Is a wedding ring important to your marriage? (commentary on the show Downsized")

[amldaley]

I had never heard of the show "Downsized" before but just saw an ad for it. The family is struggling financially with job loss and medical bills. The wife says, "I think selling my wedding ring might be the answer". The husband gets angry and retorts, "Why don't you just tear up the marriage certificate then, too!?"

This really shocked me. I wouldn't want to sell something precious DH bought for me (though, he never has bought me expensive jewelry, not even an engagement ring) but if it meant providing for my family, I would do it. To me, a ring is not the marriage. I haven't worn a wedding ring regularly in years. (I am very handsy and don't get my nails done). And DH would support me in that.

What do you think? What would be the line for you to sell your engagement/wedding ring or other significant jewelry?

[swissair81]

I know a few years ago when we were having real financial problems, my husband got truly angry at my suggestion that I sell my ring and wedding jewelery. I sold all the rest of it, but he drew the line there. That being said, he absolutely does not consider the wedding or engagement ring our marriage.

[KathyN115]

I rarely wear my engagement or wedding rings. Rings bother me for some reason. If we needed the money, I would sell them. I don't think my husband would mind.

[amldaley]

I know a few years ago when we were having real financial problems, my husband got truly angry at my suggestion that I sell my ring and wedding jewelery. I sold all the rest of it, but he drew the line there.

Did he tell you why? Just curious. It would hurt my DH but he wouldn't be angry.

[boolady]

This really shocked me. I wouldn't want to sell something precious DH bought for me (though, he never has bought me expensive jewelry, not even an engagement ring) but if it meant providing for my family, I would do it. To me, a ring is not the marriage. I haven't worn a wedding ring regularly in years. (I am very handsy and don't get my nails done). And DH would support me in that.

It's so funny you mentioned this ad, because DH and I were just talking about it one night this week. DH attaches much more sentimental value to material things than I do, and there' s nothing wrong with that; that said, my engagement and wedding rings are two material things I have a strong sentimental attachment to.

So I asked DH what he would say if we were in dire financial straits and I wanted to sell my rings, and he said he would take his off, too, and we would sell them together because we are married because we're married, not because some rings say we are. TBH, I didn't know what he was going to say, so I was glad that we were at least on the same page.

What would circumstances have to be for me to do that? Needing immediate/dire medical attention for a family member, about to become homeless or some other serious financial situation. I would not be holding onto my rings if I thought we would otherwise lose our home AND selling the rings would change that.

[larig]

I'd sell it before I sold my grandmothers', and DH would support me in that. I don't wear a ring, like OP, but I have one that I really like. It just doesn't work in my day-to-day life to wear one.

[weech]

I'm really attached to my wedding rings (and DH's too, for that matter), so it would be one of the very last things to go. DH wouldn't be angry if I asked to sell it, he'd be shocked. I think if he asked to sell his, though, I would probably get pretty emotional.

[klwa]

If we needed to sell them to make ends meet, I'd sell them. And I wear it most every day. But I have a friend who has stated that she doesn't feel like she's married if she takes it off.

[crl]

I don't wear a ring all that much anymore and neither does dh. We would both be sad to see my rings go, but it would not equate to ending our marriage at all. That said, my rings are nice, but not THAT nice, the proceeds wouldn't get us very far.

Catherine

[Jo..]

I would never sell my wedding ring, or even take it off.

I didn't get an engagement ring because they seem extravagant and I dislike diamonds.

But my wedding band is precious. It is a plain platinum band. I will be buried with it.

[arivecchi]

Yes, our rings are very important to us. DH worked hard for my rings and I think he is very proud of having me wear them. I think it would be an absolute last resort to part with them.

I wanted to sell my weddings gowns because they were pricey and are gathering dust in the basement. DH absolutely does not want me to do that. No idea why. We don't even have girls!

[kristenk]

I would be more likely to sell my engagement ring. Our wedding rings were blessed by the officiant of our wedding and that means something to me. I wouldn't replace/upgrade my ring for the same reason.

Our rings aren't our marriage, but they definitely have meaning to me.

[BabyBearsMom]

I don't know what kind of bling the lady on the show was rocking, but my wedding band and engagement ring wouldn't be worth enough for us to make ends meet :tongue5:

In all seriousness, if somehow, miraculously, it would make a difference, I would sell it. My ring is meaningful to me and I never take it off. But if it is a decision between feeding my DD and having a ring, I would always choose my DD. We aren't just a married couple, we are a family and we do what it takes to care for that family.

[waitingforgrace]

I think it's more just the symbolism of the rings. DH would be really hurt, which he might express as anger, if I wanted to sell my rings. He worked really hard to be able to buy a ring he knew I'd love and symbolizes so much of our history together and our future. I know he (and I) would find other ways to get money before ever even considering selling the rings. It would have to be absolute last ditch effort to get money in order to sell them.

[TwinFoxes]

It would literally have to mean food in my babies' mouths or a roof over their head. I would be really sad. I don't know how DH would react, except I know he wouldn't feel the marriage was over or something. More likely he'd feel devastated and guilty that I felt I had to do it.

[maestramommy]

I wouldn't sell my wedding ring. But then, I'm pretty sure my this band wouldn't feed my family for more than a week and a half. Now my engagement ring OTOH.....

It's a tough call, I think. Different things carry different weight for different people. Certainly I would sell a lot of other things first.

[AnnieW625]

My engagement ring is my wedding ring, and it has a small platinum band. I am not a fan of diamonds and would've loved a sapphire or emerald ring, but besides how the ring looked on my finger I had no say, that was all DH's doing and IMHO it should be. If he wanted a plain band I wouldn't be the one to argue either. I wear mine daily and only take it off at night when I sleep. Sometimes on the weekend I don't put it on, but the only other times I don't put it on is when I am on a boat, in a swimming pool, or at the ocean. I would cut many other things before selling it because it is unique, but if for some reason I had to sell it I don't think it would signify that I was no longer married.

DH never wears his wedding ring because his knuckles are thick and the ring is actually too big for him, but because of the knuckles it can't be any smaller. I actually sometimes wish I wouldn't have bought it for him because he only wears it to weddings, and sometimes church.

[crayonblue]

I rarely take my rings off but if we needed the money, I (and DH) would have no problem selling them. They are just things.

[LexyLou]

Honestly, I can't imagine EVER selling my wedding rings. There is just too much sentimental value in them.

Especially because my wedding band is my grandmothers wedding band. She and my grandfather were MADLY in love until the day he died 6 years ago. They were married 65 years and together 72.

It's an eternity band with diamonds from both her paternal and maternal grandmothers and some of the stones are more than 100 years apart in age. It's very special to me to not only wear the ring that my grandmother wore for 65 years but to also have diamond that belonged to my great great grandmothers.

It could probably fetch a decent amount but the family history and love is just too much for me to part with it, for any reason.

[emily]

Our wedding jewelry, I would have no problem selling if we needed the money to feed the kids, keep a roof over our heads. They are just things. Besides, DH's platinum band hasnt fit him since he gained sympathy weight when I was preggo with DC1 :hysterical:. I wear my engagement ring and wedding band everyday.

I dont think I would be able to sell jewelry that belonged to my grandmother or mother tho.

[hellokitty]

I would have no problems selling my wedding and engagement ring if we needed to for emergency $ to keep the family afloat. My DH might be slightly upset, but would realize that it was something that we had to do.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

I can't imagine selling mine. I mean, they aren't worth that much, maybe a few thousand dollars. To get to a point where they had to go, it seems like I would have to get rid of a lot of other things first. A few thousand dollars wouldn't keep our house if we were that desperate, so we would have to get rid of the house first, I think. I mean, I suppose if that was my only option, I would sell them. I just don't see how we'd get to that point very easily.

On the topic of Downsized, I don't understand how that show is still on. Didn't they make money from the first season? I think the whole thing is kind of fake.

[Tondi G]

I wouldn't sell my wedding band but I would sell my engagement ring if we needed the money.

[g-mama]

I can see selling a wedding band being an issue of pride for a man, kwim?

[Elilly]

If we were already living with family, sold the cars etc. I would sell my rings. I could easily part with my engagement ring but my wedding ring would be a different story.

[jse107]

It would literally have to mean food in my babies' mouths or a roof over their head. I would be really sad. I don't know how DH would react, except I know he wouldn't feel the marriage was over or something. More likely he'd feel devastated and guilty that I felt I had to do it.

This exactly. I would feel devastated too.

[MamaSnoo]

I would be sad to sell my ring in hard times, but if times were bad enough I would do it. But, it would have to be because we really needed it.

Likewise, if times are good in the future and we have more money, I am not interested in an "upgrade."

I like my ring, and enjoy having the reflection of how things were when we got engaged.

[ThreeofUs]

My wedding ring wouldn't bring anything, lol! I would sell my engagement ring, as a last resort, but it also wouldn't bring a whole lot.

My family matters more to me than any thing, and to keep my family fed and together. I'd sell *anything* if either of these were threatened.

[LBW]

My engagement ring is an heirloom from my husband's family. It's been in the family since around the 1860s. So, no, I would never be able to see it, nor would I want to. It will eventually go to one of my sons.

My wedding ring is a simple platinum band, and it wouldn't be worth selling.

[ellies mom]

Well, considering I only spent $30 on my wedding band, I'm not sure that I would get much for it 10 years down the road (I wanted something I could replace on the way home from work if I ever needed it cut off).

That said, I'd sell my engagement ring before I sold my wedding band but I'd sell both if absolutely necessary. It is a symbol but not the marriage. And if it was the difference between feeding my family or having a ring on my finger, I'm feeding my family.

[Bens Momma]

I would be more likely to sell my engagement ring. Our wedding rings were blessed by the officiant of our wedding and that means something to me. I wouldn't replace/upgrade my ring for the same reason.

Our rings aren't our marriage, but they definitely have meaning to me.

:yeahthat:

I also wonder for a man if it's a sense of love and pride. While DH isn't sentimental at all I think he realizes the meaning behind the rings and feels proud that he works hard to provide for our family and that he was able to get me beautiful rings. Ironically, other than my wedding set he thinks that the whole diamond market is a big sham and finds other jewelery much prettier!

[JBaxter]

I can't see ever selling them.They mean the world to me because of DH designing them and selecting the stones. He went to a jeweler with a sketch of what he wanted.

[PunkyBoo]

DH was pretty upset when I had to have my rings repaired/ resized and didn't wear them for 2-3 weeks. I felt emotional about having them off, but was surprised at how uncomfortable he was with it.

I don't think selling my rings would help us out of much of a financial disaster. They are worth FAR more to me/us than they are worth monetarily.

[mackmama]

I could theoretically see selling my engagement ring since I rarely wear it. I wouldn't want to not have my wedding band though - even though I also don't wear it very often. Rings tend to bother my fingers, but the symbolism matters to me.