Would you post on FB you're pregnant before telling your family?

[maiaann]

Just a small vent here. Trying to decide whether or not I should be bitter. I'm a little hurt. Although we're close-knit, my family lives out of state. I'm rarely on facebook. Today I log on and see a million comments on my SIL's (my little brother's wife) page. Guess she's pregnant. I'm hurt. I've had 3 kids and I can't imagine posting to cyberspace before calling my family to tell them first. :6: I didn't post anything - I was too upset. If I'd never logged onto FB, I'd still be in the dark.

ETA: Okay, so MY idiot brother (dad to be) posted the announcement on HER page. Good grief. I hope he at least called Mom first! I'm happy for them, but if he wants a congratulations from me he'll have to call me. I refuse to congratulate them on FB!

[DietCokeLover]

Just a small vent here. Trying to decide whether or not I should be bitter. I'm a little hurt. Although we're close-knit, my family lives out of state. I'm rarely on facebook. Today I log on and see a million comments on my SIL's (my little brother's wife) page. Guess she's pregnant. I'm hurt. I've had 3 kids and I can't imagine posting to cyberspace before calling my family to tell them first. :6: I didn't post anything - I was too upset. If I'd never logged onto FB, I'd still be in the dark.

No, that is definitely not something I would do.

[Staraglimmer]

Nope. I'd pretend that you didn't see it if I were you. Is it possible that she assumed that your brother or MIL told you?


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Steph

[TwinFoxes]

I wouldn't do it. But maybe she told your brother to call his family and he didn't? DH called his family, and I called mine when we finally spilled the beans (of course once he told them why he was calling they couldn't care less about talking to him and I got put on the phone right away.) Anyway, just a thought. I wouldn't hold a grudge, it's such a happy occasion.

[Clarity]

I wouldn't have a problem at all finding out via FB that my brother was having a child. Now, I wouldn't tell my parents or grandparents that way but I guess I'm not as close to my brother or something. Wouldn't bother me.

[Melaine]

This will probably happen to some of DH's family. I called my family but he is not into calling them and I am not going to call all 5 of his siblings and step-siblings long distance. MIL just emailed to ask me if she can spill the beans and I guess I will say yes because DH is not going to do it. Hopefully no one will be upset but we go months without talking to each other, so it doesn't seem crazy to me.

ETA: Re-reading your OP, yes I would be hurt. If it's MY sibling, then I expect a call. DH is not NEARLY as close to his siblings as I am to mine. I called my sister and both my brothers to tell them and made sure to do it before anyone mentioned it on facebook.

[mytwosons]

I wouldn't do it, but it wouldn't surprise me to see others do it.

I think younger people just consider FB the norm for announcements. I've been amazed to see multiple people announce deaths (just minutes after happening).

That said, I do understand being hurt by this practice.

[WolfpackMom]

You said just comments, so did she post it or did people just start saying that and it snowballed with people seeing the original person's comment on her page? After I was 12 weeks I told my bff she could tell her mom and her mom posted on my wall within minutes while I was still in the process of letting my aunts/uncles/cousins know. She outed me with her comment before I even had a chance.

If it were my sibling, like in your case, yeah I would be pretty upset.

[momm]

God, no way. I would definitely be hurt.

Are you sure she posted? Maybe someone outed her and people saw and congratulated her?

[hellokitty]

No, I wouldn't, just b/c I know it would cause family drama. My parents have been PO'd before, even when they are the first to find out (we usually wait until after first tri), they get upset that they didn't know as soon as we got a + hpt. Some family members just get really testy about this. However, if one of my sils did this, I would admit that it would be odd to me, but with facebook, it seems like social rules have gone out the window these days.

[infocrazy]

You said just comments, so did she post it or did people just start saying that and it snowballed with people seeing the original person's comment on her page? After I was 12 weeks I told my bff she could tell her mom and her mom posted on my wall within minutes while I was still in the process of letting my aunts/uncles/cousins know. She outed me with her comment before I even had a chance.

If it were my sibling, like in your case, yeah I would be pretty upset.

:yeahthat:

I told my cousin and he posted something on my wall. I deleted it pretty quickly since I didn't want to be outed yet, but I could totally see that happening. Especially since when he did that it would likely show in the feed for my other family members, who may or may not have known. So then they could have gone and made their own comments, and so on...

[TwinFoxes]

You said just comments, so did she post it or did people just start saying that and it snowballed with people seeing the original person's comment on her page? After I was 12 weeks I told my bff she could tell her mom and her mom posted on my wall within minutes while I was still in the process of letting my aunts/uncles/cousins know. She outed me with her comment before I even had a chance.


Very good point...maybe you weren't "dissed" after all OP. And if she's not on FB a lot, maybe she has no idea that she's been outed.

[maiaann]

Okay, so MY idiot brother (dad to be) posted the announcement on HER page. Good grief. I hope he at least called Mom first! I'm happy for them, but if he wants a congratulations from me he'll have to call me. I refuse to congratulate them on FB!

[niccig]

How old are there? I've found younger generation posts all kind of things on FB. We found out my cousin had been in a serious motor cycle accident through his SIL's FB post. My parents hadn't called my sisters or I as waiting to see if any more information. She then got phone calls from us saying "WTH didn't you tell us."

My mother couldn't believe it was on FB so quickly.

[essnce629]

Are they young? I don't think it's that big of a deal. I still had a MySpace page, instead of FB, when I first got pregnant with DS2 (I was 27) and I changed the little paragraph about myself to say we were expecting our second when I was just 5 weeks pregnant! I did it the night before I told my mom because I figured she never goes on MySpace and I would still be telling her on my own. She ended up checking my page that night and when I called her the next day to tell her she said she already knew!!! I only planned to call her and tell her and I figured she'd call my grandma and let her know and the news would trickle down from there to my aunt, uncles, etc (I don't have any siblings). It wouldn't even occur to me to call every single family member, but then again my mom is the only person I talk to pretty much every day, and everyone else I just see at birthday parties, holidays, etc. If I had siblings I was close to then I would probably call them myself the second I found out I was pregnant. I had told all my best friends before I even told my mom. I pretty much have always told everyone the day I got a BFP!

[BabyBearsMom]

I think to hear it that way from a sibling is super lame. I like to tell my parents and DH's parents and my sister in person (all local). And we call DH's siblings and DH's grandparents directly. I called all of my aunts and told them too. DH let his mom tell his aunts and uncles because they aren't close. I feel like you need to tell 1) immediate family and close friends; 2) your boss and then you can blab it on facebook if it suits you.

[longtallsally05]

I wouldn't do that unless I wanted to royally p!$$ off my mother, as that is one of her biggest pet peeves: people posting stuff on FB before talking to family about it. Knowing this, I basically forced DH call his parents to tell them we were expecting DC#3 after the first trimester was behind me. DH and I were so ticked @ MIL for making unsolicited comments ("You don't need anymore kids; two is enough for anyone; you shouldn't have anymore children etc) that I don't think he would have told MIL until after I delivered if I hadn't forced him. SIL is on FB and I knew that once I announced on FB that SIL would tell the ILs and they'd blame me for not sharing the news earlier.

[pinkmomagain]

Something like this caused a rift in our family (well DHs).

Facebook is not the place to inform close family about important life events. Period. If you make a big announcement on FB, you will get a "like" from me. If you want me to have the enthusiasm I would for an important occasion, then you will have to call me up.

[belovedgandp]

Guilty

I'd called my immediate family and close friends. DH is not close to his family. We don't even HAVE phone numbers for two of his siblings - which I'm putting on them not me since I attempt communication about every 6 months; I even MAIL letters and have asked for it.

DH called one brother and attempted to call MIL. She didn't return his multiple calls for SIX days. I said screw it and posted on FB when I was going to have my 20 week ultrasound (so if they'd seen us at all they would have known). Yes, MIL and a couple SILs were irked, but dysfunctional doesn't even begin to describe this family.

[Neatfreak]

I'm in the minority camp - we didn't actually call our siblings personally to let them know. My sister still lives with my parents, so they passed on the news (with each of my pregnancies), and DH isn't close with his sister. I'm actually closer with my FB friends, so it was good place to announce to the people in our lives!

[wellyes]

Me? No.
My friends/families/colleagues who are in their early 20s? Probably.
The social world is changed.

[MamaInMarch]

I find it incredibly distasteful, regardless. It does seem to be the way of things. My MIL passed away a couple of months ago very unexpectedly and my BIL posted it on FB almost immediately upon receiving the call so a lot of DH's family found out that their cousin/sister/relation was dead via FB. Super bad call.

[HannaAddict]

No, honestly I would not be upset. I might wonder if someone was supposed to tell me or if I'd missed it somehow, but upset, no. It isn't about me, no one announced my pregnancy on FB before I had a chance to tell who I wanted! That would make me upset. I would throw a hearty congrats on their wall and then call them for the details. Congrats on being an aunt to be.

[squimp]

I wouldn't be too upset, and would try to get past it. My SIL (my brother's wife) got mad at me for something similar after my DD was born (my loudmouth aunt sent out a mass email before I could call them), and we never got past it. She's a kook and made it all about her and called MY sisters to complain. But anyway, I would just chalk it up to a brave new era in email communications and tell her congrats or call.

[longtallsally05]

My MIL passed away a couple of months ago very unexpectedly and my BIL posted it on FB almost immediately upon receiving the call so a lot of DH's family found out that their cousin/sister/relation was dead via FB. Super bad call.


What a moron! I don't even know this guy and I want to kick him in the shins.

[MamaInMarch]

What a moron! I don't even know this guy and I want to kick him in the shins.

If you knew him, the shins aren't where you'd want to kick him!;)