question about the Ferber method

[jmestyle]

My 6mo old starts out going to sleep in his crib but awakes 4hrs later and won't settle down again.I take him out and bring him in the swing but lately even that isn't working and he wants to sleep next to me on the couch.
I need to start ferberizing asap.

when he wakes at that 4hr mark, is that when I start?Its hard because its around 12-1am. Also, dos the same method apply to naps? Naps are hard because we are n ot always home for them.I normally just put him down on a couch for a nap or in the stroller.

If I start tonight, I am unable to be consistant tom with the naps since we won't be home.
when this is all said and done, will he be able to nap in any pack and play or crib no matter whos house i'm at?!

[wellyes]

How does he go to bed at night? Do you feed him til he doses off, or rock him til he falls asleep, or do you put him down sleepy but awake?

[jmestyle]

he is drowsy when I put him down.I give him a bottle or nurse him till he is just about asleep, then I put him down and give the paci and leave the room.I have a video monitor and sometimes he awkaes briefly but falls right back asleep.As soon as 12-1 comes along, he is awake and screaming,I try patting him and then leaving but that only lasts a half hr or less.Then I try rocking him or nursing him back to sleep and then put him back in crib but that also only lasts a half hr or so.
I'm so tired I just bring him out to the living room and place in the swing.He stays in the swing for about 2hrs and then he lays with me on the couch and sleeps.
The last 2 nights, he isn't even liking the swing.I think he just wants to lay with me.
My back aches from the couch.My husband won't let me put him in bed with us and I didn't really want that either but the couch is no differant lol

[BabyBearsMom]

Have you read the Ferber book? That has a lot of helpful information. With DD, we would put her into the crib drowsy but awake. Follow the schedule with pats and soothing until she went to sleep. If she woke up at night, I would not pick her up (unless I could tell she had a poopy diaper) and did not feed her. I would just put her back, say soothing words and leave the room. Then return according to the schedule in the book until she went back to sleep. It takes several nights before it works (DD was STTN in 3 nights of doing Ferber).

We follow the same tactics for nap time. When you are sleep training, consistency of location really helps (consistency of everything is actually important), so if you can cancel plans and try to stay in for a couple of days that relaly helps. We did all this at 6 months, since then, DD always falls asleep on her own, almost never wakes up in the middle of the night (except when teething) and will nap just about anywhere. She prefers sleeping in a crib or pack n' play, but will occasionally nap in a stroller or car seat.

I think that the ticket is you have to be really consistent when you are sleep training. It isn't something you can focus on really carefully one day, be lax the next, focus the third day and then expect it to work. Otherwise, you are going to have a lot of screaming nights.

[hoodlims]

I checked out the Ferber book from the library when my daughter was 3 months old. She had been sleeping 3-6 hour stretches but a trip to the East Coast and bed sharing made her start waking up every 30 min to an hour. The edition I got had a great time table on page 112. It goes something like this:

Night 1: When he wakes up the first time, let him cry for 3 minutes. Check up on him, shush him, rub his back, whatever, make it brief. Walk away. He will start crying again. Let it go for another 3 minutes. Repeat. Stretch to every 5 minutes. Repeat at 5 minute intervals. Be consistent and strong. Do this as long as possible until he falls asleep permanently.

Night 2: Same thing, but stretch out to every 5 minutes to begin with. After two 5 minute intervals, stretch it out to 8. Repeat until permanently asleep.

Night 3: Keep stretching. I think you start around 8 minutes, then move to 12.

My memory is a little foggy. The first night we did it she slept 9 hours straight. I was then convinced that she did NOT need to eat every hour. Definitely check out the book from your local library, or just try to memorize the little chart on page 112.

I agree with consistency. It works great but after a few months you may have to try it again. It is much easier when you do it again, everything is much shorter. If it is easier for your husband to handle, go and watch TV while he takes care of it. A lot of people are against letting their babies cry, but they are going to cry no matter what, and it is better to get a handle on it now while your baby has a short memory and cannot hurt himself. At some point you will reach a time when your baby may bang his head in anger, which is as soon as they are mobile. I have a lot of friends who STILL have sleep issues and their babies are over 18 months. At that point, they know they can't do anything about it because the kids can get out of cribs.

Good luck!