Would you be comfortable with this?

[JoyNChrist]

We got a blow-up kiddie pool for the kids and put it on our back patio. It has about a foot of water in it. Today, DS1 (4) wanted to swim in it during the babies' nap. So I sat out on the patio and watched him. DH called while I was out there and I complained that I was hot. He laughed and said, "Well go inside!"

Our living/dining room has French doors that open onto the patio. When they're open, I can see and hear DS from the couch (if I wanted to fold clothes), or really anywhere in the living/dining room (if I wanted to sweep/mop). I can also see and hear him from the kitchen window (if I wanted to wash dishes or do dinner prep).

I frequently let him play in the backyard under those conditions, but I guess because he was in the water I thought I should be right there. It's not deep or anything, but I don't know...

DH says I'm way too cautious, and I'm trying to lighten up a little. Would you be okay with him playing in the kiddie pool where I could see and hear him while I work in the house, or would you sit out there and watch him?

[bubbaray]

I would stay and watch (if I was in the house near the couch, there is a strong possibility I would fall asleep!). DH, OTOH, would definitely NOT stay and watch. I think its a guy thing.

[weech]

I'd have to be out there with him - I'm really scared of drowning. It can happen so fast!

[crl]

I'm a little paranoid about water. With a 4 year old, I think I'd stay outside.

Catherine

[KrisM]

I'd be fine with it, so long as I was there and looking out the window watching.

ETA: I wouldn't be folding clothes or sweeping, but watching.

[ray7694]

I would stay with him at all times. Drowning can happen quick and with little water. We just had an incident with a child drowning in a pool that had collected rain water.

[s7714]

I have sat just inside the door while my kids played in the pool, but only if I have a direct line of sight to them. If I could only hear them then absolutely not. Unlike they portray in the movies, people who are drowning don't splash around screaming for help. I didn't realize this until last summer after reading an article similar to this: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/drowning-looks-different-than-you-think-2010225

[WatchingThemGrow]

If it's that hot, I'd be in the water with him, lol! I'd be out there.

[PunkyBoo]

We have pretty much the same thing - frenchdoors in the living room that lok out to the yard, with a kiddie pool right outside. I would not leave a 4 year old outside by himself. I think I just started letting Punkin play outside in the yard by himself (with no pool) when he was about 5-5.5, and I would only leave him out there in a pool for a minute or two.

[sariana]

I would stay and watch because I never miss an opportunity to avoid doing chores.

Since you apparently not as lazy as I am :), I think you would be okay doing the housework you described since you can see the pool from inside your house.

[belovedgandp]

If I could see them, yes, but no to just listening. I'm way on the laid back scale for most things but water scares me.

[Fairy]

Go out there and watch.

[JoyNChrist]

I can see AND hear him from anywhere in the living room/dining room/kitchen.

I think I'll stay out there with him though. I just needed some reassurance that I wasn't being ridiculously paranoid, which is how DH made it sound.

[JTsMom]

Depending on the child, I would sit inside in front of the window, but be careful not get distracted. Jason is constantly loud, and if it quiet for a second, I'd know there was a problem.

[carolinamama]

One of the things I was very adament about when choosing a house last time was a backyard where the kids could play in a fenced in yard while I was in the house getting things done. They play in the grass, sandbox, and swingset alot while I am in the family room or kitchen watching out the window. I am a laid-back mom. BUT....when they play in the kiddie pool in our backyard, I sit outside with them. I just don't trust water. So I don't think you are being to cautious. Oh, and I let them pour water on my legs and spray me with spray bottles when it is really hot. I've also gotten in with them but not this year - I'm too pregnant. :D

[lhafer]

Under your conditions I would be fine to go inside. I have similar conditions with my living room/kitchen and french doors. I let my older one play outside (fenced backyard) by herself all the time.

If there's a pool involved like yours - I have her sing or talk to me the whole time if I am not there. The moment there's no singing I'm out there. This works for us because my daughter constantly sings, makes noise, talks to herself, etc. She's not a quiet child.

[tiapam]

I would probably stay in the yard but I am pretty paranoid about water. But I could see that what you describe is pretty close to being in the yard. I would be concerned (like a PP) that I would fall asleep or become distracted by something, so I am better off being right there if I want to stay focused on something or someone.

Just wanted to add a reminder to drain the pool every time you are done with it, unless it is truly inaccessible to all your kids.

[JoyNChrist]

Just wanted to add a reminder to drain the pool every time you are done with it, unless it is truly inaccessible to all your kids.

Thanks! Good reminder, because I didn't drain it after he finished swimming this morning, and he'll probably go out back to play in a little while.

[scrooks]

I have a similar set up and have been debating if DD can be out in the pool by herself (our pool is actually on our deck which is gated). I'm still not sure....I fold laundry in hall when she is plaiying in the bath (she could sit in there and play for hours) but that is as far as I have gone so far.

[infocrazy]

I would stay and watch because I never miss an opportunity to avoid doing chores.


:yeahthat:


I would stay and watch (if I was in the house near the couch, there is a strong possibility I would fall asleep!). DH, OTOH, would definitely NOT stay and watch. I think its a guy thing.

:yeahthat:

We have a similar pool and I didn't want to leave DS1 (5.5) and DS2 (4) alone, but I went in to start dinner (watching from the window) when our neighbor (7.5). DH would have been fine with just ours and probably just one of them.

[maestramommy]

When we go swimming, I'm usually in the main pool, and Arwyn plays in the kiddie pool. It has only about 5 inches of water in it. I'm not even sure it can hold a foot of water. That's pretty deep, and I would watch if my 4yo were playing in that depth. Not even their bathwater is that deep.

[JBaxter]

Our hot tub is on our deck just outside our breakfast nook with double windows. I'm always folding clothes, cooking, doing dishes when Jack is in the hot tub ( he treats it as his swimming pool) I can be there in 2 seconds flat ( out the french doors next to the breakfast nook).

Stay inside ;) get your work done and keep an eye on him.

[Corie]

I would sit outside with him and watch him like a hawk.
My husband would do the same thing.

[SnuggleBuggles]

No way. I wouldn't be ok with it at all. Kids and water= constant supervision, imo.

Beth

[edurnemk]

I haven't read the replies, but, in a kiddie pool, no I wouldn't be comfortable going inside, even if I could see or hear him. Water makes me nervous, drowning can happen in a few seconds and drowning people don't make any noises to alert you, so I wouldn't want my attention focused elsewhere (dishes or whatever).
I have no problem with DS playing in the yard while I'm inside doing chores, but with water involved I just feel too uneasy.

[Ceepa]

Under your conditions I would be fine to go inside. I have similar conditions with my living room/kitchen and french doors. I let my older one play outside (fenced backyard) by herself all the time.


I would too, but I know a lot here wouldn't be comfortable with it. The way the yard's set up the pool would be close and in full view at all times.

[dec756]

i would not leave my son outside by himself regardless of the water aspect or not.

[lmr1101]

Maybe it's because I live in AZ and we've had 8 (or more) drownings already this year... but there is no way I would even think of going inside if my child was in a kiddie pool.
Especially if I was on a phone call.
Any sort of distraction can lead to a disaster. Plus as a PP mentioned, they say drowning is a silent killer as kids just quietly slip underwater.
Too much risk for me.

[nfowife]

I wouldn't feel comfortable with that. But I do let my 4&6 year olds play in the sprinkler out back while I'm in the family room (big windows so I can see them play).

[ThreeofUs]

Watch. Closely.

[JoyNChrist]

i would not leave my son outside by himself regardless of the water aspect or not.

Never? Really? We have 5 acres and a huge fenced backyard, so I have no issue with him playing out back by himself (I can see through the windows). Maybe if we lived in town or didn't have the fence I'd feel different. :shrug:

Glad to hear that I'm either not unreasonably paranoid, or that most of you equally paranoid. ;)

[kbud]

It would depend on the kid. I would leave my 3 1/2 year old but she is an excellent swimmer. I leave my kids in the tub while I'm doing chores in the rooms nearby around 2 but again mine were strong swimmers from an early age. They are also very noisy so if it's quiet I know there is a problem. Right now I'm in the next room while my 3 year old is playing in the garden tub. She is singing up a storm so I know all is good. Guess that's one advantage to noisy kids!

[alien_host]

I would be outside watching. Like PPs have said, listening isn't really enough because when a child drowns they often slip into the water and don't make any noise.

Can you bring your laundry outside and do it there? Set up an umbrella? Or put your feet in the kiddie pool!

[liz]

We have a small wading pool on our deck that the kids use occasionally. I would sit with them and keep my feet in the pool to keep cool (and a big umbrella). I do not feel comfortable leaving the kids by themselves, probably because they are in and out of the pool and I would be afraid of tripping and falling into the pool. Now, with that said, I
have left my 4 year old in the tub with the door open while folding laundry in the next room and I could hear him the whole time.

[alexsmommy]

I haven't read all of the responses but...
I'm pretty laid back, and I'd be ok with it but ONLY if I can both see and hear from inside AND I was not watching television. TV is one of those things that we think we were only distracted "for a second" and get sucked into a story and it can be more like 3-7 that we are distracted. Drowning happens very quickly. Folding laundry while watching him play - totally fine by me.

[R2sweetboys]

Going against the grain here, but yes, I would be fine with those circumstances.

[wellyes]

My DH would agree with yours. I might, too, depending on the setup. Actively watching but not at arm's length would be fine IMO.


Like PPs have said, listening isn't really enough because when a child drowns they often slip into the water and don't make any noise.

I think the "listening" thing means listening for quiet. My DD sings and splashes constantly. If she were quiet, it would set me on alert immediately.

[alien_host]

I think the "listening" thing means listening for quiet. My DD sings and splashes constantly. If she were quiet, it would set me on alert immediately.

Yes but it is easier to listen for noise and harder for one to focus on just hearing "quiet", IMO, especially if distracted by a phone call etc.

[MamaMolly]

I wouldn't do it because I wouldn't want to send my child the message that it is *ever* ok to go into a pool alone.

[Corie]

I think the "listening" thing means listening for quiet. My DD sings and splashes constantly. If she were quiet, it would set me on alert immediately.

I really don't understand why someone would even want to chance
this. By the time the child went quiet and you got to them, it could
be too late.

[R2sweetboys]

I really don't understand why someone would even want to chance
this. By the time the child went quiet and you got to them, it could
be too late.

The OP said that she could both see and hear him. The pool has a foot of water and he is four years old. I don't see this as being such a big risk. JMHO

[alien_host]

I wouldn't do it because I wouldn't want to send my child the message that it is *ever* ok to go into a pool alone.

This is a great point.

[Pear]

I might sit in a chair looking out the doors. I would not be comfortable multi-tasking.

[egoldber]

The OP said that she could both see and hear him. The pool has a foot of water and he is four years old. I don't see this as being such a big risk. JMHO

:yeahthat:

[Corie]

[QUOTE=R2sweetboys;3157191]The OP said that she could both see and hear him. The pool has a foot of water and he is four years old. I don't see this as being such a big risk. JMHO[/QUOTE

We just have differing opinions on this topic. I have seen many
little kids of different ages trip while getting in or getting out
of little pools and swallow gobs of water. I've seen kids so excited
while playing the water that they slip and fall and swallow gobs
of water. It's just too big a risk for me.

This is honestly something that I wouldn't even consider doing
while there is a kiddie pool with ANY amount of water
in my backyard.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I really don't understand why someone would even want to chance
this. By the time the child went quiet and you got to them, it could
be too late.


My thought too.

Also, I know me and if I went inside I wouldn't be sitting at the door, staring outside. I'd get distracted by something. Even the 30 seconds to refill a water pitcher could be too late.

Beth

[JBaxter]

The OP said that she could both see and hear him. The pool has a foot of water and he is four years old. I don't see this as being such a big risk. JMHO

Exactly.

[ThreeofUs]

The OP said that she could both see and hear him. The pool has a foot of water and he is four years old. I don't see this as being such a big risk. JMHO
Not trying to pick on you, R2sweetboys (love your username, btw!), but having worked in an emergency room, I have seen waaayyyy too many little kids come in from just this type of situation. It's heart-wrenching to hear parents crying about how they were right in the yard, in the house - and then all of a sudden something went wrong.

Ask any emergency room personnel or ambulance paramedics, and they'll shudder and tell you horror stories about baby pools and parents who were momentarily distracted.

The risk is very real - sadly, horribly real - even when caregivers believe they can see/hear their children.

Because of the awful risk, I've always thought it a good thing to be right by the pool with eyes on children in a pool, not glancing back and forth while doing dishes or pruning bushes. This is why many folks say "stay and watch".

[lmwbasye]

I would stay. Just not worth the risk...at all!

[JBaxter]

Not trying to pick on you, R2sweetboys (love your username, btw!), but having worked in an emergency room, I have seen waaayyyy too many little kids come in from just this type of situation. It's heart-wrenching to hear parents crying about how they were right in the yard, in the house - and then all of a sudden something went wrong.

Ask any emergency room personnel or ambulance paramedics, and they'll shudder and tell you horror stories about baby pools and parents who were momentarily distracted.

The risk is very real - sadly, horribly real - even when caregivers believe they can see/hear their children.

Because of the awful risk, I've always thought it a good thing to be right by the pool with eyes on children in a pool, not glancing back and forth while doing dishes or pruning bushes. This is why many folks say "stay and watch".

I was curious so I called my Mother who was an ER nurse for 20+ ( nursing longer but 20 in the ER) she could not remember one case where an normal child of 4 yrs old ( no seizures or underlying medical conditions) drowning in a 12 in kiddie pool. I have a call in to my sister who is nurse manager of a fairly busy ER just to see how their stats are. You peaked my curiosity on how common it is for a 4 yr old to drown in a back yard wading pool.

[alien_host]

This is not to pick on the OP or anyone else who is OK with this situation, BUT it is a slippery slope. OK, at first you just are in the house watching like a hawk. Then you get comfortable and take a phone call or read a magazine, watch TV and your attention is not 100%. Then you say, "Oh I have to get something from the other room, I'll just be 2 seconds". Another time you have to go to the bathroom, again, it will just take a minute. The baby is crying I'll run and get them.

I think people would be surprised that once you get comfortable w/ leaving a child near water without direct supervision that one starts to do other things and maybe the supervision isn't 100%....people do get over confident. We just have to be aware of what we are doing. I agree, do what you are comfortable with but just don't forget that it is easy to get distracted.

That's just my 2 cents.

[egoldber]

I did some Googling and I was also not able to find more than 1 or 2 cases of a child older than a toddler drowning in anything smaller than a hot tub.

It could happen, but the risk seems incredibly small. Smaller than other risks we all feel comfortable with (driving for example).

[ThreeofUs]

I can certainly appreciate wanting data, lol! But the risk is more than drowning, as I see it. There's near-drowning, ingesting a whole lotta water and filling their lungs (which caused a couple deaths here last year), as well as falling and not being able to get out, splitting their heads open, breaking a wrist, etc.

I know in my ER stint, over a couple of summers, I saw quite a few serious injuries. Not thousands or hundreds, maybe tens - but I'll tell you, just one is more than enough to make an impression. And the couple of small-child-swimming-pool drownings I saw were MORE than enough, kwim? Now, were they exactly 4? I don't know. They were young kids, older than toddlers.

Not a risk I'm comfortable with, even though I know it's less than other risks. It's something I can control - and would blame myself for if I didn't control it. JMHO.

Good luck getting the data. You might want to see the CDC's fact sheet:

http://www.cdc.gov/HomeandRecreationalSafety/Water-Safety/waterinjuries-factsheet.html

Got curious myself and looked up the data on the CDC site. The CDC shows 8,949 3-6 year olds who were unintentionally drowned or nearly drowned in 8 years, so about 1000 per year. The 18th leading injury for children 3-6 year olds. And CDC death-by-drowning shows 1,887 3-6 year olds who were fatally drowned in 8 years, about 230 per year.

[Corie]

I did some Googling and I was also not able to find more than 1 or 2 cases of a child older than a toddler drowning in anything smaller than a hot tub.




Still a number that I'm not comfortable with! I don't want my child
to be the 1 or 2 cases reported.

[wellyes]

I did some Googling and I was also not able to find more than 1 or 2 cases of a child older than a toddler drowning in anything smaller than a hot tub.

It could happen, but the risk seems incredibly small. Smaller than other risks we all feel comfortable with (driving for example).
I think this is a great point. Car accidents are the #1 risk for kids, not pools, but most of us don't think of running out for errands multiple times per day as putting our kids at risk. Not saying we should, but it is important to keep a bit of perspective.

[JTsMom]

That's just it- it's all about the risk level. While I do consider drowning in general a BIG risk, and it's the number one reason I did not want a pool, or to live on my neighborhood's pond, a four year old sitting in a foot of water within a 5 second grasp of an adult who is actively paying attention isn't the same as having an unsecured pool, or access to a large body of water or something. Drowning is not uncommon, but I'd bet drowning under the above circumstances is incredibly rare. As far as slipping and falling, etc., sitting next to the pool likely wouldn't prevent that. If my child was jumping in and out of the pool and getting rowdy, I also wouldn't be comfortable with it.

How many people do you know who have proper surfacing under their playsets? I know.... well, myself. lol Playground injuries are incredibly common though. I think the stats for people dying b/c they fall out of bed is something like 100/year, but how much time do you spend worrying about that? You could make your child sleep on the floor, but I doubt many of us would go to that level. I think some things are just made to sound super risky, but stats don't back it up, while other real risks are downplayed.

[KrisM]

That's just it- it's all about the risk level. While I do consider drowning in general a BIG risk, and it's the number one reason I did not want a pool, or to live on my neighborhood's pond, a four year old sitting in a foot of water within a 5 second grasp of an adult who is actively paying attention isn't the same as having an unsecured pool, or access to a large body of water or something. Drowning is not uncommon, but I'd bet drowning under the above circumstances is incredibly rare. As far as slipping and falling, etc., sitting next to the pool likely wouldn't prevent that. If my child was jumping in and out of the pool and getting rowdy, I also wouldn't be comfortable with it.

How many people do you know who have proper surfacing under their playsets? I know.... well, myself. lol Playground injuries are incredibly common though. I think the stats for people dying b/c they fall out of bed is something like 100/year, but how much time do you spend worrying about that? You could make your child sleep on the floor, but I doubt many of us would go to that level. I think some things are just made to sound super risky, but stats don't back it up, while other real risks are downplayed.

When I was 4, I rolled out of bed and got 4 stitches in my head. I continued to sleep in that bed, and my kids are allowed to sleep in a bed, despite my injuries at a young age :).

[o_mom]

I think this is a great point. Car accidents are the #1 risk for kids, not pools, but most of us don't think of running out for errands multiple times per day as putting our kids at risk. Not saying we should, but it is important to keep a bit of perspective.

While car accidents are the #1 killer, drowning is not far behind, especially in the 1-4 yo age group. In proportion to the time spent on each activity, it wouldn't surprise me that the risks are more similar than we think, but from what I could find, in-ground pools and bathtubs are the bulk of those.

I do think that the actual risk is very small here, but I do agree with the posters who mentioned other reasons. Setting a precedent of being alone in a pool, could be bad. Even though it is just a kiddie pool, a 4 yo may not make the distinction between that and a neighbor's 3' deep quick-set pool. Also, as PP's said it is easy to become accustomed to a level of supervision where you are sitting watching and it creeps up to running to the bathroom or to change a baby, etc.

Lastly, for me, I wouldn't want to be the one to tell the twins next year that while the 5 yo can stay out, they can't or to tell the 5 yo he has to come in because they are, etc. That is a battle I would not want to engage in at our house. Kind of like my refusal to have bunkbeds until everyone is old enough to use them safely - I just don't have the energy to battle on that front and the older ones are not missing anything by not having them (we have the same rule about going to Disney... not going until everyone can ride all the rides :) ).

I also think that some of it is child-dependent as well. MY 4 yo - no way, no how.... he is fearless and accident-prone.

[maestramommy]

Lastly, for me, I wouldn't want to be the one to tell the twins next year that while the 5 yo can stay out, they can't or to tell the 5 yo he has to come in because they are, etc. That is a battle I would not want to engage in at our house. Kind of like my refusal to have bunkbeds until everyone is old enough to use them safely - I just don't have the energy to battle on that front and the older ones are not missing anything by not having them

LOL, we are not getting bunkbeds until I can be sure of Laurel, for the same reason! I also think that for me this is the larger issue, more so than the actual safety issue. When dealing with multiple kids in a small age group, life is just easier when everyone has to follow the same rules. I'm sure Dora is old enough to understand some subtleties, and know why I'd have to watch her by the large pool, but maybe not the kiddie pool. But Arwyn might not, and Laurel certainly wouldn't, nor would she care.

OP, maybe you could set up a fan on a table in front of you, and keep a spray bottle handy :tongue5:

[JoyNChrist]

I hadn't thought about how different rules would apply to the babies next year. Good point!

I do agree that some of it is kid-dependent. Avery is a very mature 4, and very cautious. I can't even see considering this with my 5 year old nephew.

We both played in the pool during naptime this morning. ;)

[tiapam]

Although driving in a car is more dangerous statistically, we mostly do it in an environment where we have very little control of anything other than the car we are driving. And we mostly do it because we "have" to. In the pool scenario given by PP, she has complete control and can choose the level of safety. I have a very healthy respect for water and try not to get too comfortable about it. It's the time of year where our news will start to have the drowning stories, which I find so heartbreaking.

Ah, parenthood. One heart attack after another.

[tarahsolazy]

:yeahthat:

I would be fine with this scenario with a four year old. Younger than that, probably not.

[kijip]

I see both sides. I say do what feels the most comfortable for you. I let the boys play alone in our yard out of my sight but in my hearing all the time and we do not live in the nicest area of town.