UPDATE!!!! in OP to I think we've just been dissed!

[ha98ed14]

***UPDATE: I called the wife of another of DH's friends who's in the same social circle. Turns out her DH is one of the groomsmen. She told me that in her invitation was a separate card that said: "You are invited to a private family dinner following the cocktail reception."

Ok, I am pretty sure that the *lack* of card in *MY* invite means that we are not invited to the private family dinner reception, which is fine. We aren't family nor is DH in the wedding party. BUT, are we invited to the cocktail reception? There is no mention of a cocktail reception anywhere on the invitation card itself and nothing else was included in our invite. Should I assume we are invited to the cocktail reception even though there is no mention of it in my invite? Would you email her and ask? It really does affect whether DD and I will go. DH can go by himself, but I am not dragging myself and DD through 3 hours of sitting down time if there is no chance for us to stretch out legs and get a snack. The wedding is at 4 PM FWIW.
________________________________
We got a wedding invite today from a friend of DH's. They are getting married about 1.5 hours away from where we live. The invitation is on fancy 5x7 cardstock and reads as follows:

Names
Nice words about happiness and love
Day, Date, Year
Time
Church Name
Church Address

Please RSVP to XYZ website

The invitation itself says nothing about a reception. (For example, the other wedding we are going to says "Reception to follow at ABC Place" *on* the actual invitation and included a little insert showing a map.) But this invitation says nothing about the reception. The only enclosure was a card telling us where they are registered.

So, I think we have been dissed here. We are supposed to drive 1.5 hours to go to the wedding, but no reception, oh but bring us a gift. FWIW, I checked out the wedding website and they have a picture of their save-the-date card, which we never received, so I know we are B list guests.

Did we not get invited to the reception?

ETA: Grrr... In my world, good manners say that if someone is driving 1.5 hours to go to your wedding, you invite them to the reception!

[nrp]

I've heard of people being invited to the reception but not the wedding, but not the other way around. Maybe the reception is at or adjacent to the church, so they didn't feel that it was necessary to include the information? And the website doesn't say anything about the reception?

[ha98ed14]

I've heard of people being invited to the reception but not the wedding, but not the other way around. Maybe the reception is at or adjacent to the church, so they didn't feel that it was necessary to include the information? And the website doesn't say anything about the reception?

Nope! Nothing! I would have thought there would be some mention of it on the website. Do you think it is possible that they aren't having one?

[nrp]

Nope! Nothing! I would have thought there would be some mention of it on the website. Do you think it is possible that they aren't having one?

I've never attended a wedding without at least a modest reception, but I do recall at least a couple of the punch and cake in the Church narthex variety. Of course, you just never know these days!

[crl]

You might be able to obliquely inquire by saying you need to look for a babysitter and were wondering if they had an estimate for the length of the event? It might be a reasonable question even if there is no reception or you aren't invited to it. After all Catholic weddings vary considerably in length depending on some choices the couple/priest make. And even a short Catholic wedding is long compared to a Methodist wedding. I know dh was stunned at how short our wedding was.

Catherine

[GvilleGirl]

Why would they make you RSVP to just the ceremony though. That to me seems odd. My guess is that it is something small at the church following. I would go wit Catherine's suggestion of asking for a timeline to help with the sitter.

[american_mama]

Well, we were invited to a relative of DH's wedding ceremony and explictly NOT invited to the reception, so it's possible. They'd had too many RSVPs and were past budget, and so they made cuts, and it was DH's cousin's daughter, not someone that close. I was ticked, but got over it. DH's family is low on the etiquette scale - we didn't even get a mailed invitation, just a verbal invite through his mom. Plus, we had a conflict that day with a dear friend's baby shower. We put our harumph's aside, went to the ceremony and enjoyed it, then went to the baby shower, and all was well.

But I do like the other poster's ideas about how to find out if there is a reception you're invited to or not.

[ett]

Why would they make you RSVP to just the ceremony though. That to me seems odd. My guess is that it is something small at the church following. I would go wit Catherine's suggestion of asking for a timeline to help with the sitter.

:yeahthat: I've been to weddings where there is just a small reception immediately after the ceremony, but it usually says that on the card.

[AnnieW625]

I would do what CRL suggested, maybe they honestly forgot the reception card. I know ours was separate from our regular invite.

[fattytuna]

We are supposed to drive 1.5 hours to go to the wedding, but no reception, oh but bring us a gift.

BC, DH and I flew 600 miles to DH's cousin's wedding - we are not close, but we went to represent DH's family. There was no reception. There were hors d'oeuvres served after the ceremony, but by the time we got to them (they were just sitting on trays and everybody lined up to get a piece), DH and I looked at the trays and looked behind us, and we decided to share one piece so that there would still be some left for the people who are still in line.

Similar to american_mam, there was no paper invitation. We were invited via email, and RSVP'ed via email. Everybody on DH's father side was invited via email so we weren't dissed or anything. The thing is, we did notice no mentioning of "reception follows". But DH thought surely there would be a reception when you invite out-of-town guests who have to spend the night. Almost everyone on DH's father's side of the family live 700 miles away from the wedding. Two of DH's uncles and their wives, plus three or four cousins and their spouses all flew that distance to attend the wedding. Apparently none of the other people from DH's father's side thought that they weren't going to get fed either. But then all the cousins went out to dinner near our hotel afterwards. We laughed it off and ended up having a great time.

It wouldn't hurt to ask politely like the op suggested if you really want to find out.

[mommylamb]

My wedding was a very small affair and we had it in a hall at a restaurant. My mother became a JP and married us, hence no need to have the ceremony in a religious institution (which wouldn't have been for us anyway). Our reception was exactly where the ceremony was. Is it possible this one is also at the same location, therefore no need to say go to XYZ place for the reception?

ETA: I honestly don't remember what we printed on the card.

[klwa]

Well, I don't think our wedding invitation included any reception info since the reception was immediately following in the church fellowship hall. Could it be something like that? Or like some I've been to where the reception info was printed on the back of the program.

[TwinFoxes]

You might be able to obliquely inquire by saying you need to look for a babysitter and were wondering if they had an estimate for the length of the event? It might be a reasonable question even if there is no reception or you aren't invited to it. After all Catholic weddings vary considerably in length depending on some choices the couple/priest make.

:yeahthat: I think PPs have pointed out very plausible scenarios of why reception info wasn't mentioned. I was going to say that maybe the card didn't make it into the envelope for whatever reason. We had our reception info on the bottom corner of our invite because I thought it was easier to have just one thing to keep up with.

I'm not sure why you'd need to RSVP to a wedding if there's no reception...planning how many communion wafers to consecrate?

That being said, from my days on The Knot, I definitely remember people saying that they were planning to invite people to the wedding but not the reception. I think they were situations where the entire church expected to go to the wedding, but the B&G couldn't afford a reception that big.

[Green_Tea]

Is there a mutual friend that you could check with to see if they know any other details? PPs have pointed out a lot of good points. I'd try not to get too worked up about it until you know for sure what the game plan for the day is.

[BabyBearsMom]

Maybe the reception is actually at the church. Some churches have halls that people use for receptions. I have also been to a wedding where the reception was just immediate family. I thought that was kind of tacky.

[luckytwenty]

We got married at a synagogue and the reception was in the same building. I seem to recall the language "reception to follow" on the invite, but maybe the bride & groom didn't think that was necessary?

[BillK]

It could be an un-vitation but I'd guess it was just an oversight. :)

[elliput]

Something else to consider- just because you received an invite does not mean that you have to accept it, nor do you have to give a wedding gift.

[vonfirmath]

Similar to american_mam, there was no paper invitation. We were invited via email, and RSVP'ed via email. Everybody on DH's father side was invited via email so we weren't dissed or anything. The thing is, we did notice no mentioning of "reception follows". But DH thought surely there would be a reception when you invite out-of-town guests who have to spend the night. Almost everyone on DH's father's side of the family live 700 miles away from the wedding. Two of DH's uncles and their wives, plus three or four cousins and their spouses all flew that distance to attend the wedding. Apparently none of the other people from DH's father's side thought that they weren't going to get fed either. But then all the cousins went out to dinner near our hotel afterwards. We laughed it off and ended up having a great time.


Those hors de vouers WAS the reception -- a reception does not always have a meal. It's still a reception even if just snacks and cake are served. That's what we did at our wedding and I never considered that it would be bad etiquette or anything. That's the way receptions were when I grew up, so that's what I always expected.

[karstmama]

exactly. reception norms are really regional - my first was more on the cake & punch end, which was explained to the groom's family, who still wanted to know where the band was gonna set up. sigh.

not everyone does sit-down dinners, not everyone expects big hunks of cash in envelopes, so clarify with the bride or her family.

[TwinFoxes]

I think an hors d'ouvres and cake reception is totally fine. But you still should have enough so people don't feel like they have to split one between a couple!

[mytwosons]

My aunt and uncle were invited to the wedding of the child of very good friends. They were a bit confused because there was no mention of the reception on the invitation, but my aunt had listened to countless comments from her friend about the reception. When she inquired, she was told they had not been invited to the reception due to budget constraints. They had been selected to be cut because they were such good friends the hosts felt they would understand.

My aunt was quite upset. To make matters worse, the ceremony was at 11 am, but the reception was a seated dinner. Some of the wedding guests my aunt and uncle knew were making plans for the time between the two events and asked if my aunt and uncle wanted to join them. She was so embarrased to tell them they hadn't been invited to the reception.

[ha98ed14]

UPDATE in OP!

[Melanie]

To read between the lines of your friends' card, I would think everyone is invited to a cocktail reception right after the ceremony - perhaps in an adjacent room/building, but it is strange that nothing was mentioned on the regular cards.

If you are close and want to go but with more knowledge, why not email them via their wedding site and ask for recommendations for a local place the three of you may go to eat after the wedding?

If you're not close, I'd skip it anyway.

[KpbS]

Yes, email or call. You need to make plans either for a sitter, dinner elsewhere, etc. Perhaps it is an oversight since she is having a private family dinner. I think inviting anyone to just the ceremony and not a reception is terribly, terribly rude. If you can't afford it, downsize your wedding!!!

[elektra]

At that point I just would not go. I would go to their registry, pick something in the $40 range, hit "buy" and not look back!

[buddyleebaby]

I'd assume there is a small cake and champagne reception immediately following. I have known several people to have an on sight reception/cake-cutting for everyone and then a banquet later in the day for close friends and family.

All that being said, have you already responded to the invitation? If you have already said you are going, I think you need to go regardless of whether or not there is a reception. Backing out less than a week before would be rude, in my opinion. :bag

ETA: I just went back and read the OP..you got the invite yesterday...is the wedding is THIS week? If so, I would politely decline.

[AnnieW625]

At that point I just would not go. I would go to their registry, pick something in the $40 range, hit "buy" and not look back!

:yeahthat: I would do that too, but I think I would at least send your DH because he is the one that wants to go.

Honestly the whole thing just sounds a little strange and weird. Even the smallest weddings we've been to with between 60 and 100 guests have had at least hor doevres and cake following immediately following.

[arivecchi]

At that point I just would not go. I would go to their registry, pick something in the $40 range, hit "buy" and not look back!
:yeahthat:

I would not go to a wedding if I was so upset about it already. Let your DH go.

[ha98ed14]

Honestly the whole thing just sounds a little strange and weird. Even the smallest weddings we've been to with between 60 and 100 guests have had at least hor doevres and cake following immediately following.

Well, that is the thing, there *IS* an hor d'oeuvre and cocktail reception!!! I know because it was mentioned in my friend's invite. Her card said, "You are invited to a private family dinner following the cocktail reception" BUT there was no mention of the cocktail reception in my invite. So are we invited to the cocktail reception or not?

I am composing an email. How does this sound:

Dear Bride,

Thank you for the invitation to your wedding. I had two questions. Are children invited to the wedding? Additionally, there was no mention of a reception in the invitation. Is one planned? I'm asking because if we need to get a babysitter, I will need to have a time estimate of how long the ceremony + reception would be, or to make other dinner arrangements.

Thank you again for the invitation. We wish you much happiness in your new life together.

MyName

[DietCokeLover]

I guess I would just assume there is a little something after the wedding. I have never been to a wedding where there wasn't at least a small reception.
I think it just wasn't on the invitation.

I don't think I would have ever felt dissed. You either want to go and celebrate with them or you don't. It's that simple for me. But, I'm also not one who is easily bothered by this kind of thing.

[MommyofAmaya]

I don't think I would have ever felt dissed. You either want to go and celebrate with them or you don't. It's that simple for me. But, I'm also not one who is easily bothered by this kind of thing.

:yeahthat: I woudn't go unless I wanted to celebrate their marriage with them and wouldn't be concerned about the other details.

[ha98ed14]

:yeahthat:

I would not go to a wedding if I was so upset about it already. Let your DH go.

I'm not really that upset anymore since talking to my DH's friend's wife. Her DH is a groomsman, so they are going to the "private family dinner." We aren't family and DH is not in the wedding, so I would not expect to go to the private family dinner. No problems there.

The problem is that they did not make it clear if we were invited to the cocktail reception, which we know if happening because the friends' card said:

"You are invited to a private family dinner following the cocktail reception"

But there is no mention of the cocktail reception on the invitation itself. Hence the confusion.

[cvanbrunt]

Well, that is the thing, there *IS* an hor d'oeuvre and cocktail reception!!! I know because it was mentioned in my friend's invite. Her card said, "You are invited to a private family dinner following the cocktail reception" BUT there was no mention of the cocktail reception in my invite. So are we invited to the cocktail reception or not?

I am composing an email. How does this sound:

Dear Bride,

Thank you for the invitation to your wedding. I had two questions. Are children invited to the wedding? Additionally, there was no mention of a reception in the invitation. Is one planned? I'm asking because if we need to get a babysitter, I will need to have a time estimate of how long the ceremony + reception would be, or to make other dinner arrangements.

Thank you again for the invitation. We wish you much happiness in your new life together.

MyName

Don't send the email. If your DDs name isn't on the invitation she isn't invited. You aren't invited to the dinner reception and you may or may not be invited to the cocktail reception. The note sounds like you are trying to get an invitation to dinner for your family. This is a last minute invitation. Don't go. Send your husband if he wants to go.

[ha98ed14]

:yeahthat: I woudn't go unless I wanted to celebrate their marriage with them and wouldn't be concerned about the other details.

But when you are (potentially) dragging your kid an hour and a half in the car, and the whole thing is happening right over the dinner hour (4 PM wedding), it would not bother you to not have any food/ social time. Even if we don't bring DD, DH and I have to sit in the car, then sit through the wedding, which will be over around 5:30. Really, I think they have some obligation to provide some kind of food. A cocktail reception would be more than fine, but at least make it clear on your invitation that you are having one!!!

Really, I could care less that we aren't going to the private family dinner. This is a friend-of-a-friend for DH. We are not family. I in no way expect to go to the dinner. I just wish they could have made it explicit if they were having a cocktail reception and if so, are we invited. There was no mention of it anywhere on the invitation itself. That is really confusing for anyone.

[arivecchi]

I'm not really that upset anymore since talking to my DH's friend's wife. Her DH is a groomsman, so they are going to the "private family dinner." We aren't family and DH is not in the wedding, so I would not expect to go to the private family dinner. No problems there.

The problem is that they did not make it clear if we were invited to the cocktail reception, which we know if happening because the friends' card said:

"You are invited to a private family dinner following the cocktail reception"

But there is no mention of the cocktail reception on the invitation itself. Hence the confusion.I agree that the whole thing is confusing. I would never in a million years throw a wedding and invite some guests to only some events (other than the rehearsal dinner), but at this point, I would just skip it, do something fun with your DD and let your DH drive a couple of hours to the wedding.

[Green_Tea]

Well, that is the thing, there *IS* an hor d'oeuvre and cocktail reception!!! I know because it was mentioned in my friend's invite. Her card said, "You are invited to a private family dinner following the cocktail reception" BUT there was no mention of the cocktail reception in my invite. So are we invited to the cocktail reception or not?

I am composing an email. How does this sound:

Dear Bride,

Thank you for the invitation to your wedding. I had two questions. Are children invited to the wedding? Additionally, there was no mention of a reception in the invitation. Is one planned? I'm asking because if we need to get a babysitter, I will need to have a time estimate of how long the ceremony + reception would be, or to make other dinner arrangements.

Thank you again for the invitation. We wish you much happiness in your new life together.

MyName

Unless your daughter's name was on the invite or it was addressed to "The Jones Family" I would assume that children are NOT invited and would not ask. I would also not ask outright about a reception because I think it puts the bride in a VERY difficult position. We have NO idea why everyone might not be invited and it might be something she has no control over at all. I would simply say something like:

Dear Bride,

We received the invite to your wedding and are so excited for you! Could you give me an idea of how long the festivities will run? We want to make sure we secure a babysitter for the right length of time. Hope the rest of the planning goes well, and see you in a few weeks!

Love,
Molly Jones

[ha98ed14]

Don't send the email. If your DDs name isn't on the invitation she isn't invited. You aren't invited to the dinner reception and you may or may not be invited to the cocktail reception. The note sounds like you are trying to get an invitation to dinner for your family. This is a last minute invitation. Don't go. Send your husband if he wants to go.

Ok. Point taken. I won't send it. But do you not think I should try to clarify *if* DH (or me if I go too) are invited to the cocktail reception? Or just go and play it by ear? If we aren't invited, we can drive through In-n-Out or something.

[rlu]

Ok. Point taken. I won't send it. But do you not think I should try to clarify *if* DH (or me if I go too) are invited to the cocktail reception? Or just go and play it by ear? If we aren't invited, we can drive through In-n-Out or something.

A cocktail reception isn't going to be a full meal, so whether there is one or not, I would hit the drive-through on the way to the wedding. I do think you could ask about approx length regarding the sitter as Green-Tea suggests.

[pinkmomagain]

I would totally decline. You're not close with the bride & groom, doesn't sound like fun, the drive and babysitter seem like more hassle than it's worth.

[ashleybama24]

Ok. Point taken. I won't send it. But do you not think I should try to clarify *if* DH (or me if I go too) are invited to the cocktail reception? Or just go and play it by ear? If we aren't invited, we can drive through In-n-Out or something.

Do you really want to confirm that and make it awkward all the way around for everyone? If you aren't invited you are going to feel like an outcast. The bride is going to feel bad and she has enough stress this close to the wedding. She might do a last minute invite anyway. If you ask and she says yes of course you are invited you are still going to wonder did they invite us last minute because we called them out or were we really invited and they forgot to stuff our envelope with the extra card?

Don't bother and don't waste your Saturday with the drive and hassle. It sounds like you aren't close to them anyway. Who in their right mind has three different wedding events the day of that only certain people are invited to!??!

[Tondi G]

I would probably just decline. You have no clue as to whether you are even invited to a cocktail reception ... that is just rediculous if you ask me. You are having a wedding... lovely... provide some refreshments for ALL of your guests. I don't quite understand a private family dinner .... you are supposed to have a private family dinner for rehearsal. If you can't afford to have a reception for all of your guests then cut your guest list and have a small intimate wedding.

I would email the bride or groom and ask ... maybe the separate card got lost or somehow didn't make it into your envelope. It's a little funny that they didn't include "cocktail reception to follow".

It just sounds like too much to deal with getting a sitter, getting all dressed up, driving a distance to go to a ceremony (gas ain't cheap) and grabbing In n Out on the drive home cause they don't provide a meal.

[Kungjo]

This is causing you too much confusion, incovenience, and stress. If you're not close to the bride or groom (my impression is you're not), I would politely decline and not worry about going. If DH is insistent on going, tell him to go by himself.

I wouldn't go.

[Pinky]

If you're not super close with them, I'd just let it go and not go to the wedding. It sounds like you aren't invited to the cocktail reception either. Who knows why they planned it that way, but I tend to try not to get worked up over stuff like this because it's their wedding and they can plan it however they want. I'm sure there was some reasoning behind it and if not, then they just weren't thinking (or didn't care) about the fact that it would create confusion or hurt feelings.

Don't send the email. If your DDs name isn't on the invitation she isn't invited. You aren't invited to the dinner reception and you may or may not be invited to the cocktail reception. The note sounds like you are trying to get an invitation to dinner for your family. This is a last minute invitation. Don't go. Send your husband if he wants to go. Yep, I agree... I think nowadays if the child's name (or family) isn't on the invitation it means they are not invited.



Really, I could care less that we aren't going to the private family dinner. This is a friend-of-a-friend for DH. We are not family. I in no way expect to go to the dinner. I just wish they could have made it explicit if they were having a cocktail reception and if so, are we invited. There was no mention of it anywhere on the invitation itself. That is really confusing for anyone.

If it was me, I'd assume that since there is no mention of it that means that I was not invited to it.

[kijip]

This is causing you too much confusion, incovenience, and stress. If you're not close to the bride or groom (my impression is you're not), I would politely decline and not worry about going. If DH is insistent on going, tell him to go by himself.

I wouldn't go.
:yeahthat:

Frankly I think inviting some people to reception and some not is bizarre. Invite the number of people to your wedding you can afford to host for whatever level of reception you choose. If anything, I would expect it more likely for a ceremony to be smaller and more private and the reception to be larger and more public. If someone is important enough to me to see me get married, a highly personal moment, then I should do for them anything I am doing for the other guests. Besides a small private service in certain situations, the rehearsal dinner is the only event I would assume would be limited in invites.

[tribe pride]

Well, I've been to multiple weddings where there was an "open invitation" to the ceremony, but a more limited guest list for the reception. These were generally situations where the bride and/or groom were close friends with SO many people, and often had job that were very relational (i.e. teachers who invited their entire class, people who worked at a church and invited the entire youth ministry or congregation to the ceremony, etc.). They wanted as many people as possible to celebrate and share the day with them, but there was no way that they could afford to invite an entire classroom of students, everyone from the church, etc. to the reception. Usually they ended up having cake and punch at the church immediately following the ceremony for everyone who attended that, and then the smaller reception was held somewhere else. No one seemed to have a problem with it, I think most people felt like they would rather be a part of the day in some way rather than be completely excluded. People recognized that sometimes the bride and groom just couldn't, for whatever reason, limit their guest list, and realized that there were financial constraints.

Is it possible that a scenario like this could be going on, and is why the bride and groom have limited who is able to attend the reception? OP, I'm sorry that the invite isn't clear about whether or not you're invited to a cocktail hour. If I were in your shoes, I would either send an email like the one Green Tea suggested, or I would just send DH on his own. It seems odd to me that the bride and groom wouldn't provide some sort of food for all of their guests, even if it's just at the church (particularly for out of town guests!), and so that they can mingle with everyone and greet those who have come to celebrate their marriage.

Reading all of these reponses reminds me of how weddings are often celebrated so differently among people of different backgrounds and traditions!

[crl]

I would just send regrets. I agree that the whole thing is a bit confusing. And way to stressful to be bothered with at this point.

Catherine

[crayonblue]

:yeahthat:

Frankly I think inviting some people to reception and some not is bizarre. Invite the number of people to your wedding you can afford to host for whatever level of reception you choose. If anything, I would expect it more likely for a ceremony to be smaller and more private and the reception to be larger and more public. If someone is important enough to me to see me get married, a highly personal moment, then I should do for them anything I am doing for the other guests. Besides a small private service in certain situations, the rehearsal dinner is the only event I would assume would be limited in invites.

Totally!!!!!!

[ThreeofUs]

I'd assume it was just an invitation to a wedding. Go or just send a card, but I wouldn't call.

[mackmama]

I just read your update. I'd probably just contact the bride and say "I understand there is a cocktail reception after the ceremony, and I'm wondering if we are invited. It's okay if we are not, I am just trying to figure out childcare." I usually think being pretty straightforward is the way to go.

[ett]

I just read your update. I'd probably just contact the bride and say "I understand there is a cocktail reception after the ceremony, and I'm wondering if we are invited. It's okay if we are not, I am just trying to figure out childcare." I usually think being pretty straightforward is the way to go.

Sorry, but I wouldn't ask the bride that. That is just really awkward.

[MommyofAmaya]

But when you are (potentially) dragging your kid an hour and a half in the car, and the whole thing is happening right over the dinner hour (4 PM wedding), it would not bother you to not have any food/ social time.

It would not bother me if I cared enough about the person to go to the wedding. I vote to send DH on his own b/c it sounds like you aren't close to the bride, and if that is the case, I definitely wouldn't email her. Stay home with DD and order a pizza!

[kristenk]

I like Green Tea's wording and would use that *if* you want to attend the wedding. If you don't want to attend the wedding enough that it doesn't matter whether there's food or not, then don't attend the wedding and don't send the email. (I understand you're just trying to get clarity, but I can't tell if you really want to attend this wedding or not.)

I'd guess that everyone is invited to the cocktail reception, but who knows?! It seems as if lots of people are doing things with weddings and invitations that go against everything my mother told me to do!

ETA: And are you sure of the 4pm-5:30pm wedding ceremony timing that you mentioned? That seems like a loooooong time for most wedding ceremonies. Is it a Catholic mass? or something else that would take a long time? I'd assume that a typical wedding would be over long before 5pm hit.