Answering DD1's questions about "girl stuff"...?

[sarahsthreads]

So I picked up the "The Care & Keeping of You" book today, but I think it's a bit too mature for DD1 (6.5 years old). But today she asked me what a tampon was for (there was a dispenser in the public restroom we were using) and when I reminded her it was for when grown-up girls had their period, she asked "what's a period?"

Considering I haven't had a private moment in the bathroom since DD1 became mobile 6 years ago, and I've answered that question (or so I thought) more than a few times already, I thought that along with having a sit down conversation with her, it might be useful to have a book available to her. Also to me, since I'm not quite sure what words to use now at this age. (I used to just tell her that it was something that grown-up girls got once a month that didn't hurt, and that it wasn't something she really needed to worry about for a while yet. I never really got into the whys and wherefores because she didn't ask!)

FWIW, I do really think I should start feeding her more information. I got my first period at 10, my mom was only 9, and although I can't imagine DD1 starting younger than 9 I'd hate for her to get it before having a reasonable grasp of the whole concept, kwim? Also, she's going to be a younger in 2/3 multiage class next year with girls who are close to 2 whole years older than her. I imagine the (mis)information will be running rampant in that age group...

So, does anyone have a suggestion for a book that would be more age appropriate for her that she can reference and I can use to jump-start our conversation?

Thanks!
Sarah :)

[lalasmama]

We're a Christian household, so our wording/information may or may not work for you (I can never remember who else around here is raising a Christian family).

"That blood is special blood that is in teenager and grown up women's uterus [a word she was taught when she asked why her step-sister-type swallowed the baby and wouldn't poop it out]. When there's a baby in there, that special blood helps God make the baby grow. But when there's not a baby in there, once a month, God lets the blood come out so that the lady knows that God isn't growing a baby in her uterus right then. Big kids and grown ups grow good with fresh food. Babies grow good with fresh mama's milky. And babies growing in a mama's uterus needs blood that is fresh, so that's why God helps give the uterus fresh blood every month, so if He decides that the lady will be a mommy, the baby will be able to grow so strong and healthy!"

Thankfully she hasn't asked how a tampon is used. She's asked how a baby gets in there (a special hug was the answer, because, as above, she thought babies crawled into your mouth and you swallowed them in your sleep, then they made it to your tummy, and there they grew). She has yet to ask how a baby gets out, or how/where the "not-gonna-be-a-mama-yet" blood comes out.

I bought "The Care and Keeping of You" for a friend's daughter (friend had asked about recommended books, and we happened to find it at Goodwill). I'm not ready for my daughter to start reading it yet!

[Katigre]

I tell my kids that my body makes a house for a baby each month and if a baby isn't growing in my body then I bleed - that it doesn't hurt, it's my body's way of clearing out the unneeded tissue. I tell DD that when she's older she'll 'have blood' too (that's what she calls a period right now since she's just 2). She finds my pantyliners and diva cup fascinating.

DS (5) knows about sperm and eggs, just not how exactly they get together, and he'll sometimes comment that he won't get a period when he grows up since he's a boy, but he'll get to make sperm to make a baby instead.

I'd also tell your daughter a bit of anatomy, that she has 3 holes (anus/vagina/urethra) and the vagina connects to the uterus. You can watch some cool animated videos on youtube of these things - that is how DS really 'got' the idea of how sperm work.

[Tondi G]

This might work for you

http://www.amazon.com/Period-Girls-Guide-JoAnn-Loulan/dp/0916773965/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311136429&sr=1-1

[bubbaray]

I tell my kids that my body makes a house for a baby each month and if a baby isn't growing in my body then I bleed - that it doesn't hurt, it's my body's way of clearing out the unneeded tissue. I tell DD that when she's older she'll 'have blood' too (that's what she calls a period right now since she's just 2). She finds my pantyliners and diva cup fascinating.

DS (5) knows about sperm and eggs, just not how exactly they get together, and he'll sometimes comment that he won't get a period when he grows up since he's a boy, but he'll get to make sperm to make a baby instead.

I'd also tell your daughter a bit of anatomy, that she has 3 holes (anus/vagina/urethra) and the vagina connects to the uterus. You can watch some cool animated videos on youtube of these things - that is how DS really 'got' the idea of how sperm work.


:yeahthat:

FWIW, this is how they explained it in the sex-ed class for primary age kids through our PAC this past spring.

[american_mama]

I just read "Care and Keeping of You" today and thought it was adequate enough that I will buy it for my 9 year old. I don't think it'swrong for my 6.5 year old, just not as relevant for her.

I'd also recommed "It's So Amazing" which is mostly about conception, and male/female differences. I can't recall what it says about periods. I think it's a tad advanced for my 6.5 year old, but she's finding it fascinating. "It's Perfectly Normal" is too advanced, covering sexuality in all its forms. "It's Not The Stork" is great for maybe ages 7 and under, but I don't think it has anything about periods.

I have all the above books out from the library, which is an easy way to preview them.

My pediatrician also recommended "The Feelings Book" but I haven't looked into it yet. From a glance on amazon, it appears to be a companion to Care and Keeping of You, but about emotions, so perhaps not great about periods.

Oh, I know a good resource. There is an online brainpop video about periods which I watched several months ago with my then 8 year old, see http://www.brainpop.com/health/personalhealth/period/preview.weml. It's a slide show/video with cute narration, but I think you have to register to view it. The computer instruction tends to enchant my kids; they'll watch absolutely any topic if brainpop covers it. eta: The one thing I don't like is that the normal narrator, a young man, gets flushed and embarassed at the topic, so it's narrated by two girls instead. Not a great message about normalcy or a great way to educate boys, IMO.


ETA: Checked this morning and "It;s Not the Stork" says nothing about periods. "It's So Amazing" has two pages on ovulation, fertilization, periods, all described appropriately for children in elementary school. The cartoon drawings weird me out, but I'm not the intended audience.

[egoldber]

I agree that the Care and Keeping of You is better for older girls who are approaching puberty more imminently. We got it for older DD for her 9th birthday.

At age 6 I think I just talked more generally about the basic of the biology: every month we don't make a baby, ourbodies have to get rid of the extra stuff not needed to make that baby.

It's Not the Stork and It's so Amazing are very good books.

[Katigre]

Thinking more...for "What is a Tampon for?" I'd say "It goes into a vagina and is like a skinny sponge that soaks up the period blood so that underwear doesn't get messy. Some ladies prefer tampons, and some prefer pads which are taped into their underwear instead."


FWIW, this is how they explained it in the sex-ed class for primary age kids through our PAC this past spring.
Whew - good to know that i'm on the right track then! :)

[Meatball Mommie]

Well, even though I have 2 boys, these questions have come up - we are very open about our bodies in our house and the boys see me naked frequently (coming out of the shower, changing clothes, running to the laundry room for undies ;) ). I've had a more in depth discussion with DS1 who is almost 8. He saw the tampon string and wanted to know what it was for. I just said that every month women's bodies prepare for a baby, but if God doesn't put a baby there, then the body has to get rid of its preparation. It may look like a lot of blood, but it's really not that much and it doesn't hurt at all (didn't think it was necessary to mention cramps!). I personally wear a tampon and it's just a piece of cotton to absorb the blood. I have to take it out when it's full and put in a new one and the string is just the way I pull it out.

Luckily he hasn't asked too many specific questions about why God doesn't make a baby grow that aren't answered with "Well, God listens to Mommy and Daddy when we say our family is the right size now and we don't want to have any more babies". We haven't really gone over the man's part in the whole baby making thing...I'm not ready for that discussion yet!

[sarahsthreads]

I just said that every month women's bodies prepare for a baby, but if God doesn't put a baby there, then the body has to get rid of its preparation. It may look like a lot of blood, but it's really not that much and it doesn't hurt at all (didn't think it was necessary to mention cramps!). I personally wear a tampon and it's just a piece of cotton to absorb the blood. I have to take it out when it's full and put in a new one and the string is just the way I pull it out.

OK, so I basically told her this and that was the end of it - no questions. But I do think I'll pick up a copy of It's So Amazing, and I'll keep the Care and Keeping of You around to give to her in another couple of years.

Thanks! I knew you all would have good answers!

Sarah :)