Don't flame me

[hillview]

I miss my old life.

DH and I just came back from a long weekend away in Miami (no kids). I miss my old life. I LOVE my kids, don't get me wrong. But I miss my old life. Hit the gym every day for 1.5 hrs, sleep in on weekends, do what I want to do. Work all that I want to and enjoy alone time with DH. No parents living in my house. No major responsibilities.

I am just having one of those days.
/hillary

[weech]

I hear ya. I just got back from a vacation with just DH and I to Cancun, and it was phenomenal. We used to travel like that all the time with no worries at all, and I miss it too.

[BabyH]

I totally understand. I went away for a few days and hung out with old friends, did my own thing... I was on my own schedule and did whatever I wanted.

When I came back, I was in a serious funk for about a week. It's hard to think about my old life... or what I'd be doing now if I wasn't married or have DS. Sometimes it makes me sad.... but not sad enough to where I second guess my choices or path. And DH understood - he thought the way I was feeling was normal. Good luck :hug:

[arivecchi]

I hear ya. Don't feel bad for feeling that way. Parenting is a huge trade-off. Lots of fun but so much responsibility and work. I definitely envy how carefree my childless friends are.

[bubbaray]

I totally understand. :hug:

[SnuggleBuggles]

I missed that phase of life so I can't miss it now. But, it sounds nice and I can understand the feelings you have now. I hope it fades soon.

Beth

[golightly1118]

No flames from me! I'm going away for a girl's weekend in about a month and cannot wait to sleep in, eat meals at my own pace without having to cut up another meal into bite-size pieces first, and spend two days without a little person crawling on me, pulling my hair/ears/glasses and pinching me (trying to discipline a fifteen month old is challenging, to say the least).

[lhafer]

No flames from me!

This is probably the #1 reason I have yet to go on a get away, away from my kids!! My oldest is 5yrs old. I was away from her for 2 nights - while having my DD2! DH stayed at home with her while I was in the hospital.

I am worried that I would have some sort of feelings of resentment when I got back. I love my children to death, but my 5 year old is REALLY getting under my skin and her constant testing, brattiness, and attitude are seriously keeping me from enjoying her at all lately. Thankfully my 1 year old makes up for that a lot by being so incredibly sweet. I'm hoping the 5 year old can find her sweet self again. And soon.

So glad to hear you had a great weekend get away with your DH!!

[MMMommy]

No flames at all! In fact, I would think it odd if someone DIDN'T feel that way ever. I think it is perfectly healthy and normal to have such feelings. I assume we all feel that way at times. There once was a time when I could sleep in, see movies (that I want to see) in a theater, didn't have to constantly fetch this or that for DDs, didn't have to constantly remind them of having to clean up, didn't have to constantly cook meals for them that they won't eat (what a waste of time), etc. The list goes on and on.

I it is perfectly natural to have these feelings, so do not feel bad or guilty.

[Nicsmom]

I TOTALLY understand. No flames here. I feel the same way at times, and like you, I adore my children.

[momm]

Nothing to flame.. everyone has been there, done that. Life without responsibilities ... ahhhhh, those were the times :)

(well some responsibilities but nothing like after "settling down")

[crl]

I understand. This is a major reason I am done at two kids. Adding third would just extend the time until we are "free" again. And I totally love my kids and am sooo glad we have them. But I still am looking forward to that freedom.

Catherine

[niccig]

Nothing to flame.. everyone has been there, done that. Life without responsibilities ... ahhhhh, those were the times :)

(well some responsibilities but nothing like after "settling down")

:yeahthat: everyone has days like that.

[gatorsmom]

If it makes you feel any better, my mom used to say she felt like she got her life back after her kids moved out. She said she would never have guessed that she liked her life after her kids were out of the house. It was pretty clear, though, that her and my dad were really enjoying their freedom.

There is light at the end of the tunnel!

[AnnieW625]

I miss my old life. I LOVE my kids, don't get me wrong. But I miss my old life. Hit the gym every day for 1.5 hrs, sleep in on weekends, do what I want to do.
I am just having one of those days.


:yeahthat: I totally know what you mean. We haven't been on a real vacation away from family since October, 2008, and that was to Boston for a friends wedding, not a tropical locale either. Our goal is 2013 for the next one, but honestly we might be pushing that back a year to 2014.

As I head out of the office right now to go to the gym for an abreviated 15-20 minutes of cardio and 20 minutes of weights I seriously miss my 3 to 4x week 1.5 hr. workouts and hour+ of yoga at least once a week.

Parenting is great, but seriously I can't remember the last time I got excited to actually want to go out and eat a nice meal and not think about the finances first.

[wencit]

I totally get it, too. Of course, I love my children more than life itself, they are my pride and joy, yada yada yada, but very occasionally I wonder what my life would have been like if we had decided not to have kids. I have a married friend who has decided to stay childless, and man, every time he posts on FB about the fabulous vacations he takes and the fancy restaurants he frequents, I admit I get a smidge of envy. Oh, what it must feel like to be so carefree!

[DebbieJ]

Yep. We had it pretty good before kids.

[BabbyO]

Um...I'd think you were sick if you didn't miss your old life at least a little bit. I think its pretty normal!

[boolady]

Nothing to flame.. everyone has been there, done that. Life without responsibilities ... ahhhhh, those were the times :)

(well some responsibilities but nothing like after "settling down")

:yeahthat: I also agree that I really don't think it would be normal NOT to feel like that every now and then.

DD really wants to go to my sister and BIL's this weekend and spend one night, and I was talking to my sister about whether I should let her go, because DH has to work and I really don't have anything I need childcare for and I wondered what I was going to do with myself if I let her go visit for the night. My sister (married for 5 years but no kids yet) was like...um...read a book? go to the mall? take a nap? take a walk? I think it's easy to get so wrapped up in our "mommy" identities that we sometimes have to step back and remember ourselves, too.

[Gracemom]

I try not to think about my old life much, or I'll go crazy! But now that my kids are getting older (8 and almost 5) I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. My DH and I are getting more time as a couple and as individuals, and it feels great! I'm getting more time to just be me again, instead of being just Mommy. Glad you had a weekend away. Hope you get more of those soon!

[dogmom]

I am supposed to feel guilty that I want my lazy Sundays standing in line for some great local brunch place reading my paper and trying to figure out how to waste the rest of the day? Heck, I miss my life before husband and kids! Talk about freedom and personal space. Only cleaning up after myself. Be able to work 5 x 12 hour shifts in a row to get a bunch of days off because I could and there wouldn't be 20 tons of laundry waiting for me at home? Oh wait, deciding to see a movie on the spur of the moment. How about when I would go shopping for Christmas for my friends and family and for every gift for them I bought I would get one for me! (I mean, I was in the store anyway.) Throwing dinner parties. Buying cute clothes, for me, not my kids.

Right now I mostly miss lazy Sunday brunches, not the gym so much.

[g-mama]

Okay, now I am really missing my old life!! Perhaps it's better to just not think about it. Now I'm depressed.

[Cam&Clay]

Oh, I feel your pain. I found myself reminiscing with DS1 the other day about our lives before DH and DS2 came along. Life was good. He spent every other weekend with his dad, so I was free to do what I wanted. DS1 and I traveled a lot, just the two of us. We were happy. We were a team.

I wouldn't give up DH and DS2 for the world, but life was easier back then.

[cono0507]

I hear you!!! Just came home from vegas WITH kids. Never again...

[hillview]

I hear you!!! Just came home from vegas WITH kids. Never again...

OH NO! What happened? I have considered doing this -- spill!
/hillary

[cono0507]

OH NO! What happened? I have considered doing this -- spill!
/hillary

Family wedding and that part was great but we were at one of the nice resorts on the strip, didn't find much in the way of kids menus ($16 waffles for breakfast for the 3yo plus more for fruit, etc, of which she couldn't eat more than half), have to walk through the casino to get anywhere which was interesting, the questions from the 6yo - "why are there cards with pictures of ladies all over the ground?", "why does that truck have pictures of ladies with no clothes on?", very few kids at the pool. It felt like were crazy people with kids invading everyone's fun spring break! Overall it wasn't terrible, but it would have been way more fun to do more vegas-y stuff with just DH. (All that being said, DH Watched the kids the last night and I got to hang out with my sibs/cousins quite late, which made me want to be there without kids all the more!)

[deborah_r]

I hear you!!! Just came home from vegas WITH kids. Never again...

They gambled all your money away, huh? ;)

[firemama]

No flames here. I love my DD to pieces. But I also long for a day to sleep in, have my body back, watch movies all day, and eat popcorn for dinner... BFing and raising LOs is a huge sacrifice, but I wouldn't have it any other way. So for now I eat healthy and cherish these precious moments. It is totally normal to feel this way.

[MamaMolly]

Ooooh, but if I indulge in this fantasy I'm not only childless I'm SINGLE too. Living back in my cute, cheap, funky apartment I had before I met DH. You know, right about the time I decided I really didn't need anyone in my life to be happy? Other than my cats...

In other words, if there are flames to be had I'm roasting too!

[kerridean]

Me too...alot....really, really, really.....alot!