Should we do preschool yet? (Update in #15)

[PAfirsttimemom]

DS2 will turn 3 September 15. Our preschool follows our school district's age cutoff of September 1, but they will allow DS in since he only misses by a couple weeks. I'm guessing he will be one of the youngest in his class, if not THE youngest. Would you send your child in this situation? I know a lot of people favor not starting K early, but what about preschool? My biggest concern right now is that DS2 is not potty trained yet, and the school requires that. We are working on it. I think that socially he will probably be ready for a program like this a couple days a week (for only 2.5 hours a session). And he's excited about school when I talk about it. But part of me wonders whether I should keep him home with me for one more year, considering he might still have two more years to go to preschool given his age and birthdate. WWYD?

[SnuggleBuggles]

Go for it! Imo, preschool is fun. :) But, I would see if you can find a preschool that doesn't require potty training. It does vary by state but many don't require pt'ing and I personally prefer preschools that don't require it.

A pp said something that really clicked with me...when you send your little one off to preschool then you can get all the mundane chores done and errands run (faster and easier without a little one in tow!!) and then have more time for fun stuff when your dc gets home from school. :)

eta- ds2 made the cut off by 30 days but there was only 1 kid younger than him. It wasn't an issue.
Beth

[Indianamom2]

My daughter has a Sept. 15 birthday as well.

My thought process, for what it's worth was this: I knew she wasn't going to be ready for K until she was closer to 6, so I waited until she was almost 4 before doing preschool.

If you think your DS will be likely to start K at closer to 5, then I'd probably send him to preschool this year because he might need the time to prepare (and this is with the caveat that the preschool is PLAY-based). Otherwise, I'd wait.

From the perspective of seeing DD go through two years of preschool (age 4 for three days/week, 9-11:30 and then at age 5 for four days/week, same time, with occasional Wednesdays that went to 2:00), even with all that prep, all day K was a HUGE change and adjustment.

[sste]

I agree about the PTing. We were totally stressed out with PTing because of a rule like that and I regret that we let it affect our PTing experience.

My son was the youngest in his preschool class at his daycare (similarly ahead the school cutoff year) and it worked out fine in terms of social/developmental etc - - except the PTing. One thing to think about when starting early is when you will repeat a year of prek. So, in other words your son does PreK1 then moves up with his class to PreK2 and then ?! He is out of classrooms and too young for K. Not a dealbreaker but I would think about will you have him do Prek1 twice (possible issues with friends that move up without him) or will you switch schools.

[AnnieW625]

Preschool is lots of fun. If he isn't potty trained then he's not potty trained and honestly I wouldn't worry about it. If you know that the district isn't going to budge on the Sept. 15th birthday then I don't see any harm in not starting preschool until he is 4, but it really is fun so if he is PT'd then I say go for it:)

[caheinz]

My twins are almost a month after the cutoff. There's no way they'll get into K until they're nearly 6... and so, no 3yo preschool for them this fall.

But our local Y has a twice-a-week, 2h at a time preschool for 2.5 year olds. They don't even require potty training -- it's potty trained or pull-ups.

We figure that it's worth it to start getting them socialized with kids who aren't siblings for at least a few more hours a week...

[YouAreTheFocus]

I agree with the pp who mentioned the school cutoff issue. Ok, so the preschool is willing to waive, but what happens when he is about to turn 5, and all the other kids have already turned...could be that everyone else moves to K except your son. I had the option of putting my son (9/29/09) in a 2 yr old group this fall, and I declined for this very reason. This group was going to do the 2 yo room, then 2 yrs of preschool, then "graduate" out of the program--would have put us in a tough spot.

[Seitvonzu]

i think it's a huge "it depends".... like snugglebuggles, i view preschool more as a "get mundane chores" done time than anything else. ours that starts in fall is like yours-- 2.5 hours, 2 times a week. while they do have some teaching goals, i figure it's a time to be around other children in a structured environment and that's about it. i think my daughter would have been completely ready for this last year, but she is a december birthday and she is so past the deadline, that it wasn't an option , at two weeks to three? she would have been totally fine.

so it depends on your expectations and your child. (mine was a late-ish but FAST toilet trainer....) i would also think about kindergarten and if you are going to put him in early for that.... if so- i'd do the preschool,if not, do you want to do three years of preschool?

do you need the break? i honestly do. i don't have any family in the area and hate to bother my already stretched friends, so simple errands/doctors appts. are a huge scheduling issue with me.... i typically take my child and it's stressful for both of us (or my husband stays home from work using sick leave....for appts. NOT errands ;))

[Jo..]

I put my daughter in preschool last year. She had JUST turned 2. She did 3 days per week for 2.5 hours, and LOVED IT. She got mad at me on the days there were no school, and cried. "Mommy. I want to go to SCHOOL".

Preschool is just fun and playing with other kids. She will be going back this year. It's also nice to have a *few* hours of alone time per week.

[janine]

We have almost the same situation - our school's cutoff is Sept 30 and DD turns 3 Sept 29. She will be the youngest - and is not PT. I delayed registering until now as a result (plus #2 is due in Oct, so lots to juggle).

However I decided to enroll her for these reasons - first of all she is socially/intellectually ready - I have no doubt she will manage even if she might physically be the smallest. I am just not in favor of holding kids back unless there are delopmental reasons to do so.

For us, the Sept 30 cutoff is consistent with the public school system which I thought was the case with all preschools/towns? So there is no concern of her later being held back unless we decide to.

And lastly I talked with the director and she told me they'd ease on the PT requirement and that pull ups are ok if we are "working on it". So that kind of tipped it for me b/c she is not PT yet!
Let us know what you decide!

[JBaxter]

Jack is a 10/20 baby and he is doing the Pre-Primary Montessori program 3 mornings a week staring on Aug 22. He has been potty trained for a few months but it is not required in the pre-primary. They to actively encourage them to use the potty but don't requrie/force the issue. I know he ( and I ) will enjoy it. We had the 2 , 3 or 5 day option.

[Canna]

No - DD#2 misses the cut-off for her preschool by 18 days. She did not start early (nor would they have allowed it). I guess she most likely would have done fine, but I see now how much older, more mature and more grown-up she is now versus a year ago. They have cut-offs for reasons...and she'll still have two years of preschool before kindergarten, which seems like enough.

[lowrioh]

I think it depends on school. We sent DD1 to a Nursery School program which was 2 days a week for 3.5 hours last year and it was great. The program was completely play based and she loved it. We had the option of putting her into a 5 day a week structured preschool setting this year and decided against it. She just isn't ready for that sort of environment yet.

If you think that he is ready then send him. You can always pull him out if you don't think it is working for him. Or you could see if they would allow him to start mid year. The preschools that we looked at all allowed mid year enrollments as spots became available.

[PAfirsttimemom]

Thanks so much for all the replies. I was really bummed this morning, because I wanted to check in and read them, but the BBB was down for some reason (not sure if it was just my computer or a problem for all), and I had to make my final decision about preschool and take in my July and August payments today. (This school requires some payments before school even starts.)

So...I went for it. My gut was that DS2 will be ready for a program like this a couple days a week. He used to love taking DS1 to school and playing with the toys and the kids for the "free play" period during drop-off. He didn't want to have to leave. Also, just in the past couple days, he has shown great progress with the PTing. (The past two nights after dinner, he pooped in his Bjorn potty chair, got up and took a look at the doody and DH and I, and announced, "That's cool." LOL.) Plus, I did have a talk with the teacher about my PT concerns, and she said it is ok if he has to come in pullups in the very beginning. She also told me that they take three potty breaks in the 3-year-old class.

Finally, it's my understanding that our school district will allow students who miss the cutoff by a certain amount of time (I think 30 days?) to test into K early. I am not yet sure how I will feel about doing that, but if I get DS2 started on preschool now, it might be a possibility for him if he seems ready when the time comes. If not, he will do a third year of pre-K, but the teacher assured me that she customizes her curriculum for such students so that they are doing more challenging work and not just the same stuff they've already learned. I am a little concerned about the fact that DS2's friends will move on to K without him, but the teacher made the good point that even if he would go to K after two years, he might still only end up with one or two familiar kids in his class, since our district is very widespread (with three kindergartens), and many of the families who attend this popular preschool even live outside the district.

So there you have it. Hope it is the right decision. Thanks again for your thoughtful input!