Long time SAHMS who went back/plan to go back to work: please weigh in

[maestramommy]

I am thinking and planning for how to go back to work once the kids are in school for a full day. Dh and I have talked about it at some length, but right now it's all hypothetical. Laurel will not be in 1st grade for 4 more years, so by that time I will have been out of the workforce for 10 years. Yikes.

My teaching credential expired in 05. At the time I had plenty of credits and work hours to renew it. But I was advised by the state credentialing office not to renew until I was about ready to go back to work, because they expire every 5 years, and if I was still a SAHM when it expired I wouldn't have any credits to renew it again. Added to which, we are now living in another state. So I have a couple of choices:

1) Renew the credential in CA, if that still possible, then get it transferred to NH, fulfilling whatever requirements along the way.

2) If that isn't doable or practical, get a credential in NH, which I guess essentially is starting over.

3) Try to get a job teaching in private school. I should mention that orchestra is almost non-existent here in the public schools. A FEW districts have it. I saw the Youtube videos for one spring performance for a highly rated district. Their HS marching band is award winning. Their orchestra program, wasn't. To put it mildly :(. However, it is entirely possible that orchestra is more common in private schools.

4) Try to get a related job, like being a pianist for a choral program somewhere.

5) Starting thinking and training for another field.

The thing is, I'm starting to feel like I need to be at home when the kids get home. Right now the only job I know of that allows that is the paraprofessionals in the school district. But they get paid slave wages and the work can be very mentally and emotional draining. One of my church friends is a parapro at the HS and she is a one on one aide for severely autistic students. I just don't know if I can do that. She was a lawyer before kids, then became a SAHM for maybe 3 years, then went back to work, presumably doing what she does now. I think the main reason she does it is because of the schedule (she has 3 DDs, grades 7-10).

The only things I'm sure of are that I don't mind being part time, and I don't want to continue to SAHM after my kids are in school full time. So I want to use the time I have left to plan constructively, and get some career guidance. I'm not even sure who to turn to for that.

[twowhat?]

Do you play an instrument(s)? Have you considered teaching private lessons? I remember taking piano lessons out of the teacher's home and she did it as a business.

[maestramommy]

Do you play an instrument(s)? Have you considered teaching private lessons? I remember taking piano lessons out of the teacher's home and she did it as a business.

Yes, I play piano; it's my primary instrument. But I taught private piano before I became an orchestra teacher. But TBH I really didn't like it at all. It's a big reason why I went into classroom teaching.

[ThreeofUs]

Honestly, I'd start activating my network (it's what I'm doing right now) and get their advice on what to do.

If your license expired, I'd take the quickest and easiest way to get it back. You'll get paid more, right?

[niccig]

I was the same as you and started to think about what I wanted to do as DS got closer to school age.

I started with thinking about my old career or related fields. I explored a few options, posted here asking questions, did some informational interviews. Applied for a few jobs. Nothing really sat well with me. A friend, actually the one I've vented about here (:bag as she has given good advice) asked me why I wasn't looking outside of the box? Was there anything that was non-related to my previous job that I was interested in?

I started to think more broadly, and I also started to see a therapist about family issues, but I did discuss what I wanted for my life and for my work. I came up with a list of characteristics I wanted from a job. Childcare was an issue, but she had me put it aside for the moment. It was difficult for me to do, as I've never been good at self-reflection and to be honest, I was pushed in my career path by my parents when I went to college. I never choose it because I enjoyed it.

I ended up with: need to enjoy the subject area, need to find it challenging, need to be helping, work with people not alone, not have to work crazy hours or bring work home all the time, if retrain needs to not be too costly (have DS's college to save for too). DH and my MIL all mentioned how much I enjoyed my Human Osteology (study of human bones) and was more into the medical than the archaeology of that subject (I was volunteering with an archaeologist doing research). I started to look at health field careers. I enjoyed the speech therapy I did after my thyroid surgery and DH reminded me I wrote a note to him (couldn't talk) about how it was a bummer I had this injury as could see myself as a SLP. Our pet sitter had just graduated from her MS to be a SLP and she told me to go talk to an adviser.

I've now down a complete left turn. From law librarian to hopefully speech therapist in 3 more years. I'm loving my classes. There is an option for me to work in schools, and that schedule would help with DS. But I may not do that. I do have to factor in picking DS up from school as DH can not do it. He can though do drop off, so maybe a position at a hospital or clinic with earlier hours? I can also do EI and drive to people's homes. DS's school offers after care and he's there when I have late classes. If I do work later ours, we'll make it work and I will probably limit myself to certain radius around his school or maybe I won't work full-time so some days I can pick him up. As for DS's activities, well he can't do certain things now because of my classes, and you know what, I think that's OK for him to realise that Mum has things to do as well. His aftercare and school also have some ongoing after school activities that we can do. If we still really wanted him to do something, we would find a way - babysitter, carpool etc.

Ok...so that was LONG. But really, this is an opportunity to rethink who you are and what you want to do. I'm not the same person I was at 20, and my old career just didn't work for me...actually, it never did. It's kind of scary to think about all the options you could do, but it's exciting too.

[maestramommy]

I was the same as you and started to think about what I wanted to do as DS got closer to school age.

I started with thinking about my old career or related fields. I explored a few options, posted here asking questions, did some informational interviews. Applied for a few jobs. Nothing really sat well with me. A friend, actually the one I've vented about here (:bag as she has given good advice) asked me why I wasn't looking outside of the box? Was there anything that was non-related to my previous job that I was interested in?

I started to think more broadly, and I also started to see a therapist about family issues, but I did discuss what I wanted for my life and for my work. I came up with a list of characteristics I wanted from a job. Childcare was an issue, but she had me put it aside for the moment. It was difficult for me to do, as I've never been good at self-reflection and to be honest, I was pushed in my career path by my parents when I went to college. I never choose it because I enjoyed it.

I ended up with: need to enjoy the subject area, need to find it challenging, need to be helping, work with people not alone, if retrain needs to not be too costly (have DS's college to save for too). DH and my MIL all mentioned how much I enjoyed my Human Osteology (study of human bones) and was more into the medical than the archaeology of that subject. I started to look at health field careers. I enjoyed the speech therapy I did after my thyroid surgery and DH reminded me I wrote a note to him (couldn't talk) about how it was a bummer I had this injury as could see myself as a SLP. Our pet sitter had just graduated from her MS to be a SLP and she told me to go talk to an adviser.

I've now down a complete left turn. From law librarian to hopefully speech therapist in 3 more years. I'm loving my classes. There is an option for me to work in schools, and that schedule would help with DS. But I may not do that. I do have to factor in picking DS up from school as DH can not do it. He can though do drop off, so maybe a position at a hospital or clinic with earlier hours? I can also do EI and drive to people's homes. DS's school offers after care and he's there when I have late classes. If I do work later ours, we'll make it work and I will probably limit myself to certain radius around his school.

Ok...so that was LONG. But really, this is an opportunity to rethink who you are and what you want to do. I'm not the same person I was at 20, and my old career just didn't work for me...actually, it never did.

Thanks Nicci, I really appreciate your response! Actually I consider myself extremely lucky that I love teaching because I ended up in music completely by default. It's what I grew up doing, pushed by my parents. By the time I got to college I wasn't really trained for anything else. I still love teaching, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't love anything else. My interests were pretty broad before I got to college. So I am open to thinking about other things. The trouble is, like you, I don't want to spend $$$ on training for something that doesn't have much of a job market, or is going to be super rigid in terms of work hours. Sigh.

[niccig]

The trouble is, like you, I don't want to spend $$$ on training for something that doesn't have much of a job market, or is going to be super rigid in terms of work hours.

I did a cost benefit analysis. How much will it cost and how much will I earn. Luckily my program is at one of the Cal State's so it is cheaper than a UC program. Tuition is increasing every semester though.

Some of it is a gamble, will the jobs still be there when I'm done? I hope so. DH told me it was worth the risk, as the other options are to a) do nothing or b) go back to what I didn't like anymore.

My old job approached me for full time work just after I decided to go back to school. I was considering it as turning down what would be the best deal hours wise I could ever get as a librarian. DH flat out told me no, he said we'll have x amount every year and you'll be miserable and in 20 years still miserable. Rather than 3-4 years no income, college tuition, but I'll be happy and make at least the same if not more for next 16-17 years (if not longer).

So you have to figure out the costs but also the satisfaction level.

[Globetrotter]

If you want to be home when the kids are home (which would be ideal for me, too), you should seriously consider a school-related job.

Niccig is on the right track. I have a friend who is a SLP for the schools, and it is very family friendly. Since you love teaching, it makes sense. Even substitute teaching is an option, though I'm not sure how much you would make.. or you could work for a private school. As budgets are being slashed, music and art seem to be the first to go in public schools :(

OR go to a career counselor, read books, etc.. to find an alternate career!

[zag95]

I would contact the licensing division in NH to see what it would take to get your license active. Are you planning on staying there a while??? It may not take as long as you think. Another route might be to get a Masters (1 yr program, with licensing)

There should be several options available for you. Also consider online programs.

In terms of your background, I'd do the following:

music lessons (you could limit the number you do)
you could volunteer a few hrs (if you have the time) to see to reintegrate into the working world)
playing at a church (senior center)
teaching music through a park and rec program (if there is one in your area)
teaching in other areas (are you an elementary person? Secondary? Might be good to broaden your teaching possibilities)

GL!!

[maestramommy]

If you want to be home when the kids are home (which would be ideal for me, too), you should seriously consider a school-related job.

Niccig is on the right track. I have a friend who is a SLP for the schools, and it is very family friendly. Since you love teaching, it makes sense. Even substitute teaching is an option, though I'm not sure how much you would make.. or you could work for a private school. As budgets are being slashed, music and art seem to be the first to go in public schools :(

OR go to a career counselor, read books, etc.. to find an alternate career!

Maybe I should clarify and say I wouldn't mind working a full day IF it was only a couple of days a week.

[Globetrotter]

Have you considered teaching something like Music Together? There are various programs targeted to the toddler/preschool crowd. You can do it on your own time as it's your independent business.

[maestramommy]

Have you considered teaching something like Music Together? There are various programs targeted to the toddler/preschool crowd. You can do it on your own time as it's your independent business.

I have, and it's not something I want to do. My strength was working with older kids. It's also not a very good fit for my personality. My affect and level of dynamicism (is that a word?) isn't really geared for the 0-5 set, unless I take acting lessons. That's something that hasn't really changed even after all this time of sahming. Which could explain a lot :tongue5:

[eh613c]

What about working for a community college teaching music? I'm sure you can limit your classes in the morning and have 1 in the afternoon.

[maestramommy]

What about working for a community college teaching music? I'm sure you can limit your classes in the morning and have 1 in the afternoon.


Hmmm! I suppose that is a possibility, though I would have to look into it further. I don't even know what community colleges are around here:tongue5: The only one I know of is a solid 30 minute (at least) commute from here.

[Globetrotter]

I can understand that! Did you LOOOVE what you used to do? If so, you could network with former colleagues and do volunteer work/small jobs related to music (pp listed good ideas). That way at least you will have something music-related on your resume when the time comes.

I have no idea about the certification, though.

It sounds like music wasn't necessarily your passion, so this is a good time to figure out your skills and interests and consider something else. Since you do love the teaching part, you could try getting certified in other areas or become a trainer of some sort. Ex: my friend is a biologist and now teaches biology at the community college level. Those classes are held during the day so it works out.

[maestramommy]

I can understand that! Did you LOOOVE what you used to do? If so, you could network with former colleagues and do volunteer work/small jobs related to music (pp listed good ideas). That way at least you will have something music-related on your resume when the time comes.

I did in fact, LOOOOOVE what I used to do. BUT (and this is a very big BUT), the job was pretty exceptional, almost unique. I was able to combine a number of strong interests, had a very supportive admin, able to be very creative when necessary, and what felt to me like an unlimited budget. How often does THAT happen in music ed??

[egoldber]

My situation was different because DH was laid off and we needed money and health insurance ASAP. So I could not really look around at what options might be available part time or after additional schooling.

Even with school age children it is hard to find a part time job that pays enough to cover before and after care. School hours are seldom enough to "cover" job hours + commuting time. We pay $500 a month for older DD for before&after care in the school year. And summer is a killer if you are not on the school schedule. Full day elementary age summer camps are $$$. FAR more than comparable full time child care for an preschooler IME.

Ideally, I would like to move down to part time or do a lot of telework as older DD gets older.

[fivi2]

I didn't spend a whole lot of time thinking about what I wanted to do, and I regret it. I spent my SAHM time pretending I wouldn't have to go back to work and swearing I would definitely NOT go back to what I did before. (ha!)

Then I basically had a meltdown one day and decided we couldn't afford for me to stay home anymore. At that point the only thing I was (sort of) qualified to do was what I had done before. I fortunately found a job quickly. It is okay, but I still wish I had explored other fields like niccig. At this point I feel like I am stuck doing something I really don't enjoy.

My point is, if you have the time, spend some of it looking into various options. Read books about various fields, go meet with people, take an aptitude test.

Or, if you liked what you did, brainstorm other ways to use it. You mention private schools. I have an acquaintance who basically cobbled together a job going to different private schools. None of them could afford a full time music teacher, so she contracted with several and goes into them like once a week. (we haven't been in touch in a while, so I am fuzzy on the details). She also ran a music program at a church.

I would also look into certification requirements.

[ourbabygirl]

Thanks for starting this thread! I'm in a similar situation, though I only have two kids and DS was born last fall so I've got about 5 years until he goes to kindergarten. I taught at the high school level, and LOVED so much about it- the kids, my fellow department members, the supportive administration, the awesome parents that were very involved with their kids' education and were typically very supportive of us teachers, and also the fact that I taught an 'elective' so the kids I got in class were college-bound and were usually in my class because they wanted to be there.

I liked the hours a lot (awesome starting the day early and being done for the weekend by 3 p.m. on a Friday! :cheerleader1:), but I DIDN'T love all the work involved in teaching. I always had so much planning and grading to do, it was never ending and really caused me a lot of stress. I taught up until I had DD, and I seriously don't know how people do it with kids! :bowdown: Anyhow, since I've been home I've thought about staying in the education field (also need to eventually renew my license- it expired in June), but switching levels, to either college/ community college, or pre-school. I'm not sure how much it would cost to take the college classes to get certified to teach at either level, but luckily DH is on board and now I just need to slowly start chipping away at it since my mom will start watching both kids one day a week at most. So I'm hoping to start volunteering in a pre-school to see how I like it and go from there.

I would think that if you really like the high school age, then teaching at a (community/) college could be a good fit for you! I have a friend who teaches biology at a local community college and I think it's very family-friendly for her- she has a 4 year old and a new baby and teaches some online classes, but also has a couple of days off during the week. ETA: O.k., maybe teaching orchestra could be hard to do online! But maybe there's a music history or theory or some other sort of class you could do?
Or is there anything like a Children's Theater Company/ Children's Orchestra you could become a part of, maybe a conductor for that? Maybe volunteer/ work with your local community theater and their orchestra?

Good luck with whatever you decide to do! :thumbsup:

[ang79]

Even with school age children it is hard to find a part time job that pays enough to cover before and after care. School hours are seldom enough to "cover" job hours + commuting time. We pay $500 a month for older DD for before&after care in the school year. And summer is a killer if you are not on the school schedule. Full day elementary age summer camps are $$$. FAR more than comparable full time child care for an preschooler IME.

This is what I'm trying to explain to DH (he's itching for me to go back to work so that we actually have some money to do trips, home renovations, etc.) Really, working in a school is the ideal situation (no need for before/after school care or summer care). I have my degree in EACH and Elem. education and worked for two years as a teacher, but honestly, it was very stressful, I brought home tons of work every evening/weekend/vacation, and I wasn't loving it. Then we moved back to PA and I worked two years doing in-home counseling with diagnosed kids (big difference from in classroom teaching and very interesting, but not a job I'd want when having kids at home as the hours were often evening hours). I quit that when DD1 was born and have been doing random jobs since (nanny, in home daycare, and have also worked as an online tutor which is good because it keeps me in the education field). DD2 won't go to kindergarten for 3 more years and I seriously am scared silly about the whole resume and interview process again and I really don't know what I'd like to do......I don't think I want to full-time teach in a public school. But pay for the private Christian schools in this area is not great and would definately be eaten up by tuition costs (if I wanted to work at the same school my kids go to). I actually think I might like being a classroom assistant (still get to work with kids but no take-home work), but again, pay is substantially less than actually teaching. My PA certificate has expired and I would need to take one or 2 classes to re-activate that. I do have a private schools certification though (needed to continue with my online tutoring position). I've thought about possibly going back and getting certified to be a school librarian or counselor or some kind of therapist (speech, OT, etc.), but having to pay for those classes could be pricey and out of budget.

Ideally in 3 years DH will be higher up in his job and I can do something part time that works with the girls' school hours and that also leaves me with the flexibility to volunteer in their school, etc. Now to just figure out what that might be.....

[niccig]

It is okay, but I still wish I had explored other fields like niccig. At this point I feel like I am stuck doing something I really don't enjoy.



I worked something else out, as it was always the plan when I SAHMed. DH's work has earlier retirement age than other professions, and the deal we struck when I became a SAHM was to work out a job, retrain, start the new career before DH's work slows down. He will probably transition into something else, and that will be his time to do something else.

Plus, I've had a break from work before (when getting my green card) and gotten sucked back into my same work, so I knew I had to do it this time.

[niccig]

School hours are seldom enough to "cover" job hours + commuting time. We pay $500 a month for older DD for before&after care in the school year. And summer is a killer if you are not on the school schedule. Full day elementary age summer camps are $$$. FAR more than comparable full time child care for an preschooler IME.


We did 5 weeks of full time camp this summer for my summer class, and it was pricey.

I know people want teacher's hours, but my mother was a teacher and she didn't leave at 3pm. She was often there until after 5pm and did work at home. The days she left at 3pm, she did even more work at home. I know it gives the flexibility of taking a lot of it home with you, but the hours were still more than 9-3 as many people think teaching is. It was 9-3 facetime and then a few hours at home a day to do all the grading, preparation.

[bubbaray]

Even with school age children it is hard to find a part time job that pays enough to cover before and after care. School hours are seldom enough to "cover" job hours + commuting time. We pay $500 a month for older DD for before&after care in the school year. And summer is a killer if you are not on the school schedule. Full day elementary age summer camps are $$$. FAR more than comparable full time child care for an preschooler IME.

Ideally, I would like to move down to part time or do a lot of telework as older DD gets older.


:yeahthat:

[ourbabygirl]

:yeahthat:
I wrote a bit about that in maestramommy's thread, but I taught high school for 8 years before having DD, and while our contract hours were 7-3, most of us were there for at least an hour or two more than that, just getting the classroom ready, meeting with students (administering tests if they were gone, doing help sessions, etc.), meeting with parents, you name it). Then I would usually spend an hour or so at home each night planning, but mostly grading (and more on weekends, of course... I dreaded assigning big writing projects and such because they were so labor-intensive to grade). I really can't imagine what I would do if I were teaching now with two little kids... I would be exhausted, cranky, and would have absolutely no down time. I bow down to those who are still high quality teachers, putting so much into their work, their students, their classrooms, extracurricular activities that they coach or are in charge of, while having a family!

[maestramommy]

:yeahthat:
I wrote a bit about that in maestramommy's thread, but I taught high school for 8 years before having DD, and while our contract hours were 7-3, most of us were there for at least an hour or two more than that, just getting the classroom ready, meeting with students (administering tests if they were gone, doing help sessions, etc.), meeting with parents, you name it). Then I would usually spend an hour or so at home each night planning, but mostly grading (and more on weekends, of course... I dreaded assigning big writing projects and such because they were so labor-intensive to grade). I really can't imagine what I would do if I were teaching now with two little kids... I would be exhausted, cranky, and would have absolutely no down time. I bow down to those who are still high quality teachers, putting so much into their work, their students, their classrooms, extracurricular activities that they coach or are in charge of, while having a family!

Yeah, this was part of another reason I became a SAHM, because I didn't see myself being available to my kids (students that is) the way I was after I had my own kids. I was at school from 7-3:30, sometimes 4, but I also spent a ton of time writing and arranging music at home. Also, because I had a pretty long commute, on performance days I never bothered to go home. I just stayed, ate dinner at school, got work done, then did the concert. On those days I wouldn't get home until 9. And since I was full time, responsible for lower middle and upper school orchestra, the number of performances a year really added up. Then there were field trips and tour........

Like I said, it was an awesome job. While I was single, and then childless. But I could see myself becoming a huge ball of stress once the kids came. One of my coworkers had 2 kids while working there. She tells a story of bringing her nursing DD on tour back in the day..... Yikes, I don't think I could do that. And she and another coworker lived relatively close to the school.

I do know of other women who continued this line of work after having kids, so obviously it can be done. It's just that I'm not sure I'd want to take the hit to quality of life to make it happen. Could depend on a lot of things, I guess.