Lousy teacher- WWYD?-UPDATE in OP

[wolverine2]

I dropped DS off late so I could go in the classroom- teacher did not even acknowledge our presence, so I had to tell DS what to do and wrench him off my arm to go sit down. The classroom looked better than I thought at least. I had a good talk w/ the lead teacher- there are many concerns. They will try to help. I think the teacher is teaching the way she has always taught and how it was done at her previous school. So the question is whether she will change quickly or stick to her ways... not sure what I'll do now. Meet with the teacher first to ask her some questions, I guess.
_________________

DS is in 1st grade and I'm really concerned about his teacher. She's new this year- has been teaching for 18 yrs in an underperforming urban school and kind of got forced into DS's school by the union because her school closed.

Some of the things I'm concerned about:
-She called the parents of a child who was misbehaving in front of the whole class.
-She's all about reward/punishment. Lots of kids missing recess- random rewards from a treasure box my son can't figure out how to earn. Kids who behave get to "watch TV" on Friday (according to my son)
-All the rules are in the negative, and one of them is "no weapons" and then she told a story about how at her old school a kid stabbed another with scissors and he had to go to the ER. Seriously? These kids are 6. We live in the city, but c'mon.
-She actually told other parents that she doesn't want to be there but she needs a job and maybe by January she'll get back into her teaching groove(she's coming off maternity leave).

But I'm most concerned that they seem to do worksheets all day- no creative hands-on learning, no differentiating instruction, meaningless busywork homework, no morning meeting, no literacy centers.

I work in a excellent suburban school and could bring DS here tomorrow if I wanted. I'm so tempted, but we chose to not bring him here for reasons- I would lose our whole community, his friends, etc. All the other teachers at this school are fantastic. But can I sacrifice a whole year? What would be bad enough for you to consider pulling your child out of a school? There's only one class per grade, so switching classes is not an option.

[wendmatt]

That totally sucks. Is it a generally good school? Do you have a good principal? I would meet with them and tell them your concerns, that is an awful attitude. I agree about keeping the community/friends for your DS, I think that's important. All of the reasons you posted are good valid reasons for wanting to discuss the teacher with the principal, bigger reasons than just going to the teacher. Is your DS generally happy there? Enough to keep going and hope for a better 2nd grade teacher? ugh, I don't know what I would do in your shoes.
Good luck, sounds like it's going to be a long year.

[JustMe]

Ugh, I feel for you. I would first look at it from sort of a rules-based perspective. Is the reward-punishment system she is using breaking any school/district rules. At least in my area, most schools really push positive behavior systems. If she is breaking rules, would discuss this with the principal in a I-know-she-is-new-and-may-not-be-aware, type way. I agree that I would consider my relationship with the principal/any other school personnel, and if it has been positive, I would approach them with my concerns.

I totally understand your concerns about not wanting to change ds' school, but as someone whose dd's life has improved immensely by a recent school change, I would strongly consider it if you don't think things can change for your child. A year is a long time for a child.

[infomama]

I would make an appointment with the Principal asap and discuss my concerns. Prior to that I would probably talk to some other parents in the class to feedback as well (not get into specifics...just ask how they feel about the teacher this year).

[wolverine2]

There is no principal- but I am hoping to talk to the lead teacher tomorrow (who is the closest thing to a principal). I have e-mailed her and told her I'm very concerned- I know her well b/c I was co-chair of the PTO last year. I've talked to a few other parents- some are getting no bad reports home from their kids, others are looking into other schools they are so upset. I do like this school and know that the second and third grade teachers are very good. But I'm just not sure I can wait it out a whole year. This woman has been teaching a long time and she defends what she does- she's not really interested in changing. And my son has lost that "I love school" gleam that used to be in his eye... I'm not sure he even realizes it though- he does like his friends and is generally resistant to change.

[crl]

Just thinking out loud, could you switch for just this year and then return?

Catherine

[ahisma]

I would not have my child in that classroom, and if that meant switching schools for a year, I would do it.

My DH teaches in a very urban school district - that does not justify poor teaching.

For me the biggest red flag is saying that she doesn't want to be there. That's ridiculous.

[ha98ed14]

Take him for the year. If you want to come back next year, that's fine. Maybe he will connect with friends at your school. Friendships are fluid. Community isn't more important than his first grade year. There is only one first day!

[wolverine2]

If I could take him out just for the year and then return I wouldn't even have a question... the problem is that I have to give up the slot. School assignments are all by choice/lottery and I couldn't get back in because it's a very popular school. I would also lose the guaranteed sibling spot for my 3 year old for the pre-K program next year.

[crl]

If I could take him out just for the year and then return I wouldn't even have a question... the problem is that I have to give up the slot. School assignments are all by choice/lottery and I couldn't get back in because it's a very popular school. I would also lose the guaranteed sibling spot for my 3 year old for the pre-K program next year.

I see. That makes it much harder. I guess my thoughts would be whether this year would do harm, or just be useless? If it is just useless, can you supplement academics at home? If it would actually be harmful, ie result in a dislike for school or bad school related habits, then I would seriously consider leaving despite the future benefits of staying.

Catherine

[npace19147]

That is so hard, esp if you're dealing with a union. The odds of the teacher being forced out go way down in that situation. IMO the present harm to your child overrides the future potential benefits down the road. You never know what's going to happen in the future - but you do know that the light is gone from his eyes NOW.

GL with your meeting with the head teacher - but get your ducks in a row for switching him asap.

[wolverine2]

I see. That makes it much harder. I guess my thoughts would be whether this year would do harm, or just be useless? If it is just useless, can you supplement academics at home? If it would actually be harmful, ie result in a dislike for school or bad school related habits, then I would seriously consider leaving despite the future benefits of staying.

Catherine

Yes, this is what I'm trying to determine right now... I can survive useless, but not harm...

[crl]

Yes, this is what I'm trying to determine right now... I can survive useless, but not harm...

So, so hard. I will say that I left my kid in a preschool setting with a horrid teacher for a bunch of reasons and I now think it was the worst parenting decision I ever made. So, when you say you can already see a negative change in your child, I tend to think, pull him.

I will also say that my firm position is that I will not make school decisions for my older child premised on benefits for the younger (or vice versa, although that's a less likely scenario). DH finds this a bit frustrating, but I refuse to "use" one kid to benefit the other. So as hard as it is to give up sibling preference, I would set that aside entirely in deciding.

Just my thoughts about how I would approach it. I know this must be so hard.

Catherine

[rlu]

I would also lose the guaranteed sibling spot for my 3 year old for the pre-K program next year.

But if there is only one class per grade, you'd be facing this issue again for DC2, right? Sorry you are in this situation.

[Simon]

I think I would set some personal boundaries and a personal timeline/expectations for improvement and then see if they are crossed or met.

I am not saying give these to the teacher, but I might say to myself, in the next 3 weeks I will a) contact the principal about X and Y, and b) count the number of positive things my Dc tells me about class or examples of learning. Maybe keep a record of the good AND bad, because I know I can forget about the good when I am upset about something like this. I would also see what the Lead Teacher's response is and whether there is any change. Also, I would note that if my Dc comes home and says the teacher did A or B, then it is over. Does that make sense?

Then, if my own minimum level of improvement is not met I would have to lobby for a class change (is that possible?) or change schools.

Not to be a total downer, but what is the possibility she could be moved to another grade level next year and your son would be stuck again? Or, that your Dc2 would be stuck with her if she stays.

[mctlaw]

You have gotten great advice, I would probably not move my son but he has major transition difficulties and and anxiety issues. I can see temporarily moving a child without these issues.

I commiserate as I have my own awful teacher issues and will probably do my own post for advice later!!

[wolverine2]

Will update tomorrow after my conversation with the lead teacher, but another mom has been seeking out any concerns from parents, and she has over two pages of single spaced complaints already, and two phone calls yet to go tonight. There may be mass attrition if the school doesn't do something major. (though I'm still not sure if they actually can do anything).

[Cam&Clay]

That is so hard, esp if you're dealing with a union. The odds of the teacher being forced out go way down in that situation. IMO the present harm to your child overrides the future potential benefits down the road. You never know what's going to happen in the future - but you do know that the light is gone from his eyes NOW.

GL with your meeting with the head teacher - but get your ducks in a row for switching him asap.

If her school closed, it's not the union that placed her. Her contract would guarantee her a job, so teachers from schools that have shut down are given jobs at other schools. It's very normal.

Doesn't change the fact that she sucks, though.

[wolverine2]

If her school closed, it's not the union that placed her. Her contract would guarantee her a job, so teachers from schools that have shut down are given jobs at other schools. It's very normal.

Doesn't change the fact that she sucks, though.

Yes, she was guaranteed a job. The school actually wanted to hire someone from outside the system, but they were told they had to take someone from a school that was closing. She was not their choice...