? about attending funeral

[zoestargrove]

My aunt passed away. My sister can easily make the wake, but is conflicted about attending the funeral. It is on Wednesday. The first day that she is to work as a dental hygienist in a new office. They scheduled patients specifically FOR HER. She is suppose to work all day long. She is a new graduate and this is her first position. It's temporary as she is covering during a maternity leave and hopes that it will lead to something permanent.

What is the right thing to do here? I'm leaning towards her going to the funeral, but she's sick over the thought of having to call the dentist because they opened the office special for her. The other hygienist does not work on Wednesday.

[TxCat]

I think the office would understand about a funeral and wouldn't give her a hard time about it. That being said... it sounds like they will have to cancel all of these patients that are already scheduled, if I understand your post correctly? Is there a big difference in her only being able to attend the wake vs both the funeral and the wake? I guess the way I see it, is she will still be able to pay her respects to your aunt by at least going to the wake, and that way she won't have to worry about the office scrambling to cancel and reschedule these patients.

[mariza]

I think it would be perfectly acceptable for her to attend the wake only. If she felt so inclined, she could explain her situation to the family, but IMO no explanation is needed. I would send a flower arrangement and show up at the wake to pay my respects.

[mousemom]

Tough call. I would be very conflicted about this as well. But, given the situation (first position, temporary and hoping to lead to something permanent), I think I would go to the job and miss the funeral unless I was very, very close to the aunt.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I think it would be perfectly acceptable for her to attend the wake only. If she felt so inclined, she could explain her situation to the family, but IMO no explanation is needed. I would send a flower arrangement and show up at the wake to pay my respects.

I think this is good advice.

Beth

[kerridean]

Given the economy and such, I would attend the wake, and skip the funeral. Everyone will understand.

[DrSally]

I think it would be perfectly acceptable for her to attend the wake only. If she felt so inclined, she could explain her situation to the family, but IMO no explanation is needed. I would send a flower arrangement and show up at the wake to pay my respects.

:yeahthat:

[amldaley]

I think it would be perfectly acceptable for her to attend the wake only. If she felt so inclined, she could explain her situation to the family, but IMO no explanation is needed. I would send a flower arrangement and show up at the wake to pay my respects.


Tough call. I would be very conflicted about this as well. But, given the situation (first position, temporary and hoping to lead to something permanent), I think I would go to the job and miss the funeral unless I was very, very close to the aunt.

:yeahthat:

In this economy, a new grad is lucky to have a job straight away. While the new employer would not likely fire her over it, is it really a great way to start the job? Unless the aunt helped raise her or they were very close, I say go to the job. In life, wouldn't the aunt have wanted your sister to be successful?

[shawnandangel]

I think she should think about what her aunt would say. Most likely, she would tell her to go to her first day of work and not worry about it. That's what I did when my daughter was just born. My step-father passed away and I was unable to attend either the funeral or the calling hours. I know that he would understand though and I am at peace with my decision.