Class placement, WWYD?

[MMMommy]

Sorry, this is long. DD1 is a cautious and sensitive child. She is very loving and feeling, but because she is so sensitive, she can get hurt feelings easily. There have been incidents this past school year where her whole disposition was sad b/c of some mean girls in her class. She went through a period of finding excuses to come home ("I don't feel well") during the school day. When the situation resolved, she was back to her happy, energetic self. But there was a good month or so where she just wasn't her happy self during this sad time. DD1 is smart, a good student, loves her teachers (whomever she has), takes direction well, and does as she is told in the classroom.

So the school is preparing the class lists for the fall. DD1's teacher felt that two out of the four second grade teachers would be a great fit for DD1. The teachers at the school do make an effort to find the "right" fit and to create a balanced class for all grades, all classes.

Everyone raves about Teacher 1. Teacher 1 is the teacher that wins the popularity vote, if you know what I mean. Teacher 1 has been with the school the longest and supposedly has a great balance of being loving/kind, organized, efficient, and keeping the class in order. Parents and kids love her. However, the rumor mill says that she has been TTC for a long time. Which may mean she would miss a lot of the school year (and a sub would be put in her place) for however long she is absent. But that is an "if" and who knows if she will be pregnant. DD1's teacher told me that a few "bully/mean" type girls are on the list for Teacher 1's class in the fall, which concerned me.

Teacher 2 is newer to the school (not new, but just newer). Teacher 2 is known for being loving, kind, and nurturing. The only negative comments that have been made about Teacher 2 is that, because she is newer, she may not be as good at addressing individual needs/problems. I have heard this from two parents. Other parents love Teacher 2 and say she is fantastic. I do not think this "negative" would be an issue for DD1 b/c she has always been a good student, listens to her teachers, and follows instruction well. Her current teacher said that some of the girls on Teacher 2's class list for fall are DD1's friends. Of course, Teacher 2 could be TTC or pregnant at any time, but it just isn't public knowledge that she is TTC.

DD1's teacher said to let her know what my preference is between Teacher 1 and Teacher 2. One side of me says to pick Teacher 1 because she is so great, but the few "mean" girls in the class have made other girls miserable this past school year. Think spitting on other girls, ganging up on a particular girl on any given day, etc. I do fear that Teacher 1 will miss a good part of the school year due to maternity leave, but that is anyone's guess and may or may not happen. That could happen with Teacher 2 even. The other side of me says to pick Teacher 2 because her personality type and the few nice girls in the class make me think DD would be happier. I don't want to shelter DD1 forever. People can be mean in life. But DD1's current teacher says that they are still young and would like them to have a happy experience for as long as they can. On a side note, DD1's former kindergarten teacher (who I am close with), says she would have picked Teacher 2 for DD1, but she agreed that both Teacher 1 and 2 would be great for DD1.

Any advice? What do you think? Thanks for listening.

[lowrioh]

NO BTDT with my own DC but I would keep her away from the "mean girls" if possible. It sounds like teacher #2 is competent and caring and the benefit of you daughter being happy in the classroom would outweigh any benefit that the other teacher would provide KWIM?
I remember having a great teacher in the third grade but not wanting to go to school because I was seated next to one of the mean girls in the classroom. Luckily, I outgrew her midway through the year so she stopped trying to bully me. Kids can be mean and teachers only have a limited amount of things they can do to prevent it.

[wolverine2]

I'd go with teacher 2. The personal recommendation from the K teacher, the nice girls, the wild card of the possibility of teacher 1 being on leave. I wouldn't risk it if teacher 2 sounds great.

[ett]

I would go with Teacher 2 for the reasons PP stated.

[MMMommy]

It's funny b/c with three of the four second grade teachers, it's anyone's guess as to which one could be pregnant and going on maternity leave. Three of the four are young, married and without children.

[ett]

It's funny b/c with three of the four second grade teachers, it's anyone's guess as to which one could be pregnant and going on maternity leave. Three of the four are young, married and without children.

Which is why I would definitely go with Teacher 2 since your DD's friends will be in the class. With Teacher 1, worst case scenario would be having a sub for a good part of the year with the "mean" girls.

[lil_acorn]

I would vote for Teacher 2 away from the mean girls.

[crl]

2

Catherine

[egoldber]

With Teacher 1, worst case scenario would be having a sub for a good part of the year with the "mean" girls.

:yeahthat:

Definitely #2.

[Uno-Mom]

I'm thinking back to that age - I kinda think it would be more important to be WITH my friends than AWAY from the bullies. KWIM? You're just figuring this friendship thing out and being in the same class with friends, even if there are bullies there, means everything.

That said, sounds like #2 class wins on that front, too.

[plusbellelavie]

Since it is possible for you to have a say in the matter my vote would be Teacher #2.

You want to avoid as much as possilbe the "mean" girls there will be plenty of time (future grades) for your daughter to have to deal with them....unfortunately!

ETA...just aside even if Teacher 1 is there all year but in the class there are "mean" girls the teacher may or may not be able to continually control them or keep them from you daughter! IMO a "newer" teacher with a nice group of girls will make your DDs school year so much more pleasent and less stressful all around!

[Indianamom2]

I think I'd go with teacher #2. Worst case scenario would be that your DD would be stuck in class most of the year with a sub and the "mean" girls with Teacher #1, so I think I'd go with the class with a competent, caring teacher and nicer friends.

[MMMommy]

Thanks, guys. Your posts are very helpful to me. I appreciate them.

[mom2MandC]

As a teacher and a parent, I would pick teacher 2. It is actually very surprising that you are able to select your DD's teacher! Teachers, like children, have different personalities so some parents may love one teacher other parents may not be as thrilled. It totally depends on the rapport that your child and teacher build and I feel the class make up (of the all the different personalities of the children that particular year) makes a big difference.
It seems like there is a good probability that your DD could have problems with the "mean girls" that are definitely in the class of Teacher 1. I would feel badly if I didn't set her up for success in the beginning (she could be successful with Teacher 1 if she can nip the bullying in the bud early, but why risk it) I wouldn't want to feel guilty if problems do arise that could have been prevented. You have a good point that kids have to learn to deal with others, but if you can prevent it from being a daily event, why not! Good Luck! I hope she has a great school year with which ever teacher she has!!

[MMMommy]

To clarify, I don't think I actually get to pick Teacher 1 or Teacher 2. I think DD1's current teacher just wanted to know my preference between the two. But ultimately, she will work with the second grade teachers to place her current students in a balanced classroom for the fall. It would be impossible for teachers to put students in whatever class the parents want them to be in. You can't please everyone, and what a nightmare that would be. I probably wasn't clear, but it is more about making our preferences known and letting the teachers know more about your child and what works for them socially and academically.

[mom2MandC]

I know what you meant about teacher selection and not actually choosing the teacher for next year!! But I would feel horribly as a teacher if I asked parents for their input or preference and for some reason the child ended up in a class that wasn't requested- it is nice to give you a courtesy though. You must be a great parent because this could open up a whole can of worms if the parent isn't flexible and understands they aren't guaranteed the teacher they "requested" (I would have had parents lined up at my door on the day they gave out the assignments ;-). It is awesome to have a teacher who is in touch with your child and advocating for her!!! She must have known what a tough year it was for her (and you)! Enjoy the next few school-free months!

[crl]

Is it really that unusual? At our school parents definitely make requests, which may or may not be granted. And my son's teachers have always asked my opinion--although my opinion has always been "you know the next grade teachers way better than I do so I trust you." Now ds is very anxious, and actually had an iep until this year, so we do get some special treatment (I get the assignment before the end of the school year so I can take ds to meet his teacher for next year). But I didn't think it was all that unusual to allow requests.

Catherine

[jenmcadams]

Is it really that unusual? At our school parents definitely make requests, which may or may not be granted. And my son's teachers have always asked my opinion--although my opinion has always been "you know the next grade teachers way better than I do so I trust you." Now ds is very anxious, and actually had an iep until this year, so we do get some special treatment (I get the assignment before the end of the school year so I can take ds to meet his teacher for next year). But I didn't think it was all that unusual to allow requests.
Catherine

I think it's pretty unusual. At our school, we can fill out a form describing our kids learning style and what type of instruction we think works best and that is taken into consideration along with current/past teacher's input and class composition issues. You can request your child no be with other kids (if there's a valid reason), but you aren't allowed to request a specific teacher. Sometimes a teacher will ask your opinion, but if you ask, that's the surest way not to get who you want

[Jo..]

Teacher #2 hands down. She sounds like a good fit and will keep your DD away from the mean girls.

MY DS is also emotional and sensitve and I go out of my way to encourage friendships with other gentle souls and discourage the rough boys and mean cliques.

[wimama]

Teacher #2. :yeahthat:

Both teachers sound great and it sounds like the biggest factor bothering her is the mean girls. If teacher #2 sounds like a good teacher, there aren't many mean girls in her class and some of DD friends are in teacher #2 class, that sounds like the best fit for your DD. You also said her Kindergarten teacher suggested teacher #2.

[AnnieW625]

I am going to play devils advocate here and tell you that while #2 does sound ideal there is absolutely no guarantee that all of the children that are on the list now are going to be in the same class next year. Also there are mean girls and cliques in every class. I personally wouldn't want to get my hopes up.

[kristenk]

I'd tell the current teacher that you prefer Teacher #2, but the most important factor is staying away from as many of the "mean girls" as possible. If that means going with Teacher #1, that's your preference.

It really sounds as if your daughter will do well with either/any teacher. In 2nd grade, I'd take a mediocre teacher with a good class mix over an exceptional teacher with an unpleasant classroom experience. (I'm guessing that preference would change as DD got older and academics got more difficult...)

[s7714]

#2 without hesitation!

[mom2MandC]

Where I taught, in a huge district- 9 elementary schools, most principals did not take requests. It is just so hard to make balanced classes when you have to factor in so many variables (gender, ability, special education, English as a Second language, resource room, basic skills, children with in class support due to behavior or academic needs, personalities, behavior problems, inclusion children- just to name a few). It is hard to honor all requests and still balance the classes for the good of the whole class.
Obviously there are exceptions if a parent/teacher/sibling had particular issues -they would honor a request not to have a certain teacher. There are also many changes over the summer- new students, new programs, sometimes new teachers- so classes often change between June and August.
Also many parents hear things from other parents and don't have first hand experience with a teacher who may be great for their child, but wasn't a good fit for their neighbor's child.
I do think some parents have legitimate reasons for requesting a teacher, but in my experience, sometimes parents would say I heard teacher X is the best, can my child be in their class, based on no real information. No matter what, you can't please everyone, no matter how hard you try!!! Now that I am a parent, I remind myself to make the best of every school year and remember that my attitude about the teacher really influences my child's opinion too!!