Telling DS1 about our friend's daugther this afternoon

[DebbieJ]

Ugh....these are the parenting moments you are never prepared for.

We are going to tell DS1 about the death of our friends daughter this afternoon.

Send your good thoughts our way.

[KpbS]

Praying for you (and him) that the conversation goes as well as possible. :hug:

[SnuggleBuggles]

That is so hard. I am sorry. :(

Beth

[WatchingThemGrow]

that's so hard. I'm sorry you have to have that conversation. :hug:

[egoldber]

I am so sorry.

I will just say that it is OK to show him that you are sad and for him to be sad. Modeling grief for children is just as important as modeling any other behavior. :grouphug:

[WolfpackMom]

Im so sorry that this happened and will be thinking of you and DS today, I know that is going to be so hard.:hug:

[kdeunc]

I will be thinking of you. I really can't even imagine having that conversation.:hug:

[DietCokeLover]

Thinking of you both.

[MoJo]

Praying for you, and the little girl's family too.

[TwinFoxes]

I'm sorry you both have to face this. :hug: P&PT for her family.

[sariana]

We recently discussed grief and death in my parenting class.

I don't know what the relationship was between your DS and your friend's daughter, but one thing we talked about is the importance of letting children know that it was not their fault. If there is any chance your DS may have been having any negative feelings at all toward this child, he may internalize that into "It was my fault because I was mad at her/was jealous of her/had an argument with her" or something along those lines.

It was really good advice. We never know what our DC might be thinking. Someone asked the teacher whether mentioning "It's not your fault" might plant that thought in your child's head. She said, "NO; it's already there."

I'm sorry for your family's and your friend's family's loss. I just wanted to mention the above because it never would have occurred to me, but apparently it is common for children to feel this way.

[tiapam]

sending pt your way. that is such a heartbreaking story.

[avsrocks]

Definitely depends on your beliefs and how close they were. Also, I'd check out books at the local library both on 'how to' and the (child version) kind. I know TCF The Compassionate Friends, non-profit organization, has their own little library where I have seen ref books on this. TCF has local chapters in the chgo land area and would prob loan you one if you can't find any. They are a very supportive grief support group for parents who have lost a child due to any reason.

[firemama]

I have been thinking a lot about your family and your friend's family. It has to be so hard. I hope it went okay this afternoon and that your DS copes well. Take care!.:hug:

[BabyH]

Your story has affected me since the moment I read it. I immediately called DH at work after I read it. And yesterday we had our handyman give us an estimate for a fence for our front yard where DS and I spend all of our time...

I'm so sorry you have to do this. It's heartbreaking and just so, so tragic.

[DebbieJ]

Thanks everyone. We told him today after school and it went okay. He didn't have much of a reaction yet. I'm sure it's still coming. He often takes his time processing stuff and then he'll talk about it when we're winding down at bedtime.

[SnuggleBuggles]

A classmate of ds1's was killed in a car accident 2 years ago. He was not really friends with her so maybe that is the reason he never really had trouble with it. He has asked about her death and the accident several times over time but he never got upset or worried like I expected

Beth