Grandparents travel to help out, who pays?

[crl]

I am just curious. If the grandparents travel to help you out with the kids, who pays the travel costs?

Catherine

[amatahrain]

We pay for Grandmas flight and anything else she needs while she's here.

[SpaceGal]

My mom pays her own way to visit us. I wouldn't mind paying for her if she needed me too. DH's side love to have someone to foot the bill...so we have. But then again they aren't good grandparents AT ALL...but that's a whole other story. But with the other families they foo the bill for DH's parents at all costs.

[justlearning]

If they traveled to just visit us, then they paid their airfare but we paid for all food while they're here and any other costs.

If they traveled to help us in any way, then we paid for everything including the airfare.

[Melanie]

Well, when my mom traveled via air with my children and I to help out on a trip, I paid, or tried to pay, for everything. She snuck money in here and there as I recall.

When they come to visit us they pay, but if it was a situation where they couldn't afford airfare/hotel/etc. and we could, then we would pay of course. They won't fly to see us, though, they drive. I think the aforementioned trip frightened my mother away from airports for good!

[DebbieJ]

When my MIL came to watch DS1 for us when we went out of town, she paid for her ticket. We offered to pay for it, but she refused.

She also paid for her ticket when she came up for a week after DS2 was born. She was in charge of DS1 for the week.

[Globetrotter]

We've done it both ways, but usually she pays since they can easily afford it. Whereas, we would have paid for dh's parents since their financial situation was different.

[s7714]

We pay for Grandmas flight and anything else she needs while she's here.

:yeahthat: That's what we did when my MIL was helping out while I was on bed rest. My ILs are retired and can't afford to blow their budget all the time, even though they'd like to pay for it themselves.

[kozachka]

We pay for my parents since they can't afford to, and MIL pays for everything herself, but for her it's more of a visit where she helps by the way, while my parents have come to specifically help me.

[niccig]

It depends.
If it's specifically to help us out, then we pay. If it's for a visit then MIL pays. Sometimes she pays if it's to help us out and it's time for her to visit anyway eg. She usually comes in Jan or Feb, so she might schedule her trip around any help we might need. We will pay for us much as we can when with ILs. Both SILs don't pay for anything and expect MIL/FIL to pick up the tab, and it drives DH nuts, he feels they take advantage. DS will be with MIL for a week and she's planning to take DS and DNeice on a roadtrip. We'll make sure to leave her with enough money to cover things for DS. MIL may not use it, but she'll have it just in case.

[jgenie]

With MIL we pay for everything. With my mom I try to pay for everything but she wants to pay and occasionally I don't fight her on it.

[hillview]

Depends on ability to pay I would think. If you can afford it than even if they can afford it I'd think you'd pay since it is a service to you etc. That said in some families I expect parents tend to pay for things like this. In our family my parents could not afford to pay for anything so we pay.
/hillary

[SnuggleBuggles]

I might be tempted to offer to split costs but I don't think I would pay the whole thing. If they are staying with you-- free room and board-- then I wouldn't pay their flight.
eta- I agree about ability to pay as well as if the trips wouldn't have happened if you hadn't needed it help. If they were due for a visit then I don't know.

Obviously not a situation we are in and back when we were I never thought about it. People always paid to fly to visit/ help and we didn't offer.
Beth

[egoldber]

When MIL/FIL come specifically to help us out (birth of a child, child care help, etc.) we pay for the flight. If she and/or FIL are coming just to visit, then they pay.

[mariza]

We have asked MIL to come on 2 occasions to help DH with kids while I travelled for work. We paid since we asked her. Guess how many times she has come to visit in the 4 years we've lived here. Exactly 2! I always tell her "you don't need to wait for us to need help to come visit" and she always says "oh, I know", but she never does. OTOH, SMIL is a retired airline employee and comes to visit all the time. It's easier and obviously less expensive for her. Her visits are more for the sake of visiting, but she always helps out when here as she and I have similar housekeeping styles (as in, we like to keep things neat and clean whereas MIL did not vacuum once in the 5 weeks I was gone)- that's another post though!
To answer your question I think if they come at your request, you should pay. If they offer to come, they pay travel and you pay meals and such.

[weech]

My ILs came to Florida last November for a week and helped a TON with DS and they paid for themselves... and actually took us out to dinner, too. They're also coming with us to Mexico in January and will pay their own way for everything. They wouldn't let us pay.

[g-mama]

Ours don't have to fly out, but if they did, I know we'd pay. We pay for everything for my MIL.

[crl]

Thanks you all! MIL is flying out specifically to take care of the baby so I can go to family camp with ds (dh has to work and there is no way I will do both kids by myself with no water in the cabins, a cafeteria style dining hall, a lake, etc, etc). I am very grateful. I was just a little surprised when dh emailed me to write her a check for her airfare.

When my parents have to come help after each baby came home, they paid their own way and I never even thought to offer to pay. MIL can definitely afford to pay (actually I am surprised she isn't using frequent flyer miles). but so can we. I am not at all put out, just surprised so I thought I'd ask here. :)

Catherine

[egoldber]

We typically do use FF miles, but I consider that "paying". ;)

[crl]

We typically do use FF miles, but I consider that "paying". ;)

Oh yeah, I would consider that paying too. I meant I would have guessed she was using her frequent flyer miles. The ticket is already booked so we can't use ours at this point. I am sure dh arranged all this with her. And it's fine. I was just surprised since my parents pay their own way.

Catherine