Is there a tactful way to handle this situation without offending a friend?

[wencit]

One of my dear friends is about to have her third baby boy, and I want to get her a mommy necklace. A mom at DS1's former preschool has a home business and makes them herself. She actually volunteered to make them for free for the teachers as end-of-the-year class gifts. I just looked at her website to see how much a necklace would cost, and was surprised to see that she lists them for $90. So I went on Etsy and found a nearly identical necklace for about $50.

Now, the preschool mom who makes the necklaces is a friend, and we've had play dates at each others' houses, but she's not a BFF by any means. I'd like to give her my business, just because she's a friend, she's local, and she's a "known" factor (i.e. I've never dealt with that other seller on Etsy and don't know if I'll be pleased with her work, or how she represented the item, etc). However, I don't want to spend $90 for an item I can get for $50. Is there any way to offer to give her my business for $50 without offending her? Or should I just purchase the necklace through Etsy without letting her know?

Thanks for your thoughts!

[wellyes]

I'd buy the alternative without discussing it with her. Capitalism at work - if her prices are too high, she won't get business.

[bubbaray]

:yeahthat:

[momm]

I'd buy the alternative without discussing it with her. Capitalism at work - if her prices are too high, she won't get business.

:yeahthat:

[lhafer]

Are they made from the same materials? Or is one sterling silver, and one white gold? If they are the same material, I would go with the Etsy one.

[wencit]

Nope, same material!

[amldaley]

I'd buy the alternative without discussing it with her. Capitalism at work - if her prices are too high, she won't get business.

joining in the chorus....:yeahthat:

[trcy]

I'd buy the alternative without discussing it with her. Capitalism at work - if her prices are too high, she won't get business. Another :yeahthat:

[ett]

I'd buy the alternative without discussing it with her. Capitalism at work - if her prices are too high, she won't get business.

:yeahthat: If it was just a couple of dollars, that's one thing, but $40 is a big difference.

[dogmom]

I don't know how involved the piece is. I paid around that price for a mother's bracelet for myself and and my mother from someone I work with. She did a great job of lining up the beads, working with me to see if I liked it. I showed her ideas on webs sites and she explained to me what would or would not work. If it every breaks she will fix it. I know how much time she spent on it and I have to say it was more than 5 hours. Some of it might be the person on Etsy just puts a lower value on their time, but I would be suspicious if their price was much lower than all the other prices you saw for a similar item.

[KHF]

One other caution, if it happens to be a mommy necklace made out of stamped silver discs, make sure they are using the same gauge/thickness of metals. I thought I'd found a cheaper alternative for my necklaces and keychains, but it turned out the thickness was different. The stamps showed on the back of the thinner discs, so the more expensive ones looked better.

That said, all things equal, buy from Etsy! $40 is a lot!

[infocrazy]

One other caution, if it happens to be a mommy necklace made out of stamped silver discs, make sure they are using the same gauge/thickness of metals. I thought I'd found a cheaper alternative for my necklaces and keychains, but it turned out the thickness was different. The stamps showed on the back of the thinner discs, so the more expensive ones looked better.

That said, all things equal, buy from Etsy! $40 is a lot!

:yeahthat:

This happened to me too.

[AnnieW625]

I would bargain with her, maybe she'll give you a discount. I would ask her about her materials too. If you think that $90 is too much for a mommy necklace for a friend then also you really should be looking at getting her something else.

[Globetrotter]

$40 is a huge difference! If it was $10-15 I would go with the friend.

OR do what I would do and get something else altogether to avoid the issue :)

[wencit]

One other caution, if it happens to be a mommy necklace made out of stamped silver discs, make sure they are using the same gauge/thickness of metals. Thank you for this piece of advice! I did not think of that. Just sent the Etsy seller an email about it. And yes, it is one of those mommy necklaces with the stamped silver discs.


Some of it might be the person on Etsy just puts a lower value on their time, but I would be suspicious if their price was much lower than all the other prices you saw for a similar item. Good point! A quick Etsy search shows the prices more in line with $50, rather than $90, across multiple sellers.


If you think that $90 is too much for a mommy necklace for a friend then also you really should be looking at getting her something else. It is not a matter of me thinking $90 is too much for a mommy necklace. If I thought the item was worth $90, then I'd buy it without any hesitation. My question was more about the principle of the matter: is the $40 difference in what seems like identical items (assuming that they are) worth possibly insulting a friend over?