Big life changes generally, and have any lawyer moms changed professions?

[Minnifer]

Another thread about big life changes...

I've been practicing law for 15 years now and have mostly hated every minute of it :shake:. I do corporate work, first for BigLaw, then in-house for a variety of corporations. My current job is ok-ish in that the hours are reasonable and the people are not as awful as most of the other places I've worked, but I still really despise the actual practice and subject matter. There's no other practice area that appeals to me.

I'd love to do something else, but I really haven't got a clue as to what. I've never had a grand passion or desire to do anything in particular. Periodically over the years I've bought various career help books, including those "what to do with a law degree" books, but I've never found them particularly helpful.

I'm on maternity leave now and have asked my job for P/T (3 days a week) so I can spend more time w/the kids, but it looks like they are not open to this. I would love to SAH and I can swing it for a year or so while I figure stuff out, if I move out of NYC and closer to my family in PA (I'm a single mom so can't SAH permanently unfortunately). I would LOVE to get out of the NYC area anyway so am totally open to moving.

In my gut I really feel like now is the time to make a big jump/transition. I don't want to regret not seeing my kids when I practically had to move mountains to have them, and I don't want to do something I hate forever... life is too short. I would love to transition to something totally different, and to be able to do it part time but still make enough to support my family.

So, I'm curious to hear if there are other lawyer moms who have switched to something totally different, and if so what, and how they did it. I feel like everyone always says you can do anything w/a law degree but in reality it doesn't seem like it's so easy. I haven't been great at networking over the years so I'd really be starting from scratch (and not sure how to figure all of this out while taking care of the kids - it's not like I have a lot of spare time, lol).

And I guess I'm also just looking for general inspiration. I've been feeling SO stuck for SO long that I feel like this is slowing killing me... but I'm scared to take the leap...

[goldenpig]

I just wanted to give you a big hug. :hug: Single mom with two kids (including a newborn)--that is rough. I hope things work out for you...you are a strong mama.

I'm not a lawyer so I can't speak to any of those aspects. But I did at one point make a big career change. It was still within medicine, but I quit during the middle of my surgery residency and switched to internal medicine. It felt like a huge leap to me because I had never quit anything in my life, and I would have to start all over again and do another grueling internship. And I would be "wasting" five years of my surgery training (I still had 3 more to go). It was a really tough decision for me and I agonized over it, but in the end I had to go with my heart and I did it. So then I did 3 years of internal medicine and 3 more of specialty fellowship--in all that was 15 years of medical training. Whew! It worked out in the end though and I think it was worth it in terms of work/life balance. Plus I really love what I do now.

In your case, being a single mom and with this economy, a couple issues come to mind for me:
1) it would be great if you could move closer to family since you need all the help you can get being a single mom--I would totally look into moving to PA
2) on the other hand, I would be cautious about making quick changes without having a new plan in place. What happens if you quit your job and can't find another one for more than a year (which you said is your buffer)? I would hate for you to blow through your entire savings if you are the sole breadwinner. So I would look for another job first before quitting your old one. Can you job search during your maternity leave or on weekends?
3) you have to consider the timing of when you leave your old job. Look at your contract--I don't know, but I think sometimes if you quit during your maternity leave, you might have to pay back the health insurance premiums that they paid for you during that time or even the paid leave? It might be worth going back to work even for a few months to avoid lapse in health coverage or having to pay back money.
4) That said, sometimes you just have to follow your heart...if everything is telling you to go in a new direction, maybe it is just time. I hope it works out for you. Congrats on the new baby. Good luck and lots of hugs! :hug5:

[jenfromnj]

I'm in a somewhat similar situation, in that I'm a former BigLaw transactional associate (though I was on the CMBS/real estate side) who is really struggling with which direction to take my career at this point, with particular concern for DS.

I'll send you a PM!

[AbbysMom]

I'll be watching this thread closely. I feel the exact same way - lawyer but I don't really feel like I have any special skills to offer elsewhere to know where to jump into. I don't despise what I do because I like the research and writing and I like the flexibility. I really want to maintain flexibility throughout my kids school years. But I get so stressed and I do wonder if I'm doing what I should be! Anyway, sorry to hijack but your post is so well-timed for me.

[elektra]

At my old company (a SaaS start up), a group of guys from a law firm left their firm and help start up the company, representing the Marketing side of things. It was much easier to get business development and marketing partnerships started because they could negotiate and write up all the contracts themselves!
By the time I came on board, they all had titles like VP Marketing, Director Marketing, etc. My old boss loved being in Marketing after law, and he said it was so much more exciting and fun for him.

I am not a lawyer, just a Marketing personm but I still wanted to share. ;)

[niccig]

Not lawyer but law librarian. I've always hated the subject matter. I did librarian degree and planned to be a reference librarian at a university. When I graduated jobs were tough, and only one going was for an assistant law librarian. Guess what I ended up doing for 7 years. Then I moved to the USA and tried to get a librarian job and 6 months of applying the only interview I got was at a law library. Law can be a black hole that sucks you in!

I left when had DS and was a SAHM for 5 years. I ended up going to therapy to work out what job I wanted to do. I kept looking at jobs that would use my current skill set. The therapist encouraged me to spread my net wider, even though it would mean going back to school for some things.

I'm now back in school to be a SLP and loving it. It's going to take 4 years though. I don't know if that could be an option. Save as much as you can, move to PA, downsize some things, take out loans etc. I know all of that sounds like such a large undertaking, but if you dislike law like I did, I don't know if you'll be happy doing something related.

[Puddy73]

Law can be a black hole that sucks you in!

:yeahthat: When I went into law school I believed the hype that a law degree is versatile. Unfortunately, I have not found that to be true. I was a BigLaw associate for eleven years, primarily in the field of CMBS/real estate/secured transactions. After DD1 was born I was able to cut back my hours, but the huge cut in pay did not correspond with a similar cut in stress or responsibility. One month after I returned from maternity leave with DD2 I was let go, so I had to make some big decisions. I never really loved transactional work (a strange combination of mind-numbing boredom and extreme stress), and there were NO job prospects for a commercial finance attorney at the time.

I looked for jobs in other fields but found that I was not taken seriously no matter how carefully I crafted my cover letter to show that my skills were transferable. I may be off base, but I think they were afraid I would leave and go back to practicing law.

So, I switched over to the litigation side. Now I'm working part time on a contract basis for two other attorneys. I primarily write motions and briefs, so although I have deadlines, I can squeeze the actual work in any time of day from home. The work itself is almost fun compared to what I used to do: Constitutional issues are much more interesting than loan documents! The downsides: low pay, no benefits and no BigLaw perks.

I'm also trying to get into teaching, but it is a pretty competitive area right now. I did teach one MBA class in business law and loved it. However, the pay for adjunct professors is peanuts and there are no benefits.

I'm sorry this sounds so discouraging. I really am much happier in the field that I'm in now, even with the low pay. If you don't have a particular passion to do something else, you may want to consider doing something else within the legal field. PM me if you want any details.

[anonomom]

:yeahthat:
So, I switched over to the litigation side. Now I'm working part time on a contract basis for two other attorneys. I primarily write motions and briefs, so although I have deadlines, I can squeeze the actual work in any time of day from home. The work itself is almost fun compared to what I used to do: Constitutional issues are much more interesting than loan documents! The downsides: low pay, no benefits and no BigLaw perks.


Sorry to hijack, but this sounds like a dream job to me! I did trademark litigation for 4 years before I became a SAHM, and LOVED law. But I found biglaw way too unfriendly to parents. Do you mind me asking how you found your job? And you mention that the pay is low, but how bad is it? Does it at least cover childcare?

[August Mom]

I'm a former litigator and now SAHM. I haven't switched careers but know a few moms who have. Unfortunately, they are not the primary breadwinners in their families, so I'm not sure how practical these ideas would be for you. One friend of mine started working for LEXIS when she was staying at home with the kids. She did all of her work from home, mostly after the kids went to bed. She reviewed lots of cases, indexed them, identified key search terms, etc. She was fairly quickly promoted to being in charge of her group. She was offered some other promotions that would have required her to go into the LEXIS/Nexis offices but didn't accept those. Another friend went to Westlaw. She became a trainer and would go out into law offices to help associates with searches, etc. She loved this. She could basically set her own hours within the work day and be available for school drop-off and pick-up. She had to go away for periodic training seminars, but thought it was an ideal law-related career for a mom. Someone else I know is an adjunct professor. She really enjoys it, but I don't see how you could support a family doing it.

I do think that it's worth looking into Westlaw and LEXIS opportunities. There are all sorts of different positions within those companies.

Government work is another possibility. Those that I know that work for the AG like the hours and the benefits are good. You could also look at bar association positions. The stress is low and the hours are good.

Good luck!

[mytwosons]

I'm not a lawyer, but I decided to become a SAHM when my DS1 was about 9 months old. Looking back, I would not have made such a huge decision when I was still dealing with sleep deprevation and hormones. It really was shooting my self in the foot career-wise. I've spoken to other women who also didn't realize just how hard it would be to re-enter the workforce. Since you are a single mom, I would be even more hesitant to completely step out of the workforce.

I think it would be great if you could find a job closer to your family.

:hug:

[dcmom2b3]

I considered changing professions after leaving BigLaw (many years in general/antitrust/securities defense litigation), but I couldn't come up with what you're looking for -- a way to make the skills that I'd developed relevant to a totally non-legal setting. So, I applied for law school administrative positions (managing adjunct professors, recruiting administrator) and was well recieved, I think because I emphasized my administrative activities at the firm (recruiting committe, diversity committee) as well as my ability to keep a dozen balls in the air (which, BTW, I think only an audience with a legal background can truly appreciate). Alas, I was in the final running, but didn't get either job.

Like a PP, I urge you to check out positions with the bar or the Court of Appeals/Supreme Court in your jurisdiction. Through a bizarre series of circumstances I'm now working for the bar, in the office that prosecutes lawyers' ethics violations. My prior experience complements and expands our office's knowledge base, so I feel like I make a contribution. Work is fun (mostly because of my awesome colleagues), it's low-stress (I'm more stressy and driven than most in my office, and that's me on "low"), and I make enough to provide for our basic needs and many of our modest wants. I'm a single mom, too, and I can't imagine a better setup.

I likely will take on more responsibility (taking cases to trial as first chair) when DD is older, and may move back to private practice once DD is college-age or thereabouts.

ETA: Just remembered, two of my former colleagues transitioned to estate planning work (one got an LLM in tax, though that might not be necessary) simply because it was a less pressure-filled practice area, and suitable to their family lives. Could that be an alternative? I have no idea what credentials firms would look for, but would be happy to make a couple inquiries on your behalf . . . provided that it's not the work you're currently disenchanted with!

[khm]

I dodged the law school bullet, so I have no advice re: actually being a lawyer, but is it at all possible that the environment of small town law might be "enough" of an improvement to keep you in the field?

If not, I'd probably try and make your next law job be in an area or with a company that you'd hopefully have some possibility of movement out of law. Maybe into sales or marketing or high level executive?

I have a dear friend who is a lawyer, as is her husband. I understand how stuck you feel, because that's all they say about the situation too.

I'm in a state where lawyers are required for each and every real estate transaction. I'm sure it is NOT exciting work, but seems it would be lower stress at a minimum.