TwinMama2B
08-30-2011, 04:15 PM
I’m hoping that someone has experienced something similar to this and can share advice, as we are really struggling with this. Both our DDs have been fantastic sleepers since about 10 ½ weeks. Both have always been self-soothers, that you could put down awake, say “night-night” to and then leave the room and they get themselves to sleep. We have a solid bedtime routine that they know and enjoy and have never had to rock or cuddle anyone to get them down.
Very abruptly about 4 months ago (around 20 months old) one of our DDs developed what our ped is calling separation anxiety, completely out of the blue. It started with a very clear fear of bedtime and of being left alone. We tried CIO, and after hours of crying/screaming and hysterics to the point of vomiting we abandoned that idea and sought advice from our ped. She suggested we stay in the room until DD falls asleep, sneak out and then if she wakes up during the night, go in immediately, don’t pick her up, get her back to sleep by rubbing her back, etc and again sneak out once she’s asleep. Many nights it takes multiple attempts to get her back to sleep and often one of us sleeping on their bedroom floor to get DD to settle down after a mid-night wake up. If she wakes up and we’re not there it’s full-on hysterics immediately and she can no longer settle herself down again. She’s also now waking up for the day anywhere from 1 to 1 ½ hours earlier than previously so more often than not we bring her into our bed while we get more rest and she usually falls asleep for awhile longer or occupies herself with a doll or book. Same exact issue/process with naps at home, but NO issue with naps at daycare (possibly b/c there’s always a teacher in the room?)
Fast forward a few months… DH is now traveling 3-4 days a week, I’m a FT+ WOH mama, and in my overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, patience-waning state, rather than battling it out with DD over and over again in the middle of the night, I’ve often given in and taken her to bed with me just so I can get through the day in a half-functioning manner. DH and I know we have fostered this bad habit, and while we talk with her every day about sleeping in her own bed all night, our smart little DD is effectively playing our weakness when we just can’t take the screaming or up-all-night routine any longer. The girls are in the same room and we feel so badly for our other DD who is woken by this process nearly every single night. She doesn't get upset by it all though, and will sit quietly in the morning and play in her crib until we come get her up, completely opposite of her sister. At their recent 2 year check-up our ped now suggests to let her CIO, but that still results in hours of crying/screaming and hysterics to the point of vomiting, every single night.
So, overarching question of how do we break this habit of getting into bed with us and teach her to (1) get herself to sleep once again self-soothe, and (2) stay in bed longer in the morning until it’s time to get up? Has anyone else BTDT with this type of situation? Many thanks in advance for any advice/suggestions!!!
Very abruptly about 4 months ago (around 20 months old) one of our DDs developed what our ped is calling separation anxiety, completely out of the blue. It started with a very clear fear of bedtime and of being left alone. We tried CIO, and after hours of crying/screaming and hysterics to the point of vomiting we abandoned that idea and sought advice from our ped. She suggested we stay in the room until DD falls asleep, sneak out and then if she wakes up during the night, go in immediately, don’t pick her up, get her back to sleep by rubbing her back, etc and again sneak out once she’s asleep. Many nights it takes multiple attempts to get her back to sleep and often one of us sleeping on their bedroom floor to get DD to settle down after a mid-night wake up. If she wakes up and we’re not there it’s full-on hysterics immediately and she can no longer settle herself down again. She’s also now waking up for the day anywhere from 1 to 1 ½ hours earlier than previously so more often than not we bring her into our bed while we get more rest and she usually falls asleep for awhile longer or occupies herself with a doll or book. Same exact issue/process with naps at home, but NO issue with naps at daycare (possibly b/c there’s always a teacher in the room?)
Fast forward a few months… DH is now traveling 3-4 days a week, I’m a FT+ WOH mama, and in my overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, patience-waning state, rather than battling it out with DD over and over again in the middle of the night, I’ve often given in and taken her to bed with me just so I can get through the day in a half-functioning manner. DH and I know we have fostered this bad habit, and while we talk with her every day about sleeping in her own bed all night, our smart little DD is effectively playing our weakness when we just can’t take the screaming or up-all-night routine any longer. The girls are in the same room and we feel so badly for our other DD who is woken by this process nearly every single night. She doesn't get upset by it all though, and will sit quietly in the morning and play in her crib until we come get her up, completely opposite of her sister. At their recent 2 year check-up our ped now suggests to let her CIO, but that still results in hours of crying/screaming and hysterics to the point of vomiting, every single night.
So, overarching question of how do we break this habit of getting into bed with us and teach her to (1) get herself to sleep once again self-soothe, and (2) stay in bed longer in the morning until it’s time to get up? Has anyone else BTDT with this type of situation? Many thanks in advance for any advice/suggestions!!!