How did you teach your 1 year old to fall asleep on his own?

[momm]

DS is almost one, and is taking *forever* to fall asleep these days.

He is used to nursing/ rocking to sleep, but even that takes 1+ hours most days and took 2.5 hours last night.

I searched some threads here on co-sleeping and sleep-training but didn't want to bump any threads that were too old.

Does anyone have any stories to share (success stories or just tips)?

ETA - wanted to clarify that the problem is the *falling* asleep part, not so much the remaining asleep part.

[daisymommy]

My kids didn't learn how to fall asleep on their own before the age of 1. I'm sorry!

I rocked and nursed, then laid them down drowsy, and tip-toed out. I always had a lullabye CD or white noise machine going. But basically they were already asleep or their eyes were nodding off.

I still rock my 18 month old for 5 minutes of snuggles, lay him down awake, and pat his back, sing to him, and then walk out. But it's been a gradual progression of maturity to get to this point where he doesn't cry and is able to fall asleep by himself. Probably right around the age of 1 it started getting easier.

[wendibird22]

I think some of it is temperament. With DD1 I can recall going through a phase of lots of rocking and pacing the hallway to get her drowsy enough to put down in the crib. She too was nursed to sleep but I can recall around the 1yr mark that she'd nurse for 5mins, be done, but no where near ready to be put in the crib. I don't think it was until she was weaned (Jay Gordon method of weaning/STTN) that we reached a point of just putting her in the crib, singing a song or two and walking out.

Now, DD2 is a totally different kid. She too was/is nursed, although no longer nursed to bed. DH or I simply turn off the light, turn on her sound machine, put her in the crib, and walk out. The key for her is that her door has to be closed all the way. Leave it open even a crack and she calls for us. I can't say that we honestly did anything different this time around...she's just different and we've followed her cues. DH and I even comment how much easier she is to put to bed.

[weech]

I agree that a lot of it is temperament. Since DS was maybe 6 months old, we've just put him in his jammies, given him a bottle or cup for a couple minutes, stuck him in his crib and left. Sometimes he actually asks to go to bed. He gets mad if I try to rock him. :shrug:

[ahrimie]

I did the CIO method but started much earlier than 1 yr. I would practice laying them down awake, use a key word like 'night night', and walk out. You can walk back in 5 min later or whatever you're comfortable with. Also, establish a solid bedtime routine and don't go to bed too late. Doing so makes it much harder for them to fall asleep--that might be your key problem right now. Black out shades are a MUST. Sleep/noise machine helpful :)

[BabbyO]

I did the CIO method but started much earlier than 1 yr. I would practice laying them down awake, use a key word like 'night night', and walk out. You can walk back in 5 min later or whatever you're comfortable with. Also, establish a solid bedtime routine and don't go to bed too late. Doing so makes it much harder for them to fall asleep--that might be your key problem right now. Black out shades are a MUST. Sleep/noise machine helpful :)

This is basically what we did with DS...though he often didn't cry...just "talked" to himself in his bed for up to an hour. He still does this...I don't really mind. IF he does cry...he's usually asleep within 15 min. In 2 yrs I can count the times he's cried longer on one hand.

Ironically we're going through this again since moving to a toddler bed...

I think we started around the 1 yr mark, too. Until then he often nursed to sleep. A regular routine IS definitely key...and going to bed too late or when over tired DOES make it much more challenging.

We don't have black out shades but between the blinds & curtains his room get pretty dark...and we have recently employed a sound machine (when he was younger we used a music projector....but we think it doesn't play long enough now to work).

[Katigre]

DS is almost one, and is taking *forever* to fall asleep these days.

He is used to nursing/ rocking to sleep, but even that takes 1+ hours most days and took 2.5 hours last night.

I searched some threads here on co-sleeping and sleep-training but didn't want to bump any threads that were too old.

Does anyone have any stories to share (success stories or just tips)?

ETA - wanted to clarify that the problem is the *falling* asleep part, not so much the remaining asleep part.
1. When nursing ceases to be a quick and easy fall asleep tool, then I drop it from the bedtime routine (I nurse my babies to sleep until sometime into early toddlerhood)

2. When I drop nursing, I generally cuddle them to sleep instead with cosleeping. If they're fighting sleep I will help them stay laying down with my arms - it's ok if they cry for a few minutes about it.

3. If they are not settling to sleep with that, then I would focus on transitioning them to a crib to fall asleep and do the gradual step down of your presence.

[kerridean]

Three words: Cry It Out. It is the only thing that worked for both of our girls. They are not psychologically damaged:) and are WONDERFUL independent sleepers.

[hoodlims]

I also did CIO. Kids are going to cry, no matter what. I would rather my kid cry for a couple of days and sleep well at night (and I sleep well too) then have my kid not cry at all. Now she only cries if there is something wrong - so much easier than to have to wonder why she is crying! We stick to a routine and also use black out shades.

Lately she has been funny...you try to put her to sleep by holding her and reading with her or whatever and suddenly she goes, "Night night! Bye bye!" and you'd better leave ASAP!

[BabyH]

Three words: Cry It Out. It is the only thing that worked for both of our girls. They are not psychologically damaged:) and are WONDERFUL independent sleepers.

I agree, but I know I wasn't ready to do CIO right away..... but we did just have to do this a few weeks ago as a "refresher" course for DS. The longest he cried was 28 minutes the first night re-training, and a lot of those minutes were just him whining...

However, I HIGHLY recommend the book The SleepEasy Solution. Basically it's an "easier" (on the parent, at least) CIO program.... but the book is a very quick read (WAY easier and shorter than Ferber's book) and it's written by women, so there's just a sweet tone throughout the whole thing. And it's broken up into perfect sections. It's a good one to try before you go all CIO-out. Good luck :)

[Kira's Mommy]

For us it was a combination of things and we're still not totally *there*. I nursed DD to sleep until 16 mo. At 16 mo the combination of things were:

- gradual weaning... not for the sleep training purposes, of course. I got pregnant and it just HAD to be done in my situation.
- hot weather outside and bad AC system in our house - I would put her in her crib instead of holding her and holding her and I think she just felt more comfortable (i.e. cooler) in the crib. I would be sitting in a glider next to the crib, singing. At first she'd get up like 50 times and I would gently lie her down. If she got really upset, I would pick her up and calm her down.
- a well established bedtime routine
- a bunny toy that she really loves
- just growing up

Now I read to her, put her down in her crib fully awake, turn the light off and sit in a rocking chair signing for 5-10 min max. By that time she's usually asleep. If I leave the room when she's not asleep she screams bloody murder. She does not wine, does not complain, she screams in such fear that it makes me nauseous. That's why I never used CIO. I can understand how it may work for other babies though. My good friend did it with her baby at 5mo. He just "complained" for 30 minutes and slept beautifully ever since. It really depends on your DC's personality, I think.

[hoodlims]

I think CIO is easier on the kid when done earlier, before they are mobile. MUCH harder on the parent (my daughter screamed bloody murder for 45 minutes two nights straight, had to leave the house and let DH deal), but at least your kid isn't able to physically hurt themselves.

I do think that if you are done and sick of a 2 hour bedtime routine, it is better to stop sooner than later, however you go about doing it. They only get smarter and smarter.

[momm]

Thank you all for your inputs. I guess as everyone said, I do need to figure out what will work for my own DS, but I wanted to know what everyone did/ get some tips and ideas that I may not have thought of.

Thanks everyone for sharing so detailed!