Anyone else NOT looking forward to Mother's Day?

[SASM]

This is right up there with Valentine's Day...not a fan. Tomorrow just reminds me of my 1st Mom's Day...no card or gift (sadly, I had huge expections after 1- reading these boards & 2- I just romanticize everything) from DH, hearing him tell me "What? You're not my mother." and guilting him buying me a card and taking us out to brunch after I sat bawling in a hormonal lump on the sofa...lovely...not a shining moment. Tomorrow also reminds me of my not-so-rosey relationship with my mother, my senile, ever-changing grandmother, my other grandmother who just passed away, and my aunt/godmother who has that perfect family situation that I sooo desire for my little family. Everywhere I look, I seem to see Norman Rockwell-esque families. Thankfully, I have 3 amazing kids, who will hopefully behave tomorrow, that have been proudly showering me with crafts throughout the week. :) :) I love this age...I am starting to not rely on DH to "surprise" me. Their enthusiasm has been wonderful! I am still not a fan of tomorrow, however, just writing this post makes me feel better. I WILL get through tomorrow and see my 3 blessings! Sorry for the vent.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I don't have high hopes for tomorrow. Actually, that's not true. I have high hopes and I know I'll wind up being pretty bummed. This year for my birthday I totally scaled back any expectations and wound up having a lovely day vs a "must make everything perfect!!!" day. I wish I could do the same for tomorrow but I don't think I can. The house is still cluttered, I know dh didn't get me anything, and I have to still figure out how to spend time with my mom but still have time on my own.

I have no idea how I want to spend the day tomorrow. If I knew, I know dh would make it happen so that really isn't the issue. I do wish the magic cleaning and home repair fairies would come tonight so I could have total down time tomorrow w/o thinking about what we should be doing.

I hope that everyone is pleasantly surprised and feels appreciated on Mother's Day!!

Beth

[MommytoEliana]

I'm with you, sadly. I know my DD has a special plant for me from school, and so I'm looking forward to her giving that "surprise" to me. DH and the kids undoubtedly have cards, too. BUT I'm feeling frustrated after today because MIL and FIL are coming down tomorrow to hear DD sing at church, and we invited them to join us for a brunch/lunch afterward (and actually now they'll be staying the night too, which is another story and is fine). But, you know, I kind of expected DH to step up at least a little bit to help plan the lunch, given that it is Mother's Day. Um, no. Six o'clock this evening and he hasn't come up with anything despite my repeated comments/attempts to discuss it. Said he'd go grocery shopping though I don't know when he'd have done that, as we _just_ finished cleaning up the house. Finally I told him to just go pick up some quiches at a bakery tomorrow and call it good. The thing is, that will make a fine lunch. But why did _I_ have to be the one to figure everything out, make all the plans, etc.?

Oh, and did I mention that I researched and bought his mom a gift, had the kids make her a cute card (which will be from all of us since DH didn't get one for her), and feel like I'm pulling teeth to do any of this? Argh. All I wanted for a decent Mother's Day is someone _else_ to plan a reasonable amount--you know, maybe a nice breakfast or at least a lunch, maybe a special afternoon outing as a family or just for me? Yeah, not happening.

Oh, and did I mention that yesterday was my birthday? And yes, it was a busy day with lots of other commitments, but couldn't he have at least invited me to have lunch with him? Or gotten a special dessert for us for after the kids were in bed? No, _I_ had to suggest that he go and pick up takeout for us for a late supper.

Sorry, this has turned into a bitching post. I didn't mean to hijack your thread! Just wanted to join in--no, not particularly looking forward to tomorrow. I know better than to get my expectations up, and I try so hard not to every year, but darn it all, I think relationships (all sorts) need to be celebrated, and I (used to) like holidays!

May the day be better than we expect.

[MamaMolly]

Add me to the list. My mom hated Mother's Day. She was downright nasty about it, said she should be honored every day. What ever. I think it goes back to her 1st mother's day and my dad totally blew it and her off, and she's been bitter ever since. For like 40+ years. :rolleyes:

Anyway, it isn't Norman Rockwell over here by a long shot. I'd love to be spoiled and pampered, but it ain't going to happen. So I'll be happy with what ever. Lula is excited for me, so I know DH has done something. That is one bonus to my kiddo getting a little older!

[inmypjs]

Sorry your DH isn't more thoughtful to you on Mother's Day. My DH & kids usually do a few things - nothing elaborate - but enough to make it special. I don't look forward to the day though because my mom died very suddenly 1 1/2 years ago, and it's just a hard day. I try to focus on my own family which helps, but I still get pretty sad.

[AnnieW625]

I am not a huge fan of it, and I don't mind just staying home or not doing much, but tomorrow I told DH that I would like to go to Disneyland (we have passes) so I hope to go for a few hours. I don't need the whole brunch thing (just too many people and too much overpriced and mediocre food). I just talked to my mom on the phone about 30 minutes ago and realized that I didn't tell her Happy Mothers Day because it's not tomorrow yet and I probably won't talk to her tomorrow (we talk about twice a week or so). We get along great so really no hard feelings in that department.

I am not DH's mother so I have never really expected anything. DD1 painted a photo frame for me and put a photo her DCP took of the three of us in it and gave me a pink gerbera daisy. Of course the gift idea was the DCP's idea but I like hand made things.

[fumofu]

I don't care if DH doesn't do anything for Valentine's Day. But for Mother's Day, and this is my first, I wish DH would do something. But I don't think he has anything planned. Usually I am the one to buy a card and do something special meal-wise.

Moreover, I'm in the middle of a blah phase in terms of meal-planning and cooking. The fridge is empty. We've eaten frozen food and takeout for the past few days. Tomorrow we're supposed to go grocery shopping. I also have a load of laundry to do. And the usual cleanup. I just wish someone else could do these things for me.

My mother is a sweet woman. She has never complained about lack of holiday celebrations. This year I bought her a small pot of miniature roses and a card signed by my sisters and me. I also printed a 8x10 collage of DS and his cousins. We celebrated my nephew's 1st birthday at my parents' house today, so I don't feel like I need to meet with her tomorrow. MIL is out of the country, or else we most likely would've visited her. I'm glad that I'll be spending the day as a family of three.

[WolfpackMom]

DH is at a weekend long bachelor party in another state. I'm schlepping DS from my parents house an hr away to my in laws restaurant 45 mins away and then back home to hang out alone.
Less.than.thrilled.
But I told DH he could go and already probably gave him enough guilt about it so I can't complain too much. He did get me a card but I don't think there will be any gifts around here, I don't know when he is returning today and we haven't even talked on the phone since he left. My last mothers day was a big nonevent as well so I'm not anticipating being blown away. ;)

[sweetsue98]

I feel your pain. I don't get over excited about mother's day but like to do something little to celebrate. I have given up the hopes my Husband would shower me with gifts or surprise me with something. I think I've removed that expectation from my mind completely in fear of disappointment. My DH is great but not great at gifts or surprises so I surprise myself with gifts and treat myself to a spa day!!!!!

[janine]

i'm there with you - here it is Mother's Day and DH is still fast asleep! I don't detest the day only because my expectations are typically low. DH just doesn't get it - he thinks he's not involved since I'm not his mother and just focuses on his mother. Once DC is old enough to do things herself, that's fine, but every other person (and guy at work) seems to know you do something for your wife on BEHALF of your kids. I do this for him on father's day but he always forgets by the time mother's day rolls around again! Every year I make a subtle comment/suggestion and he looks at me blank faced.

[GvilleGirl]

here it is Mother's Day and DH is still fast asleep! I don't detest the day only because my expectations are typically low.

Glad I am not the only one that is up alone! Once DD came in he rolled over and said "Happy Mother's Day" and then went back to sleep. The sad thing is all I wanted was to sleep in and get a quiet shower. I emailed him that Mom Book idea that was mentioned on the What you want for mothers day thread knowing that he would not get the hint. Nope!

[Reyadawnbringer]

I feel your pain too. I haven't yet had a mother's day where I felt appreciated.

Last night DH got way too drunk (at home, by himself) while I was up until 2am finishing my english final essay. So of course this morning he let our son out of the room and then retreated to the bathroom. When DS tried to ask him to get out, he got the door slammed in his face which threw him into an emotional meltdown.
I got out of bed (was hoping to sleep in) and went to change DS's diaper and he was soaked through.

And sometime after DH gave DS his cup of milk DH disappeared into the bedroom and laid back down. The only "happy mothers day I have heard so far is from DS and that's because I coached him. I got no card, handmade or otherwise. Didn't get any extra sleep, no breakfast in bed, pretty much nothing.

Oh and I am sure it will be on me to clean the house for the company we are hosting today... /sigh

[Melaine]

I think today will be ok for me because I really REALLY scaled down my expectations. I also mentioned Mother's Day casually in passing twice last week to remind DH. He let me sleep in and he made pancakes, which was very nice. No gifts or cards from him (and I decided ahead of time that that would be totally fine with me). BUT, last week when we were visiting my parents, they covertly had DDs sign a sweet card and mailed it. So that was a very nice surprise!

DH and I have a good relationship, but we do NOT have good gifting skills (it's not just him, me too). I have ended up frustrated many times and sabotaging my own holidays with unrealistic expectations. Honestly, reading these boards often makes it worse. I am never going to get surprise jewelry or a special romantic trip or any kind of photo gift from DH. Ever. Partially because it's not something he thinks of, and partially because our financial situation is incredibly low compared to most here.

Today, I am feeling a bit sorry for myself because the thing I want the most from DH is to be a mother again, and that is not going to happen aside from a surprise. AF is actually two days late today and I am completely expecting it to come and put me in a worse mood. Either that or I will get wrapped up in the romantic possibility of a BFP on Mother's Day and buy a test only to be totally disappointed.

[AnimalBabe]

Ahh, well I too hold high expectations for days like these, and when you set such high expectations you're bound to be disappointed. I barely got any sleep last night due to a horrible cold, the baby woke up screaming for no apparent reason when I thought he'd sleep in (after going to bed later last night), and then our cat scratched him this morning for the first time! My sweet husband did make me breakfast which was much appreciated, but now there's a stack of dishes that I'm probably going to be cleaning myself. I was hoping for a nice relaxing weekend where I could just put my feet up for once, but it hasn't happened. I'm so exhausted and feeling so stressed lately, like I'm doing it all myself and never catch a break or get mommy time. Thank you all for posting your feelings, it really makes me feel like at least I'm not alone here. On the bright side, I have a wonderful husband (albeight one that could help out more) and an adorable son. Happy Mother's Day! :22:

[ged]

Yeah, it's always such a disappointment for me. Birthdays, anniversaries, mother's day...DH is always full of different excuses about why he doesn't get me anything, and accuses me of setting the bar too high. He's probably true. But, it's so hard, because I do earnestly scale back on all my expectations. It would just be nice to be surprised once.

[janine]

Yeah, it's always such a disappointment for me. Birthdays, anniversaries, mother's day...DH is always full of different excuses about why he doesn't get me anything, and accuses me of setting the bar too high. He's probably true. But, it's so hard, because I do earnestly scale back on all my expectations. It would just be nice to be surprised once.

I used to be told this too - but honestly it's more about effort whatever that may be! I've tried many different tactics, set by example, get specific with requests, scale down expectations (one birthday I just pretended it was a normal day and sure enough no "Happy Birthday" until I couldn't hold it in anymore and had a meltdown). Some people/guys just don't do this piece well. Oh and once I found out about "push presents" I was like are you kidding me, people actually get stuff from their DH's for delivering?!

[ged]

I used to be told this too - but honestly it's more about effort whatever that may be! I've tried many different tactics, set by example, get specific with requests, scale down expectations (one birthday I just pretended it was a normal day and sure enough no "Happy Birthday" until I couldn't hold it in anymore and had a meltdown). Some people/guys just don't do this piece well. Oh and once I found out about "push presents" I was like are you kidding me, people actually get stuff from their DH's for delivering?!

I year ya loud and clear. I too tried the various tactics, but to no avail. I even explained to him that my love language is different, etc., and that did nothing. And yeah, "push presents" -- I knew I deserved one after being on strict bedrest for 5 months, but NOPE...nothing. Anyhow, I am pretty bummed, so I am going to go on line buy some presents for myself.

[janine]

I year ya loud and clear. I too tried the various tactics, but to no avail. I even explained to him that my love language is different, etc., and that did nothing. And yeah, "push presents" -- I knew I deserved one after being on strict bedrest for 5 months, but NOPE...nothing. Anyhow, I am pretty bummed, so I am going to go on line buy some presents for myself.

I hear ya, at least we can console each other. Actually what I really wanted DH to do was maybe buy flowers and make a resevation for brunch. I even hinted a few days ago and said "are going anywhere for Mother's Day?". Blank stare...so I said maybe brunch? I mean is that a big deal? The worst for me is calling my own mother and she's asking what we're doing and I had to come up with something. I said, uh we might be heading somewhere to eat. She said "but you need to make reservations in advanced." So embarrassing. I tihnk the fact that it is a beautiful day compounds things. I think we'll be running errands instead..the one thing I do NOT want to do! Sorry for sounding so bitter!!

[SpaceGal]

I feel the same way about Mother's Day. It won't mean anything till my children do something. DH does ok but really it's an ehh day. It's not like he tells me to go to a spa and lavish myself in goodies and what not...I still do what I do every other day. So what's the big deal. I just figure I don't want to bother. Once we tried to go out to eat on Mother's Day and that was frustrating alone...just trying to get into a restuarant...we gave up after three hours and waiting ended up eating at the food court at the mall.

Today DH has mentioned having to de-thatch the lawn and getting lawn bags...UGH not that I expected much but really not my idea of a great day. So hence Mother's day isn't anything until my kids tell me they want to take me out to lunch/dinner or get me flowers etc. And if they don't...I must not have that great a relationship with them. I also don't have the rosy relationship with my mom so it's not what like PPs mentioned the Norman Rockwell families.