Free Range Kids

[BabyMine]

I am halfway though this book and love it. I agree with the author about how overprotective we have become and how we no longer allow kids the freedoms that we had as children. She even gives props to Baby 411 ;)

http://www.amazon.com/Free-Range-Raise-Self-Reliant-Children-Without/dp/0470574755/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1306352277&sr=8-1

[Ceepa]

I read it a while ago and although I didn't agree with her across the board I do believe there is a micromanagement of children nowadays that is damaging to them.

[Kindra178]

Just ordered the book on my Kindle. I am fascinated by her. Although I don't think I can do the whole free range thing in Chicago (yes, I know she is in NYC), I am hoping to learn from her.

[cono0507]

I read her book last year and loved it. I also follow her blog: http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/ and her facebook page.

I grew up as a free range kid and I lean more toward that style of parenting. I agree with her that there is too much micromanaging of kids' play and I very much let my kids create their own play - in the back yard, in the basement, etc. Next year my 1st grader will be walking to school with some neighborhood kids and I know there are parents out there who cringe at that thought but it is the right choice for us. I'm glad to have her book and blog and a community of people who are like-minded.

[Raidra]

I may check that out from the library, I'd read some of her blog a long time ago but forgotten all about it.

I'm all for free range (I never direct their play, for instance) and let them do pretty much whatever within reason in our yard. I do have trouble letting them roam the neighborhood without me, though. Part of that is that we back up to a swamp, and that makes me nervous.. plus while our street isn't a thru-way, cars can go pretty fast. But I think it's important to give kids freedom and independence, it's just a struggle to find ways to do so that don't feel neglectful.

[belovedgandp]

I read it a little over a year ago and thoroughly enjoyed it. My take away was to decide what the real threats (safety, helmets, carseats) and your personal priorities are and then don't sweat the rest. There are a lot of paranoid children who will never be self-sufficient if their parents don't take it down a notch around me.

[maestramommy]

LOVED her book. It's on my Amazon wish list. Her writing style doesn't hurt. Just a touch of snark. Cracked me up. But so true on many levels.

Our kids range the age where the oldest on the cusp of being let go and the youngest has to be protected from herself:p. There are certain things that have to be done differently from what we wish for because our town has no sidewalks for the most part, and the properties are large. They won't be able to walk to school, but they will eventually be able to ride their bikes on the street. There are certain places, like at church, where we will let other kids take them to play somewhere out of our sight. At playgrounds, we generally don't intervene when they get into difficulties, unless they're really headed for trouble, which is almost never.

We are getting our yard landscaped and FENCED this summer. I am looking forward to finally throwing them out and saying, "don't come back in until lunch or dinner :tongue5:"

[carolinamama]

I think I'm going to order it for my Kindle. Sounds like a book I would enjoy and get something out of.

[KrisM]

I enjoyed it too. I was leaning that way already and the book has made me more sure of letting go. We were at the library a few weeks ago, and had driven due to various circumstances. DS1 asked if he could walk home. Our sub borders the library and it's about 1/2 mile total. I sent him walking down the path to the sub and by the time I got around various corners, I saw him look for cars, cross the street and start skipping his way home. I did stay behind him for a bit and then eventually just drove home.

[TxCat]

Thanks for the recommendation! This definitely sounds like something I want to check out.

[calv]

I read her book last year and loved it. I also follow her blog: http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/ and her facebook page.

I grew up as a free range kid and I lean more toward that style of parenting. I agree with her that there is too much micromanaging of kids' play and I very much let my kids create their own play - in the back yard, in the basement, etc. Next year my 1st grader will be walking to school with some neighborhood kids and I know there are parents out there who cringe at that thought but it is the right choice for us. I'm glad to have her book and blog and a community of people who are like-minded.

thanks for the info. didn't know she had a page! off to check things out ;) what's her FB page?

[Green_Tea]

Loved that book. Totally on board with her philosophy, and love the way she systemically debunks myths about how "unsafe" the world is for kids. It should be required reading.

[bisous]

I read the book and enjoyed it. I like how the information is presented.

With my ADHD Type 1 Diabetes 7 year old, though, things ARE more dangerous for him than the average kid! His judgment is so impaired and his health issues so real, that we are worlds away from free roaming. I think the danger is just too real for us!

[karstmama]

i agree with the style in principle, but not for my ds so far - 'free range' and 'on the spectrum' don't mix at this point.

[pastrygirl]

I'll have to look more into this. Just based on the title, I wish I had more free-range kids! I'd much rather them play by themselves, but they've always needed me for entertainment (which I really find a drag most of the time...). Growing up, I always played only with my siblings. It was so much fun!

[cono0507]

thanks for the info. didn't know she had a page! off to check things out ;) what's her FB page?


http://www.facebook.com/FreeRangeKids

[mommylamb]

I haven't read it, but it sounds interesting.

When DH was a kid, he started going to the football games with his friends (no adult supervision) at age 11. That meant taking public transportation to and from a major sporting event. By that age, I was babysitting the kids next door. While I don't want to be an overbearing parent, I just can't imagine letting DS do that :eek:.

[BabyMine]

I was a free range child and want to bring my DS up that way but I let the paranoia and fear get the best of me. I keep thinking that if I do let them have more freedom than people will think I am a lazy bad parent. I am now learning to ignore them and let them grow up like I did. I just found out in Florida the law is that you can leave your under 6 child in the car for 15 minutes. I have always been scared to do that but now that I know the law I can finally use my judgement and not be afraid of breaking the law. I have common sense and would never leave my children in the car if there was any temperature danger.

[infomama]

I just found out in Florida the law is that you can leave your under 6 child in the car for 15 minutes.
No.....it's OVER six and the ignition has to be off at all times of you are leaving them alone.


What Florida Law says about...
Leaving children unattended in a motor vehicle

According to Florida State Statute:

FSS 316.6135 Leaving children unattended or unsupervised in motor vehicle; penalty; authority of law enforcement officer.

No parent, legal guardian, or other person responsible for a child younger than 6 years of age shall leave such child unattended or unsupervised in a motor vehicle for a period in excess of 15 minutes; however, no such person shall leave a child unattended for any period of time if the motor vehicle is running or the health of the child is in danger.

[KrisM]

No.....it's OVER six and the ignition has to be off at all times of you are leaving them alone.


What Florida Law says about...
Leaving children unattended in a motor vehicle

According to Florida State Statute:

FSS 316.6135 Leaving children unattended or unsupervised in motor vehicle; penalty; authority of law enforcement officer.

No parent, legal guardian, or other person responsible for a child younger than 6 years of age shall leave such child unattended or unsupervised in a motor vehicle for a period in excess of 15 minutes; however, no such person shall leave a child unattended for any period of time if the motor vehicle is running or the health of the child is in danger.

I read that as kids under age 6 can be left for up to 15 minutes.

[niccig]

I may check that out from the library, I'd read some of her blog a long time ago but forgotten all about it.

I'm all for free range (I never direct their play, for instance) and let them do pretty much whatever within reason in our yard. I do have trouble letting them roam the neighborhood without me, though. Part of that is that we back up to a swamp, and that makes me nervous.. plus while our street isn't a thru-way, cars can go pretty fast. But I think it's important to give kids freedom and independence, it's just a struggle to find ways to do so that don't feel neglectful.

We are the same. I do not direct DS's play, he is free to do what he wants- he was in garage building a leprechaun trap yesterday. But our street is way too busy with idiots driving too fast to the golf course/baseball field at the end. He will need to be older before he can walk on his own.

My issue with free range is when it means the parent has no idea they child is being a mean bully to every other kid at the park. You do not have to direct their play, but when they're beating up on younger kids, as the parent you should stop it. I am thinking of a couple kids I know.

[AnnieW625]

I just put the book on hold at my library. Both my DH and I were pretty free range kids (although this is an assumption because I haven't read the book), but that's because we both grew up in a city where people would leave their doors to their homes unlocked and the population was much smaller than the current city we live in. I seriously still have to think twice about locking my car doors in the supermarket parking lot in broad daylight because at home I never did. Should prove to be an interesting read:) . My dad used to leave my and my brother in the car with the ignition off to go into the auto parts store or to use the ATM when we were about 8 and 5. Seriously probably something I won't do now and I am very thankful for drive up ATMs.

[infomama]

I read that as kids under age 6 can be left for up to 15 minutes.
It says no one can leave a child younger than 6 unattended for more than 15 minutes.

[Naranjadia]

Thanks for the reminder! I started this book a while ago and life got in the way.

One of the takeaways for me in the first few chapters I read was that not letting children try things (within reason) sends them the message that you don't think they are capable, up to the challenge, etc.

[KrisM]

It says no one can leave a child younger than 6 unattended for more than 15 minutes.

Right. So, they can leave a child younger than 6 unattended for 0-14 minutes.

[TwinFoxes]

I read that as kids under age 6 can be left for up to 15 minutes.


Right. So, they can leave a child younger than 6 unattended for 0-14 minutes.

That's how I read it too.

[infomama]

Right. So, they can leave a child younger than 6 unattended for 0-14 minutes.
I see your angle. Correct then. I would never do it but the truly free range concept (as I perceive it having browsed her blog but not read the book) isn't really my bag. I let my kids chop veggies and play outside without us so perhaps we are a little free range. I don't know.

[KrisM]

I see your angle. Correct then. I would never do it but the free range concept (as I perceive it having browsed her blog but not read the book) isn't really my bag.

I think that the free-range is for older kids, not toddlers and preschoolers. My 7 yo can play in the yard by himself, walk to neighbor's houses (tells me where he's going), etc. I'll leave him in the car if I'm going somewhere for just a couple minutes. But, my almost-5 yo can only play in my yard when I in the kitchen and can see her, can go to her friends houses with me watching, and I don't leave her in the car, except in the garage. My 2.5 yo only plays in the yard when I'm out, or if the other 2 are out and I'm in for only a minute.

I think some people (not saying you, just an impression I get) think free-range means letting your 2 yo walk to the park alone. It means letting your older kids have some independence.

Here, most kids walk to school, with only other kids, in 3rd grade. Before that, the school is further away so they take the bus. They walk in a group and they do fine. But, some parents still walk their 6th and 7th grade kids to the bus stop every day. There is a difference there.

We also have the parents who just send the kids out in the morning and have no idea where they are all day. I think that's more free-range than I'll be for a long time! They did this when the kids were 4 and 8 and they'd come over and invite themselves into our birthday parties, ask for snacks, etc. I think those are just parents not caring enough, IMO.

[dragop21]

free range is the norm here :) actually its been really nice. we live on a quiet street, and my oldest dd walks to school every day (the whole block!). they actually pre arrange walking groups together so the little kids are with the bigger ones for the bigger roads some of them have to cross. and of course there are crossing guards at the designated times.

my oldest comes home after school, hangs around for about half an hour and then goes to the park where her social life is. the park is about 2 blocks away, right by the school. she comes and goes to the house with her friends, sometimes they will play inside here if its rainy (we have by far the biggest house in the neighbourhood, I had 8 kids here the other day, I only did it for an hour until I kicked everyone out again). thus far I have heard about almost all scuffles, and disagreements and trouble they get themselves in (every so often). everyone knows everyone. they certainly know who we are, even if we don't have a clue who they are (oops!). there is music every day at 530pm in the summer (March 1-October 1 regardless of weather), and at 430 in the winter. that is everyones que to go home, so all the kids scatter. I have talked to a couple of moms who want to know where their kid is, but our house has sort of a revolving door policy. its fine. I would rather have the kids at my house than at someone elses.

I can also send my oldest on errands to the store, because they are 3 blocks away. so she will buy milk for me, or vegetables from the veggie shop, or even meat from the butcher shop on the corner. its really fantastic that all of these are so close and they know who my kids are.
my 5 year old goes with her sister 99% of the time and they keep track of each other for the most part. they aren't allowed to leave the park/school playground without express permission with the threat of bike privilege being revoked. I do spot checks to keep them in line. thus far its been fine. and again, I know I also have many pairs of eyes on my kids, just like I watch out for their kids as well. and if they do something rotten I will certainly hear about it ;)

and of course, I do not let my 2 year old go anywhere without me. just to be clear on that point.

its a bit ironic I think that I live in the largest city in the world, literally, and yet have found a very tight knit community. but that is how it plays out in real life for us.

[BabyMine]

I see your angle. Correct then. I would never do it but the truly free range concept (as I perceive it having browsed her blog but not read the book) isn't really my bag. I let my kids chop veggies and play outside without us so perhaps we are a little free range. I don't know.

To some you are free range. You still have to go with what you are comfortable with. If you want to let go a little then take baby steps. The reason I mentioned the leaving in a car is because I will do that but I would never do it if it ever endangered my kids.

[Gena]

i agree with the style in principle, but not for my ds so far - 'free range' and 'on the spectrum' don't mix at this point.

:yeahthat:

This is us as well. We work with DS on gaining more indepent skills, but he is nowhere near ready for free ranging.

[bubbaray]

I haven't read the book, but as this has turned into a more general discussion on FR kids, I will say that its definitely NOT the norm here and its not something I am comfortable with for our family.

Our school is a "choice" school (ie., not our neighborhood school) and we drive to it (or drive DD#1 to daycare and they bus her). There are children in her school who live less than a block away from us, in our subdivision. They have lived here for almost as long as we have and we had no idea there were kids in those houses. No one lets their children play outside in the front yard.

[jse107]

DH and I were raised free-range and we're pretty much raising our kids that way too. For DS, who will be 7 in August, that means being able to roam up and down our street (dead-end) with friends. If he wants to go somewhere else, he needs to let us know. I let him go to public bathrooms by himself, talk to store clerks and wait staff at restaurants to get needs met, and I'm thinking of sending him on an airplane--by himself--to visit his grandparents this summer (it's a 1.5 hour plane trip).

[kijip]

I have no interest in likening my parenting to dubiously marketed chicken. Just saying.

I am a mix of protective and for lack of a better term "free range". For instance, I let my kids play in our back yard alone. Because my older son is naturally cautious and has anxiety, I am less so that I might otherwise be.

[hellokitty]

My DH was definitely a free range kid. By the age of 4, he was wandering the streets of korea. His mother is a neurotic person, so I have no clue how she was ok with this, lol. When they moved the the US, he was also a free range kid.

I, on the other hand was a weird combo. I was, "free range" if you want to consider that my parents were negligent about certain things to the point of it being dangerous (ie: my brothers and I were left alone for several days when we were elementary aged, so my parents could attend a medical conference and my mom would just forget to pick me up from school and other places for hours at a time), but we were practically boxed in when it came to other things. We couldn't wander the neighborhood, b/c there were no sidewalks and a 55mph road where we'd be flattened by a semi-truck if we tried to walk/ride anywhere and there were NO kids our age on our street.

I tend to be more protective of my kids than your avg parent, BUT I also try to help them become more independent under my watchful eye, so that they will (hopefully) know what to do if they are ever in a situation.

[AdiMom]

We are slowly working towards being free range here. I went back home to India this december and my 7 year old nephew was given money to go to the neighborhood store and buy milk for the family. After seeing the amount of responsibility he was given, I remembered how I used to be so independent at that age growing up.

After we came back from vacation, we bought a walkie talkie and now my 3rd grader is allowed to roam our entire subdivision as long as he keeps in touch with us through the walkie talkie. He bikes around to his neighborhood friends, finds some company and then they have a ball. When I need him back home, I call him back on the walkie talkie.

I feel liberated now and my DS loves it. It is raising his self-esteem.