what age for your kids to have their *own* email account? [Archive]

KrisM

05-10-2011, 01:22 PM

6 yrs old or 6th grade? Either way your son was too young per Facebook's Terms of Services. Users are to be 13 yrs or older according to their policy.

Unfortunately, a lot of people don't know that rule it seems. My nephews are 9 and 12 and both have accounts. I did mention to my brother that they were underage, per FB's rules, but he said he doesn't care and thinks since he thinks they're old enough, they can have an account. I think a lot of people think the rules are only guidelines. My kids will be 13 when they get them :).

AnnieW625

05-10-2011, 01:26 PM

DD1 has had her own email account since she 2 months old and I joined a local yahoo group. I don't use it for anything except her two frequent flier programs she belongs to. I have never sent an email from it.

I'll probably start letting her use an email account when she is 9 or 10 yrs. I think.

JBaxter

05-10-2011, 01:29 PM

6 yrs old or 6th grade? Either way your son was too young per Facebook's Terms of Services. Users are to be 13 yrs or older according to their policy.

yes 6 year old I know the ToS

ashleybama24

05-10-2011, 01:38 PM

Unfortunately, a lot of people don't know that rule it seems. My nephews are 9 and 12 and both have accounts. I did mention to my brother that they were underage, per FB's rules, but he said he doesn't care and thinks since he thinks they're old enough, they can have an account. I think a lot of people think the rules are only guidelines. My kids will be 13 when they get them :).

I do as well and it shocks me some of the things they post. They have no clue some employer will see it someday and be less than impressed. In fact my BIL (teacher) used FB last year to figure out who was having underage sex at their middle school. FB is always changing their privacy policies and I can barely keep up so no doubt a child wouldn't be able to either. What reason does a child have to be on a social networking site anyway? What happened to making friends at school?

g-mama

05-10-2011, 03:52 PM

Unfortunately, a lot of people don't know that rule it seems. My nephews are 9 and 12 and both have accounts. I did mention to my brother that they were underage, per FB's rules, but he said he doesn't care and thinks since he thinks they're old enough, they can have an account. I think a lot of people think the rules are only guidelines. My kids will be 13 when they get them :).

You are right. My 12-year-old niece has had a FB account since she was 11, I think, and I finally "hid" all of her posts b/c the things she was saying, or really, it was more the things her friends were saying, just disturbed me and stressed me out too much about what was in my future. I couldn't stand to see it anymore.

I have adult friends who have been 'friended' by the children of their friends - kids who are 9 and 10. They're not sure how to handle it. Some have accepted, others have ignored. None of them like it.

KrisM

05-10-2011, 04:00 PM

You are right. My 12-year-old niece has had a FB account since she was 11, I think, and I finally "hid" all of her posts b/c the things she was saying, or really, it was more the things her friends were saying, just disturbed me and stressed me out too much about what was in my future. I couldn't stand to see it anymore.

I have adult friends who have been 'friended' by the children of their friends - kids who are 9 and 10. They're not sure how to handle it. Some have accepted, others have ignored. None of them like it.

I am friends with my nephews. His parents asked me to, just to be another adult 'watching'. I have my settings so that they can't see my wall, since I don't think he needs to be my friend. I do go check on their wall every now and then.

infomama

05-10-2011, 04:06 PM

I'm not sure but this I am sure of......my computer will have keystroke software installed so I can monitor it.

SnuggleBuggles

05-10-2011, 04:08 PM

not even on my radar yet and ds1 is going on 9.

Beth

TwinFoxes

05-10-2011, 04:17 PM

My nephews are 9 and 12 and both have accounts. I did mention to my brother that they were underage, per FB's rules, but he said he doesn't care and thinks since he thinks they're old enough, they can have an account. I think a lot of people think the rules are only guidelines.

Personally, I think I make better parenting choices for my kids than some random person at FB, and your brother probably thinks that too. I'm not saying it's a good idea to have kids get a FB account younger than 13. But I think parents, knowing their kids and monitoring the account should make their own decisions. I get why people think of it as a guideline. If FB said kids could have an account at 2.5, I still wouldn't let DDs have one. :)

Same goes with email, I think it depends on the kid. My older DN had an email account starting around 10 I think. His younger brother does NOT have one at the same age. His parents just didn't think it was a good idea for him.

larig

05-10-2011, 04:38 PM

DS had an email account before he was born. I wanted to make sure he had hisfirstname.hislastnameATgmail.com, so I got it for him. He's 3, so not a big emailer yet! ;-)

KrisM

05-10-2011, 04:43 PM

Personally, I think I make better parenting choices for my kids than some random person at FB, and your brother probably thinks that too. I'm not saying it's a good idea to have kids get a FB account younger than 13. But I think parents, knowing their kids and monitoring the account should make their own decisions. I get why people think of it as a guideline. If FB said kids could have an account at 2.5, I still wouldn't let DDs have one. :)

I'd agree that I make better choices for my kids than a random person, but one of my parenting choices is to teach my kids that there are rules that have to be followed, regardless of whether I or they think there is a better choice. I might think it's fine for my 18 year old to go to a bar and drink, but that's against the rules so they can't. I might think my 14 year old can see an R rated movie, but again, they can't. So, if FB says 13 and I think my 7 year old should have an account, he won't because it's against the rules. I can't just make decisions based on what I think is good for my kids if they go against the rules of whatever it is we're talking about.

Cam&Clay

05-10-2011, 04:54 PM

DS1 got an email account when he was around 8 or so. I set it up so he could correspond with his stepdad in Iraq. I have the password and check it frequently.

JBaxter

05-10-2011, 05:01 PM

Personally, I think I make better parenting choices for my kids than some random person at FB, and your brother probably thinks that too. I'm not saying it's a good idea to have kids get a FB account younger than 13. But I think parents, knowing their kids and monitoring the account should make their own decisions. I get why people think of it as a guideline. If FB said kids could have an account at 2.5, I still wouldn't let DDs have one. :)

Same goes with email, I think it depends on the kid. My older DN had an email account starting around 10 I think. His younger brother does NOT have one at the same age. His parents just didn't think it was a good idea for him.

the main reason Nathan has one is he kept screwing up mine playing games. Everyone thought "I" was playing all the games ( not that I wasn't in to farmville & frontierville for a time) He's friends with family , a few if his friends ( yes many have facebook accounts) and even a few BBB momma's on here that are my friends and fellow gamers. Now no one wanders what Im doing playing facebook soccer. Its all set up as my account but its his sole use. He has NO idea what the rules are on age limits. He can play petville or which ever games he wants to his heart content. I could care less what others think of my letting him have one. HE's not getting harmed and it makes my life easier.
As for against the rules... well if thats the worst we do in in life ... we are OK.

giavila

05-10-2011, 05:14 PM

DD just turned 7 and she has just recently sent her first couple of emails using MY email account (she doesn't know the password so it's been under my supervision). We live 400 miles away from family and she's starting to appreciate the benefits of email. She has sent one to her grandma and her aunt. I don't think there is a need for her to have her own account for awhile though.. maybe 10 year old but I don't know for sure. I'm interested to see what other moms think...

Tondi G

05-10-2011, 05:36 PM

My DS is almost 10 and he got a g-mail account about 6 months ago. I have full access to his account and he is on it very infrequently. He has a facebook account as well and again is rarely on there. It all started cause he wanted his own farmville farm.

TwinFoxes

05-10-2011, 05:50 PM

I'd agree that I make better choices for my kids than a random person, but one of my parenting choices is to teach my kids that there are rules that have to be followed, regardless of whether I or they think there is a better choice. I might think it's fine for my 18 year old to go to a bar and drink, but that's against the rules so they can't. I might think my 14 year old can see an R rated movie, but again, they can't. So, if FB says 13 and I think my 7 year old should have an account, he won't because it's against the rules. I can't just make decisions based on what I think is good for my kids if they go against the rules of whatever it is we're talking about.

I'd agree that I make better choices for my kids than a random person, but one of my parenting choices is to teach my kids that there are rules that have to be followed, regardless of whether I or they think there is a better choice. I might think it's fine for my 18 year old to go to a bar and drink, but that's against the rules so they can't. I might think my 14 year old can see an R rated movie, but again, they can't. So, if FB says 13 and I think my 7 year old should have an account, he won't because it's against the rules. I can't just make decisions based on what I think is good for my kids if they go against the rules of whatever it is we're talking about.

*Not* being snarky. But how do you make sure that they aren't made vulnerable to being taken advantage of (not sexually) by a person in authority? I just think back to that McDonald's hoax, where someone called several McDonalds, pretending to be a cop, and got the employees to do all kinds of crazy things because they were told to by a "cop". I had a friend whose boss told her to climb into the dumpster to look for a plastic tab from a toner cartridge. She did it because she didn't know the boss was kidding (or so he claimed, I'm not sure he was kidding, he was a jerk). Anyway, when that McDonald's story was posted here, some people said it really made them think, because they might do the same.

I'm not a renegade rule breaker by any stretch of the imagination. But I do admit I don't think a FB rule carries the same weight as state law (drinking age). I'd probably stick to the FB 13 year old rule because I wouldn't want to deal with it during preteen years!

Sorry to go off topic OP. :)

KrisM

05-10-2011, 11:15 PM

*Not* being snarky. But how do you make sure that they aren't made vulnerable to being taken advantage of (not sexually) by a person in authority? I just think back to that McDonald's hoax, where someone called several McDonalds, pretending to be a cop, and got the employees to do all kinds of crazy things because they were told to by a "cop". I had a friend whose boss told her to climb into the dumpster to look for a plastic tab from a toner cartridge. She did it because she didn't know the boss was kidding (or so he claimed, I'm not sure he was kidding, he was a jerk). Anyway, when that McDonald's story was posted here, some people said it really made them think, because they might do the same.

I'm not a renegade rule breaker by any stretch of the imagination. But I do admit I don't think a FB rule carries the same weight as state law (drinking age). I'd probably stick to the FB 13 year old rule because I wouldn't want to deal with it during preteen years!

Sorry to go off topic OP. :)

I guess that goes to teaching 'common sense' and believing in yourself and being willing to stand up to what you know is right and wrong. In other words "if all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you"? You need to teach the kids not to jump off the bridge.

I agree it's not the same as a law, but it's still not my right to disregard FB's rules. I don't have to use FB if I disagree with their rules. But, if I'm going to use FB, then I should play by FB's rules. FB isn't a right or a necessity.

Other rules I follow that I see others not following: if my kids don't have socks, they don't play in the mall play area. If my child is 6, they don't go in the park for the kids under 4. My kids don't climb up slides at the playground. My kids don't stand in front of the 'do not feed the ducks' sign and feed the ducks (this one drives me nuts! One local park has that sign and so many ignore it). I explain that those are the rules for that place/situation and we follow the rules. I tell them that other families have decided not to follow the rules, but that doesn't mean we don't.

urquie

05-11-2011, 01:27 AM

thanks for all the replies!

niccig

05-11-2011, 02:49 AM

But I do admit I don't think a FB rule carries the same weight as state law (drinking age). I

Little bit of trivia - the 13 year limit on FB is because of a law. I heard it on the radio today. There's legislation that stated that for any child under 13 to use a website, the parents would have to agree and facebook has to have procedures in place to protect child's privacy etc. The law was passed in 1998, so before Internet was as widely used and way before Facebook or other social networking sites were around. Sites like Facebook didn't want to deal with this, so they make a rule that you must be 13. There's no way to enforce the 13 year rule. If they find out someone under 13 has an account, they have to suspend it and try to not let that person join again - I don't know how they could do that though.

Purpose of the law was to protect children's privacy, and to stop marketers etc getting all this information about our children and then using it - but obviously not working as kids are on facebook etc and with their parents knowledge.

I'm going to go by the know what your child is emailing/posting.

The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act of 1998

The act, effective April 21, 2000, applies to the online collection of personal information by persons or entities under U.S. jurisdiction from children under 13 years of age. It details what a website operator must include in a privacy policy, when and how to seek verifiable consent from a parent or guardian, and what responsibilities an operator has to protect children's privacy and safety online including restrictions on the marketing to those under 13. While children under 13 can legally give out personal information with their parents' permission, many websites altogether disallow underage children from using their services due to the amount of paperwork involved.

TwinFoxes

05-11-2011, 03:27 AM

Little bit of trivia - the 13 year limit on FB is because of a law.

As I understand it though, it's not illegal for parents to allow their kids on FB, the way it would be illegal for a kid to drink in a bar. It's still a FB rule, not law.

While children under 13 can legally give out personal information with their parents' permission, many websites altogether disallow underage children from using their services due to the amount of paperwork involved.

Pennylane

05-11-2011, 05:35 AM

My dd who is 9 has neither. I can't imagine a reason for her to have email or a FB account.

Ann

egoldber

05-11-2011, 06:29 AM

Before this year (4th grade), older DD did not have any need for one. But this year her friends started e-mailing each other to set up playdates, birthday parties, etc. She also likes to e-mail her grandparents.

firemama

05-11-2011, 10:01 AM

I guess that goes to teaching 'common sense' and believing in yourself and being willing to stand up to what you know is right and wrong. In other words "if all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you"? You need to teach the kids not to jump off the bridge.

I agree it's not the same as a law, but it's still not my right to disregard FB's rules. I don't have to use FB if I disagree with their rules. But, if I'm going to use FB, then I should play by FB's rules. FB isn't a right or a necessity.

Other rules I follow that I see others not following: if my kids don't have socks, they don't play in the mall play area. If my child is 6, they don't go in the park for the kids under 4. My kids don't climb up slides at the playground. My kids don't stand in front of the 'do not feed the ducks' sign and feed the ducks (this one drives me nuts! One local park has that sign and so many ignore it). I explain that those are the rules for that place/situation and we follow the rules. I tell them that other families have decided not to follow the rules, but that doesn't mean we don't.

:yeahthat: i agree with all of this. When DD is older, this will be us.

niccig

05-11-2011, 11:20 AM

As I understand it though, it's not illegal for parents to allow their kids on FB, the way it would be illegal for a kid to drink in a bar. It's still a FB rule, not law.

It is illegal for Facebook if they know a child is under 13 and keeps using the account.

It's one of those, you can't have it as it's illegal for us as we don't do x or y to protect children, but we can't know if you lied on your age when you signed up.

They could have kids, but they won't do what the law says for that to happen.

Social networking was never thought of when this law was passed. It's always a problem that technology is ahead of the law.

I wish people would be more careful with their privacy - when we hired college students at the library, we checked their FB pages. And nothing every really goes away with the Internet.

fedoragirl

05-11-2011, 12:10 PM

What I am getting from this discussion is that some parents choose certain rules/laws that they follow or obey while other parents follow ALL laws and rules. So essentially, every family is different although it leaves me wondering why these rules/laws were made in the first place if they are arbitrary for the general population.
I am one of those rule followes regardless of whether I like it or not. This is how I explained the no gum rule in our school. Yes, it does not hurt or harm anyone. It is annoying to get gum stuck on your foot or your clothes since there are SOME students who do put chewed gum where its not supposed to go. Unfortunately,we have to have rules for everyone because of these few students. Gum is also routinely put in CD drives and between keyboards which essentially damage the very expensive equipment. I know you don't do it but someone does and that is why we have rules.
I see the FB/email account thing in the same light.

egoldber

05-11-2011, 01:04 PM

In this case, the law is essentially for Facebook (and other on-line presences) not for parents. FB is not allowed to provide accounts for users under age 13. But there is no federal law prohibiting parents from setting up an account for their children. They are violating the terms of service for Facebook, but not any laws (that I am aware of).

TwinFoxes

05-11-2011, 01:55 PM

I see the FB/email account thing in the same light.

I don't. :)

A better analogy for me is, say some 16 year old wanted to see "The King's Speech", which is rated R. If that kid's parents thought it was OK for him/her to see that movie (which is rated R because the King uses the F words about 20 times in one scene with his therapist) without the parent, I wouldn't be up in arms. All the other examples people have given do impact someone else. Feeding ducks when you aren't supposed to is bad for ducks and bad for the homeowners who deal with duck poop. Climbing up slides, dangerous. Chewing gum, even if you're careful it can fall out of your mouth, plus it makes annoying noises. I don't think anyone said it's ok to disregard laws. But I do personally think there are situations where a parent can make a better decision for their kid than rule makers do. My kids aren't even 3, so it's really a non-issue. Well, actually, they have some non-choking hazard toys that are for ages three and up, so I guess I've started their life of rebellion already. Darn you wooden puzzles!

Roni

05-11-2011, 02:36 PM

Back to the original question, dd1 is in 5th grade & is turning 11. She doesn't have her own e-mail account, yet, but she has asked. I'm thinking about letting her, making it clear that I will be monitoring it. (I told her we'll talk about it when she cleans her room.)

ashleybama24

05-11-2011, 02:51 PM

I don't. :)

A better analogy for me is, say some 16 year old wanted to see "The King's Speech", which is rated R. If that kid's parents thought it was OK for him/her to see that movie (which is rated R because the King uses the F words about 20 times in one scene with his therapist) without the parent, I wouldn't be up in arms. All the other examples people have given do impact someone else. Feeding ducks when you aren't supposed to is bad for ducks and bad for the homeowners who deal with duck poop. Climbing up slides, dangerous. Chewing gum, even if you're careful it can fall out of your mouth, plus it makes annoying noises. I don't think anyone said it's ok to disregard laws. But I do personally think there are situations where a parent can make a better decision for their kid than rule makers do. My kids aren't even 3, so it's really a non-issue. Well, actually, they have some non-choking hazard toys that are for ages three and up, so I guess I've started their life of rebellion already. Darn you wooden puzzles!

What about drinking before they are 21? Not technically hurting someone else unless they decide to do something like drink and drive. Or doing drugs or rolling a stop sign in an empty parking lot? Stealing but not getting caught? If you teach your kids some rules are ok to break, how do you teach them to obey others?

I guess I just don't see the point of children being allowed on Facebook or having an email account even to coordinate play dates; which to me still require parent involvement to schedule.

TwinFoxes

05-11-2011, 03:06 PM

What about drinking before they are 21? Not technically hurting someone else unless they decide to do something like drink and drive. Or doing drugs or rolling a stop sign in an empty parking lot? Stealing but not getting caught?

All those examples are laws. I give a turn signal in empty lots, that's how dorky I am. Like I said more than once, I don't think anyone's advocating breaking laws. And I'm not even advocating people get FB accounts for their <13 kids. I just understand why a parent, knowing their kid and their own situation, can decide to get them a FB account. You think that same parent shouldn't break a rule under any circumstance. Different strokes.