UPDATE #15: Dentist quandary, wwyd? (long, need to decide today)

[crl]

UPDATE in POST 15

DS is very anxious and the dentist is the absolute worst place on earth for him. He had an appointment last Thursday to have two cavities filled.

He already has another appointment first thing tomorrow because he has three cavities total and the dentist wants to seal the fourth molar that doesn't have a cavity yet.

Despite meds things did not go well on Thursday and only one cavity got filled.

I have some ideas on making things a little better tomorrow. I called Friday morning and asked specifically to talk to the dentist and said that I wanted to talk to her about making things better for ds's appointment on Monday morning. She has not called back.

I have a number for her that is not the office number from when she called and left a message Thursday night to check on ds. I am guessing it is a cell or home phone.

Would you call her at that number today? It would be very hard to have a conversation with her in the office before the appointment due to ds's anxiety.

And my ideas to make things better are as follows: skip the meds altogether as they seemed to have no effect on ds at all and I think the nose gear to administer the laughing gas made him more anxious, skip the dental dam as ds said it made him feel like he couldn't breathe, and the dentist needs to stop flitting in and out of the room--when ds would get difficult she would give him break and disappear which just gave him more time to amp up.

Are these reasonable things to request?

Sorry this got so long, thanks for any input.
Catherine

[lalasmama]

They seem reasonable to me, however, just regarding the doctor coming and going, DD's pediatric dentist does that and DD has always been excited about the dentist (weird child, I know!). At any rate, he starts something, and then when his part is done, the hygentist finishes up while he's doing something or other to the kid in the next room. I believe they actually schedule it like this, since some things need some time to cure and such.

[mommy111]

Practically, I think most of your suggestions can be handled by the dentist the day of the appointment, since they all involve not doing things and just doing the filling in one go. However, if my dentist was not calling me back when I was taking my child the next day, I would just not show up and when they call me to ask why I didn't, say you just didn't get a call back from the dentist and didn't feel comfortable having your child treated whien they didn't take the time out to call. Passive aggressive, maybe, but when they lose a billable slot, they will learn to call back better.
In reality, though, I would jut call up earlier in the AM and tell them that you're not coming in unless dentist can return your call and talk to you prior to the appointment.

[crl]

They seem reasonable to me, however, just regarding the doctor coming and going, DD's pediatric dentist does that and DD has always been excited about the dentist (weird child, I know!). At any rate, he starts something, and then when his part is done, the hygentist finishes up while he's doing something or other to the kid in the next room. I believe they actually schedule it like this, since some things need some time to cure and such.

Yes, I think generally speaking they do schedule like that on purpose. But in practice it means the assistant makes ds open his mouth and puts in the prop that keeps his mouth open and puts on the dental dam and then goes out to tell the dentist they are ready. Then by the time the dentist finishes what she was doing and comes back in it is five minutes later and we have lost five minutes of the fifteen or so ds can stand all of this. It just seems like this doesn't work when you've got such an anxious kid in the chair.


Practically, I think most of your suggestions can be handled by the dentist the day of the appointment, since they all involve not doing things and just doing the filling in one go. However, if my dentist was not calling me back when I was taking my child the next day, I would just not show up and when they call me to ask why I didn't, say you just didn't get a call back from the dentist and didn't feel comfortable having your child treated whien they didn't take the time out to call. Passive aggressive, maybe, but when they lose a billable slot, they will learn to call back better.
In reality, though, I would jut call up earlier in the AM and tell them that you're not coming in unless dentist can return your call and talk to you prior to the appointment.

The appointment is at 8:30 am. I am honestly not sure they open any earlier. (Plus I have to keave my house by quarter to eight to get there so I will be driving and not able to talk.) Also whether or not ds is taking meds effects whether or not he can eat breakfast and whether or not there is a wait from the time we arrive until the time they begin working on his mouth. If we are scheduled for work to begin at 9am and we have to sit and wait for half an hour that just gives ds another half an hour to ramp up. Additionally talking about these things in front of ds makes him more anxious--uncertainty is problematic for him.

Oh, and they charge for broken appointments.

Catherine

[chlobo]

I would call the number you have. Or maybe call the office & say its urgent. You really don't want a bad experience after a bad experience. So I think its worth it to try and call. And the flitting in and out thing drives me absolutely nutty.

[ahisma]

Are they open on Fridays? Around here, dentists are not in the office on Fridays.

I'd call the number that you have.

[basil]

Don't call the number you have from call waiting. It's stalker-ish. If my patients do that, it sets off my crazy alarm like mad.

[crl]

Are they open on Fridays? Around here, dentists are not in the office on Fridays.

I'd call the number that you have.

The receptionist took my message and said the dentist would call me back during lunch. I didn't think much of it when she didn't as the doctor I once worked for often ended up working through lunch and usually returned phone calls in the evening. Since she had called me in the evening the day before I assumed she would just return my call in the evening. In retrospect, I should have called again on Friday.

Thanks everyone.

Catherine

[crl]

Don't call the number you have from call waiting. It's stalker-ish. If my patients do that, it sets off my crazy alarm like mad.

Well she did actually invite me to return her call on Thursday evening if ds was not doing well. By then he was asleep so I saw no need to bother her in the evening, presumably at home. At any rate, she actually gave me the number as well as my phone capturing it.

What would you suggest I do?

Catherine

[SnuggleBuggles]

Does bribery work at all? It works for my ds1 when the dentist is involved. :)

Beth

[crl]

Does bribery work at all? It works for my ds1 when the dentist is involved. :)

Beth

No. He is anxious beyond bribery. I have tried, more than once.

Catherine

ETA. Believe me if bribery would work I would never, ever have consented to meds in the first place.

[SnuggleBuggles]

No. He is anxious beyond bribery. I have tried, more than once.

Catherine

ETA. Believe me if bribery would work I would never, ever have consented to meds in the first place.

WHen you go to the dentist, do you go back with him? At our practice the kids go back alone and it has really helped. Our attempt at the family dentist with me there was a disaster. I know they don't do anything I wouldn;t approve of (strapping him down...) so I am comfortable with it. They have good skills at handling kids that don't want to be there (and how many do?). I kind of just send him back, grab a book and let them do whatever they need to do to get things done and don't worry. Is that an option?

[crl]

WHen you go to the dentist, do you go back with him? At our practice the kids go back alone and it has really helped. Our attempt at the family dentist with me there was a disaster. I know they don't do anything I wouldn;t approve of (strapping him down...) so I am comfortable with it. They have good skills at handling kids that don't want to be there (and how many do?). I kind of just send him back, grab a book and let them do whatever they need to do to get things done and don't worry. Is that an option?

I do go with him. They have never suggested otherwise. I do not think it would be possible to get him back there without me without using physical force. Not exaggerating. I really don't know how to convey how bad the dentist is for him. When he had cavities filled at age four we had him put under general anesthesia at the hospital. The dentist has never been able to get a full set of x-rays because he can't cooperate for that long. There have been times when I thought that if a person only saw him at the dentist they would wonder why he wasn't institutionalized.

And while I think they are probably able to deal with ordinary dislike of the dentist just fine, frankly I see them make all sorts of mistakes in how they deal with ds. I am loathe to do a blow by blow critique, either here or with them because I don't think it would serve any purpose, but I don't believe they would hurt him or strap him down, but I also don't really trust that they know how to deal with him, iykwim.

Catherine

[Tondi G]

I would go ahead and call the dentist on the number she left with you after the last appointment. Maybe just explain why you are calling and that you had left a message to please call you to discuss the appointment before hand (since you have an early appt. on Monday am) so you could try to make it as little anxiety provoking for your DS as possible. I would understand if I were the dentist.

Hope you have a better visit with him. I was so nervous with my 5 year old this year and his pulpectomy and he was amazing... closed his eyes and didn't even know there were shots involved. My 9 year old on the other hand, I guess has a high tolerance and the numbing meds weren't working... his drilling/filling hurt and the dentist gave him extra injections till he felt like he couldn't give him any more medication. Luckily he was almost done and was able to just power through the discomfort. He still says his dental filling is his least favorite experience in his entire life (worse than his broken arms). YIKES!

[crl]

UPDATE

I did not call the dentist as dh thought I should not. I did get talk with her beforehand and we upped his meds and they made sure he breathed in a good five minutes worth of nitrous oxide before starting. Dh went back with him. Things went much, much better this time.

Thank you all!
Catherine

[Octobermommy]

Glad to hear things went better! I think you did the correct thing by not calling. So glad it worked out. Hopefully y'all won't have the deal with this again for a while.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Very good update!

Beth

[elephantmeg]

yeah! glad it went well!!!!!!!!!!

[plusbellelavie]

yeah! glad it went well!!!!!!!!!!

:yeahthat:...way to go Mama for being on top of things!

[lalasmama]

Glad it went better than expected!

I always hate to admit sometimes DD needs/does better with her dad-figure with her instead of me!

[crl]

Glad it went better than expected!

I always hate to admit sometimes DD needs/does better with her dad-figure with her instead of me!

DS was so clingy to only me for so long that I am thrilled when he prefers or does better with anyone else! ;) I told dh he is doing the dentist from now on. He probably won't really though because of his work schedule.

Thanks everyone!

Catherine