CIO questions and advice needed.

[jmestyle]

My 4mo old is still relying on me nursing him to sleep.The nights are so bad.We are up every 2hrs :(

So last night I tried just putting him in his crib and letting him CIO.It took 10min and he was asleep (I did go in there 2x and just kinda held his hand)
An hour later he woke right up.Crying.Am I suppose to do it all over again and let him cry? I ended up just taking him out and nursing him.After he fell asleep I held him for an hour or 2 and then put him in the pack n play (by this time it was only 9pm).He slept in the pnp until 11:30pm.I fed him and changed him and then tried having him sleep in the crib again.He moaned around for about an hour and then finally fell asleep.
2hrs later, he was up.At this time I just brought him out in the living room and had him sleep in the cradle swing.Normally he takes naps in there and I know its a sure thing for him to fall asleep.
So what do I do?!
I need him to sleep in the crib but he doesn't know how to fall asleep on his own and then once he does, he wakes up and we need to do it all over again

[Green_Tea]

If he's been used to nursing to sleep and at night for 4 months, he might be waking up because he is used to eating at night and is genuinely hungry. He would benefit from front loading during the day - extra nursing sessions to make sure he's getting extra calories during daylight hours.

Beyond that, though, 4 months is still very young for CIO. Many 4 month olds still need those nighttime feedings, and it is not unusual for them to still nurse to sleep at that age. Hang in there - it gets easier :hug:.

[BabyBearsMom]

We did Ferber (modified CIO) with DD but not until she was older (6 or 7 months I think). I know that the nights suck, but I would start by trying to reduce the number of feedings at night, and offering more feedings during the day, rather than just going cold turkey one night.

[wellyes]

The purpose of CIO is to teach babies to self-sooth, and I think 4 months is just too young for him to be able to do it consistently and effectively. I'd hold off for another 6-8 weeks until he's developmentally there. Don't torture yourself with long nights like the one you just had (BTDT) until he's ready.


Are you a WOHM? It's very common for working moms to have babies who nurse heavily at night right when the go back to work. It's so hard. I think the key to breaking that pattern - getting a baby back to sleep without nursing - is having the non-nursing parent do the soothing. If you're there, your touch and voice and scent all make him think of milk. A few nights of Dad rocking and humming the baby to sleep would really help. It's hard on both of them, but it really works. The baby doesn't get to eat at night so he eats more during the day to compensate, so he isn't so hungry at night, and everyone sleeps better.

Google "reverse cycling" to learn more about it.

[jmestyle]

I also thought 4mo was too young but the pedi said I should start now.everythhing I read also says at 3-4mo they should learn to self soothe.

I have my own business and make my own hours.I work pt if that.I am always around for him and his feedings.I actually don't mind nursing him to sleep at night.I like it.I just wish he would stay sleeping or go back to sleep once the nursing is done.He wakes right up when I put him down.
I have tried giving a bottle before bed (both BM and formula), and it was the same thing.I still needed to nurse him even after the bottle

[BabyBearsMom]

I also thought 4mo was too young but the pedi said I should start now.everythhing I read also says at 3-4mo they should learn to self soothe.

Sometimes you have to follow your instincts and do what you think is best for the baby. I generally follow our pedi's advice, but my opinion is that as the mom, I know DD better than anyone else on earth. I know what she needs and what she is ready for. If it is a life or death situation or health related, I do listen to the pedi, but sleeping through the night at 4 months isn't life or death IMO (although there have been points where I would kill for a full night of sleep).

[Green_Tea]

Sometimes you have to follow your instincts and do what you think is best for the baby. I generally follow our pedi's advice, but my opinion is that as the mom, I know DD better than anyone else on earth. I know what she needs and what she is ready for. If it is a life or death situation or health related, I do listen to the pedi, but sleeping through the night at 4 months isn't life or death IMO (although there have been points where I would kill for a full night of sleep).

:yeahthat:

If there was one thing that I wish someone had told me when DD1 was born 8.5 years ago, it would be that pediatricians are not sleep or behavioral experts. Some of them give terrific advice, and some of the give lousy advice. Dr. Richard Ferber - who literally wrote the book (http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Childs-Sleep-Problems/dp/0743201639/ref=tmm_pap_title_0) on CIO - does not recommend starting until babies are 6 months old.

There's a world of difference between working on good sleep habits at 4 months - by establishing a bedtime and nap routine and sticking to a schedule, getting out of the habit of naps being in the swing/car/stroller, working on feeding more during the day and less at night - and CIO, which is something you work up to after establishing the other habits.

Rome wasn't built in a day ;).

[mmsmom]

I highly recommend reading the Ferber book... It will answer a lot of your questions about the CIO method. That said I do agree 4 months is just too young to expect results. There are other factors besides age too... Weight & how much they are eating during the day. DS started sleeping through the night on his own around 6 months, With DD I did the Ferber method around 8 months. They both continued to nurse to sleep even after they were sleeping through the night. The Ferber book also talks about doing CIO while also still nursing at night too for those babies that need the nighttime feedings.