I was always taught that was rude and "stealing" from the store when people take a grape or open a box of crackers before getting to the cash register. I understand you intend to pay for it when you get up front, but the concept is foreign to me. I have never seen anyone at my grocery stores eating fruit/food inside the store (with the exception of TJ or Costco samples). Now i am going to look for it to see if it is more common.

I actually understand thinking it's rude, except for the fact that stores give away so many samples! My favorite is the WF near my house has a BBQ stand, and was giving out RIBS as a sample! Not part of a rib, an entire rib! I never give the girls anything that's sold by the weight, so it's not stealing to me. If I forgot my wallet, I can guarantee I have 80 cents in the bottom of my purse to pay for a roll. :) But giving kids snacks does seem like one of those things that some people find surprising.

[SnuggleBuggles]

That one surprised me too, because I think of "squirt" as being a totally acceptable nickname and NEVER would have thought of that. I turn 36 next week, so I guess it must be a more recent connotation.

Not my age but my sentiments. Until people on here starting implying there was something wrong about the phrase I never, ever would have considered it to be a problem. I think there have to be a good number of us that have no idea it's more than a cute nickname. Not one I use but one I wouldn't think twice about.

eta- and I'm not ok with a lot of the things on the list, especially the bathtub one. But some of them are total non issues as others have said. We are grocery store snackers though I usually avoid produce so we can accurately pay.
Beth

[TwinFoxes]

Not my age but my sentiments. Until people on here starting implying there was something wrong about the phrase I never, ever would have considered it to be a problem. I think there have to be a good number of us that have no idea it's more than a cute nickname. Not one I use but one I wouldn't think twice about.

Beth

Honestly, I've never seen the t-shirt in question. And I probably wouldn't have thought twice, because Squirt is just a nickname to me. But the blog entry was titled "I let my child wear crude t-shirts". I still think it's a perfectly acceptable nickname, but I think in this case capitalization matters. squirt vs. Squirt. ;)