Movie Viewing Tension

[belovedgandp]

I'm looking for any BTDT advice, perspective on how within normal this behavior is, and reassurances that my kids aren't crazy.

My older two get ridiculously tense watching movies. My 4YO can cover his eyes on the couch during an episode of Word World.

The 7YO has been avoiding going to summer movies because he doesn't like them. I've been giving him choices on some hot afternoons and he's always chosen the alternative. Once he even stayed with Grandpa and read a book instead. This morning I attempted to go see Despicable Me with all three kids. They knew if 1YO couldn't handle it or either 4 or 7YO got scared we would leave. We only made it 45 minutes in and it was the older two who insisted we leave not the 16 month old.

I think I could have talked each of the older two through the movie if we were one-on-one, but there's no way in a big theater with all three kids by myself that I was going to make that happen. I'm not a huge movie fan, but I'd like to be able to take my kids to the movies without it being an ordeal. The two older ones did do Cars 2 with us the other weekend, but there were two adults with two kids and some talking to get through that too.

[kijip]

I don't see any need to push them to watch certain movies if they are upset by them. My older son is like this and we just let him watch what works for him. Now that he is older, he is interested in watching more. Movies are very intense stimulus, with dramatic music, fear etc. There is nothing wrong with a kid who finds it overwhelming anymore than there is something wrong with a parent, who on becoming a parent is no longer able to watch dramatic scenes with violence or tragedy involving children. Basically, they are finding something that is designed to be suspenseful and scary, scary. Stands to reason.

[brittone2]

I agree w/ Katie. I have a sensitive 7yo. His tolerance has been increasing gradually and when we do the occasional movie night he can now enjoy things that were scary for him at one time. He still is not ready for things like Star Wars and other movies many 7yo would not fine scary. Anything super suspenseful, etc. can be tough on him too.

FWIW, my 4.5 yo DD is following in her big brother's footsteps. She rarely makes it through a full movie when we have a movie night. She has a very low tolerance for scary/suspenseful stuff. (Santa Paws left her bawling hysterically last Christmas...)

The first movie they saw in a big theatre? The Babies documentary. Boring for many kids, but just right for my kids LOL. The whole theater experience greatly magnifies the intensity of any movie IMO. There are things they could probably watch at home that in the theater would be too much for them.

I expect my kids will get there, but I have no plans to try to push them on this point. Disclaimer: my kids rarely watch TV. We rent the occasional movie for movie night (once every 1-2 weeks, sometimes less). Maybe they just aren't used to that type of intensity being put on a screen? However, interestingly, my DS1 also doesn't do well with super intense or scary books. Lemony Snickett was okay for him, but not before bed. That's as scary as he can handle. He tends to self-censor on scary stuff now...he knows what is usually "too much" for him if I give him a little rundown of what he might encounter. He is definitely working his way into more intensity, but again, I'm not going to go out of my way to force it on him.

[pinkmomagain]

My nephew is similar to this and he is almost 15 yo. Alot of situations in TV and the movies make him uncomfortable. It's not even the scary so much as people being emotionally hurt, bullied, cheated on, embarrassed, etc. His dad (my BIL) is very similar. All I can tell is that they are great guys!!! It's kind of a quirk.

[egoldber]

I agree that some people just don't like tense movies. I am one of them. :wavey: And both my DDs are that way as well.

[brittone2]

I agree that some people just don't like tense movies. I am one of them. :wavey: And both my DDs are that way as well.
Same here. Pre-kids, I was fine w/ them. After having kids, I really find many movies too tense, dark, or violent. I really don't like sad movies anymore either, for that matter.

None of the above bothered me all that much before I became a mom.

[egoldber]

Maybe I am a little worse since having kids, but I have never really enjoyed movies with a lot of tension. I don't mind spoilers for this reason.

Violence itself does not bother me. I'm fine with action movies (James Bond or Terminator type movies for example) and thrillers, but any movie with a big build up to something uncomfortable that happens to the main characters, nope, don't like it. So that excludes many/most dramas and psychological dramas and even a lot of comedies.

[KpbS]

Basically, they are finding something that is designed to be suspenseful and scary, scary. Stands to reason.


I agree that some people just don't like tense movies. I am one of them. :wavey: And both my DDs are that way as well.

:yeahthat:

This is me and DS1 as well. They showed Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs at school last year and he had intense nightmares for weeks following it. He is still having nightmares from this movie. He has seen very very few "kid" movies as a result. People are often shocked when they find out. We went to the new Winnie the Pooh movie this past weekend (1st theater movie for DS1 and DS2) and he got pretty scared (although it was brief) during the 1 suspenseful part. It is just part of how he is hardwired. I HATE being scared and find a lot of suspense pretty nervewracking--way, way more than the average person I'm sure. So to answer your question, I don't know how common it is, but DS1 is definitely like your DC in this way. They aren't alone :)

[egoldber]

Ugh, yes shows at school are a problem. Older DD's third grade teacher thought it would be fun to show Curious George episodes at lunch. Guess which show epitomizes the type of show she hates (beloved main character, deliberately doing things that you know will get them "in trouble")? And kids did make fun of her for not liking it. :( This is one reason I hate videos in the classroom, even "benign" ones.

[kristac]

Ugh, yes shows at school are a problem. Older DD's third grade teacher thought it would be fun to show Curious George episodes at lunch. Guess which show epitomizes the type of show she hates (beloved main character, deliberately doing things that you know will get them "in trouble")? And kids did make fun of her for not liking it. :( This is one reason I hate videos in the classroom, even "benign" ones.

My boys (6.5 and 4) can't take Curious George either. ...sigh... I was hoping it was something they would out grow but reading to above replies looks like that may not happen. They do seem to do better in group settings- i.e. watching something at school or in a theater with a group of friends. Maybe the peer presure or they are more distracted?

[HIU8]

On the other side of the spectrum, I should be worried that BOTH my kids seek out movies and shows with tense vibes. My DS has been a Star Wars fan since age 4. He has seen ALL the movies and LOVES them. DD also is into them and into curious george and things like that. She enjoyed Kung Fu Panda 2 also. They don't get that from me, who shuts my eyes and puts my fingers in my ears during tense moments in shows.

[Cam&Clay]

Ugh, yes shows at school are a problem. Older DD's third grade teacher thought it would be fun to show Curious George episodes at lunch. Guess which show epitomizes the type of show she hates (beloved main character, deliberately doing things that you know will get them "in trouble")? And kids did make fun of her for not liking it. :( This is one reason I hate videos in the classroom, even "benign" ones.

I am so relieved that I am not alone in hating to watch or read Curious George. Even now, I cannot stand the fact that he is always doing the wrong thing and will get into trouble. You can tell her that I don't like those shows either!

Like Cat in the Hat...he messes up the entire house! What if it's not fixed by the time mother gets home?

[vejemom]

I hate Curious George. I spend the whole show wondering why the man in the yellow hat doesn't have to have a dangerous animal permit to keep George. :hysterical:

[SnuggleBuggles]

My ds1 is the same way and I just keep trying to find movies that I know are tame. Sometimes I get surprised as to what bothers him so I really have to be sure about a movie.

Beth

[n2ou]

My dd (8 years old) completely lost her cool at Cars 2. Lightning and Mater are like family members in our house and she could not take the tension.

"Theeeee worst movie ever!" as far as she is concerned.

[belovedgandp]

Ok, I'm feeling reassured that we are not the only ones. When we left today my 7YO could articulate different ways the story could have ended; he really had some good ideas that would have made him happy.

It became an issue with the beginning of first grade last year. Two birthday parties involved movies that DS had issues with. One was in a home and he just left the room and the other was at a theater.

I'm not pushing them to watch shows they don't want to. Cars and today's attempt were our only ones in almost a year. I figured I was crazy for taking the 1YO not the other two.