DH just told me I need to help him clean!

[MSWR0319]

So MIL called Sunday night to say she was coming Thur to visit. Which is fine, but I told DH he was going to have to help keep the house picked up because it was a super busy week. well, Mon and Tues night he spent in the pole barn spray painting a metal bench while I tried to get DS to sleep and did general pick up. I've been out of the house most of the day running DS around and helping my sister get ready for our garage sale. I put DS to bed, DH goes out to the barn again tonight. I then went upstairs to make sure MIL's room is ready. I come down and DH is picking up the kitchen. I sat down and he's not talking to me, I asked why and he says to me " you really should be helping me clean this house. I cant do it myself" very snotty! all he had to do was sweep the floors, clean the counters, and was a few dishes. A 30 min job max. So apparently, doing 97% of the house cleaning, all the laundry, cooking, bill paying,shopping, taking care of DS, and mowing the 4 acre yard on a weekly basis isnt enough work for me. Am I wrong to think he can't do this job on his own? It just really hurts that he acts like I do nothing all day long and he can't handle 30 min of cleaning on his own. Needless to say, I haven't talked to him since. If I do, it won't be nice.

[LMPC]

This is the moment I would start a list of all the things I had done and the things that DH had done and stick it on the fridge. Sorry he's being a jerk! Eek, and sorry your MIL is visiting lol!

[vejemom]

Not cool. It sounds like you have a farm, or at least some property. WOuld you like me to send the rats and maggots from my Grossest Day BP over to inhabit the pole barn?:D

[MSWR0319]

Not cool. It sounds like you have a farm, or at least some property. WOuld you like me to send the rats and maggots from my Grossest Day BP over to inhabit the pole barn?:D

Yes please! I can put them on his bench!

[crl]

Next time you are cleaning and he isn't, I'd say exactly that in exactly that tone of voice. Well, maybe not. But I'd be really peeved.

Catherine

[gatorsmom]

" you really should be helping me clean this house. I cant do it myself"

What this means in man language is "I really dont' want to clean. I'd rather be painting my bench. You should be doing this for me." I'd point out that he could have been doing this instead of painting the bench. I'd point it out nicely and then remind him of all the stuff YOU have been doing. Or maybe I'd go passive aggressive and leave it in a note for him, just incase you might explode at him while trying to talk to him directly. :rolleye0014: He sounds like my 5yo. And MY DH. Sorry you have an extra kid to take care of right now. ;)

[TwinFoxes]

He wasn't talking to you?!? Insert the biggest "rolls eyes" smilie. His comments were bad enough, but to pout on top of that. Please. For HIS mother no less! :hug:

[vejemom]

Yes please! I can put them on his bench!

Give me your address and I will box em up and overnight them! I'll send maggot hen, too :ROTFLMAO:

[lowrioh]

What an ass! Completely unreasonable and petty on his part. I've BTDT so I completely understand the hurt and feeling that you aren't appreciated. It sucks.
But, I wouldn't escalate the situation. It sounds like you guys had a super busy week and unless he pulls this kind of crap on a regular basis retaliation wouldn't be worth it to me....it would just put more stress on a stressful week.
Sorry you have to deal with it, and hopefully you feel a little better just getting it off your chest.

[twowhat?]

You might have to start soliciting his help (nicely of course)! "Honey, can you help unload the dishwasher so I can give the kids a bath?" "Can you get the laundry out of the dryer while I feed the kids?" Just be sure that YOU are busy too (ideally, doing some chore that completely ties up your hands, like bathing children) when you ask.

I'm starting to get into this groove (it's hard, because I feel like I should'nt have to ask!!) DH is typically very helpful but he does a lot more sitting in front of his computer eating breakfast while I scramble to feed and clean up after the kids so I can take them to daycare and get to work. So, I have started..."Can you get their shoes on while I finish the dishes?", "Can you get their snacks together while I take DD2 to go pee?", etc.

[longtallsally05]

I think I'd have been tempted to say, "Oh, but you're doing such a great job! I think I'll go out to the barn and paint."

[MamaMolly]

My DH is blind to the work I do because he doesn't see it happening either. I guess he thinks the Laundry Fairy and Dish Fairy come. I agree with the PP who suggested that you start voicing your work in a polite way. Bring it to his attention!

I didn't have such good advice, so I acted just like DH and went on a work strike. Just so he could SEE the work I do by it not getting done. We had a nasty sock stand-off that lasted months. Sigh.

[MSWR0319]

You might have to start soliciting his help (nicely of course)! "Honey, can you help unload the dishwasher so I can give the kids a bath?" "Can you get the laundry out of the dryer while I feed the kids?" Just be sure that YOU are busy too (ideally, doing some chore that completely ties up your hands, like bathing children) when you ask.

I'm starting to get into this groove (it's hard, because I feel like I should'nt have to ask!!) DH is typically very helpful but he does a lot more sitting in front of his computer eating breakfast while I scramble to feed and clean up after the kids so I can take them to daycare and get to work. So, I have started..."Can you get their shoes on while I finish the dishes?", "Can you get their snacks together while I take DD2 to go pee?", etc.

I think I'll try this. I also feel like I shouldn't have to ask, but I guess I do. Men just don't get it. Maybe then he'll realize what goes on around here.

Thanks for everyone's comments. I just needed to get it off my chest.

[MSWR0319]

I think I'd have been tempted to say, "Oh, but you're doing such a great job! I think I'll go out to the barn and paint."

:ROTFLMAO: I so wish I would have thought of this!!

[Kungjo]

Sounds like he should sleep on the couch tonight.

[crl]

I think I'll try this. I also feel like I shouldn't have to ask, but I guess I do. Men just don't get it. Maybe then he'll realize what goes on around here.

Thanks for everyone's comments. I just needed to get it off my chest.

My dh is seldom around (always working), but when he is I do a lot of saying things like, "the dog needs to be fed and taken out and the baby needs to be put to bed, which one do you want?"

Catherine

[twowhat?]

My dh is seldom around (always working), but when he is I do a lot of saying things like, "the dog needs to be fed and taken out and the baby needs to be put to bed, which one do you want?"

Catherine

Great idea. I already talk to my almost-3-year-olds this way so this wouldn't be so much of a stretch.

[crl]

Great idea. I already talk to my almost-3-year-olds this way so this wouldn't be so much of a stretch.

Yeah. My dh really doesn't like orders. I guess I don't either, honestly. The choice makes it more palatable around here--just like it does with three year olds. ;)

I totally sympathize with your bitch though. DH has gotten pissy a few times in situations like that and I get furious thinking about all the work I do that he never sees/notices.

Catherine