Anxiety at the playground...mine not DDs

[wendibird22]

How do you handle taking your kids to the playground without having mommy anxiety over safety? DD1 is almost 4 and while she's very, very hesitant with playground equipment I'm still a nervous wreck about her falling. Last night DH and I took both girls to a picnic at the school he works at. DD1 wanted to play on the playground equipment at the 4th & 5th grade end...so it's a bit bigger slides, rope climbing, etc. The place was crawling with older boys who were engaged in play with balloon swords at the top of the tower that DD needed to climb to use the slide. She gets to the top and is kind of frozen while they rough house and I'm a ball of nerves because the tower is open on two sides (one side for the rope net and the other for the fireman's pole) and all that I can picture is her taking a misstep or being bumped by a boy and falling out an ope side. Then last week we took the girls to a state park with a great playground. We were practically the only ones there and while it was a nice area almost all of the equipment was stuff to climb...rock wall, the plastic step type walls, fallen logs, etc. and again, I was just so freaked out about her possibly falling.

How do I learn to chill a little? I want to be cautious but I also don't want my hesitation to feed her hesitation to explore. I also know that my anxiety about this will just get worse with DD2 who at 18mos is reckless and climbs EVERYTHING! I'd love to be able to take the kids to a playground and actually enjoy myself.

[hillview]

Is she prone to falling more than normal? If not I think it would be good to consider that most kids don't fall or if they do it is very minor (knee scrape etc). I might also consider what the worst could be -- maybe a broken arm? Well in my book kids will break arms. I will say that the scenario with the rough housing kids would bug me and I would likely move away from that. However the second scenario where it was more just climbing and stuff, I think we have to let our kids take appropriate risks and develop confidence (which since you are posting this I know you are thinking so not trying to preach). My mom was ALWAYS telling me to be careful or not to do something that would hurt me and it wasn't a good situation (in fact I took more risks because she didn't want me to -- rebellion). Can you focus your voice on encouragement vs warnings? Maybe things like:
"that was a great decision"
"wow you are very strong"
"great jump"
"you are way high up, it looks like fun, what can you see"

The only piece of playground equipment that I avoid or highly supervise is the monkeybars if kids are swinging from one to the other. I also require that my kids use playground equipment properly (not climb on something that was not meant to be climbed on etc).

Good luck! I IS hard.
/hillary

[WatchingThemGrow]

I generally avoid the playgrounds that have the little 5-12 yo signs on them when it is me plus all 3 DC. We stay where things are smaller. We can go to those with DH or in a couple years.

[KrisM]

I don't generally have problems with my kids on playgrounds, but I do keep it age appropriate. I'd not let my 5 year old play on a playground sized for 10 year olds. I do let her play at the elementary, and have for a year or so, but it's K-2, so smaller sized.

For 2-3 year olds, I tend to follow them around the playground. None of mine have ever walked into space through an opening, although I was very worried about that 5 or so years ago. Unless your child is prone to not paying attention when walking or falls more than average, she'll likely just be fine. But, to start, I'd stick with playgrounds geared for her age, where the equipement is smaller, lower, etc.

[Pear]

I have this problem. It is much easier when we are at playgrounds that are specifically for her age (young 2). Those are few and far between. I think the closest outdoor is 30 minutes away and there is an indoor one about 15 that I have a membership for, but parents tend to cheat and bring in their big kids and that causes problems.

So mostly I hover and try to go at quiet times. I have been forced to drag her away screaming because some kids were playing too rough and I just couldn't spot her properly while protecting her from the future linebackers with oblivious parents.

[bubbaray]

My girls are like this. DH has always let them play on whatever they wanted. Like the 20' climber at the elementary school down the street -- meant for kids in Grade 5 and older! DD#2 was 3 when she got to the top of that. I about had heart failure, so I don't go to that park with them anymore. My nerves can't take it!

[hbridge]

This is why I'm the mom that's actually on the playground equipment with the kids. We started going when DC was about 18 months old and I was a wreck so I just followed her everwhere (up the ramps, down the slide, ect.). As she got older and I knew her limits I was able to back off. By age 4, she was pretty much on her own on the equipment; but I knew what she could easily do and what was a challenge.

The "bigger kid" factor is a huge unknown and always made me a little nervouse since they don't always pay attention to where the little kids are, but it's nice when they model good play for the little ones.

[vonfirmath]

Honestly, I would not be comfortable with my almost-4 year old on the playground with 4th and 5th graders.

when there are a lot of older kids on the playground, we tend to go elsewhere to play.

[lowrioh]

Honestly, I would not be comfortable with my almost-4 year old on the playground with 4th and 5th graders.

when there are a lot of older kids on the playground, we tend to go elsewhere to play.

:yeahthat:

For me it isn't about the equipment because DD1 knows her limitations but the older kids. They are just being older kids and don't have the self control to watch out for little ones all the time. To be fair, the equipment is made for older kids so they shouldn't have to hold back.
I generally try to redirect DD1 to the little kids area and if the older kids start getting rowdy there I let them know it isn't OK.

[wendibird22]

Thanks for all your replies. The elementary playground was a unique situation since we were there for DH's work picnic. The playground we usually go to is nice in that it has a preschool/toddler, young kid, and older kid separate structures. That's great unless older kids aren't following the age guidelines. I'm also struggling with how to supervise the 18mo who climbs everything and supervise DD1 too.

[wellyes]

I'd much rather my child have a bunch of skinned knees and twisted ankles and a big grin than never get hurt but approach life's adventures anxiously. Trusting your kids to explore to their limits is one of the best gifts you can give a child. I firmly believe that.

[DrSally]

When they're younger, I follow them around on the ground, standing below openings that are high up. Beyond that, I try to keep to age appropriate playgrounds when possible. I know it's hard when there are older kids who are playing roughly. Other than that, I do think it's important to relax a bit, or kids can pick up on our anxiety and become too cautious, KWIM?