Update never mind, all better! I f'ed up and dh won't accept my apology

[SnuggleBuggles]

update- all is cool today. We were both just tired last night.

I understand why he's upset but I don't know how to make it better. He's been doing a long, long over due house project and he's spent a lot of time and money on it. He's staining wood and it's been a big hassle. Last night, after midnight (which might explain my lack of filter), I said, "yeah that looks fine but I don't like the actual wood." Gosh, he was so, so upset. "Why didn't you tell me when I brought it home from the store that you didn't like it??," he rationally asked. Thing is, he was so impatient and in a rush to get it done that that when store B didn't have the wood that matched the wood we already had purchased at store A he didn't bother to go back to store A. He made the choice to roll with what he found at store B so I decided to as well. I meant to keep my mouth shut about my dislike of it but it came out last night. Ugh, I told him that I appreciated all of his work and it really would be fine. He is now sulking and angry. I hate that he will let this be toxic for days and days.

Beth

[momm]

Aww. Sorry. I hope he accepts it when he calms down, and you both make up soon.

[plusbellelavie]

Aww. Sorry. I hope he accepts it when he calms down, and you both make up soon.

:yeahthat: So sorry!!

[jal]

Speaking as a DH that is currently working on a L...O...N...G term house project myself (so I can really put myself in your DH's shoes):

Does Store A still have more matching wood? It is even a possibility to ditch the Store B wood and get more Store A wood? Are you in a position where you can put forth some extra effort and actually help in the work of replacing the wood?

We "builders" alwasy notice the flaws in our work. And now that he knows you don't like Store B wood, this will now be a "flaw" in his work.

If it's possible to make the flaw "go away", the extra time it took to get it there will soon be forgotten (maybe not next week, but perhaps by next year).

But if he completes the project with the Store B wood, it will always be remembered as a "flaw". How much he will continue to notice and care about this "flaw" in the future, I can't say...

[SnuggleBuggles]

Speaking as a DH that is currently working on a L...O...N...G term house project myself (so I can really put myself in your DH's shoes):

Does Store A still have more matching wood? It is even a possibility to ditch the Store B wood and get more Store A wood? Are you in a position where you can put forth some extra effort and actually help in the work of replacing the wood?

We "builders" alwasy notice the flaws in our work. And now that he knows you don't like Store B wood, this will now be a "flaw" in his work.

If it's possible to make the flaw "go away", the extra time it took to get it there will soon be forgotten (maybe not next week, but perhaps by next year).

But if he completes the project with the Store B wood, it will always be remembered as a "flaw". How much he will continue to notice and care about this "flaw" in the future, I can't say...

He already cut and sanded all of the boards so it'd mean starting again. That would suck. :(

Beth

[jal]

He already cut and sanded all of the boards so it'd mean starting again. That would suck. :(

Beth

Sometimes you just have to toss out what you've been working on and start over. I've had my fair share of situations where I would spend hours trying to get something installed, only to realize I had to tear it all down and start over. Very frustrating.

Sometimes you got to redo it, sometimes you have to live with it.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Sometimes you just have to toss out what you've been working on and start over. I've had my fair share of situations where I would spend hours trying to get something installed, only to realize I had to tear it all down and start over. Very frustrating.

Sometimes you got to redo it, sometimes you have to live with it.

We finally decided to give up on stain and paint instead. I am good enough at that that I helped on that one.

Beth