Please teach me how to be more 'in the moment' when playing with my kids

[ourbabygirl]

I'm a SAHM (DD is 2.75; DS is 9 months), having a hard time staying focused when playing with my kids. :bag It's hard with my daughter, in particular, when we have a long stretch of morning of playing and DS is up sleeping for 1.5-2 hours. We used to go out and do things (story time at the library, zoo, water park, music classes, ECFE classes, etc.) in the mornings, but now that DS is napping, we're stuck home and I'm getting bored just 'playing.' ;) I guess I'm more of a people person and a busy-body than I thought; I like to be 'doing' something more constructive, so I have a hard time just sitting on the floor with DD, playing dollhouse or whatever else it is.

How do you keep yourselves 'in the moment' and not get bored when playing with your young kids, when you're just at home? I hate saying that, but it's been hard for me lately. This week has been particularly sweltering, so we've been stuck inside in the a/c.

Thanks for your help!

[MommyofAmaya]

No advice, but I REALLY do not enjoy playing. I do like to cuddle though. I hope that makes up for it. ;)

[citymama]

Read to them. I find it hard to be distracted when I'm reading.
Let them take the lead - and play with each other where possible.
Organize projects when they're asleep - put out the art supplies and felt paper and glitter glue - I find it hard to be organized and energetic when they're jumping all over me.
Get outside - playground, backyard, sidewalk chalk, trikes. You don't really need to be "on," just alert to their safety.
Organize playdates - kids can entertain kids, parents can drink cool beverages and chat. ;-)
Put away your smart phone. I am totally indisciplined when I have it on.

Now I need to follow these above steps as well!

[gamma]

Maybe get the baby used to napping in the stroller for his am nap. then he can nap while your DD plays at the park or at other activities.

[Laurel]

I am the worst at playing with my kids like this for long periods- I am definitely not "in the moment" and feel trapped and bored. Not to mention that I don't really get to play; my kids want to take the lead and give all direction of what to do, say, etc.

Instead, I try to: incorporate them in whatever chores I do, take them out and about (I know this isn't an option for OP), read to them, play music and dance. These are things that are mutually enjoyable.

When I do get on the floor and play, I will usually do it in short bursts (i.e. play dollhouse for 10 minutes then go back to folding laundry). I try to commit to being fully present for these short bursts.

I will say my kids both play very well on their own and don't seem to rely on me for entertainment. YMMV.

[pinkmomagain]

No advice, but I REALLY do not enjoy playing. I do like to cuddle though. I hope that makes up for it. ;)

This was me too. I'm a horrible player. I'll pretend while I'm doing something else though. But I would spend alot of time cuddling, kissing, etc. And some reading.

[MSWR0319]

I just wanted to thank you for posting this! It makes me feel like less of a "bad" SAHM knowing I'm not the only one who isn't always "on". This week has been hard on us too. I'm getting bored and DH has people in town for work, so I get no conversation till late!

[Momit]

I'm not a great player, either. Snuggling, reading etc. are more my thing. I was home with DS from age 6 months to 2.5 years. I would try to get him to do something on his own for 5, 10, or 15 minutes and then I'd go join him before he came around looking for attention. I'd ask for his help with jobs like carrying laundry to be put away, sweeping the floor etc. Art projects were good too. And playing outside in the sprinkler or sandbox. And having a friend over once in a while. I got some good play/craft inspiration from books like the Toddler Busy Book and Preschooler Busy Book.

[Nechums]

This sounds like me. DH is amazing at it and watching DH with DS always makes me feel inadequate.

I find that my biggest problem is that my mind is always elsewhere -- thinking about what to make for dinner, what I need to clean, the laundry that needs to be folded, etc. Once I forgive myself for leaving chores and tasks undone, then I'm able to focus more on being DS's playmate. For me, it's really just mind control. Oh, and to echo other PP - I always needs to put my smartphone on silent and out of sight.

[California]

Feel the same way here, too. I set a timer and that helps a lot! Ten minutes of play, ten minutes of getting stuff done.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Ok, my kids are weird. They don't actually want me to be involved. They have their own little world of play that goes on and on all day. I provide snacks and drinks. When DD completely figures out reading, I'll be completely left out of their day.

[elephantmeg]

honestly, those ages are sooo hard. I felt so drained. So I will say that it gets easier-especially as they play better and the immagination takes off.

[jent]

Feel the same way here, too. I set a timer and that helps a lot! Ten minutes of play, ten minutes of getting stuff done.

We do that at times too, and it has often worked out well.

When I was working part time, I found that on my home days, I had a list of stuff that I really needed to get done (laundry, cooking, etc) but DD would always be pulling at me to play with her and it was like a tug of war all day. The timer thing kind of came around by accident- I think I was cooking, DD was begging me to play, and I said, "all right, we can play, but in 15 minutes I've got to check on the chicken" and set the timer. I think she liked knowing that she had my full attention for that period of time. And it worked for me too-- it's easier to play stuff like dollhouse when you know you'll only be doing it for 10 minutes.

I also tried involving her with what I was doing, but that only worked some of the time; now she usually turns me down when I invite her to help me cook.

IKWYM about feeling guilty for not enjoying playing with her more. As I was growing up, I always loved playing with younger kids. This is the part of parenthood that I thought would be fun! I agree though that a big part of it is when you have other things on your mind, as PP said. I find it much easier to play with DD when I don't have anything else hanging over my head. Also, it's hard to keep that open-ended play up all day.

[SpaceGal]

Yeah I'm a horrible hands on player too. I like reading to them and sometimes playing legos and playdoh. I'm just a busybody too...need to get stuff done or just plain old reading the BBB and FB.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I just wanted to thank you for posting this! It makes me feel like less of a "bad" SAHM knowing I'm not the only one who isn't always "on". This week has been hard on us too. I'm getting bored and DH has people in town for work, so I get no conversation till late!

:yeahthat:

i do play with DS a lot but with DD it's so hard since she can't do as much, so she often jsut is in a bouncer or on a play mat. i often am letting ds play around and do his own thing while i fold diapers, or worse, sneak onto my ipod to browse bbb. :bag: ifeel bad but it's so hard when u get zero adult conversation all day, and i want to get as much chores as possible done during the day so at night i can have some time to rest

[zoestargrove]

It definitely gets easier as they get older. I like imaginary play with them now, but when they were the age your children are it drove me mad. I could be in the moment much easier reading to them, doing a craft, walking around the block, in the woods. It was really difficult turning off my brain from the million things that needed to get done to play the monster and chase them around the yard over and over- that became Dh's niche.

I think the trouble was there was a bigger mountain of work that needed to be done around the house because at that age, they need you all the time. My boys are now older, can do more for themselves and can play longer on their own. I definitely have more time to take care of the house, dinner, myself and its easier to give my undivided attention when they ask to play a game, read a story, do a craft, etc. (also, at this age, games, projects, imaginary play etc are infinitely more interesting.)