When is the right time to start team sports?

[wimama]

Many of my DS friends are starting to play team sports like soccer and t-ball. We will likely sign him up for his schools T-ball because it is very low key, only a few weeks long and supposedly more of a social activity. DS hasn't really expressed an interest in team sports, but said he would want to play T-ball with his friends.

But, I just don't feel the need for him to start a bunch of team sports at 5 years old. Soccer seems really big here even in K4, but also sounds like a big commitment with two practices a week and at least one game on the weekends. I am thinking having him in sports like swimming and Tae Kwon Do will help develop his coordination, core muscles and discipline. And, team sports can come later? Am I nuts?

Also, I don't like the idea of overwhelming my DS with too many activities. We do swimming in the summer and I am thinking we will start him in Tae Kwon Do in the fall. He has a really long day at school starting at 7:35 and he goes to after school care afterward. Two WOH parents makes for not too much down time, which I feel is important. I talked to a football coach at one of the prestigious local high school teams around our metro area about when to start DS into football if he wants to play. His answer was high school or junior high. Kids will excel if they have the athletic ability and he didn't feel starting them early helped. That kind of stuck with me.

How many activities do your elementary kids participate in?

Do you think starting team sports at a young age gives kids an advantage later when they are older?

What do you think the best age to start team sports is?

[brittone2]

nak-
DS1 never expressed an interest in team sports. I'd offer and he would decline. He is very, very active (cycling, lots of major outdoor play, etc) and is fairly athletic, but just didn't seem to want to do a team sport. And I didn't want to be stuck trying to decide when/if to quit if he wasn't enthused.

When he opted to skip tee ball, I was a little worried we'd regret it and that he'd have a tough time joining a team later.

Fast forward, this year he was really enthused about joining Little League. The sign ups were right around his 7th bday. When we spoke w/ the staff, they mentioned that sometimes they have the kids play tee ball if they've never played, and sometimes they just go right to coach pitch. THey had my DS1 throw and bat with the traveling team coach who decided that he would do just fine in coach pitch, and it was the right decision. He jumped right into playing and is average or slightly above on his team, which I'm thrilled w/ since this is his first year and the team is 7 and 8 yo kids. He loves it, he met some great friends, and not playing tee ball was not a hindrance at all...he got up to speed very quickly.

I know lots of people feel it is essential to have their kids involved with a team sport, but I really wanted DS1 to be enthused and he just wasn't. He also has gained a lot of emotional maturity in the past year or two that has helped IMO (whereas striking out, getting called out, etc. may have been tougher on him a year ago I think).

With respect to what you said about the coach saying starting early doesn't help, my PT self tends to agree. DH and I do not want our kids overtraining, etc. and would prefer more general work on balance, coordination, etc. though something like TKD (my kids don't take it, but I see the value and feel the benefits would translate to other sports). Our area has traveling team tryouts for 8 yos for baseball and DH and I aren't sure we would even want DS1 to try out next year. I'm not ready to commit to that level, quite honestly. On the flip side, I guess in some areas the politics in sports begin early and not playing in those early years may have an impact on things down the road...kwim?

[Melanie]

My response is: "When they ask for it...several times...for a while."

Ds was 8 when he asked to join team sports. He was really motivated, HE wants to be there, he pays attention and he has learned a lot.

I can't imagine having started younger or with a child who isn't motivated to be there, though I've certainly seen lots of it.

So, IMHO, starting early to me is still age 8, LOL, but I'm guessing others mean earlier. In his instance, other than throwing the ball around a little at home, he didn't play until 8 and he was one of the best on his team. This year he is one of the youngest on his team and still one of the best. I don't think it matters when they start. There is another boy on his team, I think he's 11 or so - never played before, but you know what? He still made the cuts for their division (there is a level for kids who are new or just need some extra time which is "below" my son's level), and he tries so hard and is doing so well. You wouldn't know this is his first season.

Also, many leagues have Fall or Winter Ball and/or off-season clinics. This is what we did first with our son, and it really helped that he knew a little bit what he was doing when it was time for the season to start. I highly recommend it. Plus it gives you a little insight into the league you are thinking of joining and how the coaches behave.

Timewise, it's still a big commitment, even at age 8 in baseball, and even moreso this year. Going to all the games and practices and trying to keep a younger sibling happy is sucking the life out of me (can you tell we just got home at nearly 8 pm on a SCHOOL night). But my son loves it, and I love watching him love playing.

[bubbaray]

I think skill-wise, kids definitely can pick up pretty much any sport and excell in jr high, sometimes later.

I think the politics of kids sports, however, mean that you kinda have to pay your dues. I know for a fact that soccer and hockey are like that here. Kids start playing both before they are in school. That is the expected route if you want to play seriously. I don't agree with it, but that's the way it is.

[liz]

This is a timely post for me. My oldest DS has little to no interest in team sports. We have signed him up for swim and soccer clinics, and while he said he enjoyed them, he did not want to join the league. DS1 is very active, but is more reserved when it comes to things like this.

Sometimes DH and I feel maybe we should push him and sign him up anyway, but mostly we feel like we understand where he is coming from.

OTOH, DS2 already wants to sign up for T-Ball and soccer and I have a feeling he will do really well with them. So right now, we just go with our gut and listen to the kids- but I have to say I do sometimes have some guilt wondering if we are doing the right thing for DS1, kwim?

[Simon]

From a developmental standpoint (and my reading in sports research) the age where most kids are ready to fully grasp team play is about 8 years old.

They can participate on a team before then, obviously, but to really understand the multiple positions, strategy, etc. think most kids begin to get this stuff at 8+. Starting later (or earlier) isn't bad, its just a different experience.

Unless you have a burning desire to start now, there isn't any harm (and some benefit) to waiting.

[egoldber]

I am thinking about this now as well. My oldest DD who is, to be extremely charitable, not athletic just expressed a very strong interest in playing soccer. I think part of this is 2 or 3 girls in her circle also play and so she finds the idea appealing. They have also been playing soccer in PE and she has really enjoyed it.

But before this year, she would have simply not been ready. The stress of winning and losing and taking coaching direction would have been too much for her. Honestly, I'm still not sure she is emotionally ready for that. And the fact that the league play requires a time commitment I am simply not ready to give!

I am looking for a low key way for her to gain some soccer skills over the summer. One reason we avoided it is the uber competitiveness of some parents, especially in this heavily Type A area! But I was chatting with some parents recently who told me that age 9/10 was actually a good time for non-athletic kids to join the community leagues because all the really good kids and competitive parents have moved on to travel soccer teams and the kids left in the community leagues are the ones who just want to run around and kick the ball. :ROTFLMAO:

[lhafer]

Well, my DD1 is in soccer right now, and she's 5. She's also been in gymnastics, dance (tried ballet/tap and hip hop), she's had tennis lessons, and she's in swim lessons now also.

For me it was never about "team" sports. It's about letting her try different things she's interested in, or I thought she would be interested in (and might not know about).

She started in gymnastics around 3 years old. She did about 1.5 years of this. She loved it, and it helps her gross motor skilled immensely. I really saw an improvement. Then she was tired of it and we stopped that.

She LOVES to dance, so we tried dance lessons - ballet/tap first. She was NOT into that and we did not persue it further than the first semester session. Later on she tried Hip Hop, and while she really liked it - the kids were a little older and more coordinated than she was (even though it was for 4-5 yr olds, I think there were older kids in there). And she would get super frustrated she couldn't do the moves exactly right.

She did some tennis lessons (I happen to win them in a raffle - 4 lessons total) and she REALLY enjoyed it!! Had soccer season not been starting the next week, I would have continued with those.

I chose soccer for her because she had mentioned in passing multiple times. And it's something she can do to help release some of her energy. We have practice once a week, and games on saturday. If you have to be gone - we just let the coach know. I do like that she's getting to be around a team sport where working with your teammates helps you win the game. But I don't expect her to understand strategy, etc at this point. It's basically kick the ball, run down the field (in the right direction), and try to score a goal. The end. She enjoys it - but liked tennis better (she was good at it).

If you are looking for team sports from the aspect of team building, team work, strategy, etc - then a little older is better. But IMO, it doesn't hurt to have them introduced to the concept of helping out a team member to win a game (non-strategically). And I think games like soccer and t-ball are GREAT for younger kids for those kinds of reasons - as long as it's not competitive and is very positive. The soccer league my daughter is in is called Fun-Fair Positive Soccer (FFPS) and they are VERY strict on how the parents can act - can only say positive things, act in a positive manner, etc. My friend has her son in T-Ball (he's 4.5 years old) and he loves it as well.

[SnuggleBuggles]

We started soccer at 5yo but it was total rec. in my area. There are a few leagues but our neighborhood one had practice 1 night/ week and 1 game/ week. I thought it was a great way to get involved with a team sport as it was really fun and really light on commitment. If you can find something like that, I'd consider it b/c it is a great way to meet new people and have fun. I wouldn't want more than that unless my kid really, really, really had a burning desire to do it. And if they did, something else would get cut b/c I realy try not to overschedule, especially a 5yo.

Beth

[tribe pride]

Ugh, this is something I've been thinking about lately, and I don't know what the answer is. In my experience, it seems like most kids start some sort of sport around age 4 or 5, and many start younger. Particularly for the more popular sports, like baseball (for boys) or soccer, it often feels like if you don't start early, then your kid has a much smaller likelihood of being able to play in HS, since they won't have acquired the skills to compete with kids on their teams who have played for years, done travel teams, etc.

Personally, I am not a fan AT ALL of this tendency, because I think it puts pressure on kids at too early an age, and can be very stressful for families, cutting in to family "down time." My oldest is almost 3, so we haven't had to make any sports decisions yet, but I know the day will come soon. DS LOVES sports, particularly soccer, and wants to play ALL.THE.TIME. around the house and with his dad (DH is a HS teacher and coaches soccer at his school). At this point, I'm planning on waiting a few years before DS joins an organized team, at least until kindgergarten, and even then it would likely only be a once or twice a week, only during the summer type of thing.

PP's comments that kids do fine waiting until mid elementary school before starting sports is resassuring to me. I DO NOT want to get onto the pushy parent bandwagon, and feel compelled to sign my kids up for sports at age 2 just so they can make the HS team! However, I do have to say that my parent's never signed me up for sports growing up, and in retrospect I really wish they had. By the time I wanted to play and try out for the school team (8th and 9th grade), my skill level was too far below the other girls and I didn't have much chance of making the team. Even a couple of years of experience before then would have helped me tremendously in gaining confidence and skill. So while I don't know that I have any particular advice for you, I just wanted to share my experience, and say that while I don't think you need to sign your DS up for sports at age 5 unless you want to, IMO, it should be done before MS, both for social and skill reasons. Sports can be such a big part of "boy culture," I want to give DS the opportunity to learn and participate when the time comes.

[jenmcadams]

A couple of thoughts. I played sports in high school and college and while it's different now, I also know several families with kids who are playing high school sports who have grown up in this more competitive sports culture. I do believe that a strong athlete can catch up (and play sports in high school and beyond) if they wait to start playing sports until later elementary/middle school, but it will take them a few seasons to catch up. I don't think starting at 8 or 9 is late by any means, but in some sports where kids have been playing for several years, it could take a season or two to get the skills. I think the biggest benefits to early sports (for kids who want to play and don't get burnt out) can be seen with average athletes. For a sport like soccer where the footwork and skills are so much more advanced at an early age than they were 20 years ago, having been doing footwork drills and 1-on-1 skills since age 7 can help when those kids go to try out in high school. Do I think that means kids should play in K? No. If they want to play and enjoy it and are able to pay attention, they should play. Otherwise, you should wait. I say this as a parent and a coach. If the child isn't ready to follow directions, work with their teammates, and have a good attitude, then waiting makes the most sense.

My DD started soccer in Spring of K and her team is still together now at the end of the 3rd grade. 7 of the original 8 girls are still on the team and as we've moved up in game size/team size, we've added girls and rarely lost any players (3 total over 7 outdoor seasons and 4 indoor seasons). The team is currently made up of 14 girls and my DH is the head coach. The range of abilities on our team is huge, but all girls can play pretty well. In our area, competitive officially starts in 5th grade (so tryouts in 4th), but they start having leveled divisions in 3rd grade. Our team plays in the lowest of the three "competitive divisions" which we did on purpose. After the Spring Season, it's obvious, we should have gone up one more division, but the girls have had fun and the slower game allowed them to improve passing and positioning skills. One of the biggest reasons we ended up keeping our girls down a division in the Spring was we did a winter indoor season in a more competitive division which also included boys teams and the girls just got demoralized. My DD loves soccer and my DH loves coaching the team and they both considered hanging it up. Spring has re energized them and they're looking forward to 4th grade (last year before the team will be split up by tryouts).

On the other hand, my DS is one of those go with the flow kids who doesn't seem particularly athletic. He'll be 6 in June and has played a ton of sports (mostly b/c one of our close family friends has a girl his age who is super athletic and the family friend has coached every sport known to man :)). My DS has played two seasons of basketball, 2-3 seasons of soccer, T-Ball, and Flag Football. We're just finishing up a season of soccer where I coached the team and it might be his last organized sport for a while. He just doesn't really enjoy it that much. He's taking a Boy's Hip Hop class right now and loves that and his studio is thinking about adding some sort of Boy's aggressive tap class that he might take.

I think the most important thing is to gauge your child's interests/ability to participate and go with what they want. I'm the first to admit that I think part of why my DD got burnt out with soccer this winter was that we play too much. Our team was doing Fall and Spring Outdoor and two sessions of Indoor and she chose to do summer camps and supplemental skills camps on Sundays in winter. It was too much. For some kids, they're so into soccer, that they wanted all of that. But, for her, soccer is something she likes, not loves. It sounds crazy to write down all that she was doing now...she's an above average player, but not a super star by any means and it was too much.

It's a tough thing to figure out and every kid is different...

[lablover]

Both of my kids started with soccer at 3.5, but our county has a program called mini soccer. It lasts 7 weeks and consists of one 45 minute Saturday practice. It is low key, they don't really play soccer, just lots of little games while kicking the ball around. That program is for 3-5 year olds. At 5.5, DS started t-ball. Now, DS generally does one sport per season (flag football, basketball, baseball). Up until this current season for baseball, it consisted of 1 weekday practice and one weekend game. Now we are at 2 weekday plus 1 weekend. It is important for me that he stays involved in team sports because he is very shy and experiences social anxiety at times. Playing on a team has helped him in this area so much. He is athletically inclined so it has been a confidence builder for him too. And he loves any and all sports so it is something he enjoys doing.

[wimama]

My DH and I discussed things I and I think we will let DS participate in T-ball. The T-ball is a school activity and is purely for fun and more a social experience for the younger kids. I don’t think they play another other school’s teams, just play some games together with the other students from our school. I have talked to the other mom’s who said if you want a serious team little league experience, this isn’t it. It only meets once a week for a few weeks in the spring and fall and is mainly K4, K5 and first graders. So, it sounds like a perfect intro to team sports. And, DS has expressed interest in baseball and said he would be willing to try T-ball.

Soccer unless DS asks about it I don’t think we will suggest soccer as an activity. DS has never mentioned soccer or mentioned his friends playing soccer, despite his friends talking about soccer often. With his body type I don’t think this is sport he would naturally excel at. He is tall, husky and muscular and because of this size he is not a very fast runner. I think he would be better suited to other sports. And, in our area I think the time commitment is pretty big on this. Twice a week practice and weekend games spread all over a large metro area even for 4 and 5 year olds. Lots of driving and searching for soccer fields. There is a fall session and spring season and as they get older an indoor winter season. So, with limited family time as it is, unless he expresses an interest in soccer, we will not suggest it to him.

Swimming is non-negotiable summer activity for DS. I feel it is an important life skill and we live near several bodies of water. Besides that DS enjoys swimming, so much so, DS had tears in his eyes when the neighborhood pool closed at the end of the summer last year. :ROTFLMAO:

Tae Kwon Do is something DH and I feel would be a good activity for him. My DS has ADD tendencies and I think Tae Kwon Do would help him improve his ability to concentrate as well as help develop his core muscles and coordination. The Tae Kwon Do school we have been looking is very big on promoting discipline and respect in class, at school and at home. DS had one friend at the school at the beginning of the school year and now has two more friends going there. All the parents have reported positive experiences, compared to what I have heard of other local martial arts schools. It requires a 1 or 3 year contract, so we have been waiting to see how his other friends and their parents like it, before making such a big time and monetary commitment. DS has watched a demonstration at his school and participated in a mini-class at his friend’s birthday party and he seems to really like it. DS eagerly said yes, when I asked if he wanted to take Tae Kwon Do. So, I think we will start him in Tae Kwon Do in the fall, once his swimming lessons are over.

For the next few years I don’t really want him doing more than one or tops two activities at the same time, because I don’t want to over-schedule our DS or family. He will have more opportunities for participating in team sports. Starting in 5th grade, his private Catholic school offers basketball, track and volleyball. The basketball being so popular they have a boys and girls teams for each grade, so lots of opportunities to participate for all the students. DS is the type of kid that likes to try new things, and is usually up for new experiences. I can see him not wanting to stop any of the activities he tries. So for now, I want to be selective in letting him try activities I think he will enjoy the most and get the most benefit from.

Thanks everyone, this post has really helped me think things through and come up with a game plan.

[wellyes]

If you want the kid to play hockey, I'd suggest skating lessons by age 5. The earlier they start the easier it is.

[fivi2]

I think there are a ton of variables. A lot depends on your dc, of course.

But I hear people saying they don't want to push their kids early into high pressure sports, etc. In my limited experience (my 5yos and my older nephews) the sports at the young ages haven't been ultra-competitive or high pressure. Soccer is just a couple kids on the field running around - no goalies and no scorekeeping. Some kids (like one of my dds) do get sad if they don't score or lose the ball, but I kind of feel like she is learning a good lesson in a low pressure environment. But I am sure it is different in different areas.

My girls usually do one activity at a time, especially now that I am woh. We alternate between soccer, gymnastics, and swimming (not swim team, just lessons/recreational). We tried dance, but it didn't work out. None of the sports have been super time consuming or high pressure.

But for my nephews who are upper-elementary and middle school, I would say it started to change around 4th grade. Things became more time consuming and more competitive. This is all just based on my experiences and may not be true elsewhere!

[dogmom]

I would say things can depend on your area. Here baseball can be competitive, even T-ball more than soccer. Coaches actually "scout" t-ball for kids they want on their team the following year. Our soccer starts young 4.5 years, but it's just practice and scrimmages for two years before there is any real team play, that starts later. This is the first year with a practice + game a week (he is 8). In 3rd grade they start to break the girls and boys apart and actual break teams up on ability. My big things is a sport that has a lot of running and actually work out, so I like soccer. My son really likes basketball which started just this year with practices, next year it actually starts being something. I've ruled out football and hockey for concussions. I'd love to sign him up for some martial art, but at this stage we really can't afford it, the team sports are much cheaper.

[smilequeen]

My son was ready to start some team sports at around 5ish. He did little league last year (so at almost 5.5) and this year. Last summer he took ice skating lessons and he learned to skate very easily, he was a natural and fell in love with it so he asked for hockey lessons and he's on a hockey team now. Otherwise he's done swimming lessons (non negotiable for us too) and gymnastics just b/c I think the early gymnastics skills are very useful. DS2 has no interest in team sports. He does swimming and gymnastics. Maybe next year he'll be interested in little league or hockey, maybe not. He is asking for karate so we'll probably do that.

I do think a lot can be learned from team sports but there are a lot of individual sports with group lessons that serve a similar purpose IMO. We've also done soccer classes at different times but never a soccer team. Neither show any interest.

Around here it seems like baseball, soccer, and hockey get competitive too early. I don't love it, the hockey parents drive me nuts sometimes. But DS1 is absolutely in love with playing and it's worth it.

[wimama]

If you want the kid to play hockey, I'd suggest skating lessons by age 5. The earlier they start the easier it is.

I completely agree with that. I used to be a figure skater and I didn't start skating lessons until junior high. I loved it and went on to compete in high school and college in adult competitions. But, it takes quite a while to learn to use and trust the edges on your blades and develop the power to skate effectively. It is fairly common knowledge in women's figures skating if you can't land all your triple jumps by the time you hit puberty it is unlikely you will learn. It is easier to learn those big jumps when you don't have as much body to haul into the air.:p


I would say things can depend on your area. Here baseball can be competitive, even T-ball more than soccer. Coaches actually "scout" t-ball for kids they want on their team the following year. Our soccer starts young 4.5 years, but it's just practice and scrimmages for two years before there is any real team play, that starts later. This is the first year with a practice + game a week (he is 8). In 3rd grade they start to break the girls and boys apart and actual break teams up on ability. My big things is a sport that has a lot of running and actually work out, so I like soccer. My son really likes basketball which started just this year with practices, next year it actually starts being something. I've ruled out football and hockey for concussions. I'd love to sign him up for some martial art, but at this stage we really can't afford it, the team sports are much cheaper.

I will let my DS try any sport he wants to. But, so far the only team sports he has expressed interest in are baseball and football. Twice last week he hauled out his little tykes T-ball set and bat and was swinging away. So, since he seems interested, we will sign him up for t-ball. If he really likes it after a year or so we will look into the little league teams. The risk of head injuries in football scares me too, but DS likes football and knowing my DS I can totally see him playing it when he gets older. If he wants to play I will let him and buy him the best anti-concussion helmet I can buy. His cousin suffered a few concussions playing high school football, but once he got one of those special helmets, he never had another. The reason we held off on Tae Kwon Do for so long was the cost and time commitment. But, my DS has some definite ADD tendencies. We changed his diet and that helped him, if Tae Kwon Do might help him I am willing to try it. We will just tweak our budget and schedules to make it happen for him. Besides it looks like a lot of fun for him and we have a months free trial for him to try it out.;)

I guess my game plan is to follow his lead for the most part, limiting the number of activities he can participate in at one time.