Another FB question. WWYD?

[liz]

I very rarely use FB and I don't have a lot of "friends" which is how I like it - just my closest family and friends. I recently had a couple of people from HS contact me to be friends on FB. I don't really want to friend them because I really didn't care for them in HS, but I don't want to come across as being a b!tch and not friend them. One of these people works with me (although I rarely see her). Oh, and both of these people know each other, so if I friend one person, I would need to friend the other.

Dilemma- is there a way to severely limit them to my info while still adding them to my friends?

[wellyes]

I think there's a way, but - what harm will come of not friending them? I'm assuming they sent friend requests, but not a personal message.... some people just like to harvest as many "friends" as possible. It is not being a bitch to quietly ignore those requests.

[liz]

I think there's a way, but - what harm will come of not friending them? I'm assuming they sent friend requests, but not a personal message.... some people just like to harvest as many "friends" as possible. It is not being a bitch to quietly ignore those requests.

hmm, I guess I make 'friend' requests so rarely that it would be obvious to me if someone ignored me. Which is why these requests are stressing me :o

[wendmatt]

I know how you feel, that's why I don't like facebook. I wanted it to just be my family in UK and a few close friends but eveyone keeps asking to be friends and I originally just accepted everyone so now have this huge list of people I don't care about and am embarrassed to write any comments for everyone to see so now I don't really go on there, which defeats the whole purpose of having it in the first place. I'd stick to your guns and just ignore them, if they should ever ask you, you can just say you didn't see it/get the request. If you friend them, then all their friends know your business too, which is what I dont like. Sorry, rant over!

[Penny's Pappa]

If you wish to accept their Invite, you could put them into a custom Friends List and then restrict the types of information available to that list.

Rather than me trying to explain how to do this, refer to the following Facebook Help Pages:

How to Create Friends Lists:
https://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=200538509990389

How to Change List Privacy Settings:
https://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=124794780932930

HTH

[BayGirl2]

People use FB in different ways, so for some it makes sense to have a broader circle than others. If you are really not comfortable with it just ignore the invites. If they ask, simply say you don't use FB that much - which is true.

You can set your settings so only certain people see certain things. For example I specifically exclude my BFF's mom from my wall posts bc she has poor FB etiquette (she does not know this). You could put close F&F in a group and make them the only ones who see your wall postings. Be sure to review settings on a regular basis as FB has ben known to change policies and upgrade the interface.

FWIW - there are benefits to connecting w/people from the distant past on FB. Recently my HS class started a reunion page to get back in touch. Soon after a well-liked classmate passed away. We were able to organize a memorial tree, plaque and service in honor of several deceased classmates. I am 3000 miles away and could not attend, but I did find a lot of comfort in reconnecting with those classmates and contributing to remembering those who I was friends with. Would not have been possible w/o FB.

[JustMe]

What Penny's Papa suggested is probably what you are looking for, but just wanted to say that I was in a similar position and just told everyone the truth; for me that was that I joined facebook only to keep up with a terminally ill friend and did not want to use it more than that/for other purposes. I then joked with them that they could only be my "in real life friend", but not my facebook friend. I think that made it clear it was not a snub, and did not hurt feelings, although I did get some vehement (sp?) responses about why facebook is so great and I should use it more.

[geochick]

We (dh and I) have VERY limited friend lists too. Whenever we get a request we aren't interested in, we ignore them. Then when we bump into people whom we've ignored, we say, "I must have missed that. I'm not very good at Facebook, so if you need to get in touch, email is probably best."

I ignore all the time, and it hasn't been a problem.

[wellyes]

I've been ignored, and never asked why, but have been offered these explanations:
- Oh, I never check my email
- I made an account but never use it
- I only have family on my FB

I was totally fine with all those explanations (and not getting one, too). It would be a very petty person who got into a snit over your not friending them. It is OK to not friend everyone.

[mommylamb]

I have some people (work colleagues) on a list where they can't see my posts and certain info in my profile.

But, if I were you and didn't want random people friending me, I'd set my security settings so that no one could find me. That way, you can friend people if you want, but if someone goes looking for you, they won't find you at all and therefore won't even know you have a FB account.

Or just ignore them. If someone ignored me on FB, I would assume they don't check FB regularly. Then again, I don't friend people willy nilly, so the people I do friend are people who I would expect to accept me if they check FB.