Okay moms of multiples or babies close together...

[JoyNChrist]

...how do you keep them from terrorizing each other??

E & S (who will be 1 next month, OMG, how did that happen?!) are driving each other crazy. Constantly slapping each other, biting each other, taking toys, pulling each other down when one stands up or pulls up on something. I feel like I spend all day refereeing. What do you do about this? Just keep them separated? I can put them in playpens or the exersaucers, but then I feel bad because they're not getting to crawl around and play. Or if I put one in one of those things and let the other one down to play, the one in the playpen or exersaucer screams the whole time.

I know this is kind of part of the whole sibling thing, but neither of them is old enough to know not to hurt the other, so it's hard. Any tips, or do I just have to kind of wait it out?

[twowhat?]

Honestly the only thing you can do is to keep refereeing.

I once tried to put my twins in the same room with a superyard section between them. They tried to terrorize each other through the superyard AND got really upset that they couldn't get AT each other. It was funny, but not really.

You DO have to constantly referee. It's EXHAUSTING. I feel your pain. It's also amazing how early they start...my girls started fighting by 6 months (I have some good video of it that I can laugh over now). By the time they were crawling they were deliberately trying to hurt each other. One time DD1 took a toy away from DD2. DD2 got really upset, got on all fours, and HEADBUTTED her sister backwards into the wall!!! They had both just barely started to crawl! Both DH and I saw it and we were so shocked we could only gasp and stand there with our jaws on the floor for a minute.

Just redirect, redirect, redirect. At some point eventually, they learn to be more civilized with each other. We're not there yet but we've made progress. They seldomly try to hurt each other now, but arguments take place in a different way...

And, YES IT SUCKS!!!

eta: it sucks, yet it is amazing all at the same time. Just wait - your twins will soon be doing things so sweet to each other that it will melt your heart.

[Melaine]

:yeahthat: It is so hard. I found that we had to institute time-out SUPER early. When they deliberately hurt the other one, I took the offender to the crib for a couple minutes. I wish I had some better advice.

[swissair81]

I don't have twins, but my middle 2 are 19 months apart. They terrorize each other all the time. I either spend lots of time refereeing or I separate them. I'll have my son play in his room, and my daughter play downstairs. I keep hoping things will get better.

[gatorsmom]

You DO have to constantly referee. It's EXHAUSTING....

Just redirect, redirect, redirect. At some point eventually, they learn to be more civilized with each other. ...

And, YES IT SUCKS!!!

eta: it sucks, yet it is amazing all at the same time. Just wait - your twins will soon be doing things so sweet to each other that it will melt your heart.

:yeahthat: Twins are just a lot of work, period. I did lots of talks about how nice it is to share and asking them why they wouldnt be nice to each other. But it's amazing how they can be slapping each other one minute then sharing and playing together the next. As soon as mine could walk with their sippy cups, I'd fill 2 cups of milk and one twin would automatically bring the other twin's cup to him/her when getting his/her own. It was so sweet. :love2:

[TwinFoxes]

I think my girls weren't as aggressive with each other as your two seem to be, but we definitely went through a hair pulling stage, and a (thankfully) short-lived S biting stage. I was the human buffer, I was always sitting right there between them when they were together. Of course I didn't have an older kiddo to make it harder. But really, it's the only thing that seemed to work.

[ha98ed14]

*NO* experience, but could you do two PNPs about a foot apart and have them in their own parallel spaces to play for a while, and then take them both out at the same time to move on to the next activity? That way it would be "fair". They are both contained and they can see the other one is too, so it's not like one is out and around and one is in baby jail. (That's what we called it.) It might give you 20 minutes of time not to have to referee.

[kellyd]

Mine aren't this agressive either but certainly have their moments. Sometimes since big brother LOVES to get into the crib w/ one or both of them I'll put the more agressive into the crib w/ her brother. Brother jumps w/ them in the crib and they both expend some energy :D. They for some reason don't get overly grabby with him. Otherwise I will try picking up and holding one of them to give them a break from each other.

[fivi2]

:yeahthat: It is so hard. I found that we had to institute time-out SUPER early. When they deliberately hurt the other one, I took the offender to the crib for a couple minutes. I wish I had some better advice.

As usual, ITA with Melaine. That is exactly what we did.