Parents of Older kids (5>) Are the activities worthwhile as a Toddler?

[PMJ]

For those of you who have school-age children now, I'm wondering IF YOU DID put your child in various classes: Music, Art, My Gym, Dance etc;
do you think that exposure at an early age has helped your child?

Has it helped them:

w/their intellect, verbal skills
or encouraged their interest in the particular activity
or any other benefit

Just curious long-term ..... what the benefits of putting Toddlers in these classes are? Of course the social aspect is there and is obvious.

FWIW, my child is NOT in Pre-school or any type of daycare. She is involved in Mommy group events that we attend (zoo, play-dates, museums etc).

thanks for your input.

[HIU8]

I didn't see a value in them other than fun when they were really little. My children have always been in some sort of daycare/preschool setting though. Now at 6 1/2 I'm seeing the value of karate for DS, and at 4 I'm seeing DD love gymnastics and she is starting to be able to actually pick up real gymnastics skills.

[egoldber]

Well, I mainly did those things for *me* (to keep busy and get out of the house) and for social reasons for DD. I also think things like dance and gymnastics are good for kids as physical outlets, but if they are active anyway, then I don't think it is necessary.

[rlu]

DS did two sessions of Little Gym - it was mainly social for us. Pre-school and especially pre-k helped more in setting him up for school in terms of listening to teachers, sitting when appropriate, etc.

Little Gym did not increase his interest in gymnastics - he's 7 now and just learned how to do a sommersault after watching some kids breakdance. T-ball did increase his interest in baseball.

eta: I think swim lessons for babies/toddlers is going to depend on the kid. We did try mommy&me swimming and it was disaster - it set us back. We belong to a Y with an indoor pool and had been taking DS into that pool with us but when it came time for the class we went with the cheaper Park&Rec which has a salt pool. DS hated that salt water and no longer wanted to play in the Y pool either. We were able to cajole him back him into the Y pool after several attempts and he's been a water-lover ever since. He has taken 4 sets of lessons (he's 7 now) over the last few years. The first two didn't do much and probably weren't worth the money. Last summer and this summer's sessions were totally worth it. DH and I take DS into the pool to practice having watched the teachers and how they taught and as part of our playing we reinforce their lessons. Both DH and I are decent swimmers (we both took Red Cross lessons as kids, I up to "lifesaving" which is personal in nature, DH to "lifeguard") but having someone else be the initial teacher works better with DS so we happily acceded that role. What really helped this year though is that DS can touch the bottom of the pool at the edges which makes him more independent in the pool (we're within arms reach, but still) and gave him the confidence to challenge himself more. He rarely actually puts his feet down, just knowing he could is confidence not a crutch. SO, this incredibly long paragraph is to say I think lessons are important so the small child doesn't panic in the water but age may play a bigger role in learning to swim than we'd like to think.

[bubbaray]

Dance lessons have helped my girls with confidence and gross motor skills. DD#1 started at age 3.5 and DD#2 started at age 2.5. They both shine onstage and love to dance.

There is always lots of debate here about early activities, etc (recent thread that got somewhat heated). *I* believe that with some activities, there is an expectation that the child will start before age 5 (dance, gymnastics, hockey definitely. Figure skating somewhat, and also soccer somewhat). It is hard to start ballet, for example, after age 7/grade 1 in school if the studio is a RAD studio -- they won't be placed with their peers after the pre-primary level. Other forms of dance, it seems to be less of an issue. YMMV

I'm inflexible on early swimming lessons. We did parent/tot swim lessons from age 6m to 3yrs. As soon as they turned 3, both girls were in "on their own" group lessons. We had mixed success with that, but are glad we did it.

[gatorsmom]

Yes, I think it had a benefit. I had the older boys in a lot more activities than I had the twins in and the boys are much more confident and better behaved in social settings. The twins are much more shy, still experience separation anxiety, and don't play as well with other kids their age as my older boys did at that age.

[lilycat88]

Music absolutely has been. DD started with Kindermusik at 15 months and moved to Harmony Road at 3. She's been in some sort of organized music program since (she just turned 7). The reason I think it's worth it is that it became just a part of her life. She plays every day without fail and doesn't think anything of it. It's just what she does and doesn't remember it any other way. DS will be starting the same way this fall.

We didn't do anything else much at an early age. She was in an excellent full day preschool/daycare program so being home with her outside of daycare was more important to us. She did dance when she was 5 but didn't have a desire to do it more.

[pb&j]

Swimming was a great help with both kids, from a water safety standpoint. DS is 5 and can swim independently now. DD can float, and hoist herself out of the pool.

Team/group activities have been a huge bust w/DS so far. We give him lots of other outlets for physical activity, so I don't worry about it too much.

Both kids have weekly music class in their preschool, but we expose them to so much music anyway (tons of musician friends due to DH's work) that music class isn't something I'd seek out for them if school didn't offer it. But it's definitely something that is a high priority for me to expose them to.

DH was a great baseball player and didn't start till elementary school, so I don't think it's the end of the world if your preschooler isn't in a class/sport, even if they want to be competitive someday.

[brittone2]

We skipped most of the toddler classes. We did playdates w/ friends, we went to the museum using a family membership, we did free library storytimes in spurts, and attend(ed) different live music events, arts events, etc as a family.

I have never regretted not doing formal classes. My DS1 didn't want to play an organized sport until this past spring when he wanted to play LL. He was a-ok ability-wise even though he had never been in an organized sport, and jumped right in without any trouble. He did great. And he *wanted* to be there, and was ready for it. DD just started her first classes. She and DS1 took swim lessons this summer, and now she's taking a little drop in ballet class for the summer. SHe's doing beautifully, having never taken a formal class before (she's 4.5).

I think kids can certainly get things out of the classes. I think these classes are the most helpful to parents who don't feel comfortable coming up with ideas at home. I never felt the need to do a "creative movement" class for my 2-3 yo because well...I felt she got plenty out of turning on the music at home and dancing with scarves and engaging in imaginative play with me. I have a background in child development, etc. and I never felt like Gymboree was going to enhance my infant or toddler's skills and ability beyond what I could offer at home. I think some of the classes are fun and wonderful for parents who want/need to socialize w/ other parents, or for people who have their baby and think...oh my...what do I *do* with him/her all day? But in terms of actually getting "skills" out of it, IMO...well, I never missed it. I can put a pop up tunnel in my living room, and build stuff with couch cushions for my kid to crawl over/under, etc. My kids have access to musical instruments at home and other toys that enhance development. THat isn't to say they wouldn't get some benefit from a class, but I really don't think they enhance a child's development all that much (in most cases).

I'm not saying there is no value in classes. However, we've always found plenty of free or low cost events like puppet shows, live music, kid concerts, library story time, museum events, etc. to attend as a family without it being a weekly obligation or a recurring monthly cost. My kids see our enthusiasm for those things, and I think that has a lot of value and surrounding them with rich opportunities is really beneficial. I don't think you need a class for it, however. I don't think most of these classes really enhance kids' actual abilities all that much.

I think they are a helpful resource for people who don't feel confident in knowing how development progresses, or how they can enhance their child's creativity and so forth. And I think they provide a valuable place to meet other parents and get support/forge friendships if you feel a need to get "out" as a parent.

eta: my kids were not ready for swim lessons until recently. THey learned a ton last summer just from us working with them at the pool. Both ended up learning to swim a bit last summer. DS1 really got something out of his group lessons this summer and built on the instruction we provided. He got comfortable w/ the water last summer when we were going to the pool all of the time. He built up his confidence and was ready to try to swim. DD got absolutely nothing out of group lessons that we hadn't already shown her. THat doesn't mean swim lessons don't have value, etc. but I'm just sharing our experience. Her class was a waste of time, whereas DS1's was beneficial to him. I'm still miffed we even bothered paying for lessons for DD...should have gone w/ private from the get-go (and I was talked out of it by the swim director).

I also want to add that my kids have never attended preschool or school (we HS), and have never had a problem being social in classes, introducing themselves to others, or following an instructor. In fact, the instructors/coaches have regularly told us that our children are such a pleasure to work with, are polite and listen well, etc. I point that out only to say that we did not find it detrimental to their ability to take instruction from others, etc. to *not* do classes at a young age. And as I said, they were never in childcare, preschool, etc. where there was another adult who provided instruction. I don't doubt it can help, but I really think there are a million ways to work on this without spending money or time on classes *if you don't want to*. My DS1 was the clingiest toddler *ever* and I always wondered if I should be "forcing" him into a class. In time he blossomed and is not the least bit shy and is very confident and social. Taking an actual class probably would not have made a bit of difference. He just needed time, maturity, etc. to do it in his own time.

[sste]

I thought our music class with a stellar teacher was well worth it for all involved. I have lovely memories of spending that time with him. And I am someone who cam get too caught up in the to dos and miss valuable kiddo time. For my son, it def helped his verbal, gross motor, and social development and instilled a real love of music. The best advice we recd for young kids developmentally was to keep their minds going, going, going. Music class along with other things we did served this purpose. Of course there are other class and non class ways to get these benefits. If you go for a class shop the teacher. The teacher is the key.

[weech]

MIL took DS to music classes starting around 9 months (he's now 15 months) and he has a very noticeable appreciation for music now. Seems kinda silly, but I think he learns a lot from music. MIL told us that music class was the only place were DS was really confident - he marched into the center of the circle and danced his little butt off. This past weekend at a wedding, he marched himself right onto the dance floor with the big people! If they weren't dancing, he would have run from them.

eta - sorry, didn't read the older kids part!

[niccig]

A couple of things.

* social
* confidence
* motor skills with a physical activity
* safety from swim lessons etc.
* listening to another adult etc

I do think some things are easier. Eg. I had DS in the pool from when he was 6 months. He's never been afraid to go in the water. I've seen older kids have a more difficult time with swimming at an older age because fear has set in. That said, we did a range of activities, some arts, some sports.

[AnnieW625]

DD1 is 5 yrs., 3 mos. old.

We did mom n me gym classes through the city from about 10 months until she was almost 2 yrs. old; we did one session of My Gym because I got a good deal on it at an auction, but that was a mess as she had already been to too many parties there that year and wanted to play around and not do the assigned activity.

We enrolled her in group speech therapy at 2/1/2 and it helped her a lot. She was super darn shy and not being able to talk didn't help in social situations. She can now talk like a normal 5 yr. old and has branched out of her shell a bit in small group situations with kids her age and it definitely helped prep. her for preschool, but she is still crazy shy.

At 3 we also enrolled her in pre ballet at a local classical only ballet school because even though she she couldn't hear well she was mesmerized with Dancing With the Stars since she was about 18 months old. We also chose ballet because she needs the strict structure or she is all over the place. She loves ballet and who knows if it will go anywhere career wise, but for right now it seems like a good fit.

Now at 5 we have enrolled her in private swim lessons through a local water polo club (because they were the best deal I could find) and she seems to really enjoy swimming, but I won't encourage her to join any type of competitive swimming of water polo until she is at least 9 or 10.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Yes, I think exposure to different type of movement through dance, gymnastics and swimming was beneficial. I think exposure to a class format is helpful as well as having a chance to interact with different kids as well as the teachers.

I did many for me but I really think the swimming and gymnastics were especially good

Beth

[bubbaray]

I just wanted to add that there has been an academic benefit for my DD#1 with starting stage performances for dance at a young age. She is very shy, but comes alive on stage and (now) has no fear of performing on stage. This has helped her in school, she isn't scared when she has to sing or perform on stage for school (usually at least 2x/year), or when she has to stand up at the front of the class. She is still shy talking to teachers or adults, but put her in a performance situation and voila, she isn't shy.

I absolutely credit her dance with this.

[nfowife]

I did gymboree with both my younger kids, and also gymnastics (parent-tot to start). I wouldn't say their are huge benefits other than giving us something to do outside the house. It helped me to meet other moms (though I'm also in a moms club). I don't have any plans right now to do any similar classes with my baby, because our schedule right now just isn't conducive to it. I might do mom/tot swim in the fall at the same time DS (who's in afternoon pre-k) is doing his morning swim classes at the Y, just for something to do at the same time. Those are cheap so it's not a big investment and I think the baby will enjoy them.

I will say that this year I did see quite a bit of improvement in my older DD's willing to take risks and her coordination from doing gymnastics and dance. This year (5 years in kinder) they seemed to get more focused on skill work and a little less on just "fun" type of stuff. She was ready for that.

[sste]

Sorry did not read carefully. My child is only in preschool!

[Gena]

DS has special needs, so must of his toddler activities/classes where theraputic in nature and they did have huge benefits for him.

We also had him in swim lessons (parent/child classes) from an early age and I do think this was a tremedous benefit to him. He loved them and it helped with motor skills, confidence, and bonding with Mom & Dad. It also gave us (especially me) confidence about being in the water with DS and taught valuable safety skills.

[smilequeen]

They were fun for the kids and good for me to get out and have some adult interaction. I do feel like the gymnastics type classes were good for coordination and I do feel like it was socially beneficial to them. That's about it. I do a little less with each kid but I do still do things.

[g-mama]

I don't really think there is very much benefit other than social, to be honest. We've done music, gymnastics, swimming, art...can't think of anything else...and while they were all fun, I don't think my kids would be any different (other than in social confidence) if we hadn't.

As one example, since many have mentioned swimming, I put my middle ds (almost 8) in the pool and have done swim lessons over and over and over since he was a toddler and he still can't swim. That isn't something we placed as much attention on with my oldest (simply b/c of schedules that didn't work out, having new babies which made it harder, stuff like that) and he is a good swimmer and has been since he was about 4, with minimal lessons. Of course, that is just us, but I just mean to say that you can't say "my child is a great swimmer b/c I focused on early swimming" because it doesn't click with every child even if you do.

My oldest ds is a fantastic soccer player and we started him at age 4.5. I have no doubt whatsoever that, given his natural athleticism, he would be just as great a soccer player if we had plopped him onto a team for the first time in second grade.

[pinkmomagain]

I think that anything that exposes your child to something new, allows them to attend and be part of a group (appropriate to the age) is beneficial. Maybe not necessary, but beneficial.

[hellokitty]

I don't really think there is very much benefit other than social, to be honest. We've done music, gymnastics, swimming, art...can't think of anything else...and while they were all fun, I don't think my kids would be any different (other than in social confidence) if we hadn't.



My feeling about these activities is that it's usually more for the parents. Plus, I look back and cringe at the amt of $$$ we dumped into this stuff. Find a good moms group and do LOTS of playdates. I think that those are better than anything. If you want to do anything structured, do library storytime, it's free and they usually have sort of music time/craft associated with it. Unless your child shows an amazing talent toward something, I just don't think it is necessary to do all of these activities. One reason I signed my kids up for these things was when DS1 and DS2 were little, I was still desperately trying to find mommy friends. I could NOT find any of them, even taking classes, I met a few ppl, but we never became really close. Someone I know started a moms club and I feel that that has been the best thing that has happened for both my kids and myself. We get together several times a wk, I've made close friends from it, I also get the low down from other moms about what classes are like and whether they're worth it or not. It seems that the two that ppl really feel are worth it are martial arts and gymnastics, the other stuff is mostly fluff. Music can be good, BUT I think that it depends a LOT on the teacher. I've taken two different types of classes (musikgarten and kindermusik) and one teacher just rubbed me completely the wrong way, it was a horrible experience, the other one was much better, BUT my son refused to participate in class. However, he would talk about it at home and he IS a very musical child, so for him it was helpful, for my other son the teacher sucked, but even if she hadn't, I don't know if he would have gotten much about of it, he is just generally not much into structured activities.

Oh and I've dumped hundreds of dollars on swim lessons and neither DS1 or DS2 can swim yet. I'm so frustrated. I wish I would have just waited for swim lessons, obviously the mommy and me swim and other swim classes did diddly squat for my two.

[fedoragirl]

I have been thinking about this topic lately because we just moved to a new country and I don't know the language, culture, information about raising kids here. DH helps with that but he's terribly busy with work. So, I have had my almost 18 month old with me all day, everyday. We go out on the weekends when DH is available.
When I was back home (in the US), I took DD to library story times, playdates, and one swim class. I am a teacher and I just don't think scheduling my child's day at this age makes any sense. Children need imaginative play, creative play, and for this, they need time. DD attended a mother's morning out program for a month before we moved. I don't think it enhanced her development in any way. It gave me a few hours a week to do my own thing, though. DD is naturally a social child and has never needed any prompting on playing with others or even, initiating any contact.
I feel bad that DD has no place to go now except for a walk in the stroller. I don't have a car here nor any convenient public transportation so we're stuck at home. I hope to enroll her in a daycare when they have an opening, and hopefully, she'll get some more interaction with her peers.
Culturally, I see that American moms are more concerned about having their babies/toddlers in formal classes. Most of the moms here stay at home with their kids till they start attending school. The children here (in Germany) play in parks, museums, petting zoos, playdates. There are options for Gymboree like classes in bigger cities but most German moms really don't enroll their children in formal classes.
I would like to continue with swim classes for DD because of the safety issue, and also, because I can't swim. Other than that, I try to provide a full day of activities at home.

[Meatball Mommie]

We skipped most of the toddler classes. We did playdates w/ friends, we went to the museum using a family membership, we did free library storytimes in spurts, and attend(ed) different live music events, arts events, etc as a family.

...I think kids can certainly get things out of the classes. I think these classes are the most helpful to parents who don't feel comfortable coming up with ideas at home. .....
...I think some of the classes are fun and wonderful for parents who want/need to socialize w/ other parents...
...I think they provide a valuable place to meet other parents and get support/forge friendships if you feel a need to get "out" as a parent.

I agree with Brittone on the points I snipped above. We did a Gymboree class with a group of moms/kids we already knew so it was just a way to get together and for the moms (and kids?) to socialize. Most of our playgroup kids missed the cutoff for preschool (DS1 was born just a month before the cutoff date) so instead of doing preschool we just did lots of stuff with this same group - museums, library programs, meeting at each others homes, etc. and planning activities for them around a theme. Other than the Gymbo class, we didn't do anything formal with either child. (We tried swimming lessons, but that's a whole 'nother story). I don't think either of my boys missed out on anything. They both play soccer and hockey, take swimming lessons and play piano now at ages 6 and 8. They aren't behind their peers socially or ability wise either.

and just FWIW, DS1 did do 1 year of preschool after our initial "playgroup year" and DS2 did 2 years of Montessori preschool (DS1 started Montessori kindergarten his 1st year of preschool and it worked having both at the same school). But during their toddler years we didn't do much formal stuff - just got together with the same group of moms/kids every week. All their formal activities started in Kindergarten.