I think it's time to wean. Help.

[artvandalay]

My baby is now 1. My goal was to nurse her until one and I'm happy that I've made it. I only nursed my boys for 6 months and then switched them to formula. It was very easy weaning my boys because they readily took a bottle. DD has rejected a bottle from the beginning.

I really don't know where to start and am really anxious about it. I have some reasons why I'd like to stop.

I am going on a cruise early fall (without kids! yay!) so I need to be done by then.
I nurse her to sleep (for naps and bedtime). I usually wait until after I nurse her and then am able to go out. We went to a wedding 2 weeks ago, I pumped some milk, put it in the sippy for the sitter. When we got home at 10pm, she was still awake, sobbing. We have another wedding next month and I am anxious about going because of this.
I had to stop nursing on my left side because of some issues with my breast. My boobs are two different sizes now, and it's obvious (to me at least). I also need to go have a mammogram.

There is a small part of me that feels guilty for stopping, and I need to work through this.

I've already dropped the morning nursing session, and she's ok with it. She is eating solids very well and has a great appetite. She only takes sips of whole milk in her sippy cup, though. She has never finished an entire sippy of milk.

How do I wean her from evening/middle of the night feedings? I nurse her 1 to 2x in the middle of the night. DH or the sitter is able to get her down for her morning nap if I am not home. Evenings are another story. She doesn't unwind until I nurse her.

I am really emotional about all of this and didn't expect to be. Sorry this was kinda long.

[JTsMom]

Congratulations on making it to one year!

IMO , you have to kind of look at this as 2 separate things to work on- actually weaning, and getting her to go to sleep some other way. If it were me, I'd focus on the latter first. I'd try to cut out the middle of the night feedings first, but keep in mind that might (temporarily) increase the daytime feedings. Try googling Dr. Jay Gordon's night-weaning method. We did that around 18 months or so with Jason. DH's help was essential for us. Next, I'd work on the bedtime nursing- maybe start with nursing, but don't let her nurse to sleep, even if it means waking her up.

If you can take care of the sleeping issue, you should be fine for the wedding, which buys you more time.

[wendibird22]

When I weaned DD1 we were only nursing to bed and during the night. I used a modified version of the Jay Gordon method (http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html). We weren't cosleeping but his approach still worked for us. I did the middle of the night first and once we were done with that successfully then I dropped the bedtime session. For that session I started singing her a song and told her when I was done with Twinkle Twinkle it was time for bed. For the first week I'd sing through it say 3 or 4 times, then gradually cut back until I was just singing it once and then moved to just putting her in the crib and singing it. Things that also helped were:
1. having DH do more of the putting to bed or middle of the night responding. But I didn't have him do all of it because I felt DD1 needed to be able to have my do it without nursing.
2 Not replacing nursing with a cup/bottle/sippy of milk. I didn't want to substitute one for the other and then have to wean from bedtime milk down the road.
3. Consistency. Once I started down the path I stuck to it...despite the tears (hers and mine). I didn't want to send a mixed message.

I think your reasons are legitimate and you shouldn't feel guilty. You've done great! And it is ok to feel emotional about it. I know I was when I weaned DD1 and I know I will when I wean DD2 (which will probably be soon). It's just one of many, many milestones that make me feel weepy!

[wendibird22]

Congratulations on making it to one year!

IMO , you have to kind of look at this as 2 separate things to work on- actually weaning, and getting her to go to sleep some other way. If it were me, I'd focus on the latter first. I'd try to cut out the middle of the night feedings first, but keep in mind that might (temporarily) increase the daytime feedings. Try googling Dr. Jay Gordon's night-weaning method. We did that around 18 months or so with Jason. DH's help was essential for us. Next, I'd work on the bedtime nursing- maybe start with nursing, but don't let her nurse to sleep, even if it means waking her up.

If you can take care of the sleeping issue, you should be fine for the wedding, which buys you more time.

Looks like we took that same approach!

[nfowife]

With my kids, the first step was breaking the sleep-nurse connection. I first moved the before sleep nursings to after nap nursings. I would still nurse between naps, just not right before bed when they'd fall asleep doing it. This was when they were old enough (9+ months) that they were eating 3 solid meals a day so I could do wake, nurse, play, solids, nap, repeat. So I just nursed upon waking. It will take a few days of this and you could still keep your bedtime nursing while doing this transition- as bedtime is a different type of situation and night sleep is different from day sleep.
When you are through with that you can pick one nursing, the least "cherished" one for your LO and replace it with a sippy of cows milk- or whatever you are transitioning to. She might not take much at first- it took a month or so post-weaning for my LO to really start drinking a good amount of milk each day.
The last nursing I drop is the bedtime one, because it seems to be the most needed. But by the time it's the last one left it isn't so hard to drop it. For both of my kids I thought it would be much harder than it was.
In terms of overnight feedings my oldest dropped them on her own around 9 months. For my DS at 10 months I decided to try just giving him his paci back instead of feeding and it worked. Within a few days he stopped waking altogether.
DD2 is only 5 months and we usually do 2 overnight feedings. Last night we just did 1- she woke for a 2nd at 5 am and since she wakes for the day around 6 am I just turned on her mobile to help stretch her to wakeup time. It worked, she was fussing a little but definitely not crying. But she is an easy baby in general.

Good luck!

[BabbyO]

Looks like you've gotten some really great advice here. My situation was different because DS took a bottle (with my BM) from a very early age on. We knew I'd nurse for a year at least, but we also knew I would be working FT, so we started bottles early.

That said, my DS HATED sippy cups, especially cups with ANY type of anti-spill valve. I'm wondering if your DD is not crazy about the cup more than the milk? I found that using straw cups made a HUGE difference in how much milk DS drank from a cup. It may be worth a try.

The advice you've already gotten about weaning from PP's is great.

[artvandalay]

Thank you, this is all great advice. She does take a pacifier, there have been times in the middle of the night where DH or I would go in there if she's crying, and just stick it in her mouth, and she would go to sleep.

Problem now is that as soon as she wakes up, she stands up, so it takes a litttle more effort to get her to bed.

I will read Dr. Gordon's approach tonight, thank you for the link!

[MomToOne]

What helped me was adding a step in between the nursing and the sleeping (like reading a book or saying prayers or having a sip of water, etc). So it was easier when it was time because the cue wasn't nursing anymore. We were able to just kind of skip the nursing part a couple of nights in a row and then that was that.

[dragop21]

another expression used is "don't offer and don't refuse" , self explanatory.

congrats on making it a year! everyone has offered good advice. the only think I would add is maybe trying to wean by the fall in time for your vacation? that would probably be a bit easier, it would be more gradual and if she wants to nurse, and you still have milk when you come back, you can think about it.

just a thought, you can definitely reject it! :)