mjs64
09-07-2011, 01:36 AM
Ever since I got pregnant with DS, I've been uncomfortable with my changing body and not as interested in sex with DH. I had a painful labor, resulting in a 4th degree episiotomy plus tearing that made sex unbearable (physically) for 4 months postpartum. It's much less painful now, and I've stopped breastfeeding, so my breasts are less tender. I also had an IUD inserted about a month ago, so now there are really no more excuses to avoid it.
DH is incredibly patient and supportive. But I know he wants to have sex (or even just physical contact) more than I do. He'd be happy having sex every day. He's constantly telling me how sexy I am (I know, I'm lucky), but I don't feel that way at all. I've always had body image issues and was quite a bit overweight as a teenager. Now, I'm normal-ish, though I'm still about 15 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. But I can't stand my body. And I don't want him to see me naked. Even if he thinks I'm sexy, I don't, and this, I think, affects my sex drive--I have about zero. This is one of the reasons I had the IUD (copper) inserted, thinking that all of the hormones could be contributing to my lack of interest. Now I'm thinking it has more to do with self-esteem.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for--BTDT? Or maybe I just want to vent? DH and I just tried to have sex tonight, and I just wasn't into it, and he could tell, so he stopped. I felt so badly, and he was (and always is) so sweet and supportive. I told him I just needed some time to be alone. He said, "of course," and told me not to worry.
Any tips? Maybe I just need to wait longer to get all of my hormones back in tune? Maybe some days are better than others? I sort of feel like my body has been through A LOT lately and that it needs a break. Know what I mean?
I want to have sex with DH, but sometimes I have to make myself. Sometimes I end up enjoying it, but a lot of the time I'm wishing it were already over. It doesn't hurt anymore--I'm just not that into it, and I just don't feel sexy. He's very attractive, and intellectually (I know this is a paradox) I want to have sex with him. I want to please him, and it makes me feel good that he wants me. I just need to feel that drive again. Any advice? Or commiseration?
DH is incredibly patient and supportive. But I know he wants to have sex (or even just physical contact) more than I do. He'd be happy having sex every day. He's constantly telling me how sexy I am (I know, I'm lucky), but I don't feel that way at all. I've always had body image issues and was quite a bit overweight as a teenager. Now, I'm normal-ish, though I'm still about 15 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. But I can't stand my body. And I don't want him to see me naked. Even if he thinks I'm sexy, I don't, and this, I think, affects my sex drive--I have about zero. This is one of the reasons I had the IUD (copper) inserted, thinking that all of the hormones could be contributing to my lack of interest. Now I'm thinking it has more to do with self-esteem.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for--BTDT? Or maybe I just want to vent? DH and I just tried to have sex tonight, and I just wasn't into it, and he could tell, so he stopped. I felt so badly, and he was (and always is) so sweet and supportive. I told him I just needed some time to be alone. He said, "of course," and told me not to worry.
Any tips? Maybe I just need to wait longer to get all of my hormones back in tune? Maybe some days are better than others? I sort of feel like my body has been through A LOT lately and that it needs a break. Know what I mean?
I want to have sex with DH, but sometimes I have to make myself. Sometimes I end up enjoying it, but a lot of the time I'm wishing it were already over. It doesn't hurt anymore--I'm just not that into it, and I just don't feel sexy. He's very attractive, and intellectually (I know this is a paradox) I want to have sex with him. I want to please him, and it makes me feel good that he wants me. I just need to feel that drive again. Any advice? Or commiseration?