I am not pregnant! Please *don't* ask me when I'm due!

[Multimama]

(ETA: Dear Co-worker,) Okay, I'm sorry. I get that I look pregnant. I'm sure if I weren't me I would probably think I was pregnant. But seriously, I am allowed to wear t-shirts in the summer and I should NOT have to be subjected every day to people asking me WHEN MY BABY IS DUE! Seriously.

It is a medical condition. It is called diastasis. I wish I didn't look pregnant. Especially because I would LOVE to be pregnant. So you asking me when my baby is due just makes me feel horrible because a) no non-pregnant woman likes people to tell her that she looks pregnant and b) I would love to be pregnant right now! So yeah, thanks for rubbing it in.

And seriously, if you feel like you *need* to mention that I look pregnant PLEASE just say "Are you pregnant?" because when you ask me "When is your baby due?" I really don't know how to respond. Do I say: "My baby isn't due."??? That's just awkward.

I guess you'll figure it out when I don't have a baby in 9 months.

Okay, thanks for listening. My first bitching post ever.

[crl]

Sorry. :hug: People are stupid sometimes. I trained dh to never, ever, ever ask unless the woman herself announces her pregnancy.

Catherine

[erv917]

Sigh. I could have written that post almost word for word. It sucks, I'm sorry.:grouphug:

[♥ms.pacman♥]

oh, i am so sorry! :hug: people suck. i don't have diastasis but my tummy is nowhere near what it was pre-kids and have been asked (more than once) if i was preggo when i wasn't and that really really sucks. :(

and yeah, i hate that question. got asked that months after i had DS (before i was pg with DD), and unfortunately hadn't lost any baby weight at all since. yeah, didn't k now what to say to that. "um, no, my baby isn't due, he's already learning to eat solid food?" bleh...

[Multimama]

Sorry. :hug: People are stupid sometimes. I trained dh to never, ever, ever ask unless the woman herself announces her pregnancy.

Catherine

If it weren't so painful it would actually be funny. I started biking to work in the hopes of losing weight because my doctor says that losing weight can sometimes help with the diastasis. So the whole "when are you due?" thing comes up because the guy wants to tell me that it might be dangerous to bike while I'm pregnant!!!! Yeah, it would be so hilarious, if it didn't suck so much.

[Multimama]

Thanks for understanding everyone. I lost all the baby weight after DS (although I have now gained a bunch back again) so I know that even if I do lose weight it won't mean I don't look pregnant anymore. Which kind of makes it hard to be motivated to lose the weight, KWIM? I mean, I know it's good for me to have my BMI in a healthy range and blah blah blah, but if I put in all the work and people *still* ask me about my "pregnancy." AAARRRGGHH! It really doesn't feel worth it.

If anybody has suggestions for t-shirts that might make me look less "pregnant" I'm all ears.

[hillview]

Hugs! That sucks. I remember when I was trying to get pregnant and people were asking "are you pregnant yet" um ..... not at all helpful.

HUGS mama!!
/hillary

[mommylamb]

:hug: I hear ya. Today, I went in to have my blood drawn for a progesterone test because we're TTC and not having much luck and I suspect a short luteal phase. Anyway, the lab tech asked me if I was there for my glucose challenge. Now, I am wearing an A-line, baby doll sundress today. But I really don't think I look 5 months pregnant (I can't remember, but I think that's around the time when you take that, right??).

Then again, I think the lab tech was kind of clueless. I was also there to have my vitamin D retested and she made a comment about vitamin D pills being big and hard to swallow, and I said that mine are actually quite small, but my fish oil pills (of which I take 4 daily) are very big, and she asked me what one would take fish oil for. Seriously, what lab tech doesn't realize that the whole omega 3 fatty acid thing is good?!

[Multimama]

:hug: I hear ya. Today, I went in to have my blood drawn for a progesterone test because we're TTC and not having much luck and I suspect a short luteal phase. Anyway, the lab tech asked me if I was there for my glucose challenge. Now, I am wearing an A-line, baby doll sundress today. But I really don't think I look 5 months pregnant (I can't remember, but I think that's around the time when you take that, right??).

You would think someone who worked with fertility patients would know better!! So sorry! But it is strangely comforting to know I'm not the only woman this happens to.

[tiapam]

If anybody has suggestions for t-shirts that might make me look less "pregnant" I'm all ears.

http://ladiesocb.spreadshirt.com/women-s-i-m-not-pregnant-tee-with-logo-A6676982

http://www.zazzle.com/no_im_not_pregnant_tshirt-235891576489054782

http://www.zazzle.com/not_pregnant_tshirt-235100550101550980

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/popculture/dfe3/?cpg=froogle (could work for so many other situations)

:D

[Multimama]

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/popculture/dfe3/?cpg=froogle (could work for so many other situations)

:D

I'm not sure I can wear the last one to work. :rotflmao: But maybe if I get mad enough. :)

[mommylamb]

http://ladiesocb.spreadshirt.com/women-s-i-m-not-pregnant-tee-with-logo-a6676982

http://www.zazzle.com/no_im_not_pregnant_tshirt-235891576489054782

http://www.zazzle.com/not_pregnant_tshirt-235100550101550980

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/popculture/dfe3/?cpg=froogle (could work for so many other situations)

:d

lol!!!!

[niccig]

I don't know if you want to say this, but a friend started to reply "I'm not pregnant, I'm fat." and just stare down the person as they blushed and were stammering an apology. She figured it was the fastest way to get the message across that you do NOT ask that question.

[jal]

I don't know if you want to say this, but a friend started to reply "I'm not pregnant, I'm fat." and just stare down the person as they blushed and were stammering an apology. She figured it was the fastest way to get the message across that you do NOT ask that question.

BINGO!

Unless it's coming from a medical practioner in a medical setting, it's a social fopaux to ask a woman if she is pregnant. The way a co-worker put it to me"you should NEVER assume a woman is pregnant unless you can actually see the head emerging."

[Multimama]

I don't know if you want to say this, but a friend started to reply "I'm not pregnant, I'm fat." and just stare down the person as they blushed and were stammering an apology. She figured it was the fastest way to get the message across that you do NOT ask that question.

See, I don't think I'm pregnant OR fat. I mean, sure I don't have the body that the media or whoever teaches us that women are supposed to have, but that doesn't make me fat. But I definitely see what you mean about that shutting people up!


Unless it's coming from a medical practioner in a medical setting, it's a social fopaux to ask a woman if she is pregnant. The way a co-worker put it to me"you should NEVER assume a woman is pregnant unless you can actually see the head emerging."

Asking a woman if she's pregnant is bad. Asking a woman when she's DUE?? That is just mean. (Even if/when I am due I plan to lie to people about it since DS was overdue. It is *never* anyone's business when I am due (except as you say my medical team)! But that's a whole other rant.)

[momm]

I don't know if you want to say this, but a friend started to reply "I'm not pregnant, I'm fat." and just stare down the person as they blushed and were stammering an apology. She figured it was the fastest way to get the message across that you do NOT ask that question.

that is hilarious.

I've been asked this, too - and all I could come up with was a frosty "I already had my baby a few months ago"
I should've at least said b****

Sorry, OP

[niccig]

See, I don't think I'm pregnant OR fat. I mean, sure I don't have the body that the media or whoever teaches us that women are supposed to have, but that doesn't make me fat. But I definitely see what you mean about that shutting people up!


I'm not saying your are...I've got a tummy since DS and it won't go away. You could reply, "I'm not pregnant, I just have a tummy."

I think the "fat" comment works well as people would never call someone fat.

[misshollygolightly]

I'm so, so sorry. People do suck. That kind of question is just never ok to ask anyone, and I'm sorry that it brings up so many painful issues for you.

Maybe you've already tried this, but I hear good things about Tupler exercises being effective for helping with diastasis. (You can google it to find out more.)

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

I can sympathize so much. I was actually thinking of posting a thread about this today to see if anyone else was having this issue. I don't think I'm fat either.

Just last week when a coworker congratulated me - in a crowded elevator, no less! - on having another baby, I just said, no I'm not pregnant, MY STOMACH JUST STICKS OUT. I wanted to just start crying right there.

I totally know what you mean about loosing motivation to work out.

Anyways, my sympathies!

[elizabethkott]

"Did you put a baby in there? Do you plan on taking one out of there? Then why would you ask me such a stupid question?"
or
"Do you see something falling out of my VAGINA?! No? Then why would you ask me such a stupid question?"

[Multimama]

Just last week when a coworker congratulated me - in a crowded elevator, no less! - on having another baby, I just said, no I'm not pregnant, MY STOMACH JUST STICKS OUT. I wanted to just start crying right there.

This is exactly it! My stomach just sticks out. I *know* that I look pregnant. I'm sorry if that leaves them wondering. But seriously, it's just ridiculous to say anything. Ridiculous, embarrassing, hurtful, unnecessary. Uggh.

Thanks everyone for understanding and for helping me to realize that I am not the one with the problem. They are.