Bad words, potty talk

[khalloc]

I have a 5.5 year old and a 3 year old. They are feeding off each other lately saying bad words and just making up names and all of that. 3 year old called 5.5 year old "F-ing Noodle Head"!!!!! This was after just babbling all sorts of crazy made-up words. So I kind of think he just was saying things like mucking, pucking, and then F-ing...Of course we are in the car and DD(5.5) laughs at him. And I said firmly that she was not to repeat that word. She knows its bad. But 3 year old now thinks its funny. If it was just him I think we could ignore him and he would stop saying things because he wasnt getting a reaction. But since 5.5 year old reacts to him, what do we do?

The F word wasnt the only thing. Other things are poo-poo head, pee-pee, etc...He put his big rubber ball between his legs and said "hey DD, look at my big fat penis!" and of course she reciprocated with "look at my big fat vagina" OMG!!!!!!!!!! How do I put a stop to this?

I need some advice on the best way to handle this. DH took DS's prize Lightning McQueen umbrella away and that did the trick for one night but it hasnt deterred them since. Its been going on for about 4-5 days. What to do, what to do?

[brittone2]

What works best here is saying...well, you can say that, but just don't let me hear you say monkeyfeathers, or you will be in BIG trouble! and of course they say monkey feathers and I pretend that I'm all mad and get all dramatic about it. And then I pick a new "don't say" word and we keep going until they forget what they said in the first place. For us this works because it doesn't give undue attention to the original undesirable word. It is much more fun to handle it this way vs. punitively, and IME it works very well.

[carolinamama]

We are going through some potty talk problems at our house right now with our 2.5 yo especially. Of course the 2 boys feed off eachother too. I like Beth's suggestion and will have to try that one out. But what we did with DS1 and are now doing with DS2 (and it seems to be working) is to make the words less forbidded by having them said only in the bathroom. If said outside the bathroom, we have them go to the bathroom until they are finished saying the words. With DS1, I remember a phase where he would actually run into the bathroom and say whatever he wanted and then leave when he was done. I am trying very hard to not give attention to these words and it is especially hard when we are traveling in the car or somewhere that going into the bathroom is impossible. Oh, and yes, DS2 walked around the airport bathrooms saying "poopy diaper" to DS1 over and over. After traveling with the 2 kids for 5 days, I didn't care anymore.

[wolverine2]

We do the monkeyfeathers thing and it works in the moment, but my 3 and 6 year old call each other names all the time- they can't stop saying "stupid" and it drives me crazy. Most other names are made up- "goo goo ga ga head." What worked for my 6 yr old was having a contest to see who could say "stupid" the least. He stopped saying it almost immediately. Unfortunately, that doesn't developmentally work so well w/ the 3 yr old, who immediately increased saying it because we were keeping track. I just hope it's all a phase- and all the potty talk sounds even worse! Good luck! It's hard when one thing might work to curb it in one kid, but not the other.

[DietCokeLover]

Mine aren't saying curse words or anything like that, but they certainly seem to think saying things like pee pee and poo poo are a real hoot these days. I have been gently reminding them that those aren't really words that are funny and then try to point out words that are funny - for example, my dc think the word "pickle" is hysterical, so I start saying "pickle" in a bunch of different voices and they laugh hysterically.

[khalloc]

All good ideas, thanks! Sounds like a phase all kids go thru. I hope it doesnt last too too long!

[KpbS]

We have a strict no potty-talk rule we enforce. DS1's preschool teacher used to say potty-talk belongs in the potty and you aren't allowed to use it unless you are in the bathroom. I emphasize it isn't good manners esp. for the table, which for some reason, is where it seems to always come up. I send both to time-out if they get into a "he called me this!" war.

[elizabethkott]

Hoo boy, we've got the same going over here.
J's current favorites:
baby poopy diaper head
stinky diaper
baby diaper poopy face
(getting the theme?)
We do the "if you're going to talk like that, you can do it in the bathroom", which works occasionally. I think I'm going to have to try the monkeyfeathers approach.

[Simon]

Ds1 goes through phases where he likes potty humor. He is allowed to say it all in the bathroom. We give him free rein in there although he doesn't know any curse words. I'm not sure what we'd do about that. He did once say F**k. He was using his new phonetics skills to read a liscence plate. Great. :eyeroll.

He is not allowed to say anything unkind to or about someone. So unless it is a compliment or a neutral observation, it is not allowed. Ds1 is a rule follower so he usually just needs a reminder.

[cindys]

I am so glad I am not the only one going thru the "potty talk" stage!!!

This is new to me...I didnt go thru this with my 19 yr old but he was by himself and had no one to feed off of...

The 2 little ones are non stop talking like that...It gets on my nerves...UGH....

We try to redirect and it seems to be working but then once they get in the bathtub together to take their nightly baths they digress into their "potty talk"

I am happy to say I havent heard any "f-ing, penis or vagina" words...

Cindy
Mama to 3 boys...19, 5 & 2 :heartbeat::heartbeat::heartbeat:

[smilequeen]

Well, we haven't had the actual bad words yet, but potty talk, definitely.

I tell my boys those words are bathroom appropriate. If they'd like to use them they can go in the bathroom and use them. I also told my oldest son he could go to his room and get those words out of his system and then return. So far it works.

Of course, that led him to tell me in front of my cousin one day that he was going to his room to say bad words. I had to explain that one, but it gave everyone a good laugh.

[Jen841]

Potty Talk then come fart sounds. Everything can sound like a fart, and any ill odor smells like one.

Help!?

[lalasmama]

I was coming out of my front door at 7 years old. Being my clumsy self, I managed to slam my hand in the door. I started trying to figure out a non-sense word.... Mell, Dell, Bell, Jell, Kell... hell! "Hell!" I screamed, totally innocently. That was the only time my dad ever smacked my mouth, and I had no idea why.

That being said, DD has a fair idea of bad words. And she's used most of them, appropriately. When it happens, I tell her those are grown-up words, and if I hear them again, I won't listen to anything she says for x number of minutes. She has tested it once or twice, and quickly figured out saying "d@mn" isn't worth mom ignoring her for 6 minutes.

Potty words became a "great" game when we started sending her and her cousin to the bathroom if they were going to talk like that. They once stayed in there 20 minutes (!!!) saying potty words, giggling like it was the greatest thing in the world. DD has moved beyond it, more or less, but when her cousin or younger friends are here, I just tell them I don't wanna hear those words, and, so far, it's worked. I did threaten to send one little girl home when she wouldn't stop it, but once she heard I was willing to call her parents and have her go home, she shaped up.

[Uno-Mom]

Wow - you're all giving me good reason to stick with one child!:)

Except she's already saying "FART" and making "pbblltt" noises. Uh oh, must be bad parental influence. :)