I finally have something positive to say!

[ha98ed14]

Thanks a lot.

[JBaxter]

But what about what SHE wants. What if she wants to play softball or LAX? My mother had a goal of me playing piano and forced the issue....Lets say that didnt go well. Its nice to have things you want your child to do but please dont try to re-live your childhood or what you wanted to do in your childhood through your daughter and let her have some say in what she wants to do. I have older boys and I saw so many fathers in my case push their boys to play certain sports because THEY wanted them too I will tell you it sets up a perfect situation for rebellion.

I will say it is unrealistic to say we are going to have a child do dance swimming and piano when there are SO many other things the CHILD could want to do/try. Dont limit her because you have made up your mind on what you want her to do.

[Corie]

I will say it is unrealistic to say we are going to have a child do dance swimming and piano when there are SO many other things the CHILD could want to do/try. Dont limit her because you have made up your mind on what you want her to do.


:yeahthat:

[scrooks]

It's great you and your DH had such a positive conversation! It sounds like you both are on the same page about things which is also great! I would say as long as your plan has some fleibility (Ie your DD wants to try soccer because everyone else is playing or wants to be a girl scout with her best friend) you should be good!

[niccig]

It's great you and your DH had such a positive conversation! It sounds like you both are on the same page about things which is also great! I would say as long as your plan has some fleibility (Ie your DD wants to try soccer because everyone else is playing or wants to be a girl scout with her best friend) you should be good!

:yeahthat: we want DS to have a sporting activity and a cultural activity. Sometimes at same time, sometimes not. He has been doing piano, but is talking about guitar. He might be too young for that, I will have to check around. He is very good at gymnastics, but wanted to stop. He might pick it up again or not. He has soccer again in the fall.

Swimming is non-negotiable in our house. He must be able to swim. and my definition of swimming is several laps of the pool.

[elliput]

As a mod, I need to post a reminder about the deleting and editing of posts-


Editing of Posts
Deleting posts or removing substantive portions of your messages after posting is disruptive to the flow of discussion and is not allowed. If you have a concern about a post you previously made, please contact a moderator privately for assistance. Abuse of the editing function may result in suspension.


I'm am sadden that you believed it necessary to not let more of the BBB users read your original post as, obviously from the title of your thread, you thought what you had to say was exciting and positive. So why delete the text when you received responses which apparently did not meet with your expectations?

Please take some time to consider this, and understand that we want our community to be a positive and useful place for everyone and the deleting/editing of posts in such a manner does not fit in with the purpose of these boards.

[JBaxter]

Thanks a lot.

I'm taking it that "thanks a lot" was done w/ some sarcasm. I'm sorry if you took my response so negatively but when you posted you and your husband had ( I think the way you put it since you did delete your original post) planned some goals for your daughter by the way of Dance ( you knew many adult women who still dance) swimming because everyone needs to swim and later piano. I have older children and have seen how some parents try to force ideas and activities on their children and it doesnt turn out well. I guess its positive that you and your husband are discussing your children but keep in mind even children have free will and we are to guide them and broaden their horizons not send them down a narrow channel WE create.
We all need to keep an open mind when raising our children. I never though my oldest son would ever go into nursing but its his passion now. It takes all kinds to make this world go round ;)

[sste]

Oh no, I think I missed all of this.

Haeged, don't be discouraged about what sounds like a nice talk with your DH. My husband and I sit down by the semester and figure out what DS is going to do - - we usually create a short list and then ask him what he prefers from that. Sometimes my plans are rather ambitious and need to be scaled back or change over time! I think we all have the instinctive urge to have our DC benefit from things we enjoyed and to also have them have opportunities we wish we had had. JBax I am sure is just trying to share her experience and I imagine with four boys you see some pretty alarming behavior on the sports extracurricular front that would sensitize one to this issue! And, apropos of nothing, I think nursing is an awesome career for anyone.

[scrooks]

Oh no, I think I missed all of this.

Haeged, don't be discouraged about what sounds like a nice talk with your DH. My husband and I sit down by the semester and figure out what DS is going to do - - we usually create a short list and then ask him what he prefers from that. Sometimes my plans are rather ambitious and need to be scaled back or change over time! I think we all have the instinctive urge to have our DC benefit from things we enjoyed and to also have them have opportunities we wish we had had. JBax I am sure is just trying to share her experience and I imagine with four boys you see some pretty alarming behavior on the sports extracurricular front that would sensitize one to this issue! And, apropos of nothing, I think nursing is an awesome career for anyone.

:yeahthat:

[ha98ed14]

As a mod, I need to post a reminder about the deleting and editing of posts-



I'm am sadden that you believed it necessary to not let more of the BBB users read your original post as, obviously from the title of your thread, you thought what you had to say was exciting and positive. So why delete the text when you received responses which apparently did not meet with your expectations?

Please take some time to consider this, and understand that we want our community to be a positive and useful place for everyone and the deleting/editing of posts in such a manner does not fit in with the purpose of these boards.

You're right. I disobeyed the rule and deleted what I wrote, but at the time it seemed better than replying with something snarky. I felt really ganged up on, and I didn't want anyone else to read my post because I did not want to be ganged up on by more people. Honestly, I was really hurt by the negative responses to what I felt was a great resolution to some tension that was going on at my house around what we were going to be able to do for DD given our limited income.

This was the gist of my OP. I posted it upon returning home from DD's dress rehearsal.

We just returned from DD's dress rehearsal for her recital, and it was such a wonderful program from the little ones to grown ups. It was the first time DH ever saw her do anything other than play around at home, and he was impressed. On the way home, we settled on giving her opportunities to pursue dance because there were people in their 20s and even 50s & 60s up there dancing. It truly is something that a person can do for a lifetime and enjoy, hence we decided to give her that opportunity. We also decided on swimming (basic life skill) and piano when she is older because that is really important to DH. (He & his family are musical.)

That was all I said, that DH and I had decided on what we were willing to invest in for DD for extra curricular activities, and it felt good to be on the same page. Some people reacted as though I was holding a gun to her head and intended to force her to do things she did not want to do. It really made me mad. I am also not of the mind set that I have to give in to every (potential) interest she has. First, I cannot afford it, and second, I don't want to be the parent of a child doing certain activities. I have no interest in her becoming involved with show jumping horses or travel soccer, so I don't intend to pay for activities that lead to that. Clearly some posters see it differently, that parents should be very open to following their children's lead. We don't. We feel that the activities we have chosen are things that DD can develop as a child and enjoy for her whole life. If she decides she really does not want to dance beyond age X, that's fine, but we are not going to take up show jumping instead.

DH and I came to a meeting of the minds, and I was happy about that. The reaction I got was a criticism for having made those decisions, and I felt it was undeserved. I chose to delete what I said for fear of more people agreeing with those I felt had attacked the decision I was happy about making. But now I reposted what I said almost to the letter. Nicci can vouch for that because I know she read it last night. (Sorry if I'm putting you on the spot, but I think you'll back me up.) I hope that puts me back in the good graces of the Mods because I'm doing my best to comply with the rules after having cooled off emotionally.

[amandabea]

My DH and I have a very similar outlook to our DD's activities while she is young. Who knows what will happen as she ages, but for now we agree on either dance or gymnastics and swimming. Maybe a some point an instrument or singing. We definitely don't want her (or us) to be over scheduled.

[bubbaray]

I did read your post last night and can say that what you've written today is pretty much what it said. I do think you've provided more background that explains the situation better. I didn't respond last night because my response would have been similar to the others above (ie., you can lead a horse to water, but can't make it drink).

I'm of two minds. I understand wanting to limit certain activities for $$ reasons. However, you've said "yes" to dance (VERY VERY expensive) and no to soccer (waaaay cheaper than dance). So, if $$ is the issue (perhaps there are other things), then you may want to reassess the dance (or put limits on 1 class or something).

Not trying to burst the dance bubble, but it is very very very expensive. Its more expensive than hockey, for example (which has historically been considered the most expensive child sport). I don't know of any children at our studio past grade 1 in school/age 7 who are only taking one class per week. They see the year-end recital, all the cool forms of dance, and want to add tap, jazz, lyrical, etc. Even if you just stick with ballet, after age 7 to 8 (depends on the studio), they are usually required to take a minimum of 2 classes a week.

I'm just using this as an example -- if $$ is an issue, you need to be prepared for the fact that what you can afford at time/age A might change as the child grows in the activity.

[Cam&Clay]

I did read your post last night and can say that what you've written today is pretty much what it said. I do think you've provided more background that explains the situation better. I didn't respond last night because my response would have been similar to the others above (ie., you can lead a horse to water, but can't make it drink).

I'm of two minds. I understand wanting to limit certain activities for $$ reasons. However, you've said "yes" to dance (VERY VERY expensive) and no to soccer (waaaay cheaper than dance). So, if $$ is the issue (perhaps there are other things), then you may want to reassess the dance (or put limits on 1 class or something).

Not trying to burst the dance bubble, but it is very very very expensive. Its more expensive than hockey, for example (which has historically been considered the most expensive child sport). I don't know of any children at our studio past grade 1 in school/age 7 who are only taking one class per week. They see the year-end recital, all the cool forms of dance, and want to add tap, jazz, lyrical, etc. Even if you just stick with ballet, after age 7 to 8 (depends on the studio), they are usually required to take a minimum of 2 classes a week.

I'm just using this as an example -- if $$ is an issue, you need to be prepared for the fact that what you can afford at time/age A might change as the child grows in the activity.

:yeahthat:

I think that is true of just about any sport/activity. The higher the level, the more it costs. We started out with the local house soccer league at $90 per season. That even included the uniform and socks. Now that DS1 plays at a high travel level, we have literally spent thousands of dollars this year alone.

Having said that, that is why we limit him to ONE activity. He mentions other sports once in a while. We tell him he is welcome to try but we will cannot handle the cost and time constraints of adding football or hockey or basketball to our agendas. It's not going to happen. He has to pick one. Soccer takes up 3 to 4 days a week.

We wanted him to try the piano. He didn't do well so I let him try trombone and violin at school. Let's just say music isn't his thing...

Anyway, I completely see where you are coming from, ha98ed14.

[ha98ed14]

I did read your post last night and can say that what you've written today is pretty much what it said. I do think you've provided more background that explains the situation better. I didn't respond last night because my response would have been similar to the others above (ie., you can lead a horse to water, but can't make it drink).

I'm of two minds. I understand wanting to limit certain activities for $$ reasons. However, you've said "yes" to dance (VERY VERY expensive) and no to soccer (waaaay cheaper than dance). So, if $$ is the issue (perhaps there are other things), then you may want to reassess the dance (or put limits on 1 class or something).

Not trying to burst the dance bubble, but it is very very very expensive. Its more expensive than hockey, for example (which has historically been considered the most expensive child sport). I don't know of any children at our studio past grade 1 in school/age 7 who are only taking one class per week. They see the year-end recital, all the cool forms of dance, and want to add tap, jazz, lyrical, etc. Even if you just stick with ballet, after age 7 to 8 (depends on the studio), they are usually required to take a minimum of 2 classes a week.

I'm just using this as an example -- if $$ is an issue, you need to be prepared for the fact that what you can afford at time/age A might change as the child grows in the activity.

Thank you for this insight. You have posted similar advice is many threads looking for dance advice. I appreciate your insights, but honestly that fact that you keep reposting this message in response to my questions about dance makes me feel very put down. From time spent on the boards, I know that your two girls are very involved with dance and that it's very expensive and that you live in a very high COL area and manage to afford these things in addition to swimming and skiing lessons. I am sure you (and everyone else who hang out here) knows that I am the wife of a teacher and we are living on one income right now. I've made it no secret that we don't have a lot of disposable income. But if I choose to put my daughter in dance and she takes one class/ week because that is what I can afford, that is my decision to make. I feel like you are putting down what I *will* be able to give my daughter, saying it is not good enough, with comments like "I've never heard of anyone taking only one dance class/ week." Well, so what? I'm sure the studio will happily take my money for that one class if that is what we choose to do. Just because I can't do five nights of classes/ week does not mean that my daughter show go participate in something else. I thank you for your input. I am aware of the costs you mention. I'd appreciate your refraining from making comments about the expense of dance when responding to my posts.

[scrooks]

Your report was pretty much the same as your previous post.

I actually did think it was great that you and your DH were talking about your DD's activities . I really did . That type of discussion hasn't happened here. I just hope there is a little wiggle room in your activity list. I'm sure your DD could have an interest you have yet to anticipate. Thats all. No ganging up. No judgement! I swear!

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Thank you for this insight. You have posted similar advice is many threads looking for dance advice. I appreciate your insights, but honestly that fact that you keep reposting this message in response to my questions about dance makes me feel very put down. From time spent on the boards, I know that your two girls are very involved with dance and that it's very expensive and that you live in a very high COL area and manage to afford these things in addition to swimming and skiing lessons. I am sure you (and everyone else who hang out here) knows that I am the wife of a teacher and we are living on one income right now. I've made it no secret that we don't have a lot of disposable income. But if I choose to put my daughter in dance and she takes one class/ week because that is what I can afford, that is my decision to make. I feel like you are putting down what I *will* be able to give my daughter, saying it is not good enough, with comments like "I've never heard of anyone taking only one dance class/ week." Well, so what? I'm sure the studio will happily take my money for that one class if that is what we choose to do. Just because I can't do five nights of classes/ week does not mean that my daughter show go participate in something else. I thank you for your input. I am aware of the costs you mention. I'd appreciate your refraining from making comments about the expense of dance when responding to my posts.


I just reread Melissa's post 2 times and do not see it as a put down of you in any way. She is just sharing her experience, IMHO.

[ha98ed14]

I just reread Melissa's post 2 times and do not see it as a put down of you in any way. She is just sharing her experience, IMHO.

Well, then perhaps I am overly sensitive. In compliance with the rules, I can't delete or edit significantly. I really tried to express myself respectfully. I'm going to take a break now. Today was my daughter's recital and I just want to enjoy the happy feelings that came from watching her perform.

[egoldber]

FWIW, my kids have always been perfectly happy to only do one dance class per session. They have never asked to do more. There are certainly girls who do more, but they don't and I would say based on what I have seen at 3 different casual schools, this is pretty typical for where we go to dance.

I do know of studios around here that encourage multiple dance classes and expect it at certain levels, but if my girls chose to do that, then it would mean (like Cam&Clay said) that would be their only activity.

So I do think it is very possible to be low key about dance. In fact, older DD did not even do dance for about 3 years and she re-started it again this summer.

[Melbel]

I took dance from elementary age to high school and thought it was a wonderful experience. The dance team in high school provided a great way to fit in. The poise, confidence and good posture all carried forward as an adult. I loved dance, and I am happy that DD1 (and probably DD2) will follow in my footsteps. [ETA: I also love that DD1 participates in an organized team sport (soccer or basketball depending on the season) because it has helped her in so many other ways. She plays on co-ed teams and has no fear when it comes to her male opponents. I love watching her kick butt on the soccer field just as much as I love watching her dance. As posted in the other thread, we have strived to seek a balance of 1 art and 1 sport per child at a time - sometimes easier said than done. Of course, it is up to you and your DH to decide what is best for your DD.]

I think your approach right now is perfectly reasonable and fine. As your DD grows, you can always reevaluate and adjust depending on your DD's interests, budget, talents, your goals and whatever other situations that come your way. As parents, we strive to make the best possible decisions for our DC and prioritize based upon the facts presented at the time. I find it hard to believe that the OP would force her DD to dance or play piano if she hated it. For now, it sounds like a great goal.

OP, I hope your were able to enjoy your DD's dance recital. The early dance days are such cherished memories for me.

[Corie]

Okay, here's my problem with you deleting your original post.
Your original post was shorter and did not give any details.
You basically said that you and your husband agreed that your
daughter was allowed to do swim, piano and dance classes while
growing up and that's that. Take it or leave it.

Jeana and I responded accordingly.

But, since you deleted your original post and then re-posted adding details with more explanation, now you've made Jeana & I out to be the
bad guys for "ganging up" on you.

Personally, I don't think that this is fair to us.

[dcmom2b3]

Well, then perhaps I am overly sensitive. In compliance with the rules, I can't delete or edit significantly. I really tried to express myself respectfully. I'm going to take a break now. Today was my daughter's recital and I just want to enjoy the happy feelings that came from watching her perform.


:hug: Mama. Would love to see pics of that beautiful girl at her recital . . . .

[sewarsh]

My 5 year old DD did dance when she was 3. it was so cute going to her rehearsal and i'll cherish that feeling forever. it was way more emotional than i ever imagined.

that said, my opinion about dance is that you spend SO much money for 9 months, then have to shell out more $ for costume, pictures, tickets for rehearsal, etc. etc. and all you get at the end is a 5 minute dance and some pictures. Personally i prefer to have an event to go to on a weekly basis so i signed DD up for other activities and as she gets older she can choose what she wants to do based on her personal experiences.

Now that's MY opinion and you aren't asking for my opinion. its great that you have decided to sign her up for dance in the future. i assume you and your DH clearly think its worth it and I assume that's because you see the progress your DD has made and you see how happy she is and how her confidence has been boosted.

I think you are taking some of these posts personally, honestly i do. be happy with your decisions and take everyone's advice/posts with a grain of salt. as long as your family is happy is all that matters.

[wellyes]

Avoiding the hurt feelings / controversy, I have a little feedback... Piano, swim and dance are all individual efforts to a large degree. We've had threads here in the past about the good social bonds and healthy body image that come from girls in team sports. Versus more individual stress and tendency towards eating /body image issues from non team competition. I know swim can be a team sport but I wasn't clear from you post if that is what you wanted. Competitive team swimming is obviously not a survival skill. Anyway, wanted to post that because the discussions were useful for me. I hope DD ends up interested in a team sport.



I think it's great that you and your DH have common goals, that is so healthy for your marriage. DH is in 'we're stressed out parents of little kids so just take it day to day' mode. I'd love to have a warm and hopeful chat with him about our wishes for our kids.

[plusbellelavie]

I too would love to see photos of your DDs recital!

I did read your original post and although I "got" that it was a positive discussion with your DH and the future activities. And I was happy for you both...it is a nice feeling to be on the same page with your loved ones!

I also have to say that Jeanna had her heart in the right place when she gave her advice and it was not meant to hurt you but just to give you advice from a parent who has older children. I think the point was to "in the future" be open to entertaining your DD's other interest outside the goals you have chosen for her at this point in her life. I am sure your DH and you will do that since you seem to be very aware parents. I am sorry you felt hurt but I don't think anyone meant for that to happen.

I also re-read Melissa's post and again I think she was trying to point something out to you "not rub it in your face" and frankly it has been my experience that any activity that your child(ren) are involved in cost a lot of $$ and some choose to spend more "resources" on it then others. And, it doesn't matter if they do it for one semester, a year, or several years....it will cost money/time/energy from everyone in the family.

DD was in in dance in France. She would have loved to continue but I had "issues" with certain things and didn't sign her up again. But, I did enjoy her recital and you reminded me of them thank you!

I hope today was a happy one with DH and DD! Again I would love to see photos/hear more about DD's recital...such a memorable time for all of you!

Best of luck!:hug:

[Green_Tea]

I don't think Corie or Melissa or Jeana said a single thing that can be construed as a put down. They are simply pointing out some of the pitfalls of deciding this early in your child's life (she's 4, right?) what extra-curriculars she'll be doing in the future. It's completely fine to decide, "Hey, she really likes dance! Let's sign her up again next year!" But making the decision when she's only four years old that she won't be allowed to pursue soccer or another sport, or clarinet instead of piano is setting yourself (and her!) up for a lot of potential struggles and heartache down the road. I think that the previous posters are simply encouraging you to keep an open mind and be receptive to some of the things she might develop an interest in.

For what it's worth, we insist that our children learn to swim, learn to play an instrument (their choice which one) and do something active (a sport, dance, skating, swimming - whatever they want, as long as we can afford it and schedule it in a way that works for our whole family.) We have expectations, but leave room within our expectations for them to make some choices and have some control.

[SnuggleBuggles]

There are lots of different ways to do things. I have had to learn that over time. You have a very little one and when you go back and read this in a few years you may feel differently and understand the other POVs on here. Those of us with older kids have seen some of our ideas just not work out. Dance? I danced and still take tap. But, I would have been just as happy playing soccer or something. My friend still plays in her 40s and it's totally recreational. Plus, people do dance into their 50s and 60s and many learn at those later ages. Most of the people in my tap class are senior citizens that started at those late ages just because they wanted to. Dancing as a kid was not necessary. Don't despair and don't force if it isn't her cup of tea.

On the dance note, Melissa's dance school is not the norm f studios here. I think hers sounds more serious and expensive than what I am used to. I can think of 1 school like that here but you can find many alternatives. I did take more than 1 class when I got to be in grade 4+ because they all looked like fun. I did have $$ costumes. Shoes, leotards, tights...they add up. I push swimming for my kids b/c it's the cheapest sport I can think of then maybe soccer. :)

Beth

[traciann]

My dh is a teacher, so I can appreciate where you are coming from. We have limited funds for extra things and to be honest my dd has not suffered because she isn't taking several activities after school. I don't think that the pp were being critical of your choices, just offering a different perspective. Jeana has older children, so she has already lived through the decisions you are now thinking about. I know now that I am past the baby stage, I have often reflected on why did I stress about strollers, sleeping through the night, etc. But hey, when I was in the middle of it those seemed like major decisions!
Dh is a band director and I hope, hope, hope that our girls will want to play musical instruments. I think they will, but if they don't our decision is that they have to be involved in SOMETHING! We both feel like being involved in an activity/sports keeps them busy and out of trouble.

[MomToOne]

Also I think it's important to keep in mind that the original poster does not "own" a thread and get to dictate what gets said and who should refrain from saying what, etc. A thread is a conversation for all of us to participate in - it may be led off by the OP but it does not exist solely for that person's benefit. Otherwise we might as well just PM each other.

I really appreciate when people with teenagers chime in. I feel like those parents can really add a lot of perspective - they seem to be the perfect distance from toddlerhood to have a realistic view of what's important without being so far removed to have it all seem rosy and nostalgic.

Getting mired down in arguing the particulars of whether one can afford one dance class or two 10 years from now is an exercise in futility IMO. My advice would be to take a step back and view the gist of the thread which seems to be: it's great that you and your husband are of the same mind and had a good conversation but keep in mind children are their own people and sometimes we make plans and the universe just laughs.

Good luck!

[Multimama]

OP, I think you make a good point that your DD can do one dance class a week and enjoy that and doesn't have to do multiple classes and get involved at a high level to benefit from taking dance. I would encourage you to take that perspective on other activities and sports she might want to pursue. You say, for example, that you won't pay for soccer because you don't want to be a mom of a DD on a traveling soccer team. I played soccer in elementary school and loved it. I didn't join varsity or anything and never traveled on a soccer team. Just as you recognize for dance, there are different levels of commitment to any activity. And I'm so glad I played soccer as a kid (just as example) because now I can teach my son how to dribble and kick and score goals and understand the rules of the game. I feel comfortable with a soccer ball. That is priceless. And my mom never had to travel out of town to give me that gift. :)

I am a planner too and I think it's nice to have a plan and be on the same page as your DH. But if in the future your DD ends up not wanting to dance, please keep an open mind about letting her do other activities even if there are limits to how far you would be willing to go with them. Just as you can still benefit from dance even if you only take one class per week, you can still benefit from playing a sport even if you don't play it into your teen years.

[Fairy]

Thank you for this insight. You have posted similar advice is many threads looking for dance advice. I appreciate your insights, but honestly that fact that you keep reposting this message in response to my questions about dance makes me feel very put down. From time spent on the boards, I know that your two girls are very involved with dance and that it's very expensive and that you live in a very high COL area and manage to afford these things in addition to swimming and skiing lessons. I am sure you (and everyone else who hang out here) knows that I am the wife of a teacher and we are living on one income right now. I've made it no secret that we don't have a lot of disposable income. But if I choose to put my daughter in dance and she takes one class/ week because that is what I can afford, that is my decision to make. I feel like you are putting down what I *will* be able to give my daughter, saying it is not good enough, with comments like "I've never heard of anyone taking only one dance class/ week." Well, so what? I'm sure the studio will happily take my money for that one class if that is what we choose to do. Just because I can't do five nights of classes/ week does not mean that my daughter show go participate in something else. I thank you for your input. I am aware of the costs you mention. I'd appreciate your refraining from making comments about the expense of dance when responding to my posts.

I'm honestly puzzled. Bubbaray's post seemed mild and helpful to me, and supportive WRT your re-post of the deletion. She was trying to help you. Do I think there are inequities in some of the rule-citing? Yeah. But lemme tell ya, you just jumped on someone who, from where I sit, was trying to be kind. I also have to say that while I've posting with some of you folks for years, I don't always remember everyone's details and who I've posted what to. Knowing me, I've given the same advice to the same person more than once now and again. For what it's worth.

[ha98ed14]

I'm honestly puzzled. Bubbaray's post seemed mild and helpful to me, and supportive WRT your re-post of the deletion. She was trying to help you. Do I think there are inequities in some of the rule-citing? Yeah. But lemme tell ya, you just jumped on someone who, from where I sit, was trying to be kind. I also have to say that while I've posting with some of you folks for years, I don't always remember everyone's details and who I've posted what to. Knowing me, I've given the same advice to the same person more than once now and again. For what it's worth.

Yes. I was having an overly sensitive, drama filled night. PMS. I have an inferiority complex. I'm sorry I posted any of it to start with. Please just let this thread die. If I could delete the whole thing, I would. Ugh.

[JBaxter]

My feelings exactly Corie. The rules about deleting posts are there for a reason. Op you didnt like the responses and got huffy and deleted it. This board isn't all hugs and butterflies. You will get some hard and fast opinions and suggestions from some of us who have btdt. If you dont want those .......well sorry but most of us try to follow they rules most of the time



Okay, here's my problem with you deleting your original post.
Your original post was shorter and did not give any details.
You basically said that you and your husband agreed that your
daughter was allowed to do swim, piano and dance classes while
growing up and that's that. Take it or leave it.

Jeana and I responded accordingly.

But, since you deleted your original post and then re-posted adding details with more explanation, now you've made Jeana & I out to be the
bad guys for "ganging up" on you.

Personally, I don't think that this is fair to us.

[ha98ed14]

Op you didnt like the responses and got huffy and deleted it.

Yes, I did.

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa... Can we move on now?

[Fairy]

Let's call this one done! mea cupla, too, I should have left it all alone.

Kumbaya?

:grouphug:

[ha98ed14]

My feelings exactly Corie. The rules about deleting posts are there for a reason. Op you didnt like the responses and got huffy and deleted it. This board isn't all hugs and butterflies. You will get some hard and fast opinions and suggestions from some of us who have btdt. If you dont want those .......well sorry but most of us try to follow they rules most of the time

Ok, You TOTALLY just added this part about "not all hugs and butterflies!" That was not there when I responded. Please follow the rules you were so diligent to point out to me.

[ha98ed14]

Let's call this one done! mea cupla, too, I should have left it all alone.

Kumbaya?

:grouphug:

Yes. Lets. Kumbaya. I'm done. Not. responding. anymore. I'm sure someone will report it. Hopefullly the mods will end it.

[elliput]

My feelings exactly Corie. The rules about deleting posts are there for a reason. Op you didnt like the responses and got huffy and deleted it. This board isn't all hugs and butterflies. You will get some hard and fast opinions and suggestions from some of us who have btdt. If you dont want those .......well sorry but most of us try to follow they rules most of the time


Ok, You TOTALLY just added this part about "not all hugs and butterflies!" That was not there when I responded. Please follow the rules you were so diligent to point out to me.

Again- Deleting and Editing-

Editing of Posts
Deleting posts or removing substantive portions of your messages after posting is disruptive to the flow of discussion and is not allowed. If you have a concern about a post you previously made, please contact a moderator privately for assistance. Abuse of the editing function may result in suspension.

Is there anything in this section about ADDING something to a post? Maybe you need to just step away from the keyboard for a while.

[ha98ed14]

Again- Deleting and Editing-


Is there anything in this section about ADDING something to a post? Maybe you need to just step away from the keyboard for a while.

Well, I thought it was a low blow. I'm sure Jeana feels vindicated. You're right. Time to step away.

[gatorsmom]

Ok, I know you guys wanted to let this die, but I have something to add. I came from a small town (55,000 people) and had a small, but serious dance studio here. I danced for 5 years and there was pressure as I progressed to take additional classes to round out my dance education. I decided not to continue when I went to high school but my friends who did continue were at the studio nearly every day taking classes and practicing routines. So what Bubbaray rings true with me.

On the other hand, I didnt take more than one class of ballet per week and yet it gave me enough experience dancing that I was chosen for the dance line in high school and can still quickly pick up new dance steps 25+ years later (I met DH in a country western bar and learned to do the 2-step and polka with only a few lessons so that he wouldn't step on my toes anymore. :D. ).

All this to say, if your DD one day decides she loves dancing and wants to pursue it further, it may get expensive. But even if she only continue taking one class per week, it's worth it, imho!

[nicepersonfl]

Pass the popcorn, it's another edition of BBBers ganging up on one another...

Better than reruns on tv...