Today we confirmed that Dd2 has potentially severe nut allergies :-(

[citymama]

DD2 was scheduled for her oral challenge for tree nut allergies today. Well, they couldn't do it because her skin reaction to the fresh ground walnuts was so strong. We came home with epi-pens and heavy hearts. Sure, we can control what she does and doesn't eat at home - especially as a little one year old. But the rest of her life? School, birthday parties, sleepovers, travel? Is this going to constrain her life in ways we still can't imagine? Am I going to turn into an even more over protective mama? And is this going to cause tension between me and my laissez faire DH, whose reaction was "we won't eat nuts and we have an epi-pen. Let's not go off the deep-end."

Tell me how to start figuring out how to be a responsible food allergy mom, and bring my DH and extended family along. I'd love any leads, resources, advice, hugs, whatever you can share. Thanks.

ETA is there any interest in a FA BBB board?

[crl]

I am so sorry! DS reactions were always soooo mild that I don't have much advice for you. But I will say that she may outgrow it. And that it is getting a bit easier to deal with as more preschools are nut free, etc.

Catherine

ETA. Good luck on getting family on board. My MIL, who is a nurse (!), tried to give ds food he was allergic to WHILE he was telling her he couldn't have it; he was five. Dh had to intervene. We haven't visited them at their house since because I was afraid she would sneak milk into his food.

[DrSally]

It's a lot to process and definitely an emotional thing when your child is dx w/FA (or has their first reaction). I'd give it some time to sink in and get accustomed to what you're going to have to do. It's a lot to learn, but it makes a person feel more "normal" and in control once you have it down, KWIM? When it's all new, it's normal to freak out a bit. Things are definitely easier in toddlerhood/preschool. DS goes into a non-peanut free school next year, and I'm getting anxious.

Studies do show that moms (compared to dads) take on the majority of stress about FA, enough that it can affect their quality of life. I can tell you, that I'm the one who knows the ins and outs of what DS can/can't eat. DH has a more vague notion, and is not as worried about it.

Dealing with family/friends who don't get it, advocating for your child, speaking up in situations w/shared food, etc. are issues we've all encountered. We'll be here for you along the way. Did you check out Kid's w/food allergies website yet?

[WatchingThemGrow]

I'm sorry for the wrench in things. The heavy heart and underlying fear are understandable. Hope you get some great suggestions/info to make it a less stressful thing.

[Purple18]

Hi. Sorry to hear about your DD. It's a bummer, but it is do-able. I'm am super overprotective as well and have to really try every day to display a "can do" attitude about dealing with food allergies while still conveying their seriousness to DS1 (severe peanut and tree nut allergy with history of anaphylaxis) and as they get older, his siblings as well (so we can all take care of each other). There is a thread from the other day that might be helpful. Several FA mamas posted here.

http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=402135

Coincidentally, I got my new issue of Allergic Living in the mail yesterday. I would highly recommend. Good ideas/products/recipes, encouraging attitude and good resource. They don't shy away from the emotional issues associated with food allergies, which I underestimated initially. There were some websites mentioned in the magazine that were new to me as well that I want to check out.

One other thing....check out kozyepi.com for cute epi pen carriers. Much easier for kids to deal with when they have a cool carrier. They have excellent customer service.

Good luck!

ETA: I would love a BBB FA board. I think the moms here are very on top of things (thoughtful and intelligent) so I'm sure it would be an excellent resource!

[Purple18]

I just read your OP again and DS1 was diagnosed after a severe reaction to a peanut butter cookie at age 2Y 4M. Both my DH and I were home at the time so he saw the severity. After the ER visit and we were home for the night, I was researching on-line and I was already worrying about him drinking too much in a bar and grabbing a handful of peanuts when away at college (talk about worrying about the future). I still worry about that, but my DH who sounds a bit more like yours has at least kept me focused on the worries to deal with now. So FWIW, sometimes a different perspective in the house can be helpful. ;) DH and I do agree fundamentally and I have kind of fallen into being responsible for educating DH on health things for the kids so I give him things to read on FA and other things all the time and if they are long, like entire books, I flag the most important parts and discuss the rest with him so we stay on the same page - he doesn't enjoy obsessively researching things the way I sometimes do, but he has other good qualities! :) Good luck.

[goldenpig]

:hug: I'm sorry that your DD has nut allergies, that is so stressful! I hope you are able to get the help you need, hopefully others can chime in with suggestions. Here's a website that might be helpful:
http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/

[larig]

aw, sorry about the news, citymama.

[arivecchi]

So sorry to hear this, but you have a wealth of knowledge to tap into here. Good luck mama.

[Beth24]

Just chiming in to send a hug your way. I know you will tackle this just like you have all the othe printing issues you've faced--with intelligence, research and lots of support from everyone around you. And I know you will make the best of the situation for your family and for DD. :hug5:

[alien_host]

It's a lot to process and definitely an emotional thing when your child is dx w/FA (or has their first reaction). I'd give it some time to sink in and get accustomed to what you're going to have to do. It's a lot to learn, but it makes a person feel more "normal" and in control once you have it down, KWIM? When it's all new, it's normal to freak out a bit. Things are definitely easier in toddlerhood/preschool. DS goes into a non-peanut free school next year, and I'm getting anxious.

Studies do show that moms (compared to dads) take on the majority of stress about FA, enough that it can affect their quality of life. I can tell you, that I'm the one who knows the ins and outs of what DS can/can't eat. DH has a more vague notion, and is not as worried about it.

Dealing with family/friends who don't get it, advocating for your child, speaking up in situations w/shared food, etc. are issues we've all encountered. We'll be here for you along the way. Did you check out Kid's w/food allergies website yet?

:yeahthat: DrSally took my thoughts exactly and our DH's sound the same.

I'm so sorry about the diagnosis...DD was diagnosed at 2 yrs 4 months and it is now 4 years later. It is managable but I remember the fear and stress in the beginning was so overwhelming. And stress again w/ pre-school and elementary. But it gets better once you get your routine down and get (if you can) other family members on board.

[veronica]

Hugs to you momma. It is certainly so scary when you see the first reaction and wonder how they will be able to stay safe. DD had her first reaction to peanuts at 22 months and we carry epipens and benadryl everywhere. We are terrified for her to have lunch at kindy, since preK was half day and there were no snacks.

what I can tell you , is that if you are vigilent and reinforce it , as DD grows up, she will be very aware. Maya will not touch anything in a candy wrapper that she does not recognize, not even on Halloween. She knows not to eat cookies and cakes, etc. without asking.

Hugs to you.

[AnnieW625]

So sorry to hear that. I will state that I don't know a lot about allergies because neither of my kids have them so far; we've only done peanuts with DD2 so far. If she tests positive for walnuts does that means that she is allergic to all other tree nuts automatically? Or does that mean that they will test her again for the other tree nuts? I seriously hope they will test her again for those other allergies.

I have a cousin who is allergic to walnuts only and she says that it's actually really easy compared to other nuts. She was diagnosed at around 5 I think. I am not trying to downplay this, just trying to be positive that maybe it's only walnuts and not other tree nuts or peanuts that she is allergic to.

[ilovetivo]

:hug: I'm sorry that your DD has nut allergies, that is so stressful! I hope you are able to get the help you need, hopefully others can chime in with suggestions. Here's a website that might be helpful:
http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/

Ditto!!

KFA now has a free membership that are much more expanded (although family membership is only $25 a year.) I think that would take care of your BBB FA thread. No need to reinvent the wheel. LOTS of free stuff and message board topics, ability to post/search etc with free membership

[MamaMolly]

Ack! I must have been under a rock to have missed this. I'm so sorry citymama. FAs suck the suckiest. No two ways about it.

We also struggled with family members. MIL and FIL are pretty careful but my side of the family? Fugghetaboutit. My mom 'forgot' what Lula is allergic to, and when reminded about the dairy (before she out grew it) mom would insist it was just like DNiece's lactose intolerance. :banghead:

DH thought it wasn't a big deal until he *saw* a reaction. He'd been at work for her dairy and first egg reaction and though he believed me, he didn't seem to get it until he witnessed Lula reacting to an accidental exposure to eggs. Same for my sister, after the egg incident (projectile vomit in her rental car, must have made an impression!) she actually called to apologize for being dismissive when I told her how dangerous and scary it was.

We had Lula's first skin prick test this year, I insisted that DH go along. I will love the allergist forever for looking DH in the eye and saying 'with a peanut reaction like this there is no such thing as being paranoid. You must be vigilant.'

I advise taking your DH along on all allergist visits if you can. It can be so stressful at first, oh my! How stressful! But you do learn to cope. It doesn't get any easier, but you get used to it and it becomes more routine. :heartbeat: my heart is with you! You are not alone!