6 1/2 yr old teenager

[HIU8]

DS is 6 1/2. Lately, when he is asked to do something he doesn't want to do (or will do, but just "NOT NOW"), I get an "I hate you mom!" followed by a growl and a stomping off. Anyone else getting that? My normal response is "I'm sorry you feel that you hate me, but you still have to go up and brush your teeth" (or do whatever it is that was asked of him). Any suggestions on whether this is the appropriate way to handle this or whether DH and I should approach it differently?

[Green_Tea]

A have a 4.5 year old teenager! We should get them together!

My MO is mainly to completely ignore or not react to the behavior. When I react, it escalates (though that just might be my kid.) I stay calm and repeat myself, and after a few times I let him know that he's welcome to spend however much times he needs in his room to be ready to do whatever it is I am requesting.

It works about 50% of the time. If you find a better way, please write a book :).

[HIU8]

DS has ADHD and we are actually working with a behavior therapist. However, right now we are working on tantrum behavior (and what we are doing is working). This saying he hates me is totally new. If I ignore, he just goes back to whatever he was doing and NEVER does what is asked of him (come up for a bath, brush your teeth, come up for dinner types of things). We have morning and night routines that he is familiar with. He has just recently started really pushing the envelope (I think since he has figured out that tantruming will not get him desired results he has moved to something else. I just was not prepared for this so soon).

[Indianamom2]

Yep. DD is 6.5 and her typical response, if not given her way, is to say something along the lines of "I'm going to be angry until you let me have what I want/do what I want!".

To which I usually respond, "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but the answer is still no!".

It's an...interesting.....age.

Oh, and also, time alone in her room seems to be helpful if she just won't give up. That's usually the last resort.

[Green_Tea]

DS has ADHD and we are actually working with a behavior therapist. However, right now we are working on tantrum behavior (and what we are doing is working). This saying he hates me is totally new. If I ignore, he just goes back to whatever he was doing and NEVER does what is asked of him (come up for a bath, brush your teeth, come up for dinner types of things). We have morning and night routines that he is familiar with. He has just recently started really pushing the envelope (I think since he has figured out that tantruming will not get him desired results he has moved to something else. I just was not prepared for this so soon).

How interesting that your DS has ADHD, as that seems to be the direction that my DS's teachers and doctors are moving in for him, too. I will watch this thread with interest.

[sarahsthreads]

I get "This is the worst day of my life", "I love you Mommy, but I don't like you at all", "You make me so angry I am going to scream", "I'm going to my room and never coming down for the rest of my life" and all manner of similar over-the-top dramatic responses to general everyday requests or limits.

I'm sort of hoping she burns through it all before she hits the teenage years, or at least that this will help me become immune while she's still too cute to disown, so that when she's a teenager I can just remember her cute little 6.5 year old self being sassy and disrespectful...

At the very least, she ought to do really well in drama club, right?

I have no different suggestions, because we also use the "I'm sorry you feel that way, but..." response.

Sarah :)

[bubbaray]

Yeah, we get this. It was worse last year (age 6), but still present this year (age 7). Fun times....

I still like age 7 much better than age 4. Just sayin'....

[crl]

Oh yeah. My 7 year old boy can be such a drama queen. And man oh man does he sulk like a teenager. I try hard not to engage in arguments with him and this usually makes him even angier. He gets sent to his room for back talk and for arguing.

Catherine